Hey everybody,
It's been one week tomorrow (Friday) that I have been home from an anterior fusion at l5 s1. I have done nothing....i mean nothing in my house and it looks like sh**! I made a crockpot dinner one night but woopdie doo right? Another thing I did is goofed really bad. They sent me home w/percocets and valium. I did good and when they ran out I told the dr I was ready to drop to vicodin. BIG mistake. They didn't touch the pain! I'd wake up in the middle of the night and take a handful....didn't count em just swallowed em along w/10 mgs of valium to go back to sleep. I got 60 on the 3rd (Monday) and ran out this afternoon. I know bad...please don't yell at me,,,,,I've been yelled at enough by hubby along with being called an addict and the whole 9 yards. Please don't think bad of him he's been very supportive an helpful. I confessed everything to the dr today and she put me back on percocets 8 per day and I'm gonna follow the instructions to the "T". I have just been feeling so depressed. My mom is in Montana, my Grandama is in California and sometimes you just need somebody to offer you a drink or a sandwich or a da** cracker w/o having to ask. Like I said please don't think bad about my hubby, he is a wonderful man who would do anythig for me and I understand why he is upset w/me for taking all my medication so quickly. I just miss my family so bad and am so depressed right now it's not even funny. The dr told me today if I am in still in this much pain on my appointment on the 11th then he will put me in a brace to keep my back straight. I know I am doing a little too much. I take my little girl to school in the AM (which is only 10 minutes each way). I don't do the "log roll" all the time like I should. I haven't gone on anymore walks though! :) I just feel depressed, that's all. Is that normal to feel to sad after a surgery like this??? I hope I turn the corner soon and this pain stops. I feel like I'm being sawed in half at my incision on my tummy and I still swear I can feel the screws in my spine, which I know is crap but it still feels that way. Well enough venting for now. Sorry to slam you with all my sh** but I need to get it out and this seems like a safe place.
thanks for listening (reading)

shakarkia

:bouncing: :wave:

Ohhhhhh Shakarkia!!!!!!

First of all, yes, surgery will bring on symptoms of depression and so will medication.

2nd of all.. CALL YOUR DOCTOR... make SURE they are aware of your symptoms - the depression, the handful of meds, etc. I know you called and got more, but make sure they have put 2 and 2 together and realize you shouldn't have been out of them this soon. It's possible they will need to change you to something else...but do know your meds are playing a BIG way in your depression. As well, coming out of anesthesia (and yes, 1 week home you're still coming out of anesthesia) will play a big roll in depression.

Next, do NOT push it. It's not TIME to push it. Your main goal should be resting, and walking. In my opinion you're doing waaaay too much. (Taking your little girl to school???? Are you suppose to be driving yet?) I forget which procedure you had done, but regardless, can you get a neighbor or someone else to do carpool duty for a couple weeks?

Its hard not having family closeby for support. I know. My family was all 1500 miles away when I had my surgery too.

Don't dwell on the things you're not doing right. Just try to focus and concentrate on how they want you to do them. I'm here to tell you that attitude is everything in this recuperation game. You have to fight to look at the positives right now. Measure small accomplishments, get determined, and vow NOT to be posting on this board as a "re-do" (Not to imply that people who have repeat surgery have not done what they should, but I think it goes without saying that if you don't do what you're suppose to, you COULD end up back in surgery again").

And remember, sleep is important. You need it for your physical health, but you need it for your mental health as well.

Keep posting - I'm sure others will chime in with their thoughts. We'll help get you through this.

Back surgery is a traumatic experinece for you and your body. Its is not going to recover in a week and like TX says your role at this point in time is to rest, not to take on household duties, diving etc. In the scheeme of things does it really matter that the house looks s--t. In a years time when life has returned to normal it wont matter whether it looked like a oalace or a swamp.

Take a deep breath, give yourself permission to be selfish and focus on your needs and those of your body. This period of time is crucial to ensuring you make a strong and full recovery. Listen to others who have been down this road before,. Im sure the last thing you want is to go through it all again. What I have said may sound harsh, its not meant to be its merely the realities of back surgery

Hang in there, be patient and all the very best

Losy :bouncing: :wave: :angel:

Thank you guys for your replies, I really appreciate it. I am still crying like a darn baby, but hopefully this will pass. To top it all off the pressure in my gas line went off so I have been waiting all night long for the gas company to come out and blow the line. We called the ticket in at 5PM last night, it's 6:30 AM now and they haven't come yet. The heater comes on for about 1 1/2 minutes then turns off, not enough pressure to keep the gas on. This is the 4th time it's happened in about a year and a half, so it's only about 55 degrees in my house to top it all off.
I am going to talk to my Dr about the depression on the follow up visit. the Percocet seem to be working waaaayyy better than the vicodin. And I only took 8 yesterday like I was supposed to and just took 2 when I woke up this AM at about 6. I promise, no more until 12 (noon) as it is written for one or two every 6 hours...I'll still take the 2 as I feel I need both. My hubby called in sick to stay home with me today, I need him real bad right now. His work understands, he works in a rehab hospital w/geriatric psyche patients so he's around dr's and nurses all day long. I hope today is better. I haven't even showered since the 1st day home from the hospital.....last Friday so I'm sure I stink to top it all off.....maybe if the gas gets fixed I'll take a shower. LOL! :eek: I'm sorry to unload all this crap on you guys, but it looks like some people are reading it.
TX....thank you so much, you always reply to my topics and I hardly ever reply to yours, I'm so sorry, I'll try better K?
Losy....thank you for your advice, and no, I didn't think you were harsh at all.
Please everyone have a good day....I'll post later and let you know how I am doing K?

thanks,
shakarkia

shakarkia,

I just read your post and nearly fainted, I can't believe what you are doing to yourself.

I am glad your surgery is behind you and hope you have a full recovery and that your pain completely resolves. It is hard not having family near by, especially at times like this. I don't know if your depression started before your surgery or after, but you should tell your doctor so they can figure out if it is the pain meds or if you need to be on an antidepressant until you get through this. I good positive attitude is important in the recovery process. I am so glad you talked honestly to your surgeon about your pain and I hope what she gave you will really help.

I have to tell you this, you are not taking care of yourself at all and you are sure to have a failed recovery if you don't start following your doctors instructions. Did your doctor give you post-op instructions?

I had an anterior/posterior lumbar fusion in Jan 04. My doctors instructions were pretty standard and clear. I was not allowed to drive until I had my 6 week check up, and I was still on the narcotics then, so I didn't and couldn't drive until I got off of them, it was too dangerous. I was not allowed to sit up more than 30 mins at a time, preferably in a recliner. No sitting in hard chairs. You need to be laying in bed and resting, you body has just been through major surgery. You should not be going out taking walks yet. Every time you get up to use the bathroom, take a walk around your house a few times. It is important to do this so you don't get blood clots, but not long walks outside yet, it is way too soon. You shouldn't be doing anything, no housework, no cooking, no driving your children to school. Not only is that totally bad for your back, it is dangerous on the pain meds you are taking. No wonder you are in so much pain.

Of course the incision in your abdoman is still sore. In fact, that was the only pain I had after my surgery, it was a 6 inch incision and it take 2-3 weeks before that will start to feel better. Did they send you home with a walker and raised toilet seat? I used the walker a good week after I came home and even when I could walk better without pain, I still used it for awhile as support and security when I walked around. The last thing you want to do is fall down. Even down the road, you will start to feel better and think you can take on a project like cooking a meal, or dusting the house, but you will find if you do that too soon, you will pay for it.

You should not be bending, twisting, or lifting anything heavier than your doctor told you. For me it was nothing heavier than 1/2 gallon of milk. If you want to hurt your back, you can do it by lifting things. It is just too early. Even when you start to feel better, you have to keep reminding yourself, that you are just starting the fusing process, it is a long process and you still can't do these things just because you aren't in pain anymore. It takes 3-6 months for a fusion to develop and a full year to fuse all the way. You can completely undo everything your doctor has done if you don't follow his instructions and take better care of yourself. You could not heal properly and still remain in pain and end up needed more surgery. I know you don't want that.

Let's talk about some other things you can do right now. As soon as you get your heat back, take a shower, but make sure your husband is home when you do. You will need him to help you dry off your legs, you can't bend to reach them. Don't bend in the shower, no shaving your legs. And, oh my gosh, make sure you get out of bed, out of a chair, go up the stairs the way they showed you in the hospital. If you don't roll over and out of bed and just sit straight up, you are going to hurt your back and you could to irreversible damage. Wearing nightgowns will make it easier on your incision and when you go to the bathroom you don't have to bend down an pull up pants.

Have you asked your mother or grandmother if they would be able to come out and stay with you for a few weeks? If cooking is a problem for your husbnad, there are plenty of pre-made dinners at the grocery store, oven cooked chickens, crock pot meals, all in one. There is pizza and subs and take out. What ever your family has to do, it you need to stay out of the kitchen for a while. Your husband will have to do the wash, and believe me, he can do it. If the house it too much work for your husband and daughter, see if you can get a maid service to come in and clean up for you.

You can't worry about the house right now. You absolutely should not be doing any cleaning or picking up. Do you have a grab it stick? The are very inexpensive and I don't know what I would have done without mine. I never realized who many times a day I bent over to pick up something until I had to use that grab it stick. Do you have a comfortable place you can lay during the day and watch TV or read and rest? Use extra pillows too, especially use one between your legs when you sleep on your side, it will take pressure off your back. And extra pillows can prop you up to read or watch tv without hurting your back. Comfort is the name of the game, rest, eat well, take your walks around the house every time you get up and you can use wipes to clean off in between showers to make yourself feel fresh and better.

When you do start to do some things, limit your self to small activities at first, don't stand on your feet for too long at a time. You won't know it while you are up doing something, at that time, that you are going to hurt after, but too much for too long and you will and you will end up back in bed for the next few days recovering.

I am sure I am fogetting things, but there is one more thing. What are you doing back on the computer already? Sitting at a computer is not good for your back. I wasn't able to go back on the computer for 8 weeks. Maybe you have a laptop you can use in bed. But, if you do get on, which you are if you are reading this, make it quick. Do Not sit any longer than 30 mins at a time and prop your self up to support your back and sit up straight, with pillows.

Let your husband and daughter wait on you, don't hesitate to ask them if you need or want something. Put things you use the most, next to where ever you are laying during the day. Pens, paper, chap stick, hair clips or scrunchies, a finger nail file, magazines, books, the TV remote, what ever you can think of so you don't have to get up too much for them.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, start taking better care of yourself so you will have a quicker and safer recovery and don't do anything that will hurt your back. The next few months are the most crutial time, when your back and body is recovering from major surgery and you fusion is still in the infant stages. You can do it, you must do it, you don't want to end up back in the OR do you? Rest your body, rest your back, and get some extra sleep so you can begin to heal.

Before you know it, you will be back on your feet, slowly but surely, and know all this will be behind you sooner that. Make sure you get some help with the depression too, that could make everything seem and feel better. Take good care of yourself, you are worth it and your family needs you healthy and well.

Best wishes,
Casey

I'm going to just reiterate much of what has already been said here! I'm 3 1/2 weeks post fusion believe you are doing way too much!! I am just barely begining g to do even HALF of what you list.

Also, WARNING:: save some energy for week 2-3 when some of us (see Mel's and my posts around Jan 1) have found that things get REALLY hard--rather its because that is when the last of the anesthestic wears out or ??? Just a suggestion :)

I am still spending 50% +of my time reclining and being "waited on". If you are in pain, ask your dr for more powerful or longer lasting pain meds, but relaxing will go a long way to helping your body recuperate. Take care of yourself and let others take care of you. Can you ask your dr for a home heath aid or look into help from a local church, your daughter's school, a neighbor, or anybody?? You cannot do everything! And if you are driving, you are diving under the influence of powerful drugs-- and that is the same as driving drunk (sorry to be harsh, but it IS!) You can get a DUI. Please be careful - better yet - STOP!!!!

I say this because I so understnd wanting to be "mom"... my house is a bomb-site too! My Christmas tree is still up!! But right now you an be either Super Mom or you can get better, PLEASE chose getting better- so that you can be supper mom later for your daugher and not permenatly injured because you didn't take care of yourself!

I hope I didn't hurt anone's feelings, I just feel strongly about this. The best gift you can give your daughter is a healthy mommy.

Best wishes for a quick recovery.

I was confined to bed for 10 weeks about 20 hours a day after surgery in July. Talk about depression. Just keep researching therapies on the internet and consume your time with reading and family. Life gets better.

Good golly.. how come you ended up being confined to bed that long? Just curious.