My son is 2 1/2 years old, for the last 1 1/2 years we have noticed he has a very bad temper. I'm not talking your basic terrible two' tantrum but really bad fits. At first we tried to overlook it but I'm starting to get worried because when he gets angry he will head butt his head on walls, doors, bite himself on the hand, knock things over. I thought he might have autism or something but I have looked up signs of it and he does not have any of them. I have also took him to see his pediatrician and he says that he may have behavioral or anger problems. This is not my first child but my 4th and I do not like to spank my children but it is to the point that I do not know what else to do. I do not want him to hurt himself by throwing these fits. At this point I am kinda at my wits end and don't know what else to do. Mentally he is doing everyting a 2 year old should such as knowing colors, ABC's, numbers everything like that so I know it is not a developmental problem. Any suggestions out there would be greatly appreciated. Oh by the way he is also not mean toward any other children and as quick as he gets angry it will also go away that quick. One minute he'll be angry the next minute he'll act like nothing even happened .

My now 11 year old son was the same way. He would hit his head on the floor if he didnt get his way. The doc said let him. He will hurt himself, then he wont do it again. It is to get your attention. I remember him getting alot of night terrors too.He did stop eventually, however he still has "issues". Nothing medical. (we had him checked too) I call him my "spiritied" child. He does not harm himself, he does not harm others, he is just difficult if things dont go his way. He is very smart, straight A student. Fidgits alot. Einstein and Beethoven, even Picasso, and Dali...they were "difficult" too. I try not to stifle his creativity, always keep him on a strict schedule, things have to always be in order...and try to limit processed foods ect...I try to enjoy his "spirit", but be strict, and persistant.

Ladywolf, that was a very supportive and wonderful post. I agree with your every word!

ladywolf789,
Thanks for your reply, I was wondering at what age did you notice that your son started to calm down? Sometimes I just get tired of people looking at my son as if he has something wrong with him because the way he throws fits sometimes in public. Did you have toput your son on any type of medication? To me it sounds like your describing a cross between attention deficit which my 11 year old has and obsessive compulsive disorder since you say do everything in the same manner every day. He can be such a loving child to everyone else. I guess I just needed some reassurance that he was gonna be ok. Sometimes he will hit his head on the floor really hard. What you say about him wanting our attention is so true, at bedtime at night he will fight us so sometimes if he is still up at like 12:00 in the morning we will just leave the t.v on but lay in our beds like we are sleeping but he will not just lay and watch t.v. he will jump all over us or try to wake up the other kids in our house until we get frustrated and finally turn off the tv, close the doors and keep him in our room and finally get him to sleep after about a 20 minute struggle. I just feel so horrible after going through all the yelling with him because once he falls asleep and I look at him and watch him sleep I realize how much of an angel he really is even though he may not sound like one. I love him so much and never want to hurt him in any way that is why i do not like to spank him because what if this is something he cannot control? Let me know your input, it's really important for me to hear from someone else who has gone through this. You let me know there is light on the other side of the tunnel THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my..he sounds just like my son (by the way he is a middle child). He would hit his head on the floor from about 9 months old until he was about 3. Then he would have temper tantrums, talk back ect. He started to calm down at about 6 . Then I found out I was having another...which he was not impressed with. He still talks back but we put our foot down. When he was younger I thought my God this child needs to be medicated. But I refused to catergorize him. Fortunatly I had an amazing ped. who checked everything....from allergies to blood..stool.. ect. So instead of trying to change him...seeing that he was born this way..I decided to change the way I parented him. Instead of giving in just so that I did not have to put up with the tantrums and bad behavior, I stuck my ground and just said "no", or put him in time out and walked away. As much as I wanted to smack him.I didnt ..don't let him control you. YOU are the parent. YOU are the adult. You should not have to sit and cry because your son is misbehaving and you cant control his outbursts. As much as I thought oh goodness he'll hate me for being so strict...it made a HUGE difference in the way he behaved. Set the limits, and follow through on your threats. He wont stop screaming? Put him in a room and shut the door...even if he bangs and screams (as long as he cant hurt himself of course) and plug your ears. Put him in time out, take away his toys, be strict! Let him know you are serious. Let him know there are consequences for his actions. Its soooo hard I know. And you have to be extra affectionate with him too. I found the more time I actually played with him, on the floor with his toys, or reading, or a board game, the more he responded to me. AND...to this day, his favorite thing to do with me is play scrabble or chess. I feel for you. I was there...I had 3 nanny's quit because they could not handle him. So I finally quit work, and stayed home. We actually moved from Toronto to a small town(cheaper houses) so I could stay home. By the way, I bet you when he's good he's the sweetest boy. But when he's bad..look out? I have 3 boys, my 14 year old is layed back and calm, my 5 year old is sweet and fun, and my middle guy is just...well..like I said...spirited. Smile dear...they eventually move out I hear? :wave:

Just a thought, does he sleep ok through the night? My youngest daughter was the same way. She would get so mad, the veins on the side of her neck would stand out. At 2 yrs old, I set up an appointment to have her checked for autism. But then I found out what was really going on. She had sleep apnea. I knew she snored, and I knew she woke up several times a night screaming, but the doctors never asked me about it. At 27 months she had her tonsils and adenoids out and it was amazing. She will be 4 on Thursday, and she is the happiest, sweetest child.

Best of luck!

Becky