this may sound awful but i need advice, my 5 and a half month old wont go to bed early and i mean sometimes she wont go to bed until after 1 am!!! so i tried everything, is it all right to put her in bed and let her cry for 10 minutes until she falls asleep?? I tried it and it worked, but i feel guilty, do you think maybe she feels abandoned??? please help!!

i wouldn't feel bad about 10 min. if she fell asleep she doesn't fell abandoned. every night she will probably cry less. if she cries histerically you may have to calm her down and them try again. it sounds to me that she felt fine and went to sleep after she knew it wasn'tplay time anymore. all three of my kids went to sleep in their cribs. sometimes they cried a little but then went to sleep.

hi there -
i have a 6 month old but he goes to bed quite early (6-7pm)... i think babies are all programmed differently so you can't make them go to bed at any set time. but i think it's really important to make sure that she is napping during the day properly. i find that if cooper doesn't have good naps he's harder to settle at night. i've also started to leave him to settle himself as well and doing the normal stuff they tell you in the books to go and reassure and wander in and out...blabla. he doesn't get really worked up - but if he does i usually will pick him up and soothe him and then put him back down (i know, they tell you not to do that - but whatever - you have to do what your gut tells you).
she may be starting to cut teeth - or going through a growth spurt (which cooper did last week and his sleep was unsettled) - so she might be harder to put down at night.
hope this helps a little bit... i think the napping part is a big key.
:)

if baby has gone to sleep after 10 min of crying that's wonderful!! mine would take much longer at some times. please don't fall pray to guilt. although we would never want our children to feel abandoned by us, i don't think it causes any harm for them to learn how to comfort themselves after all you won't be there at every moment in their life when they need comfort.
my own kids would take a little longer when we first started to make them go to sleep on their own, i just checked them every 10 min or so to make sure they hadn't dirtied their diaper or tangled in a blankie or something.

you could try a nice bath just before bed to tire him out and also letting him cry for awhile isn't terrible at all. You need to not feel guilty honey!

Some really great books are "The Happiest Baby on the block", "The secrets of the baby whisperer" Tracy Hogg, and "The no cry sleep solution" Elizabeth Pantley. I have read and reread them all. My 16 month old DS is now an amazing sleeper. He was a horrible sleeper until I read the books and implemented a plan. I have never let him cry. Routine is so important. Consistancy is everything. Everyday pick a bed time and follow it as best you can. DS goes to bed at 7:30 - 8:00. We do a bedtime ritual each night of bath, jammies, milk, books and toothbrushing. We then rock in the rocking chair/ nurse and set in the crib utill DS falls asleep. He knows from these that it is time to go to bed. It took a lot of hard work and determination using consistancy to get to this point. Crying I feel makes them feel as if their crys have no value. It is their only means of communication with us and when we ignore them sometimes and answer them other times it gets confusing. They don't understand that - (They will someday have to learn to sleep on their own). They just know that they are crying and no one is answering. I do agree with other posts that 10 minutes is not very long to cry. I just don't think it will always be this easy. I would get the books no matter what you try they are a great resource and your sleep issues will change as baby get older ie: trips, illness. You should have a game plan to deal with these issues. Baby should not be going to bed at 1 am. A child needs at least 11 hours of sleep at night until they are 5 years old. Your baby would have to sleep in till noon to get this. Babys can't learn or function without enough sleep. Baby is probabally staying up so late because of overstilmulation. If you have any more questions feel free to ask. I have gone through so many sleep issues and read so much on the subject. I hope the tone of this post doesn't sound harsh it is not my intention. I am just trying to fit in what I know and it's been a bit long winded - sorry :)

WHAT WORKED FOR ME,

Between 10-11 PM have a Bedtime routine, a few things that CALM him/her down, Stick to it every night no matter what else is going on (party, family visit etc.), give last feed to make sure he/she is full, Say goodnight and put in crib very sleepy, if he/she fusses hold and comfort until asleep for first few nights.


DO the same things every night and soon he/she will go right to sleep.

He or she may wake up once or twice, go quickly, feed if necessary, no lights, don't make eye contact, no talking or playing.

If sick, or going through a growth spurt still do the routine and if you have to wake up 6 times when he's sick still no talking, smiling, eye contact or lights.

This was recommended by our PED. and our son now sleeps from 9:30 PM to 7:00 AM. He tosses and turns sometimes but goes right back to sleep without crying. He's 4 months old now.

I think the key is being consistent. No matter who comes over to visit. I say sorry its time to put him to bed. You'll notice him/her fuss right at bedtime because he/she is ready to sleep!!!!

I am reading Goodnight, Sleep Tight by Kim West. She calls herself "the sleep lady." Ok- so that's a little goofy, but the book has great information in it. It talks about helping train your baby to put herself to sleep. We all (grown ups, too) have little periods of waking even when we are sleeping at night, but grown ups know how to relax and get back to sleep. Babies just don't know how to do this, and they can get themselves all worked up. This book talks about how long babies should be sleeping at each month of age, and even gives a schedule for naps.

It also explains how to watch for sleep cues, and that by putting baby to bed earlier she may actually sleep longer. For example, I was putting my guys to bed at 8:30pm and they were sleeping until 4am. Recently I noticed that they get cranky and start rubbing their eyes around 8, so I started putting them to bed at 8. This was three nights ago, and they have slept until 5:30 or 6am every single night since I started putting them to bed earlier.

A friend started this routine with her 5 month old son, and within a few nights he was sleeping straight through for 11 hours (he was waking several times each night before) and was also broken of the pacifier habit. I know it was less than a week.

Finally, if you're not swaddling, you may want to try it. I know she might seem a little old for it, but my guys get swaddled tightly every night, and I see no signs that they are ready to outgrow it. I tried letting them sleeo unswaddled about a week ago, and they woke up at 1am. Never again! I'll swaddle until their 21 if I have to!

thanx for the responses, my daughter is now 11 and a half months and is sleeping through the nite lol, i was surprised when i saw my post at the top of the list