Hi Im 17 yrs old and heres my stupid story, i dont really wanna make it long, so here it goes when i was young my father used to beat me up really bad with his fists, legs anything and this really got me angry and agitated every time i was near him, he was very violent towards my mother and me. My mother is a doctor and my Dad is a surgeon, When i was a kid i had my Really happy days and I had my Really sad days, i think it would 50/50 1 day i would be happy the next day my dad would beat the crap out of me for really stupid reasons, like forgetting to turn off the light, i mean i was only 6 yrs old. He would beat my mom very badly and dont want to get into detail and this has really affected my mother too since she recently divorced him and now regrets not doing it sooner. Anyways up to the age of 14 i got beaten very bad, until i started fighting back and was growing stronger. I feel no emotion towards my father today i do not love him nor do i hate him i feel like he is not an important figure in my life, i was simply raised by my mother, my father was never a father figure, he never talked to me about my problems and only recently have i started talkn about my problems wit my mom. When I got to highschool it was a brand new school and i realized i would have no friends, then one of my friends was there and we could relate and i was starting to feel happy. Then suddenly my friend left the school after 2 months and i was left alone, i felt very depressed after since i was pretty much a loner then i started to make friends and i was known as the slacker at school because i didn't do any work nor did i want to succeed, before this i had straight A's in middle school. Now all i did was sleep in class. Finally my sophmore year they expelled me for bad grades and my mom was very disappointed in me and yelled and yelled and we always fought. I went to 3 different schools after that and never made good friends with anyone and i didn't want to all i did was sleep in class and ditch or never come in the first place. Then i started smokin pot which made me happier until i smoked my last joint which lead me to get derealization disorder where i dont see the outside world as being real and everything seems like a dream. I feel like i've hit rock bottom, I haven't been outside in 2 months and the last time i went out i was out for 1 hour, Im constantly in my room because the outside world scares me because of the derealization. I do not feel any emotion due to the disorder and basically feel like a zombie, I feel like killin myself but dont have a gun to do it. Im in this dark hole constantly in a dream like state, have no motivation, no energy, no goals nothing and i dont know if i can take it any longer ive been. This is not my full story, i would literally have to write a book to explain everythins thats been goin on these are just basics. Now my parent's want to put me on Zoloft and i was wondering if there is any hope for me, thanks

There's always hope. In your situation some counseling might help as well as
your own doctor. A mental health doctor or nurse might be able to answer some
of your questions about the derealization problems you're having. Being you spend
a lot of time indoors, have you tried to do any research on pot/derealization. Thru
counseling you may even find there are others that have dealt with a situation
like yours. You've already taken a big step by posting here, keep going. Take Care

thanks alot