mark2004
01-17-2005, 07:11 AM
Hi,
I have a younger brother who is 24 years old and I am (and have been) convinced that something is not right inside his head. I might write a lot to explain, so I apologize ahead of time.
He is the youngest of 3 boys (I'm in the middle). He was always happy-go-lucky, humble with a good heart, but very gullible and a little slow (not dumb). Growing up, I took him under my wing, as we did not get along too much with my older brother. I encouraged him to be outgoing and social, and that was not a problem for him. He kindly was referred to as a class-clown in grade school and in junior high was named best dancer in both the 7th and 8th grades. He played all kinds of sports and had quite a bit of success. He was even voted most inspirational player of the year on his freshmen football team as a little 100-lb. middle linebacker. He had a lot of other successes being very outgoing.
As kids, I may have been too controlling or bossy with him, but I thought I was always looking out for his best interests. Needless to say, we were really close, and maybe he was dependent on me. If our parents couldn't make a game or function, I always tried to be there to support him.
When he was about 15, I left town and joined the Air Force. I still to this day feel like I abandoned him, and from what he tells my mom, he thinks so too.
From 15 until HS graduation, he did well all around and had more friends than I'll ever have. He decided to move out of the house before his 18th birthday and started attending a local community college.
He was doing great...
He began withdrawing from people when he started getting really bad acne and no matter what he tried, it didn't help. He was able to get a doctor to prescribe him Acutane. I was told it was supposed to only be used for a couple months at a time MAX due to it's harmful side effects to the heart, kidneys and who knows what. However, when his acne did not clear up, the doctor kept prescribing it to him, for at least 1-year straight. During this time, he started going to a "cult" church, dropped out of college, and denounced his family and catholic faith. He held onto his job, but devoted most of his money and time to his church (if you want to call it that). After a long and family-stressing story on the "cult" issue, he finally got out of that on his own. He wasn't the same after that, however tried to pick up his life and be strong. He began on his new dream of being a rap singer (it was a hobby before). He said that is what he felt he was meant to be. He still did not want to go to school...He decided that he was going to make it as a rap singer/owning his own recording label. He moved back in with my parents, contributing sometimes, but putting most of his money into expensive music equipment, transforming a bedroom into a makeshift studio. When I would call him, he seemed to always be looking for my approval, asking me to listen to his song that he recorded. I tried to be honest, and tell him that it stunk, but I always found it hard. Instead I would say "that's cool" and "keep workin' on it". I would try to get him to join the military to mature him a little, and I almost got him to, but he always backed out. There was not much going for him (or most everybody) in that tiny town.
I get a phone call one day from my mom, saying that he got arrested. Come to find out, it was for trying to solicit girls to join his "escort service". He spent a few days in jail for what was later downgraded to a misdemeanor. He continued to degrade. Since then, he worked here and there, continuing to live with my parents. Over time (through phone calls and short visits), I noticed he mentally wasn't the same brother I grew up with, and it continues to get worse. Right now he has no job and has decided to start writing a book, become a boxer, become a celebrity agent and continue with his music (all that). He goes off on my mother all the time, apologizes to her, then does it again. He starts a million projects around the house, and never finishes them...leaving my parents' house a wreck. My father is starting to ignore him and my mother is treating him like a 12 year old because that is how he's acting. He has mood swings; happy one minute, angry the next. He says that god has talked to him and still does. My mother says that he said that he feels others in the house and they push him sometimes. He goes days without sleeping, likes to go running at 2:00 in the morning because nobody's out. He bought a bulletproof vest so he's protected from "them" (the people that are jealous and out to get him). At this rate, he's going to drive my parents (65 and 53) to an early grave. I don't see him getting any better, and if I were to even mention getting help to him, I think he would kill himself. My mom said he's told her about how depressed he is and sometimes feels like committing suicide.
I don't know how he became like this, because it happened over time, and he may not even think any thing is wrong with himself. Did the acne start this? Did chemical side effects of Acutane have a part in this? Or the cult experience and recovery? Maybe it's genetic (my late grandmother said craziness ran in the family)?
I don't know what to do with him or how to persuade that he needs professional help. Any advice?
I have a younger brother who is 24 years old and I am (and have been) convinced that something is not right inside his head. I might write a lot to explain, so I apologize ahead of time.
He is the youngest of 3 boys (I'm in the middle). He was always happy-go-lucky, humble with a good heart, but very gullible and a little slow (not dumb). Growing up, I took him under my wing, as we did not get along too much with my older brother. I encouraged him to be outgoing and social, and that was not a problem for him. He kindly was referred to as a class-clown in grade school and in junior high was named best dancer in both the 7th and 8th grades. He played all kinds of sports and had quite a bit of success. He was even voted most inspirational player of the year on his freshmen football team as a little 100-lb. middle linebacker. He had a lot of other successes being very outgoing.
As kids, I may have been too controlling or bossy with him, but I thought I was always looking out for his best interests. Needless to say, we were really close, and maybe he was dependent on me. If our parents couldn't make a game or function, I always tried to be there to support him.
When he was about 15, I left town and joined the Air Force. I still to this day feel like I abandoned him, and from what he tells my mom, he thinks so too.
From 15 until HS graduation, he did well all around and had more friends than I'll ever have. He decided to move out of the house before his 18th birthday and started attending a local community college.
He was doing great...
He began withdrawing from people when he started getting really bad acne and no matter what he tried, it didn't help. He was able to get a doctor to prescribe him Acutane. I was told it was supposed to only be used for a couple months at a time MAX due to it's harmful side effects to the heart, kidneys and who knows what. However, when his acne did not clear up, the doctor kept prescribing it to him, for at least 1-year straight. During this time, he started going to a "cult" church, dropped out of college, and denounced his family and catholic faith. He held onto his job, but devoted most of his money and time to his church (if you want to call it that). After a long and family-stressing story on the "cult" issue, he finally got out of that on his own. He wasn't the same after that, however tried to pick up his life and be strong. He began on his new dream of being a rap singer (it was a hobby before). He said that is what he felt he was meant to be. He still did not want to go to school...He decided that he was going to make it as a rap singer/owning his own recording label. He moved back in with my parents, contributing sometimes, but putting most of his money into expensive music equipment, transforming a bedroom into a makeshift studio. When I would call him, he seemed to always be looking for my approval, asking me to listen to his song that he recorded. I tried to be honest, and tell him that it stunk, but I always found it hard. Instead I would say "that's cool" and "keep workin' on it". I would try to get him to join the military to mature him a little, and I almost got him to, but he always backed out. There was not much going for him (or most everybody) in that tiny town.
I get a phone call one day from my mom, saying that he got arrested. Come to find out, it was for trying to solicit girls to join his "escort service". He spent a few days in jail for what was later downgraded to a misdemeanor. He continued to degrade. Since then, he worked here and there, continuing to live with my parents. Over time (through phone calls and short visits), I noticed he mentally wasn't the same brother I grew up with, and it continues to get worse. Right now he has no job and has decided to start writing a book, become a boxer, become a celebrity agent and continue with his music (all that). He goes off on my mother all the time, apologizes to her, then does it again. He starts a million projects around the house, and never finishes them...leaving my parents' house a wreck. My father is starting to ignore him and my mother is treating him like a 12 year old because that is how he's acting. He has mood swings; happy one minute, angry the next. He says that god has talked to him and still does. My mother says that he said that he feels others in the house and they push him sometimes. He goes days without sleeping, likes to go running at 2:00 in the morning because nobody's out. He bought a bulletproof vest so he's protected from "them" (the people that are jealous and out to get him). At this rate, he's going to drive my parents (65 and 53) to an early grave. I don't see him getting any better, and if I were to even mention getting help to him, I think he would kill himself. My mom said he's told her about how depressed he is and sometimes feels like committing suicide.
I don't know how he became like this, because it happened over time, and he may not even think any thing is wrong with himself. Did the acne start this? Did chemical side effects of Acutane have a part in this? Or the cult experience and recovery? Maybe it's genetic (my late grandmother said craziness ran in the family)?
I don't know what to do with him or how to persuade that he needs professional help. Any advice?
Sponsor
feelbad
01-17-2005, 09:48 AM
Do some research on the different types of bi polar disorders as he does sound somewhat manic.I would also do some really in depth research the accutane and see what you come up with there.My son developed bi polar III from taking antidepressants so I KNOW without a doubt that it IS indeed possible to develop mental disorders from certain types of meds.He really does need some sort of a mental health evaluation done.Something is going on there you just have to find out what that is.Your brother is very lucky to have you in his life.I hope you can find some answers.Keep me posted,K?Marcia
kiehn
01-17-2005, 10:58 AM
Hi Mark
I have to agree with Marcia, your brother does sound like he's having bipolar manic highs and depression lows. There are several types of bipolar whch you could research online or even go read some of the posts on the bipolar board.
Yes I also feel some meds can trigger many different physcial and mental disorders
or side effects. I began having symptoms in "87" and finally diag in "93" and yes it was a antidepressant to triggered it but it didnt cause it. When someone is bipolar and takes a anitdepressant it can send them on a manic high. Bipolar is a heridtary
disorder and from all the research I've done over the years, a person can not
get it by taking a med, however some people have experienced similiar symptoms
from certain meds which subside once the med is withdrawn.
Your brother needs to be evaluated, if you cant get him to go willingly you can
force him, if he is a threat to himself or others you can call the police and they will escort him to a hospital for evaluation and treatment. It sounds as though he's
become more than your parents are able to handle which may very well put him
in the catagory as a threat to his elderly parents. Forcing someone to get treatment
is a hard way to go but look at the outcome if things continue as they are.
As Marcia suggest post back and let the board know how things are going. Take Care
P.S. Marcia is right again your brother is very lucky to have a brother that cares so much.
I have to agree with Marcia, your brother does sound like he's having bipolar manic highs and depression lows. There are several types of bipolar whch you could research online or even go read some of the posts on the bipolar board.
Yes I also feel some meds can trigger many different physcial and mental disorders
or side effects. I began having symptoms in "87" and finally diag in "93" and yes it was a antidepressant to triggered it but it didnt cause it. When someone is bipolar and takes a anitdepressant it can send them on a manic high. Bipolar is a heridtary
disorder and from all the research I've done over the years, a person can not
get it by taking a med, however some people have experienced similiar symptoms
from certain meds which subside once the med is withdrawn.
Your brother needs to be evaluated, if you cant get him to go willingly you can
force him, if he is a threat to himself or others you can call the police and they will escort him to a hospital for evaluation and treatment. It sounds as though he's
become more than your parents are able to handle which may very well put him
in the catagory as a threat to his elderly parents. Forcing someone to get treatment
is a hard way to go but look at the outcome if things continue as they are.
As Marcia suggest post back and let the board know how things are going. Take Care
P.S. Marcia is right again your brother is very lucky to have a brother that cares so much.
feelbad
01-20-2005, 10:05 AM
kiehn, i just wanted to mention with regard to what you stated about a med not being able to create a bi polar condition?well, my son developed Bi polar III from ssris.we have absolutely no family history on either side of the family(and this is going way back into the family Hx on both sides)of any sort of mental health problems except mild depression,and that is with me and also my sister.according to the psyc doc that evaluated my son and made the Dx,he said that this condition is definitely created by the use of SSRIs and they way the brain reacted to it.it was not there prior to the start of the ssris.i have done alot of research on bi polar III and this seems to be the consenses.Marcia
strungoutagain
01-31-2005, 03:35 AM
hey, i agree that a lot of it sounds like bi-polar, but the paranoid fears and physical hallucinations along with the regression in behaviour sounds like it could be early stages schizophrenia. i'm no professional, but i've done a lot of research. i hope that helps.
kiehn
01-31-2005, 05:15 AM
Feelbad
In the last 10 yrs I have heard a few stories such as yours. Im not saying
they arent true but keep this in mind. Up until 10-20 years most people
had never hear of Bipolar no less would people admit to any type of mental
illness in their family or doctors that were that informed. Bipolar is carried in
the male genes but men dont always get it as often as women. Just something
to think about. No one in my family was ever dz as bipolar yet 3 out of 4 siblings
are bipolar two of them male. go figure???? Im not a doctor so I suppose anything
is possible. K
P.S. It's really nice to see a mother so supportive of a loved one that's bipolar.
I hope your son realizes how very fortunate he is.
In the last 10 yrs I have heard a few stories such as yours. Im not saying
they arent true but keep this in mind. Up until 10-20 years most people
had never hear of Bipolar no less would people admit to any type of mental
illness in their family or doctors that were that informed. Bipolar is carried in
the male genes but men dont always get it as often as women. Just something
to think about. No one in my family was ever dz as bipolar yet 3 out of 4 siblings
are bipolar two of them male. go figure???? Im not a doctor so I suppose anything
is possible. K
P.S. It's really nice to see a mother so supportive of a loved one that's bipolar.
I hope your son realizes how very fortunate he is.
Torque
02-05-2005, 09:52 PM
Whoa now !
Perhaps the reason no-one heard of Bi-Polar more than 15 or more years ago is that it was called Manic Depression.
Passed along in the male genes?
I've heard of zero evidence proving any specific genetic link, in terms of the exact genes involved.
Perhaps the reason no-one heard of Bi-Polar more than 15 or more years ago is that it was called Manic Depression.
Passed along in the male genes?
I've heard of zero evidence proving any specific genetic link, in terms of the exact genes involved.