For those of you who suffer from anxiety disorders, do your spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend support you in your recovery? Do you feel they completely understand you? My husband says he understands but I really feel like he is waiting for this "problem" to go away. I feel like he thinks that I am faking it or acting selfish. What can I do to help him to understand? What do you do to get your point across?

Annie

It's very hard for someone who's never had this disorder to understand it.
When you tell someone that you're scared to do something or go somewhere or just plain scared for no reason they tend to look at you like you have three heads.
My Husband was very understanding he never once made me feel like it was "all in my head".
One of my Sisters however was another story..but I won't get into that.

Like I said my Husband was understanding from the very beginning, but I wanted him to REALLY understand...or at least understand to the extent that someone who's never had a panic attack could understand.
I did two things...first of all he's a huge football fan so I put it into these terms.
I told him to imagine that the Steelers were in the Super Bowl and there was 1 second to go in the game and they were down by 1 point.
Then to imagine that the field goal kicker was on the 20 yard line ready to try a field goal...if he makes it they win, if he misses they lose the Super Bowl by 1 point.
Then I told him to imagine how he'd feel...how fast his heart would be beating just to think about all the emotion he'd be feeling at that time...and I told him that's what a panic attack feels like...only you don't really have a reason to feel that way, you just do and you don't know why.
The other thing I did was to ask my Doctor if he had anything that I could give my Husband to read that might explain it better.
He printed out some stories that had been written by panic attack suffers and I gave those to my Husband to read.

For those of you who suffer from anxiety disorders, do your spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend support you in your recovery? Do you feel they completely understand you? My husband says he understands but I really feel like he is waiting for this "problem" to go away. I feel like he thinks that I am faking it or acting selfish. What can I do to help him to understand? What do you do to get your point across?

Annie

My husband felt it was all made up...too much time on the "web". However, he is very antilitical (sp), so I had a check list for my PA I followed. He was not to ask questions that would need my deep thoughts...he would put on a DVD I loved and viewed over 200 times (no need for concentraton-"Overboard" silly comedy with goldie hawn and Kurt). He knows to hold my hand and tell me "you won't die...you are going to be okay...over and over. If I snap at him for a second..he knows it's just the crap I'm going thru...he times it...usually 30 min - this is helpful to me - and that is his role.

He can never understand what I go thru-how I look at him and my two small children, thinking I'll never see them again if I pass out. He does know what comes with it and he has a role that is okay for him. That is about all I can ask of him right now. Being honest when my PAs come along is the key...he handles them now just like he handles our other dramas in the house.

Can you find out what you need and just try to share that with him? My hubby felt helpless until we worked this out.


good luck!

depends on how they want to support you i guess in my case my husband is not so understanding but is paying for all my therapy sooooo i keep the talking and looking for understanding for the psycologist once a week and at least know that i am understood there instead of arguing about it and causing anxiety with my spouse
Tyna

Those of you who have supportive , understanding spouses are extremely lucky. I have a problem with chronic dizziness along with anxiety, PA and depression as a result of an inner ear problem. I have declined any SSRI for now due to the side effects. I did try Lexapro ang got "brain zaps" while I was on it so didn't want to continue. I do take Ativan .5mg twice dai;ly and this has helped tremendously. My husband has his own issues with alcohol and chronic despression and has absolutely no tolerance for whatever I have been going through. He "tolerates" my episodes by withdrawing into himself, drinking and shuts himself away in his room. When I need him he is barely there for me. His emotional involvement is totally gone. To him, I am weak. It's a very lonely existence. Friends have been wonderful and very supportive. My sister, who live 3 hrs away, is my biggest supporter and she is 14 years younger than I am.
I am happy for all of you that have that special someone in your life that will always be by your side. Hold on to that and treasue it.
Having a great day so far in sunny Florida!

support from spouse and family varies a lot, some give none at all, it can be lonely to be suffering anxiety, until recently, some psychiatrists refused to accept that panic attacks existed :eek: