I have a five week old that will not sleep in his crib. At first he would only sleep on my chest and now we have him sleeping in his car seat. At his one month appointment I questioned his doctor about this and he stated that now is the time to correct this "issue". He said to put him in the crib every night and if he hadn't fallen a sleep within 45 minutes to take him out and allow him to sleep in the car seat. This is day five and all he does is scream the whole time. I have tried putting pillows underneath the mattress, leaving a nightlight on and off, and leaving his mobile on and off, giving him a bath before, laying him down a wake and a sleep. Nothing is working. Once he calms down, he'll fall a sleep in my arms and I'll put him in the car seat and he won't wake up. Any suggestions would be great, I return to work in two weeks and would like to have him sleeping in the crib by than.

I have to say here I don't agree with your pediatrician. My pediatrician didn't either. Babies that young only know what makes them comfortable and what doesn't. They are far to young to be forming habits. My son also hated the crib. It's very common because after being snuggled inside you, they want to be secure. The crib is too "open" for them. Plus, they just feel safe with mom. He also hated back sleeping and startled awake like he was falling every few minutes, but I was afraid to put him on his stomach. So he slept in his carseat every night in my room (or with me after the first nighttime feeding) for the first few months. He felt more secure in there. I've heard swaddling can help too, but my son would always squirm out of a swaddle no matter how tightly we wrapped him. I also felt pressured for him to sleep in his crib, but I'd put him in there, and he'd cry and cry, and I couldn't stand it cause I knew he was crying because he just wanted me to get him and didn't understand why I didn't.

As far as "correcting the issue" in my experience, all that is important in the first few months is survival. Doing whatever gets everyone the most sleep! By 6 or 7 months, if you transistion them to the crib, they usually do fine. My son did. He has been sleeping 12 hours through the night in his crib since we put him in there at about 7 months. They are old enough to know at that point that you will always be there and will come back for them. Newborns don't have any idea of object permanence. Basically, if they can't see something it doesn't exist anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him crying for that reason.

Don't feel pressure or guilt if you decide you want to keep him with you at night. It's natural. All the rest of the animal kingdom does it, and every culture in the world besides ours does it too. Of course, if you decide you need him in the crib, you can try swaddling, or one of those sleep positioners to make him feel more "cuddled." My son would often sleep better on his side than on his back.

Good luck!

after about 8 weeks dh and i alsways insisted our kids sleep in their cribs. but i wasn't particular about position, in fact all slept on the tummy's, which most peds will say is fine again so long as your matress is regulary disinfected.

my advice on how would be to dress baby warm enough to not need blankets, unless you plan on swaddling. then i would pick a routine and stick with it. don't change it when it doesn't work the first night. ex. bath, get in pj's, sit in rocker and sing a lullaby very softly with the lights off in room. then place baby gently in crib in whatever position he may prefer. quietly leave room, making sure that all is quiet and dark. things that make noise or shed light will overstimulate baby, and make it even harder to sleep.

now be prepared for the crying to start. chech baby every 10-15 min to make sure he has not tangled himself or wedged himself in corner, then quietly leave without picking baby up. you may have to do this for hrs the first time. if baby ends up needing a feeding, quietly feed in the darkened room with no stimulation, and then start again. it will be rough the first 2-3 nights but you will be shocked at how quickly they respond and learn to comfort themselves.

as a parent if i new i had to go back to work, and baby would be in a daycare setting i would want to equip my child to comfort themselves. i have done this with all three of my kids ages 4 and twin 3 yrolds, and i will do this with the new baby do in july. all of my kids have slept thru the night around 8-12 weeks with one middle of the night feeding. the key is consistency and routine. i hope that helps

Thank you for your replies. I've tried the swaddling thing, and he absoletly hates it. Even in the hospital he hated it. I'm going to try the sleep positioner, because I noticed that he likes sleeping on his side more than his back. I just get sick to my stomach every night he's in the crib screaming. I don't know how many more nights I can take listening to him cry. Especially when he stops as soon as I pick him up. I feel bad, like I'm punishing him. I don't feel him sleeping in the car seat is an "issue", but the doctor does. I'm a first time mother and I don't know everything. The doctor feels that letting him sleep in the car seat will cause bigger issues as he gets older.

What kind of issues will sleeping in the carseat cause? Is your doctor older? I guess I just lucked out, because my doctor was Middle Eastern, and he saw absolutely no problem with those types of things, since culturally, it is acceptable and even expected for babies to sleep with or near their moms in other parts of the world.

My son went to sleep in his carseat every night and slept 4-5 hours. Then he woke for his nightime nurse, and I'd keep him with me for the rest of the night and we both got sleep. I remember trying to make him sleep on his own once and felt sick, just like you said. That's when I said "I'm his mother and I know instinctively that he needs ME!" So I just went with the flow. And as I said before, he transitioned beautifully to his crib at 7 months with a couple nights of crying it out in his crib. At that age, they're aware of alot more than just wanting you, KWIM?

My pediatrician told me of something he'd seen in school where video of Western moms and newborns were shown to women in Africa and Bangladesh. All the women were very distressed when watching the videos at how long it took western moms to respond to their babies cries. And they were all blown away by the way we try to force independence on such helpless young babies. They thought it wasn't natural. My pediatrician said "So if your instinct is telling you it's not natural, you have to go with it." He was a firm believer in prompt response to babies younger than 6 months.

He also said that babies younger than 6 months can't form habits or be spoiled. He attended University of Chicago Med School. So if there's anything you'll learn being a new mom, it's that doctors aren't God, and they aren't always right, and many of them will tell you many different things. You have to know that you know what's best for your baby and trust your instincts. Good luck! I know it's tough.

I'm a first time mother and I don't know everything.

I just saw this quote... no, you don't, but neither does the doctor!! Have faith in yourself and your instincts. Babies are very adaptable. It's really hard to "screw them up" in the first few months. LOL. Believe me, I know. Learn as you go what's right for YOU and try not to worry so much about what the doctors say. I could tell you of a case where my maternal instincts saved my son from being hospitalized with a strep infection at 3 1/2 months, even though the doctors told me nothing was wrong with him. Hang in there, okay?? You're a good mom! There's no sense in making yourself sick every night.

I don't take any parenting advice from my pediatrician. They study medical stuff in med school not parenting. The advice they give is their opinion or advice from their own experiences. Especially with a man pediatrician. My husbad is clueless about parenting, so why would a male pediatrician know any more. My point is that parenting is not always instinctual. Of course responding to your babies crys and just "knowing" certain things about thier well being is instinctual. However, knowing about routines and how to deal will helping them learn to sleep are not nesasarily (sp?) instinctual. Luckily there are many out there, who have studied and worked with many parenting issues for many years and then they write books. There are some really great books out there on sleeping. However, even the cry it out books warn you not to let them cry this early on. They are learning trust at this age and if you don't respond to their only way of communicating to you then they will learn that you will not be there for them when they need you. This will manifest itself later on with an overly clingy child who is not very independant and hard to displine (imho). Some books that saved my life are "Secrets of the Baby whisperer"; "The no cry sleep solution"; "The happiest baby on the block". I highly recomend you getting all or at least one of these books. Most are available at your library if you can't purchase them. The info in them is so important to know. If you are set on the cry it out aproach (which you can do when baby is older) you can get the Ferber book "Solving you childs sleep problems" If you want to cry it out - get the book, there is a set way of doing it. You are right on when you feel bad about letting baby cry, your mommy instincts are working well.

Good luck - the first months are Sooo hard you will get throuh it though. :)

I agree with most of the others here. Just use the carseat if it works. Think about it. Your Ped says it may cause issues as he gets older. What kind of issues? Does the ped think he is going to be sleeping in his carseat when he is in kindergarten? LOL! Just enjoy your baby and remember that nothing lasts forever.

We had two babies during the tummy sleeping era (prior to 1993) and adopted one after BTS. I can tell based on firsthand experience that the vast majority of babies do not sleep well or for very long flat on their backs. Do whatever works with which you are comfortable, whether it be the carseat, the swing, sleeping on the side or sleeping on the tummy (SIDS rates for tummy sleeping newborns are not even close to 1%).

Nancy

I agree.. if the carseat works use it... in the early months you have to do whatever works for your baby.. and I don;t think its possible to spoil a baby under 6 months... that being said... my DD is two months old and is sleeping in her crib... at first she was in a bassinet in our room but her noises were keeping me up at night so I thought I would try the crib so I could get some sleep as well...

At first I tried putting her in there for naps and she would not sleep..she would cry and cry until I picked her up and then she would fall asleep...I laid a familiar blanket down on the mattress and the next time I put her down for a nap she went to sleep.. I dont know if it was the smell, coincedental or what it was but it worked.. she has been sleeping in her crib now every night no problems.. and as a bonus sleeping through the night between 7-8 hours... you might try this.. it worked for me... good luck and let us know how it goes...

Our little girl is six months. Just last week she started sleeping in her crib, knock on wood. :) She's slept right between us in our bed until now. No regrets. Of course we're both lacking sleep but in our minds it's nothing compared to making sure our little girl is not too uncomfortable. Now, she may get screaming mad when we put her in her crib or she may pass right out. If she doesn't go to sleep within a few minutes we take her back out, rock or nurse her back to sleep and start over. She's been sleeping right through with the occasional whimper. So... just for what it's worth - 6 straight months of sleeping right between us and we think her switch to her crib is going very well... again, knock on wood!

This is our first child and no one can say it too many times or strongly enough - DOCTORS DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING. Hell, I consider myself lucky if they know much at all!

Enjoy that little bundle of love and don't try to make it too complicated.

This really works! I tried (unsucessfully) to get my 7 month old to transition from sleeping with me to sleeping in his crib. He COULD NOT put himself to sleep unless he was in his swing. I tried for a week in a half to just get him used to his crib for naps, to no avail. Leaving him upset and crying for up to 2 hours at a time. Finally, I put him in for good a few nights ago....I read him a story (so that I wasn't just dropping him off and running out the door), told him goodnight, then put my ROOMBA vacuum cleaner in, turned it on and left the room. Within minutes, my baby was finally able to put himself to sleep, peacefully. I knew that white noise (fans, vacuums, etc. helped to soothe babies to sleep) and luckily, I just received a Roomba vacuum as a Valentine's Day present. They usually retail for $150. It is great to have a vacuum cleaner that does the vacuuming for you, and as an added bonus, a sleep aid for my 7 month old!

I would also reccomend using the "Ferber" method. He says that you start putting your baby in his/her crib for an alotted ammount of time (however long you are comfortable) and if your baby is still crying at the end of that time, go back in, soothe him and then leave again. Do this until the baby falls asleep. The next week increase the time by 5 minutes. Pretty soon, you will be able to put your baby down and he will fall asleep on his own.

One more thing is important, develop a night time routine. Make it calming and keep it the same each night. We have quiet play and get ready for bed about an hour before bed, and just do relaxing things... and then when 8:00 comes, we put her in her bed.

We only got to 15 minutes, now she falls asleep with minimal crying. She still doesn't "like" going to bed, but she's able to put herself to sleep now. And we went from rocking her to sleep every night, to just putting her down. It was rough, and took us about two-three weeks. But I can tell you it is worth it!!

my daughter just turned 6 months old, I held her in my arms while she slept for the first 4 months, it is the only way either one of us got an ounce of sleep, every one from my husband to my doctor my mother my mil my best friend, everyone criticised me - they said I was creating a monster, every week, i would try her crib at nap time, she was never ready, then one day 2 months ago she fell asleep and she has been in her crib since. i started with short periods, naptime and such then slowly moved to night time. she sleeps only in her crib and i am happy to report she is finally sleeping thru the night. moral - every child is different and you do what feels right for your baby -ps- there is a cd called infant calm that plays the sweeper, the dryer and the hair blower - it also part of the reason i got her in her crib because she too loved the vaccum. i copied to another cd and play it over and over for about 2 hours good luck

My first DS now 20 months old, slept in his carseat until he was about 6 months old. He wouldn't sleep in his crib at all, and he felt more safe and secure in his carseat. My DH hated that I let him do it, but I was the one that had to get up and tend to him at night, so I did what worked best for the both of us. Once I got him down to a routine and he had developed good sleeping habits, I would let him fall asleep in his carseat and then gently move him to his crib. This worked extremely well! Now with my second DS, 9 days old, I have noticed that he too doesn't really like to sleep in his crib. He actually prefers to sleep on my chest, but this makes me nervous...so I have discovered something that might work for you. It is called a "Boppy Pillow". You can get it at most baby supply stores, runs about $30 and it looks kind of like a donut that is not completely hooked on one side. I put my DS in this pillow, propped up in his crib and he sleeps better! I think that he likes it because it simulates the same holding sensation he would feel if I were holding him rocking him in my arms. You should try it. That way he still feels safe and you have him out of the carseat. Also, I agree with what some of the other posters said about overstimulation. At night make sure that his room is dark and quiet. Best of luck! :wave: