JustMeBeingMe
01-29-2005, 07:17 PM
Hello All,
As some of you may remember, my husband didn't believe that I have fibro and thought I was using it as a ploy to avoid certain household chores. He went as far as asking me for a divorce. I appreciate all the response and support I received from that post.
The rheumy certainly agrees with the first diagnosis of fibro. What blows me away are his recommendations. I totally agree with sticking to little or no caffeine, which I have been doing for a long time, and cut off the alcohol, which will be hard, because I use it regularly, but I am doing it and am happy to do so if it will help. And, he says I need to get into an aggressive aerobic exercise program 5 tines a week for 45 minutes a day. I explained to him that I stretch almost every day and practice a short form in Tai Chi, my range of motion is about 90% - but he says that won't cut it. I asked him about diet and he said there isn't any kind of diet that would help me at all.
WOW! These two things are totally opposite of everything I have heard and read regarding fibro. Has anyone out there been capable of doing aggressive aerobics for that long for that many days a week? I have heard some of you mention that special diets seem to help. Could you give me more information on that?
As far as my marriage goes, we haven't spoken to each other in a while. He, of course, won't apologize and I wouldn't forgive him if he did. I believe I truly want to be rid of him. I have proposed going to a "mediator" which would save on all kinds of dollars, but he hasn't agreed or disagreed to that yet. I do need to get rid of the stress he generates in my life and I am thankful I have so many friends - new and old - who are supporting me on this. It will take time before anything is decided, but I have a better attitude about everything now and know what kind of "baggage" I need to take with me or leave behind in order to enjoy my new adventure in life!
Thanks for listening,
Becky
As some of you may remember, my husband didn't believe that I have fibro and thought I was using it as a ploy to avoid certain household chores. He went as far as asking me for a divorce. I appreciate all the response and support I received from that post.
The rheumy certainly agrees with the first diagnosis of fibro. What blows me away are his recommendations. I totally agree with sticking to little or no caffeine, which I have been doing for a long time, and cut off the alcohol, which will be hard, because I use it regularly, but I am doing it and am happy to do so if it will help. And, he says I need to get into an aggressive aerobic exercise program 5 tines a week for 45 minutes a day. I explained to him that I stretch almost every day and practice a short form in Tai Chi, my range of motion is about 90% - but he says that won't cut it. I asked him about diet and he said there isn't any kind of diet that would help me at all.
WOW! These two things are totally opposite of everything I have heard and read regarding fibro. Has anyone out there been capable of doing aggressive aerobics for that long for that many days a week? I have heard some of you mention that special diets seem to help. Could you give me more information on that?
As far as my marriage goes, we haven't spoken to each other in a while. He, of course, won't apologize and I wouldn't forgive him if he did. I believe I truly want to be rid of him. I have proposed going to a "mediator" which would save on all kinds of dollars, but he hasn't agreed or disagreed to that yet. I do need to get rid of the stress he generates in my life and I am thankful I have so many friends - new and old - who are supporting me on this. It will take time before anything is decided, but I have a better attitude about everything now and know what kind of "baggage" I need to take with me or leave behind in order to enjoy my new adventure in life!
Thanks for listening,
Becky
Sponsor
JenniferEvelynn
01-29-2005, 08:00 PM
HI there Just,
First of all, I'm glad you're realizing that you need to get rid of stress - mainly your mariage. I'm sorry, that sounds awful, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Sounds like your marriage is over. It will be a rough road for a while, but once it's over it will be a huge relief. I've been through it myself.
As for what your dr said.... What the heck is he talking about?????? Aggressive aerobics??? One attempt at that and I'd be done for! With the pain, stiffness, fatigue, etc, if I was aggressive with ANYTHING I'd be down for the count and not back on my feet for a week! I think walking is the best thing for those of us with FM. A steady, non-aerobic pace (after the inital protest from your body) can do good things for you.
As far as special diets, I think many of us find that cutting down or eliminating sugar helps us. I definately feel worse if I consume sugary junk foods. There are plenty of opinions on this site as to what foods are or are not good for FM, as well as opinions about herbs and vitamins. Everybody is different and everybody's FM is different. My advice? Ignore that doctor's advice!
God bless, Jen
First of all, I'm glad you're realizing that you need to get rid of stress - mainly your mariage. I'm sorry, that sounds awful, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Sounds like your marriage is over. It will be a rough road for a while, but once it's over it will be a huge relief. I've been through it myself.
As for what your dr said.... What the heck is he talking about?????? Aggressive aerobics??? One attempt at that and I'd be done for! With the pain, stiffness, fatigue, etc, if I was aggressive with ANYTHING I'd be down for the count and not back on my feet for a week! I think walking is the best thing for those of us with FM. A steady, non-aerobic pace (after the inital protest from your body) can do good things for you.
As far as special diets, I think many of us find that cutting down or eliminating sugar helps us. I definately feel worse if I consume sugary junk foods. There are plenty of opinions on this site as to what foods are or are not good for FM, as well as opinions about herbs and vitamins. Everybody is different and everybody's FM is different. My advice? Ignore that doctor's advice!
God bless, Jen
fibrolady
01-29-2005, 08:15 PM
{removed}
{please write your own posts - do not copy from articles or brochures}
FMS is not rare. In fact, physicians are only now recognizing how frequently this condition appears, especially in women and often mis-diagnose FMS.
So I am not surprised to hear that your husband doesn't believe you. Until very recently, most doctors didn't believe us either. Read more about what I have to say about FMS in other postings. Good luck and get rid of hubby if he doesn't come around because FMS sufferers need lots of support and understanding.
{please write your own posts - do not copy from articles or brochures}
FMS is not rare. In fact, physicians are only now recognizing how frequently this condition appears, especially in women and often mis-diagnose FMS.
So I am not surprised to hear that your husband doesn't believe you. Until very recently, most doctors didn't believe us either. Read more about what I have to say about FMS in other postings. Good luck and get rid of hubby if he doesn't come around because FMS sufferers need lots of support and understanding.
kcgage
01-29-2005, 08:23 PM
My doc suggested exercise as well. I actually do feel better when I get out for a walk or some light form of cardio.......but aggressive????Uh, I don't think so. He also suggested yoga, which I will be trying on Monday.
When my doc told me to exercise, he said to do it for 5 minutes one day, then rest the next day. If you're okay, then increase it by 1-2 minutes after that, still resting a day in between. Once you're up to 30 mins, try it every day. I'm still working on that.
But no, I have NEVER heard of aggressive cardio workouts, or that often. Just do what works best for you. Fibro is so individualized that what works for one of us, may not work for another.
Good Luck :wave:
When my doc told me to exercise, he said to do it for 5 minutes one day, then rest the next day. If you're okay, then increase it by 1-2 minutes after that, still resting a day in between. Once you're up to 30 mins, try it every day. I'm still working on that.
But no, I have NEVER heard of aggressive cardio workouts, or that often. Just do what works best for you. Fibro is so individualized that what works for one of us, may not work for another.
Good Luck :wave:
bluelakelady
01-29-2005, 08:43 PM
hi becky,
you have been doing alot of examining within. good for you! the difference in the way you sound in your post now assures me there is a self reliant woman emerging. hooray!
silence is golden. better to say nothing than to indulge in harsh words.
i have tried a trillion diets and suppliments. exageration. these days i make sure i eat one healthy meal a day and choke down something even if it's just a slice of toast. i do indulge in candy and i bake. exercise has been the key for me. if you are already active, dance may be okay. you are smart enough to stop when your body says to. i would suggest you try water aerobics first. less impact and all that warm water feels nice. if you have health club near you they usually offer a discounted rate if you have a script from your doc. start slow and work your way up. the message the doctor attempted to convey is the vital need to be active. building stamina and toning muscles as well as building them. i did 10 laps in the pool last week. i started with 2 and thought that would kick my fanny. it did. 10 did not. and that's only 3 weeks of swimming two days per.
your words convey the healthy resolve you are coming to. i salute you! you can do the alcohol thing. shoot, if you have been doing it every day for a long time you just may discover you are bored with the whole process involved in drinking.
peace,
bluelakelady
peace,
bluelakelady
you have been doing alot of examining within. good for you! the difference in the way you sound in your post now assures me there is a self reliant woman emerging. hooray!
silence is golden. better to say nothing than to indulge in harsh words.
i have tried a trillion diets and suppliments. exageration. these days i make sure i eat one healthy meal a day and choke down something even if it's just a slice of toast. i do indulge in candy and i bake. exercise has been the key for me. if you are already active, dance may be okay. you are smart enough to stop when your body says to. i would suggest you try water aerobics first. less impact and all that warm water feels nice. if you have health club near you they usually offer a discounted rate if you have a script from your doc. start slow and work your way up. the message the doctor attempted to convey is the vital need to be active. building stamina and toning muscles as well as building them. i did 10 laps in the pool last week. i started with 2 and thought that would kick my fanny. it did. 10 did not. and that's only 3 weeks of swimming two days per.
your words convey the healthy resolve you are coming to. i salute you! you can do the alcohol thing. shoot, if you have been doing it every day for a long time you just may discover you are bored with the whole process involved in drinking.
peace,
bluelakelady
peace,
bluelakelady
JustMeBeingMe
01-29-2005, 09:35 PM
Thanks to those who have responded. Your words of encouragement are helping the "New Me". Man, I gave up liquor and now I should watch my sugar, too! I guess I can do that, too. I was on the Atkins a couple of times and the first two weeks were really strict, absolutely NO alcohol, NO sugar, and NO caffeine. I did it so I know I can do this, too.
- to BLL, I don't live close to a pool and I will not be able to afford much once our divorce is finalized. I am perfectly content with the exercise routine I am in. In August, I was working with a wonderful physical therapist who showed me many stretching exercises. I am proud that I have continued with these even after I stopped seeing her. Then, in November when I got the first diagnosis, I found my old Tai Chi tapes and started re-learning the routine. It makes me tired, but it is a "good" tired. Some days I will even do it more than once. I work 40 hours a week and do a lot of walking on campus. I rarely will drive to another part of campus (unless it is too cold and windy).
Oh, I have also found something wonderful I wanted to share. For those of us who seem to be cold a lot of the time, there are a "made for women" long underwear called Cuddle Duds. They are really light weight and soft and cuddly. I wear them so much, I need to go buy a few more sets so I don't have to continually keep doing laundry all the time!
To good days for all,
Becky
- to BLL, I don't live close to a pool and I will not be able to afford much once our divorce is finalized. I am perfectly content with the exercise routine I am in. In August, I was working with a wonderful physical therapist who showed me many stretching exercises. I am proud that I have continued with these even after I stopped seeing her. Then, in November when I got the first diagnosis, I found my old Tai Chi tapes and started re-learning the routine. It makes me tired, but it is a "good" tired. Some days I will even do it more than once. I work 40 hours a week and do a lot of walking on campus. I rarely will drive to another part of campus (unless it is too cold and windy).
Oh, I have also found something wonderful I wanted to share. For those of us who seem to be cold a lot of the time, there are a "made for women" long underwear called Cuddle Duds. They are really light weight and soft and cuddly. I wear them so much, I need to go buy a few more sets so I don't have to continually keep doing laundry all the time!
To good days for all,
Becky
tkgoodspirit
01-29-2005, 11:54 PM
Hiya JBM,
Having an unsupportive spouse, or anyone else in your life for that matter, is first and foremost very stressful, which will cause your FM to kick into high gear.
As for the exercise, I got that from my rheumy also. When I was first dx'd she told me to exercise "vigorously" (a little different than "aggressive" :) ). I thought the same thing, Ugh! However; I have read many posters on this board talk about how much better they feel after they do exercise. One poster I think, mentioned actually running a few miles on different days during the week. And BLL is right about the pool, it feels good. Sometimes you can check out the Y near you and they have a heated pool you may use cheap. I used to run 6 miles a day, train for marathons, lift weights, if it was exercise, I did it. That is not the case any longer. Just before my dx of FM I was walking 3 miles a few times a week and working on my treadmil, but I have such severe back injuries and bursitis in my right hip, I'd have to use my cane to run now, and wouldn't that look silly? LOL But I believe that a bit of exercise would probably be good for me. I am going to try Hatha Yoga soon. I have a good instructional tape, just gotta stick it in the machine. Now ain't that pitiful? LOL But I'm not sure how I'll be able to do get through it because of my back. Heck, I have to grab the rails in my head board to just change positions in bed at night.
But if I were you, I'd try a wee bit of exercise. Certainly not aggressive. You should have asked your doc if she exercised aggressively 5 X a week. Ah, she probably does, and we don't like her then! LOL (kidding) But try a short slow walk around your neighborhood, see if a freind will do it with you. Walk, rest, then maybe try something different the next go round so you don't get bored. I have a recumbant bike, wich is good exercise and not overly exerting. I can't recall the poster who was on a pretty tight exercise routine, you may just browse through the past posts on the FM board, but I remember her saying that it did make her feel better. I do notice myself, that if I go somewhere that involves a wee bit of walking, my FM feels better, but my back is wrenching.
So give it a try, or your legs will look like mine, marshmellows! :) I used to have nice sculpted muscley legs and arms. AAAAAhhhhh, the good old days. Well at least I have pictures. ;)
Good luck honey, and keep us posted.
Wasn't it wishn who was interested in starting an exercise routine? Maybe you guys could start together and post back here with your routine and your results.
much luv,
tk
Just wanted to add a post script. There are more and more reports out there that state how rheumies may not necessarily be the best docs to treat FM since most aren't very familiar with the condition and really don't want to learn more about it. They have a basic knowlegde about it. Some have taken extra seminars and training for FM and therefore are better doctors for it, but it is now suggested that you try to see someone who treats musculoskeletal diseases and conditions, or neurologists. You can use the web to search for specific docs in your area who may have taken seminars for FM, or call around and ask if a doctor treats FM. Check out a FM support group in your area, they are free, and I'm telling you, word of mouth about a good doctor is always the best source you can get. If someone with FM mentions a doctor is good, usually they are. I also think that there is a doctor refferal list in each state of FM docs who have been recommended by patients. Its at one of the FM websites out there and there is a refferal list by patients of doctors who they feel are "goodies".
Having an unsupportive spouse, or anyone else in your life for that matter, is first and foremost very stressful, which will cause your FM to kick into high gear.
As for the exercise, I got that from my rheumy also. When I was first dx'd she told me to exercise "vigorously" (a little different than "aggressive" :) ). I thought the same thing, Ugh! However; I have read many posters on this board talk about how much better they feel after they do exercise. One poster I think, mentioned actually running a few miles on different days during the week. And BLL is right about the pool, it feels good. Sometimes you can check out the Y near you and they have a heated pool you may use cheap. I used to run 6 miles a day, train for marathons, lift weights, if it was exercise, I did it. That is not the case any longer. Just before my dx of FM I was walking 3 miles a few times a week and working on my treadmil, but I have such severe back injuries and bursitis in my right hip, I'd have to use my cane to run now, and wouldn't that look silly? LOL But I believe that a bit of exercise would probably be good for me. I am going to try Hatha Yoga soon. I have a good instructional tape, just gotta stick it in the machine. Now ain't that pitiful? LOL But I'm not sure how I'll be able to do get through it because of my back. Heck, I have to grab the rails in my head board to just change positions in bed at night.
But if I were you, I'd try a wee bit of exercise. Certainly not aggressive. You should have asked your doc if she exercised aggressively 5 X a week. Ah, she probably does, and we don't like her then! LOL (kidding) But try a short slow walk around your neighborhood, see if a freind will do it with you. Walk, rest, then maybe try something different the next go round so you don't get bored. I have a recumbant bike, wich is good exercise and not overly exerting. I can't recall the poster who was on a pretty tight exercise routine, you may just browse through the past posts on the FM board, but I remember her saying that it did make her feel better. I do notice myself, that if I go somewhere that involves a wee bit of walking, my FM feels better, but my back is wrenching.
So give it a try, or your legs will look like mine, marshmellows! :) I used to have nice sculpted muscley legs and arms. AAAAAhhhhh, the good old days. Well at least I have pictures. ;)
Good luck honey, and keep us posted.
Wasn't it wishn who was interested in starting an exercise routine? Maybe you guys could start together and post back here with your routine and your results.
much luv,
tk
Just wanted to add a post script. There are more and more reports out there that state how rheumies may not necessarily be the best docs to treat FM since most aren't very familiar with the condition and really don't want to learn more about it. They have a basic knowlegde about it. Some have taken extra seminars and training for FM and therefore are better doctors for it, but it is now suggested that you try to see someone who treats musculoskeletal diseases and conditions, or neurologists. You can use the web to search for specific docs in your area who may have taken seminars for FM, or call around and ask if a doctor treats FM. Check out a FM support group in your area, they are free, and I'm telling you, word of mouth about a good doctor is always the best source you can get. If someone with FM mentions a doctor is good, usually they are. I also think that there is a doctor refferal list in each state of FM docs who have been recommended by patients. Its at one of the FM websites out there and there is a refferal list by patients of doctors who they feel are "goodies".
JustMeBeingMe
01-30-2005, 12:10 PM
Hi TK,
I don't know if you missed my response to BLL, but I do exercise daily. I do all kinds of stretches in the A.M. and then, once or twice a day, I do Tai Chi. It is a great routine that uses almost every muscle imaginable. It also is a lesson in balance and meditation. I also bowl twice a week in the winter and play softball in the summer. I pay for it every time I do too much, but that is why I am on the pain meds. I agree that daily exercise is extremely important. I have had this since Nov 2003 and wasn't trying to do too much exercise at that time. I would get a sub for bowling if I didn't feel up to it. I would curl up in a ball and do nothing. But last January, I started physical therapy - in a pool - and I got my range of motion mostly back and have continued to exercise since then. But, the rheumy told me that wasn't enough. I tend to disagree with him. If I wasn't already doing enough, then I wouldn't be able to work my job or do my other activities. I rarely call for a sub and last summer, I think I only sat out for one softball game.
Without the pain meds, I wasn't able to play with my grandchildren like I usually do. They came last Easter for a week, and I wasn't the usual grandma they were used to. In the summer when they came back, I was on the right meds and they loved having me back.
I have a choice: to stay on the pain meds and try to live my life as normally as possible, or stopping them and not be able to do the things I love when I want to do them. I am 48 years old and am not ready to stop. I'm sure my decision will be to keep on the meds until I can't take them anymore. Hopefully I will be old by then and I will stop the meds and be old. I am not ready to be old at this stage of my life.
To good days for all,
Becky
I don't know if you missed my response to BLL, but I do exercise daily. I do all kinds of stretches in the A.M. and then, once or twice a day, I do Tai Chi. It is a great routine that uses almost every muscle imaginable. It also is a lesson in balance and meditation. I also bowl twice a week in the winter and play softball in the summer. I pay for it every time I do too much, but that is why I am on the pain meds. I agree that daily exercise is extremely important. I have had this since Nov 2003 and wasn't trying to do too much exercise at that time. I would get a sub for bowling if I didn't feel up to it. I would curl up in a ball and do nothing. But last January, I started physical therapy - in a pool - and I got my range of motion mostly back and have continued to exercise since then. But, the rheumy told me that wasn't enough. I tend to disagree with him. If I wasn't already doing enough, then I wouldn't be able to work my job or do my other activities. I rarely call for a sub and last summer, I think I only sat out for one softball game.
Without the pain meds, I wasn't able to play with my grandchildren like I usually do. They came last Easter for a week, and I wasn't the usual grandma they were used to. In the summer when they came back, I was on the right meds and they loved having me back.
I have a choice: to stay on the pain meds and try to live my life as normally as possible, or stopping them and not be able to do the things I love when I want to do them. I am 48 years old and am not ready to stop. I'm sure my decision will be to keep on the meds until I can't take them anymore. Hopefully I will be old by then and I will stop the meds and be old. I am not ready to be old at this stage of my life.
To good days for all,
Becky
tkgoodspirit
01-30-2005, 01:47 PM
Becky,
You seem to be doing great to me. What I wouldn't give to be able to even pick up a bowling ball or a bat. You are very lucky to be able to do all that. I can't even hold up a book without the pain from Carpal Tunnel causing me to rest the book on something so I can read. And my back would never allow me the privilegde of bowling or softball. So, you seem like you are doing pretty good, so poo poo to your doctor! Keep up what you are doing. Oh and you are so lucky to have your grandchildren near you. I will be seeing my only child (son) on Tuesday as he makes his way from Texas to Maryland to set up house for his wife and my little "poopie face". I went to Texas to finally meet my 14 month old grandbaby, he's a doll. Now the whole family is packing up and moving to Maryland. His wife and the baby will follow them in May. I'm still working on my DIL to stay with me a few days before they head up. She is currently living with her mother and I'm sure she wants to spend as much time with her mom as she can before she makes the big move. God help me, they will be living near my first husband who hates me, not as much as his wife does though! LOL Well, that's my life! Wanna come and play?
I'm 46 and my hope is to someday feel well enough to join a volunteer program that helps teach adults to read. I've looked into it and it only requires (after training) a couple hours a week. I think I could commit to a couple hours a week. With my FM I never know how I am going to feel every given day. Like today, so far, I feel pretty okay, yesterday, I felt like a rock fell on me.
So, I'm going to sit here right now and watch my favorite show: ROSANNE on Oxygen and let it make me laugh. Then maybe I'll hang on my inversion board, or watch my Yoga tape (hee hee). But before all that, there is a pile of papers sitting over there that need filing and shredding, and I'm sure there is a bill in there somewhere that needs to be paid!
Here's wishing you a good spirit,
tk
You seem to be doing great to me. What I wouldn't give to be able to even pick up a bowling ball or a bat. You are very lucky to be able to do all that. I can't even hold up a book without the pain from Carpal Tunnel causing me to rest the book on something so I can read. And my back would never allow me the privilegde of bowling or softball. So, you seem like you are doing pretty good, so poo poo to your doctor! Keep up what you are doing. Oh and you are so lucky to have your grandchildren near you. I will be seeing my only child (son) on Tuesday as he makes his way from Texas to Maryland to set up house for his wife and my little "poopie face". I went to Texas to finally meet my 14 month old grandbaby, he's a doll. Now the whole family is packing up and moving to Maryland. His wife and the baby will follow them in May. I'm still working on my DIL to stay with me a few days before they head up. She is currently living with her mother and I'm sure she wants to spend as much time with her mom as she can before she makes the big move. God help me, they will be living near my first husband who hates me, not as much as his wife does though! LOL Well, that's my life! Wanna come and play?
I'm 46 and my hope is to someday feel well enough to join a volunteer program that helps teach adults to read. I've looked into it and it only requires (after training) a couple hours a week. I think I could commit to a couple hours a week. With my FM I never know how I am going to feel every given day. Like today, so far, I feel pretty okay, yesterday, I felt like a rock fell on me.
So, I'm going to sit here right now and watch my favorite show: ROSANNE on Oxygen and let it make me laugh. Then maybe I'll hang on my inversion board, or watch my Yoga tape (hee hee). But before all that, there is a pile of papers sitting over there that need filing and shredding, and I'm sure there is a bill in there somewhere that needs to be paid!
Here's wishing you a good spirit,
tk