kiehn
01-31-2005, 08:38 PM
I have been reading a book called Living without Manic Depression
by Mary Ellen Copeland. One of my triggers is Mental Health Stigma
and how different behaviors from trauma's in life can set us apart from
most people. One of mine is poor social skills that I would like to improve
on. At least I feel I have poor social skills. It's like I dont know where to draw the line sometimes and I say to much which pushes people away.
Im dont even know how to explain it may if I did I could begin to work on it. I just know I lack something in social skills. So Im hoping anyone that wants to participate will do so by pointing out anything about my skills to help me, whether in this post or any other I respond to. Im not looking so much at grammer errors but at the way I respond socially. Please dont feel you
will offend me as this is something I want to improve on and I cant
do it without as many honest opinion as possible.
Thanks in advance, K
by Mary Ellen Copeland. One of my triggers is Mental Health Stigma
and how different behaviors from trauma's in life can set us apart from
most people. One of mine is poor social skills that I would like to improve
on. At least I feel I have poor social skills. It's like I dont know where to draw the line sometimes and I say to much which pushes people away.
Im dont even know how to explain it may if I did I could begin to work on it. I just know I lack something in social skills. So Im hoping anyone that wants to participate will do so by pointing out anything about my skills to help me, whether in this post or any other I respond to. Im not looking so much at grammer errors but at the way I respond socially. Please dont feel you
will offend me as this is something I want to improve on and I cant
do it without as many honest opinion as possible.
Thanks in advance, K
Sponsor
princesspea
01-31-2005, 10:47 PM
K,
Okay(no pun intended), I know you might not believe me. I don't see any social problem and I'm being very VERY honest here. I don't think you share inappropriately at all. I think your experience and your intution is a important part of who you are. Good Heaven I posted about my perimenopause. Talk about telling too much! :D
I have the same problem you do in social situations though. I have had to learn to stop and think "is this person going to give a care about what's going on with me." I've stopped sharing somethings, like my colon health :rolleyes: , with just anybody.
Everybody that knows me knows I'm bp. I wear it like a badge of honor. I've been able to help several people by being so open about it. The people who react badly I figure that's on them and their close mindedness.
You come across to me as a caring, very bright, honest, open person. I don't see any of those things as character flaws. I've helped allot of people in AA identify and work on their flaws. I just don't see it in you on this board. Sorry I can't be of more help. I'd like to help.
Love,
Jamie
Okay(no pun intended), I know you might not believe me. I don't see any social problem and I'm being very VERY honest here. I don't think you share inappropriately at all. I think your experience and your intution is a important part of who you are. Good Heaven I posted about my perimenopause. Talk about telling too much! :D
I have the same problem you do in social situations though. I have had to learn to stop and think "is this person going to give a care about what's going on with me." I've stopped sharing somethings, like my colon health :rolleyes: , with just anybody.
Everybody that knows me knows I'm bp. I wear it like a badge of honor. I've been able to help several people by being so open about it. The people who react badly I figure that's on them and their close mindedness.
You come across to me as a caring, very bright, honest, open person. I don't see any of those things as character flaws. I've helped allot of people in AA identify and work on their flaws. I just don't see it in you on this board. Sorry I can't be of more help. I'd like to help.
Love,
Jamie
kiehn
01-31-2005, 11:31 PM
Hmmm, Thanks Jamie I almost felt I wasnt bipolar for a few seconds, but I dont feel
I deserve the credit you give. Maybe part of it is when I reply to a post it takes me so long to post becasue I have to concentrate, think and erase where as I cant in real conversation and I tend to ramble trying to explain myself. Im still open for constructive criticism. K
I deserve the credit you give. Maybe part of it is when I reply to a post it takes me so long to post becasue I have to concentrate, think and erase where as I cant in real conversation and I tend to ramble trying to explain myself. Im still open for constructive criticism. K
Hedgehog No 1
02-01-2005, 06:17 PM
K,
So glad you have put in an appearence. Can't think straight myself, yet. I WILL get back to you as soon as I can.
Best wishes, Hadge.
So glad you have put in an appearence. Can't think straight myself, yet. I WILL get back to you as soon as I can.
Best wishes, Hadge.
ManiMe
02-02-2005, 12:38 AM
kiehn ~
Your first post in this thread could have been my own words.
All my life, people have thought me an a-hole, due mostly to as you say sharing beyond their point of comfort.
Most definitely, "we" tend to get carried away. It's like an intoxicating thrill to have someone(s) else seemingly caring about what we have to say - and then not recognizing in time that at some point we have passed their threshold of interest - and even tolerance. On really bad days, we then attempt to regain their interest - perhaps by even tossing MORE titillating or perhaps borderline to full-blown "inappropriate" comments.
I won't blow smoke into any unguarded orifice.
That's still an edgy habit of mine, to this day.
So, you asked if your posts have exhibited such a pattern. I don't think so. But what the ______ do I know ?
Your first post in this thread could have been my own words.
All my life, people have thought me an a-hole, due mostly to as you say sharing beyond their point of comfort.
Most definitely, "we" tend to get carried away. It's like an intoxicating thrill to have someone(s) else seemingly caring about what we have to say - and then not recognizing in time that at some point we have passed their threshold of interest - and even tolerance. On really bad days, we then attempt to regain their interest - perhaps by even tossing MORE titillating or perhaps borderline to full-blown "inappropriate" comments.
I won't blow smoke into any unguarded orifice.
That's still an edgy habit of mine, to this day.
So, you asked if your posts have exhibited such a pattern. I don't think so. But what the ______ do I know ?
kiehn
02-02-2005, 04:13 AM
Manime
Thanks for you imput, I can totally relate to what your saying, yet I find it sad
I find comfort knowing someone else suffers in the same manner as I do. hmmmmm
I sure hope that doesnt fall into the saying missery loves company. : (
I know I do it more so in person than in writing as I take quite a while to think about what Im going to say and then there's the magic edit button I abuse constantly.
The only other things that comes to mind relating to social skills is that I just dont
feel like I ever fit in. Im being shunned or patronized or just given the 2 min polite treatment. I dont know, maybe it's the bipolar talking, K
Hedge
Good to hear from you, what's going on, are you still having heart problems?
I havent been following the board that close how's your experiment going?
K
Thanks for you imput, I can totally relate to what your saying, yet I find it sad
I find comfort knowing someone else suffers in the same manner as I do. hmmmmm
I sure hope that doesnt fall into the saying missery loves company. : (
I know I do it more so in person than in writing as I take quite a while to think about what Im going to say and then there's the magic edit button I abuse constantly.
The only other things that comes to mind relating to social skills is that I just dont
feel like I ever fit in. Im being shunned or patronized or just given the 2 min polite treatment. I dont know, maybe it's the bipolar talking, K
Hedge
Good to hear from you, what's going on, are you still having heart problems?
I havent been following the board that close how's your experiment going?
K
ManiMe
02-03-2005, 08:48 AM
It's not all that bad (how the heck would I know - as one's perspective is usually limited to one's own experience)...
I kind of "modified" my general personality to allow for my own "weirdness" and the usual range of outside attitudes.
I realized that my hyper-energy can be routed into humor and used to smooth over social anxiety. Laughter is a response to edginess. It is also quite comforting. So, if one loosens one's own fear of judgemental rejection - and risks spontaneous witicisms - then it can help get you and "them" through the rough edges.
It's become such a part of my character, that it thoroughly annoys some people that know me. Most would hesitate to approach a person they haven't ever met - while I'm "out there" cracking jokes to total strangers as if I'd known them for years.
When I'm in public (particularly when my wife isn't around, but even then), I feel like I'm at play. By simply placing a few reasonable limits on the words and subject matter - I just live out a sit-com. It's fun. And most of the people I encounter get a quick smile. Most businesses I go to are amazed - as even the DMV turns into a fun time (for them and me).
So - it isn't totally sad.
It's only the people that are around it too deeply or too often that tend to feel I'm an a-hole (which might be THEIR problem)..... OR those who oppose my ideas and can't stand the jocular rebuttals woven around cogent facts.
I rest assured that IF (for instance) I divorced my wife and somehow got transplanted nearly ANYWHERE on this planet where English is understood - that I'd have a pretty fun time of it and enjoy my social time (for the most part).
So - it's not all that bad. ;)
I'll go with my daughter's observations. She's said - " Gee Daddy, almost everywhere we go, people seem to remember you and smile, and walk up to greet you and seem glad you're there. " I like to think she's right. The folks who are up-tight or think I'm too "out there" are free to be themselves, as well. I just think that the latter make up a small minority. Try not to let things you can't change bother you. It's wasted effort.
I kind of "modified" my general personality to allow for my own "weirdness" and the usual range of outside attitudes.
I realized that my hyper-energy can be routed into humor and used to smooth over social anxiety. Laughter is a response to edginess. It is also quite comforting. So, if one loosens one's own fear of judgemental rejection - and risks spontaneous witicisms - then it can help get you and "them" through the rough edges.
It's become such a part of my character, that it thoroughly annoys some people that know me. Most would hesitate to approach a person they haven't ever met - while I'm "out there" cracking jokes to total strangers as if I'd known them for years.
When I'm in public (particularly when my wife isn't around, but even then), I feel like I'm at play. By simply placing a few reasonable limits on the words and subject matter - I just live out a sit-com. It's fun. And most of the people I encounter get a quick smile. Most businesses I go to are amazed - as even the DMV turns into a fun time (for them and me).
So - it isn't totally sad.
It's only the people that are around it too deeply or too often that tend to feel I'm an a-hole (which might be THEIR problem)..... OR those who oppose my ideas and can't stand the jocular rebuttals woven around cogent facts.
I rest assured that IF (for instance) I divorced my wife and somehow got transplanted nearly ANYWHERE on this planet where English is understood - that I'd have a pretty fun time of it and enjoy my social time (for the most part).
So - it's not all that bad. ;)
I'll go with my daughter's observations. She's said - " Gee Daddy, almost everywhere we go, people seem to remember you and smile, and walk up to greet you and seem glad you're there. " I like to think she's right. The folks who are up-tight or think I'm too "out there" are free to be themselves, as well. I just think that the latter make up a small minority. Try not to let things you can't change bother you. It's wasted effort.
kiehn
02-03-2005, 01:18 PM
Thanks Manime
Words of wisdom, I like you outlook and oh how I love to laugh. Maybe someday I will learn to be more carefree. K
Words of wisdom, I like you outlook and oh how I love to laugh. Maybe someday I will learn to be more carefree. K