Munozchick
02-02-2005, 08:27 PM
Y'all, Im having an awful night. For the past few days I have been a little depressed. THen, tonight Nic and I went out with a friend of his to drink. I didnt have much to drink. Well, the guy we were out with brought up a sore subject between NIc and I. Nic and I got pissed at each other. I decided to call my driver to pick me up so that the argument did not escalate. So, Nic comes home and we get into it even more. He grabbed me and slung my neck around. To add to that, my neck as been hurting me the past couple of days to the point that Nic had to go get some strong muscle relaxers for me. Anyway, he slung my neck around, then he slammed me down. He said he wanted a divorced. I said some mean things, he said some mean things. I dont know what to do. I feel like I have no one to talk to here. I dont know if i should accept the fact that he asked for a divorce or what. I certainly dont want one. Y'all...I have hit rock bottom before. I dont feel like this is rock bottom but I do feel like CRAP. I feel like I want to go to bed and not wake up. He keeps making comments like he should get all the sharp knives out and stuff to make me mad. Being a smartass. Anyway, sorry this is long...I just wanted to vent. I dont expect any replies to this, just wanted to get this all off my chest.
Love,
Deanne
Love,
Deanne
Sponsor
kiehn
02-02-2005, 08:38 PM
Deanne
Im so sorry to hear what you're going thru. This is just my opinion but if my husband
physcally hurt me, we'd either be in counseling or divorced. NO ONE deserves to
be treated like that. I wish I had the wisdom to help you but I dont. I just know
you dont deserve to be treated like that. I sure hope you work things out and find
something to help you depression and get feeling better. Keep posting (((hug to U))))
Im so sorry to hear what you're going thru. This is just my opinion but if my husband
physcally hurt me, we'd either be in counseling or divorced. NO ONE deserves to
be treated like that. I wish I had the wisdom to help you but I dont. I just know
you dont deserve to be treated like that. I sure hope you work things out and find
something to help you depression and get feeling better. Keep posting (((hug to U))))
mudhound
02-02-2005, 10:21 PM
Drinking and BP just do not mix. One will take over and beat the crap out of the other (BP & booze).
Now, it's not right to strike one's wife in anger. However, if one is provoked to a point one may have to defend one's self. Walking away is one of those defenses.
counseling is the prefered way.
Now, it's not right to strike one's wife in anger. However, if one is provoked to a point one may have to defend one's self. Walking away is one of those defenses.
counseling is the prefered way.
princesspea
02-03-2005, 12:09 AM
Deanne,
You didn't think we would let this go by with out reply, did you! When I friend is hurting we're here. Thanks for venting!
I agree with both K and Mud. If this is the first time he has hit you, consuling may be the answer! NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. I realize in your situation counseling can be hard to get though.
I think you did the right thing leaving. You both are under a lot of stress just being there. If I were you I'd just keep turning around and walking out of the room.
Now, I divorced a man for violence. It was more than once. He wouldn't go to consuling or take any blame.
What Mud said about drinking and bp is right on the money, I hate to say.
Are you on any meds right now?
I'm sorry this happened to you. Just know your loved.
Love,
Jamie
You didn't think we would let this go by with out reply, did you! When I friend is hurting we're here. Thanks for venting!
I agree with both K and Mud. If this is the first time he has hit you, consuling may be the answer! NO ONE deserves to be treated like that. I realize in your situation counseling can be hard to get though.
I think you did the right thing leaving. You both are under a lot of stress just being there. If I were you I'd just keep turning around and walking out of the room.
Now, I divorced a man for violence. It was more than once. He wouldn't go to consuling or take any blame.
What Mud said about drinking and bp is right on the money, I hate to say.
Are you on any meds right now?
I'm sorry this happened to you. Just know your loved.
Love,
Jamie
mary50
02-03-2005, 12:15 AM
Get out now....if this is the first time he hurt you physically, he will do it again. This is not Love, it's being a coward.
I hope you open your eyes and get out. Nobody deserves physical or emotional abuse from one's spouse.
I hope you open your eyes and get out. Nobody deserves physical or emotional abuse from one's spouse.
fineanddandy
02-03-2005, 04:33 AM
I'm with Mary. I told my husband before we were married that this was the one area where there were no second chances. If he ever hurt me, or if I were even just afraid that he was going to hurt me, that was it. I'd be gone. It'd be over. End of story. My husband is a very mild-mannered man and I'm sure my saying this was unnecessary, but I wanted to be very clear from the beginning where I stood on the issue.
I suppose if this was the only time you've ever been hurt or been threatened by this guy, you might give him one more chance *IF* he's willing to go to counseling. But, honestly, the statistics aren't pretty. This kind of thing usually always escalates. You need to keep yourself safe!
I suppose if this was the only time you've ever been hurt or been threatened by this guy, you might give him one more chance *IF* he's willing to go to counseling. But, honestly, the statistics aren't pretty. This kind of thing usually always escalates. You need to keep yourself safe!
llmrealestate
02-03-2005, 12:55 PM
Just a mother stepping in here. Two pieces of advice: The best indication of FURTURE behavior is PAST behavior.
and
The first time you're physically hurt in a relationship -- you're a victim.
After the first time - you're a volunteer
and
The first time you're physically hurt in a relationship -- you're a victim.
After the first time - you're a volunteer
Munozchick
02-03-2005, 02:01 PM
Well...Im sober now. My husband and I got into a fight that escalated way too far. He did hurt me last night. He does not beat me. And no, Im not one of those women that is in denial about it. When I have been in an "episode" I have hit HIM before. When I get like that, I tend to provoke things. Im not defending him but am simply saying that I push him sometimes.
I do think that WE need counseling. I dont think that just him going would be a good idea. We're married and need to do this together. This man does everything for me. He is an amazing person for putting up with me.
Last night, i knew before we left that we shouldnt have gone out. I wasn't in a great mood. I wanted to do the compromising thing because he does it all the time. I shouldve listened to my instincts.
I think that on both sides of this relationship, we have some suppressed anger that needs to be talked about.
For him: his sister was murdered by her boyfriend(she was 18), he fought in Iraq for the first 6 months of the war, his dad was gone most of his life.
For me, Im sure y'all understand. I do think that we both need to talk to someone or maybe designate a time each week for us to sit down and talk. I think we need to help each other out with this.
All in all, i think not having my mood stabalizer for 6 months is catching up on me. AND HIM.
I love y'all and dont know what I would do without this board. Thank you so much for helping me through a rough time.
Love,
Deanne
P.S. He should be home from work in an hour and we have planned to talk.
I do think that WE need counseling. I dont think that just him going would be a good idea. We're married and need to do this together. This man does everything for me. He is an amazing person for putting up with me.
Last night, i knew before we left that we shouldnt have gone out. I wasn't in a great mood. I wanted to do the compromising thing because he does it all the time. I shouldve listened to my instincts.
I think that on both sides of this relationship, we have some suppressed anger that needs to be talked about.
For him: his sister was murdered by her boyfriend(she was 18), he fought in Iraq for the first 6 months of the war, his dad was gone most of his life.
For me, Im sure y'all understand. I do think that we both need to talk to someone or maybe designate a time each week for us to sit down and talk. I think we need to help each other out with this.
All in all, i think not having my mood stabalizer for 6 months is catching up on me. AND HIM.
I love y'all and dont know what I would do without this board. Thank you so much for helping me through a rough time.
Love,
Deanne
P.S. He should be home from work in an hour and we have planned to talk.
princesspea
02-04-2005, 04:29 PM
Deanne,
I'm glad this is working out for you. A marriage is a very precious thing. It's especially special when you find someone who understands us.
When I drank and was not medicated I could have teed off the Pope!
I hope you guys can get some consuling...it can't hurt.
I think the sitting down and talking once a week is a great idea! Make a date of it! I love to just talk to my hubby over a cup of coffee with my feet up and slippers on!
Take care sweetheart and don't be a stranger.
Love,
Jamie
I'm glad this is working out for you. A marriage is a very precious thing. It's especially special when you find someone who understands us.
When I drank and was not medicated I could have teed off the Pope!
I hope you guys can get some consuling...it can't hurt.
I think the sitting down and talking once a week is a great idea! Make a date of it! I love to just talk to my hubby over a cup of coffee with my feet up and slippers on!
Take care sweetheart and don't be a stranger.
Love,
Jamie