shadow1972
10-15-2003, 12:20 AM
I am a 31 afro american female who contracted hiv/aids when i was 19yrs from my now ex husband. Until this year, I have not had any serious problems. I go for regulare checkups, take my meds, etc.
This past march i was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2 right breast. I had opted to have a bilateral masectomy with reconstruction. All my lymphs nodes under my right arm where removed also. Test they performed on lymph nodes all came back negative. I was not a candidate for any of the drugs they give females after having breast cancer. My oncologist suggested 4 treatments of chemo therapy. He said there was only 10% chance I would be cured. I opted not to have the chemo for several reasons, my hiv status, and the fact that I cant afford to be out of work anymore and not to loose insurance. My doctor who treats me for the hiv said he understood.
Now just now I had my 6 mos pelvic exam and I was told I hae moderate to severe dysplasia. In april I had one and it came back normal, and all test I have had done in the past 5-6yrs every 6 mos have been normal. Does this have anything to do with the breast cancer? and how can it go from nothing in a matter of 6 mos to severe. I have a coloscopy scheduled.
Even though I have no children and may never have any, even though i would love to(please dont judge me for this) but I want to in as good of health as I can. What are my chances of getting this treating without letting them rip my insides out, which is how I feel. I feel like Im not a whole person as it is, and to have to go through a hysterectomy, right now Im not sure if I can handle this. I am alone, I have no support, or friends to talk to about this.
I feel after 11 yrs of hiv/aids and no major problems, that now my years a very numbered. I havent thought I would die in months since I was diagnosed 11yrs ago. Now I feel my time has come. I feel fine physically, not ******d signs of anything wrong other than the test i have performed. I wouldnt know anything was wrong if I didnt have these checkups, but mentally i know Im not stable. There are days I just want to die and get over this, get rid of all this deppression and loneliness. support groups havent been able to help much, as i cant find anyone who has been through the exact same things only one or two of my problems.
This past march i was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2 right breast. I had opted to have a bilateral masectomy with reconstruction. All my lymphs nodes under my right arm where removed also. Test they performed on lymph nodes all came back negative. I was not a candidate for any of the drugs they give females after having breast cancer. My oncologist suggested 4 treatments of chemo therapy. He said there was only 10% chance I would be cured. I opted not to have the chemo for several reasons, my hiv status, and the fact that I cant afford to be out of work anymore and not to loose insurance. My doctor who treats me for the hiv said he understood.
Now just now I had my 6 mos pelvic exam and I was told I hae moderate to severe dysplasia. In april I had one and it came back normal, and all test I have had done in the past 5-6yrs every 6 mos have been normal. Does this have anything to do with the breast cancer? and how can it go from nothing in a matter of 6 mos to severe. I have a coloscopy scheduled.
Even though I have no children and may never have any, even though i would love to(please dont judge me for this) but I want to in as good of health as I can. What are my chances of getting this treating without letting them rip my insides out, which is how I feel. I feel like Im not a whole person as it is, and to have to go through a hysterectomy, right now Im not sure if I can handle this. I am alone, I have no support, or friends to talk to about this.
I feel after 11 yrs of hiv/aids and no major problems, that now my years a very numbered. I havent thought I would die in months since I was diagnosed 11yrs ago. Now I feel my time has come. I feel fine physically, not ******d signs of anything wrong other than the test i have performed. I wouldnt know anything was wrong if I didnt have these checkups, but mentally i know Im not stable. There are days I just want to die and get over this, get rid of all this deppression and loneliness. support groups havent been able to help much, as i cant find anyone who has been through the exact same things only one or two of my problems.
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kaesle
10-15-2003, 01:42 AM
I am so sorry to hear the pain that you are going through. I wish I could give you a big hug to make you feel better!! While I don't have the same problems as you do, nor to the extent of yours I feel like I can emphasize somewhat.
I have both HSV-2 and HPV (low and high risk) and while these are not fatal, they will remain with me and cause me problems until there are cures. While it is not the same as having HIV or AIDS, I think some of the emotions are similar and I know how painful those emotions can be.
I also have CIN 1, LSIL, and mild dysplasia. They did a colposcopy right away. The exam wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, and the worrying about it was actually the worst part.
I don't know much about breast cancer becuase the lumps I have are fibroids, and the drs. aren't as worried about those as my cervical issues.
I wish I could be of more help but I hope you can gain the support you need and are looking for here on this board. This board if full of wonderful women who are always quick with a "hug", a prayer and lots of warm and friendly smiles :)
Good luck! We are here for you!
I have both HSV-2 and HPV (low and high risk) and while these are not fatal, they will remain with me and cause me problems until there are cures. While it is not the same as having HIV or AIDS, I think some of the emotions are similar and I know how painful those emotions can be.
I also have CIN 1, LSIL, and mild dysplasia. They did a colposcopy right away. The exam wasn't as bad as I expected it to be, and the worrying about it was actually the worst part.
I don't know much about breast cancer becuase the lumps I have are fibroids, and the drs. aren't as worried about those as my cervical issues.
I wish I could be of more help but I hope you can gain the support you need and are looking for here on this board. This board if full of wonderful women who are always quick with a "hug", a prayer and lots of warm and friendly smiles :)
Good luck! We are here for you!