angelfire2003
02-12-2005, 08:15 PM
What does this mean to you?
I just turned 26 and my DH is 30. We have been married over three years. My DH and I very much want to have children, and we are now beginning to discuss a time frame.
I believe we can afford to have a baby, but I am not sure what I think this actually means. (does this make sense?) Please note this is not an argument DH and I are having - we are just trying to consider everything in advance.
Waiting a couple of more years would make more financial sense - but I could also say that for the rest of my life. Hubby and would like to start in the next 6-18months.
Just looking for everyones take on this.....
Thanks :)
I just turned 26 and my DH is 30. We have been married over three years. My DH and I very much want to have children, and we are now beginning to discuss a time frame.
I believe we can afford to have a baby, but I am not sure what I think this actually means. (does this make sense?) Please note this is not an argument DH and I are having - we are just trying to consider everything in advance.
Waiting a couple of more years would make more financial sense - but I could also say that for the rest of my life. Hubby and would like to start in the next 6-18months.
Just looking for everyones take on this.....
Thanks :)
Sponsor
suimont
02-12-2005, 08:21 PM
i dont think you can ever afford a baby because they all cost lots.we had no money with my first he had everything,2nd had everything 3rd had more now ttc no 4 now i have the money but they all had the same .lots of love they never go without.
everyone manages and its worth every penny.
good luck.anna
everyone manages and its worth every penny.
good luck.anna
ladybug8372
02-12-2005, 10:05 PM
very well put suimont!!! couldnt have put it better myself! with my first....unexpected...our total salary was $16,000 a year. imagine that! we managed. My oldest is 14 years old, my youngest is 11 years old. They have NEVER done without anything...you always find a way. I have never understood why people postpone having kids "until they are financially able"---what if that never happens??? Today, we are way better off financially than we were 14 years ago...but no one can predict how "stable" they will become, and when they will become "stable". If you know that you want kids, then just do it! Things fall into place automatically. I look back and wonder how in the heck did we raise a kid on $16,000 a year in the beginning...but we did. We done without some of our wants...but our baby got everything and more. But the most important thing....our kids never went without love. Dont put off having kids because of money.....trust me...everything will fall into place...somehow, it just does!!
angelfire2003
02-12-2005, 10:15 PM
Things fall into place automatically. Dont put off having kids because of money.....trust me...everything will fall into place...somehow, it just does!!
Well I am not sure that is true.
I am not money-obsessed, but money can create so much stress - in life generally. Less stress of this kind will surely create a better environment for the child.
I am not necessarily talking about toys and suchlike.
Not getting personal I very much doubt a child can have "everything" on less than $20k per year.
Of course our child will have love.
Surely part of being a responsible adult and parent is being able to support your child financially without having to rely on others - be it friends, family or the government for financial aid.
Well I am not sure that is true.
I am not money-obsessed, but money can create so much stress - in life generally. Less stress of this kind will surely create a better environment for the child.
I am not necessarily talking about toys and suchlike.
Not getting personal I very much doubt a child can have "everything" on less than $20k per year.
Of course our child will have love.
Surely part of being a responsible adult and parent is being able to support your child financially without having to rely on others - be it friends, family or the government for financial aid.
iwannabeamommy
02-12-2005, 11:26 PM
Well I am not sure that is true.
I am not money-obsessed, but money can create so much stress - in life generally. Less stress of this kind will surely create a better environment for the child.
I am not necessarily talking about toys and suchlike.
Not getting personal I very much doubt a child can have "everything" on less than $20k per year.
Of course our child will have love.
Surely part of being a responsible adult and parent is being able to support your child financially without having to rely on others - be it friends, family or the government for financial aid.
Okay I dont want to be personal either but I think you are thinking the absolute wrong way. These ladies are saying that no matter what money you have you will ALWAYS find a way for your children to have everything that is NECESSARY!! Having everything does not mean everything they want and all the expensive. Also if you put aside your selfishness and your so call "NEEDS" which are more like wants you will be able to give your child everything!! And if you teach your children that they dont need the top of the line $150 pants then you can afford Everything for your child. And if you are teaching them that they do need those than you obviously can afford to have a baby! It all depends if you are going to be able to put aside your comfort in order to take care of you baby!!
I am not money-obsessed, but money can create so much stress - in life generally. Less stress of this kind will surely create a better environment for the child.
I am not necessarily talking about toys and suchlike.
Not getting personal I very much doubt a child can have "everything" on less than $20k per year.
Of course our child will have love.
Surely part of being a responsible adult and parent is being able to support your child financially without having to rely on others - be it friends, family or the government for financial aid.
Okay I dont want to be personal either but I think you are thinking the absolute wrong way. These ladies are saying that no matter what money you have you will ALWAYS find a way for your children to have everything that is NECESSARY!! Having everything does not mean everything they want and all the expensive. Also if you put aside your selfishness and your so call "NEEDS" which are more like wants you will be able to give your child everything!! And if you teach your children that they dont need the top of the line $150 pants then you can afford Everything for your child. And if you are teaching them that they do need those than you obviously can afford to have a baby! It all depends if you are going to be able to put aside your comfort in order to take care of you baby!!
ladybug8372
02-13-2005, 12:03 AM
angefire2003......you must remember that this was 14 years ago....not today...things were cheaper then than it is now....and no...we didnt rely on family, friends, or the government. we made our own sacrifices...done without cable, cell phones, computers, etc. we had the basics...phone, a place to live, power, heat/air, and transportation. my daughter had everything, she didnt do without any necessities, and did not do without toys to say the least. so, yes, it was possible back then to provide necessities as well as "luxuries" for the baby on less than $20,000. she got new clothes...not used ones..from walmart...not expensive places such as Belks, etc. ,some of her necessities were used...bought at yard sales...but ONLY great condition items....we were given a high chair, car seat, and a carrier, as baby shower gifts...her crib and mattress was brand new, of which we bought. i didnt have things such as a changing table...as it was a "luxury item"...we didnt live in a "poor" community...we lived in a decent 2 bedroom townhouse...not luxurious but far from poor...sometimes we charged things...but never made a habit of it...and still dont. if you planned money wisely, and done without some of life's "luxuries"...a person could make it back then...and we did just that. at the time, we had 2 vehicles...a 74 jeep wagoneer...and a new 1990 plymouth sundance.....wasnt a luxury car to say the least...but it was transportation and it was a new one.
money only creates stress if you allow it to. we arent rich by any means...we are middle class...we get by...we struggle even today....but we have far more today than we did back then. we have a 2000 sq ft. house that we built 10 years ago and only owe on it for 10 more years...a 2003 venture van, a 1989 chevy silverado, a 1996 dodge ram, computer, cell phones, cable, nice furniture, we just put in new carpet throughout the house...as well as a new kitchen floor....and the only debt we have is our house payment....aside from the normal power, phones, cable, insurance, etc. my girls are 11 years old and 14 years old....and want for absolutely nothing. They never have...and never will. Regardless of what you believe...my daughter DID have EVERYTHING she needed AND wanted when our income was less than $20,000 a year...and I am VERY proud to say that we did it on our own!! Could we make it today on less than $20,000 a year????...NO...groceries are way higher, gas is out the roof....and everything has pretty much doubled in prices. When we got cable 10 years ago...it was only $24 per month....it is now $50 per month...nothing added, same thing we had back then...the cost just keeps going up! I have $10.00 per month internet service...I dont need to pay anyone $25-$50 to get online...when I can get online for $10 and get great service!! I make sacrifices even today...just so that my girls can continue getting wants and needs. Sometimes I have to tell them no because we cant afford it...but hey...that teaches them that they cant get everything they want just because they ask for it. But, for the most part, they get everything they ask for....may not be when they ask for it...but they do eventually get it.
Some may look at this as a debate...but it is nothing but reality. We did have a baby when our income was less than $20,000...and we made it. We made it on our own...we made sacrifices along the way....and it was well worth it. So, if you want to have a baby but dont feel you make enough money...you cannot "wait" until you make enough money....because odds are....you will never make enough, but also, one never knows WHEN or IF they will get that great job that pays wonderfully. So, I say that if you are happily married, ready to start on a family....go for it...things do fall into place...it did for us, and it can for others, if they are willing to make the right sacrifices.
money only creates stress if you allow it to. we arent rich by any means...we are middle class...we get by...we struggle even today....but we have far more today than we did back then. we have a 2000 sq ft. house that we built 10 years ago and only owe on it for 10 more years...a 2003 venture van, a 1989 chevy silverado, a 1996 dodge ram, computer, cell phones, cable, nice furniture, we just put in new carpet throughout the house...as well as a new kitchen floor....and the only debt we have is our house payment....aside from the normal power, phones, cable, insurance, etc. my girls are 11 years old and 14 years old....and want for absolutely nothing. They never have...and never will. Regardless of what you believe...my daughter DID have EVERYTHING she needed AND wanted when our income was less than $20,000 a year...and I am VERY proud to say that we did it on our own!! Could we make it today on less than $20,000 a year????...NO...groceries are way higher, gas is out the roof....and everything has pretty much doubled in prices. When we got cable 10 years ago...it was only $24 per month....it is now $50 per month...nothing added, same thing we had back then...the cost just keeps going up! I have $10.00 per month internet service...I dont need to pay anyone $25-$50 to get online...when I can get online for $10 and get great service!! I make sacrifices even today...just so that my girls can continue getting wants and needs. Sometimes I have to tell them no because we cant afford it...but hey...that teaches them that they cant get everything they want just because they ask for it. But, for the most part, they get everything they ask for....may not be when they ask for it...but they do eventually get it.
Some may look at this as a debate...but it is nothing but reality. We did have a baby when our income was less than $20,000...and we made it. We made it on our own...we made sacrifices along the way....and it was well worth it. So, if you want to have a baby but dont feel you make enough money...you cannot "wait" until you make enough money....because odds are....you will never make enough, but also, one never knows WHEN or IF they will get that great job that pays wonderfully. So, I say that if you are happily married, ready to start on a family....go for it...things do fall into place...it did for us, and it can for others, if they are willing to make the right sacrifices.
angelfire2003
02-13-2005, 12:28 AM
Okay I dont want to be personal either but I think you are thinking the absolute wrong way. These ladies are saying that no matter what money you have you will ALWAYS find a way for your children to have everything that is NECESSARY!! Having everything does not mean everything they want and all the expensive. Also if you put aside your selfishness and your so call "NEEDS" which are more like wants you will be able to give your child everything!! And if you teach your children that they dont need the top of the line $150 pants then you can afford Everything for your child. And if you are teaching them that they do need those than you obviously can afford to have a baby! It all depends if you are going to be able to put aside your comfort in order to take care of you baby!!
1) I am not selfish
2) When did I say anything about having expensive habits. I live in the NYC metro area - where everything costs a lot.
3) I think the vast majority of people sacrifice for their children on many levels -
I see this post is starting to get personal and that was never my intention.
1) I am not selfish
2) When did I say anything about having expensive habits. I live in the NYC metro area - where everything costs a lot.
3) I think the vast majority of people sacrifice for their children on many levels -
I see this post is starting to get personal and that was never my intention.
angelfire2003
02-13-2005, 12:31 AM
Could we make it today on less than $20,000 a year????...NO....
Please don't take this personally - I appreciate your second post - but you don't owe an explaination.
I was thinking about money in todays terms - and in the area I live, with the expenses I had, this would literally be impossible.
I am simply trying to be a responsible adult, as I prepare to consider when to have a child.
Believe me - money is not my only factor.
Please don't take this personally - I appreciate your second post - but you don't owe an explaination.
I was thinking about money in todays terms - and in the area I live, with the expenses I had, this would literally be impossible.
I am simply trying to be a responsible adult, as I prepare to consider when to have a child.
Believe me - money is not my only factor.
ladybug8372
02-13-2005, 01:12 AM
thanks...i did take it personally at first...but regarding your reply to me, I am not taking it personally now! one would have thought back then, that having a child with a pay of less than $20,000 a year would not be possible..it was, but it wasnt all peaches and cream..but we done it...we done without luxuries...but it was very well worth it. So, you cant really base your financial status as a way of determining when to have a child. It really does just somehow fall into place. its great to be responsible in planning for a child...that is very mature of you to think ahead...i just hate to see anyone postpone such a great thing...just because of finances...because no one can guarantee when/if you will become financially ready and able. I have learned in life...that you cant "plan" anything...cause something ALWAYS happens unexpectantly to set you back. you just do it...and things will work out. if you arent ready (not talking financially) to actually start on a family this year...then dont...but please dont wait on finances to be better..that may or may not ever happen, and you will be missing out on one of the best things that life has to offer. children are miracles, and they are a true blessing. i just wish i could have had more children. which is another reason to not wait......i was diagnosed with endometriosis after my 2nd child was born....that "wonderful" medical problem..has affected my ability to have kids. DH and I have not used protection in 9 years.........point being....had I waited until I was "financially able" or just simply waited so that I could "explore" life and have "fun".....my chance of being a mom would have never happened.....so please....dont take fertility for granted. Fertility is not guaranteed....at any time in a womans life..regardless of whether she has already had kids or not...fertility can be taken away in the blink of an eye. just something for you to think about. good luck.
Regina21
02-13-2005, 03:54 AM
It is costly, but I think if you 2 are in it together before and after the baby is born there's no doubt in my mind that you can make it. Just keep in mind that there's expenses DURING pregnancy as well. I've been to the hospital twice already and with my son on the way in April already...phew* it's adding up to a chunky hospital bill *lol* (thank god for insurance, but it'd be nice if they paid for everything). My mother in law raised 3 children by herself with no support from her ex husband and did an incredible job. She stretched every penny possible and did an amazing job. She sacraficed so much for her kids. So there may come a time when you'll have to wear holy socks and underwear for at least....3 years before you buy anything for yourself. (haha*) Hey, but I woudln't have it any other way, because it's so incredibly worth it.
angelfire2003
02-13-2005, 11:32 AM
So there may come a time when you'll have to wear holy socks and underwear for at least....3 years before you buy anything for yourself. (haha*) Hey, but I woudln't have it any other way, because it's so incredibly worth it.
Well I am trying to avoid that! :)
There are many factors for us to consider - whether we are ready to give up our "couple" ways. We travel a lot - all my family is in England, and I go there about 4 or 5 times a year. Obviously this doesn't come cheap - and I don't want to sacrifice that. My friend recently had a baby and that has shown me that you don't have to completely change your life - you just bring baby along.
The money thing was just one the concerns I had. Of course we would cope - I would just prefer not to struggle if waiting another year would make things easier, and me more ready.
Well I am trying to avoid that! :)
There are many factors for us to consider - whether we are ready to give up our "couple" ways. We travel a lot - all my family is in England, and I go there about 4 or 5 times a year. Obviously this doesn't come cheap - and I don't want to sacrifice that. My friend recently had a baby and that has shown me that you don't have to completely change your life - you just bring baby along.
The money thing was just one the concerns I had. Of course we would cope - I would just prefer not to struggle if waiting another year would make things easier, and me more ready.
lilalegna
02-13-2005, 11:55 AM
hello :wave:
unfortunately i'm afraid i dont have any advice for you :-/
i hope that you and dh are happy and find peace with whatever decision you make :)
good luck to you both!
~LIL
unfortunately i'm afraid i dont have any advice for you :-/
i hope that you and dh are happy and find peace with whatever decision you make :)
good luck to you both!
~LIL
pgta5
02-13-2005, 04:35 PM
This is such an interesting topic and such a pertinent one for today's times. When people are waiting much longer to have babies so that they have financial and job stabilty there is so much to debate about!
We had our first when I was 24/DH was 28. I had just finished college, husband was in college, just bought our first house. We lived month to month! We had a small home, small cars and mediocre things, but we were very happy.
Now planning child no. 2, we are 6 years further down the road..our income is 3 fold but we also have a house that is three fold, cars that are 3 fold and "things" that are 3 fold. I don't know that comparatively speaking our "reserve" income is any greater! It seems that for most (not all) the greater your income the greater your expenditure. It's very easy to want and strive for more! Sometimes "things" become the objective in our lives rather than the outcome!
If we had stayed in our first home, not upgraded our cars and "things" could we better "afford" a child? I wouldn't have to work to maintain our lifestyle. I could stay home w/ my children. I would have to spend about $2500 less a month in childcare/private school. We also have family who lives abroad. We don't travel 5-6 times a year but try to go once a year! With 4 in a family this is a significant expense!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have made a choice to live to a certain "standard" which is comfortable for us. Is it necessary? Absolutely not! But WE chose it and continue to choose it! I think the important thing is never to feel resentful for having children, somehow feeling you have had to make a sacrafice you didn't want to make. You have to decide what you can and cannot live without! I would never want to go without but I would if I had to in order to provide something for my child!
I have a very dear friend who was in her mid-30's when she had her child. Her husband made VERY comfortable salary (3 families could live well on it!). They waited to have a child and unfortunately that child ended up having significant medical issues which were discovered after his 2nd year of life. They spend over $5000 a month in therapy and medical bills. She has a full-time job of MOM. She transports him from medical facility to medical facility! You just never know what can happen and can NEVER plan for something 100 percent! There are always surprises!
I also chose to quit my job as a financial manager and became a teacher, so obviously I'm not looking for how I can make the most money! Anyway, that is my 2 cents! Not meant to judge are offend, just my humble experience!
P
We had our first when I was 24/DH was 28. I had just finished college, husband was in college, just bought our first house. We lived month to month! We had a small home, small cars and mediocre things, but we were very happy.
Now planning child no. 2, we are 6 years further down the road..our income is 3 fold but we also have a house that is three fold, cars that are 3 fold and "things" that are 3 fold. I don't know that comparatively speaking our "reserve" income is any greater! It seems that for most (not all) the greater your income the greater your expenditure. It's very easy to want and strive for more! Sometimes "things" become the objective in our lives rather than the outcome!
If we had stayed in our first home, not upgraded our cars and "things" could we better "afford" a child? I wouldn't have to work to maintain our lifestyle. I could stay home w/ my children. I would have to spend about $2500 less a month in childcare/private school. We also have family who lives abroad. We don't travel 5-6 times a year but try to go once a year! With 4 in a family this is a significant expense!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we have made a choice to live to a certain "standard" which is comfortable for us. Is it necessary? Absolutely not! But WE chose it and continue to choose it! I think the important thing is never to feel resentful for having children, somehow feeling you have had to make a sacrafice you didn't want to make. You have to decide what you can and cannot live without! I would never want to go without but I would if I had to in order to provide something for my child!
I have a very dear friend who was in her mid-30's when she had her child. Her husband made VERY comfortable salary (3 families could live well on it!). They waited to have a child and unfortunately that child ended up having significant medical issues which were discovered after his 2nd year of life. They spend over $5000 a month in therapy and medical bills. She has a full-time job of MOM. She transports him from medical facility to medical facility! You just never know what can happen and can NEVER plan for something 100 percent! There are always surprises!
I also chose to quit my job as a financial manager and became a teacher, so obviously I'm not looking for how I can make the most money! Anyway, that is my 2 cents! Not meant to judge are offend, just my humble experience!
P
laurabelle1317
02-13-2005, 05:10 PM
I know someone in her mid to upper 30's that has been married for ten years. She is still on birth control. I have asked if they are ever planning on having children. She said that she kep waiting for the "best" time to have kids. She wanted to be more financially stable and such. Now they are not making as much money as they used to. She now feels that her opportunity to have children has passed - that she has missed the "best" time. She now realizes that she was more financially ready in the past - she had a great job and they had wonderful insurance. So unfortunately, I don't think they are looking into having children as she feels they have missed the "best" time.
Sometimes you cannot determine the "best" time to have children. The "best" time may never come or you may pass right by it. Therefore, I don't think we can ever determien the best time to have children. I agree with a previous poster that if a husband and wife are desiring a child and have a healthy marriage, then go for it. If you both want it, then it is probably time.
Sometimes you cannot determine the "best" time to have children. The "best" time may never come or you may pass right by it. Therefore, I don't think we can ever determien the best time to have children. I agree with a previous poster that if a husband and wife are desiring a child and have a healthy marriage, then go for it. If you both want it, then it is probably time.
baygirl2004
02-13-2005, 10:00 PM
Money cannot:
**give u instant joy (the way a newborn baby would)
**smile at u when you walk in the room
**or cry when u leave a room
**call u mommy for the first time!
**and so on...and so on
In a world where money seems to rule all - you musn't forget that it is true happiness and peace that makes this whole wild ride here on earth worth while.
You need to look inside and ask yourself... when i was having the same problem as you deciding here is how i looked at it. If something were to happen to your Dh (god forbid) what is it that you would regret the most! Would it be that you didn't take one last trip to england, or you didn't buy that brand new car that you had your eye on OR maybe it would be that you didn't start a family soon enough to be able to have someone to remember your DH by.
Think long and hard as this is a major decision that you musn't regret down the line.
Contrary to belief..money does not make the world go round....LOVE DOES.
Good Luck, Pam
**give u instant joy (the way a newborn baby would)
**smile at u when you walk in the room
**or cry when u leave a room
**call u mommy for the first time!
**and so on...and so on
In a world where money seems to rule all - you musn't forget that it is true happiness and peace that makes this whole wild ride here on earth worth while.
You need to look inside and ask yourself... when i was having the same problem as you deciding here is how i looked at it. If something were to happen to your Dh (god forbid) what is it that you would regret the most! Would it be that you didn't take one last trip to england, or you didn't buy that brand new car that you had your eye on OR maybe it would be that you didn't start a family soon enough to be able to have someone to remember your DH by.
Think long and hard as this is a major decision that you musn't regret down the line.
Contrary to belief..money does not make the world go round....LOVE DOES.
Good Luck, Pam
angelfire2003
02-13-2005, 10:54 PM
Money cannot:
**give u instant joy (the way a newborn baby would)
**smile at u when you walk in the room
**or cry when u leave a room
**call u mommy for the first time!
**and so on...and so on
In a world where money seems to rule all - you musn't forget that it is true happiness and peace that makes this whole wild ride here on earth worth while.
You need to look inside and ask yourself... when i was having the same problem as you deciding here is how i looked at it. If something were to happen to your Dh (god forbid) what is it that you would regret the most! Would it be that you didn't take one last trip to england, or you didn't buy that brand new car that you had your eye on OR maybe it would be that you didn't start a family soon enough to be able to have someone to remember your DH by.
Think long and hard as this is a major decision that you musn't regret down the line.
Contrary to belief..money does not make the world go round....LOVE DOES.
Good Luck, Pam
I really think some people are missing the point of this thread.
My trips to England are irrelevant to this discussion. I take them frequently because there is where I have spend all bar the last three years of my life. I shall continue to do this.
I of course realise there is more important things than money. I am not postponing having a child because of money - no where have I said that.
I can barely be this only person thinking this is an important consideration - as (as someone else pointed out) many many people are waiting until later in life for many reason - including being financially stable.
I would never need a child to remember my husband by - we already have plenty of wonderful memories I could live with. It is because we don't have a child we have just bought our first home. It is because we do not have this responsibility we can do what we want when we want. We are living our lives for us - and in about a year we shall be ready emotionally to have a child. there is more to consider here than money. I am grateful for this time we have together - it has make us even stronger.
Everyone do not be patronising, I of course know love is the most important thing. I moved to another country to be with the man I love. I know how to sacrifice!!!
**give u instant joy (the way a newborn baby would)
**smile at u when you walk in the room
**or cry when u leave a room
**call u mommy for the first time!
**and so on...and so on
In a world where money seems to rule all - you musn't forget that it is true happiness and peace that makes this whole wild ride here on earth worth while.
You need to look inside and ask yourself... when i was having the same problem as you deciding here is how i looked at it. If something were to happen to your Dh (god forbid) what is it that you would regret the most! Would it be that you didn't take one last trip to england, or you didn't buy that brand new car that you had your eye on OR maybe it would be that you didn't start a family soon enough to be able to have someone to remember your DH by.
Think long and hard as this is a major decision that you musn't regret down the line.
Contrary to belief..money does not make the world go round....LOVE DOES.
Good Luck, Pam
I really think some people are missing the point of this thread.
My trips to England are irrelevant to this discussion. I take them frequently because there is where I have spend all bar the last three years of my life. I shall continue to do this.
I of course realise there is more important things than money. I am not postponing having a child because of money - no where have I said that.
I can barely be this only person thinking this is an important consideration - as (as someone else pointed out) many many people are waiting until later in life for many reason - including being financially stable.
I would never need a child to remember my husband by - we already have plenty of wonderful memories I could live with. It is because we don't have a child we have just bought our first home. It is because we do not have this responsibility we can do what we want when we want. We are living our lives for us - and in about a year we shall be ready emotionally to have a child. there is more to consider here than money. I am grateful for this time we have together - it has make us even stronger.
Everyone do not be patronising, I of course know love is the most important thing. I moved to another country to be with the man I love. I know how to sacrifice!!!
singer1
02-13-2005, 11:43 PM
Nothing wrong with waiting! You're still young!!!!
Living4Him
02-14-2005, 03:34 AM
Just something to think about: you are still very young, however, a lot of people put off having children then find out they have a fertility problem. Of course as you get older (30+) your fertility will naturally start to drop off. So if you wait and then find out there is a problem, it may take a while to resolve it, meanwhile you get older. I do not think this would be a problem for you for quite some time, just something to think about. I do believe we should somewhat have our finances in order with goals planned before we have children. However, that means something different for everyone. A child is a wonderful blessing and when they come along you make changes in your lifestyle for them, usually without even thinking about it. I do agree with some of the other posters about love being the most important thing we can give our children. Of course we must provide for their needs, but people today seem to mix up needs and wants quite a bit.
Anyone can give you their opinion and advice, but ultimately it is up to you and your DH to decide what is best for you. I think you are wise for thinking ahead. Once you do have a baby you might look back and wonder why you worried so much! lol. I can't imagine my life without my children. Prayers to you and just go with your heart.
Anyone can give you their opinion and advice, but ultimately it is up to you and your DH to decide what is best for you. I think you are wise for thinking ahead. Once you do have a baby you might look back and wonder why you worried so much! lol. I can't imagine my life without my children. Prayers to you and just go with your heart.
sammieP
02-14-2005, 10:14 AM
I agree, you are still young, if you feel waiting a year will put you 'financially better off' then is it not best to wait?
We have been ttc for a year now, we decided to start now as we feel we are 'living comfortably' i know that as and when we do concieve we may not be as comfortable as we are now, hence why we are trying to save (for rainy days)
I must admit that i know we will struggle, and it will be difficult as dh is trying to set up his own business of which will not take off well to begin with, i am panicking as we may not have the money, but my child will get all the food and nappies etc he/she needs before we have ours!
I feel if you want to wait then you should, dont rush into it, of which obviously you are not as you are discussing possible problems, at least you are concidering everything and not jumping in head first:)
I wish you all the luck.
We have been ttc for a year now, we decided to start now as we feel we are 'living comfortably' i know that as and when we do concieve we may not be as comfortable as we are now, hence why we are trying to save (for rainy days)
I must admit that i know we will struggle, and it will be difficult as dh is trying to set up his own business of which will not take off well to begin with, i am panicking as we may not have the money, but my child will get all the food and nappies etc he/she needs before we have ours!
I feel if you want to wait then you should, dont rush into it, of which obviously you are not as you are discussing possible problems, at least you are concidering everything and not jumping in head first:)
I wish you all the luck.
suimont
02-14-2005, 04:56 PM
only you know if you can affored a baby time of for hosp?off work maybe?b 4 you even start.when you know you will be comfortable to decide without any doubt perhaps.we all have different lives and ways of living, so only you know your lifes needs and what a baby needs r going to be.and whether you can meet those needs at this time in your life or later.i wish you the very best i have 3 lovely kids 15,12 and 6 and they all need different things in life just like us adults.they have all they need and most they would like but it has not been easy.what a lot of advice you have from all diff people.good luck i hope it all helps.best wishes and good u r thinking about things.
bye anna.
bye anna.