There are alot of people that might view this please reply if you can give any advice if you are not a momber join in there are too many views on this post and not enough replys!
My mom is 71yrs old with dx of adenocarcinoma of the rectum with lymph node involvement and at Stage 4. Any of you out there in this boat? What about treatment, is it worth it at her age and stage? The closest thing to major illness in her life was gallbladder surgery and she does not do well in hospital with the IV, ect. She looks at chemo like a antibiotic IV!! She has no clue and does not live in "reality" if she doesnt like it. I am worried about her sufferiing too much and wonder if "NO TREATMENT" would not be a more peaceful and less tramatic death? Remember she is 71 and my dad has alzheimer and I am a patient at lymphoma clinic at MDACC. I cant think past OH MY GOD most of the time here lately. My son is 25 and can not take care of all this and should not have to!!!!!!!!!!!!I worry most of how he will be when we are all dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You may not get any answers, there are rarely posts on this board, cancer in that area usually has a poor prognosis, and Im just glad to hear she has led a full life incase anything does happen. I dont think you should ask on advice on how to let her go, but talk to your brother, talk to her, talk to EVERYONE involve din the family, just to get opinons, and decide together, her desicion is always the most important though so I would go with whatever she says...I wish I could be more help

Hey there,Depressed Guy, thank you foor posting a reply. I do not need advice as much as input to this situation so thanks for your words and caring enough to reply.
I have noticed that this board is real slow and it does not make much since the amount of people that veiw these posts are high in numbers, but not many have or want to say anything, I guess?.....

Well, Im kind fo suprised not many people reply, this is the third leading cause in cancer deaths in the USA. Do you think she can handle the therapy? I've seen many people I cared about go through it, it's very intense for them... Some can't make it in older age, and I've seen some get A LOT better. Never seen it in Colan/rectal cancer... but I did see it in other sceanrios. You should know a lot more than me though, I think you listed having a condition yourself. I had Gallbladder surgery, I had it removed...and if she didn't take that well, I don't know how she will handle chemo... If she wants to continue on and not pass natrually, Go with the chemo, it's not a guarnetee, but a hope at least... but leaving this all on a son would be hard, does he have a wife, family? What's his take on all this?

Thank you Aerosmith for your reply. I have no clue as to why the board is slow but I am on lymphoma board and it is same there too. My mom is a nervous wreck. I just got off phone with her and she is so put out over the time it is taking to get approved to go to MDACC. It is out-of-network for her to go and our first try did not go through, they said that the area drs were qualified to treat my mom's cancer. Those area drs do not want to or do not treat her type of cancer. We saw the only surgeon on this plan and he is a good one buy he said this would be too much for him to handle and the only place to take care of her is MDACC!!! I will be going tomorrow to MDACC for my clinic visit and a biopsy report so I am going to go by her house so I can try to calm her down. I do not see why she is so impatient but maybe she is confused. Being in stage 4, she is as bad as it gets and hurrying to surgery will not save her life, it will make it worse having to get a cholostomy and all. She is 71 and talks as though she will not take the chemo anyway. So with this in mind she should not be so angry over the time it is taking to get appeal process sttarted. She only turned the papperwork in on thursday so you know they will not look at it till monday. That is the way protocal is for this type of situation. The heart of the problem is her being upset over dad and his alzheimer disease, he has not made things very easy lately instead he has been quite a handfull and he has no clue to mom having cancer but he understands that she needs to go to the hospital and keeps briinging her money to pay for it. Our life is a bit difficult and my 25 yr old son is holding his own with it all. He lives there with my parents and is engaged to marry. She goes to U of T at Galveston branch for radiology career. They were waiting till she got out of school to get married. If they marry now it will be a marriage where she only has him on the weekends. He works close to where my parents home is and would be to far to drive if he lived in Galveston. His job is a good one and would not be wise to quit to try to work somewhere around Galveston annd she has a year or so more to go before they would be able to live together on full-time basis. I think they would do just fine to marry now, he is there fri, sat, and sun night with an extra wed night too every now and then. I think he needs her now and I have told him my thoughts on not waitiing with my blessing. Time will tell all, it is the unknown that is so hard! Thanks for you caring reply, gidget/sunshine

intense stress. I hope you are holding up ok... Stage 4, and I dont mean to sadden anyone but I think you know this, holds little to no hope. She doesn't seem to want to go with the chemo. Most the cancer boards around here are slow, and i'm very sorry for the diease you have as well....This all has to be very hard..... I can only imagine from what you say, the amount of stress your dealing with. At her age, and stage into the cancer, and options, this is not seeming to be a save-her-life scenario..as you know, just prolong it as much as possible for her..that's how it almost always is, I belive 5 years post colon cancer yields a 40%-50% survival rate and it drops dramatically after this, especially with things like age. Seems she has her mind made up, I think things should continue as they are, and let time tell as you said... Both of you need some peace, relaxation.. talks, enjoy what you can, and see what and how much help the MDACC can offer... It brings a lot of easiness knowing that your mom has lived a full 71 years.. how old are you by the way? I hope all works out..

I am 46 yrs old. I go to M.D.Andersoon Cancer Center, lymphoma clinic. I got biopsy report today and there is no change in it from last one, he is doing another one on node that has grown from 1cm to 3 cm since my last clinic visit

I really hope good news arrives with the next one.. I know how scarey this can be, you have my support here on are own, empty message board, lol .... Dealing with something as serious as the conditions is very upsetting. Im not much in the way of support because I have not been diagnosed with something chronic and serious like cancer, just short term problems. However, today at the electrophysiologist I received some bad news... Upon looking over my EKG, it seems now that 2 out of my 6 resting EKG's show a prolonged QT interval. This is diagnostic in diagnoising Long QT Syndrome, a often fatal disease of the heart electrical conduction system, it causes sudden, and fast onset of cardiac arrest randomly... However, there is a treatment option if this is verified. implantable cardioverter Defibrillator. Similar to a pacemaker, it applies a shock when you collapse into cardiac arrest similar to the one that they do on your chest in the ER with the paddles.... I'll be fine though in the long run...

Have you found a support group for this condition? It may help, or perhaps a mailing list... I treally helps to find others with the same problem and I'm more than willing to help if you would like to get on one..

Hey there Areosmith, I amm sorry to read of your cardiac trouble, and yes thet have comr along way in the treatment ofheart problems that use to be a ticket to the grave. Good luck and I am sure it will work out for ya just make sure you have a good cardiologist.
If we can ever get my mom's out-of-network approved so she can go to MDACC for an assesment and pallitive care. I am already in pallitive care and the onc makes sure you are comfortable and that is the best treatment when you live in pain caused by cancer. Cancer pain is the worst of all pain.Whaat message board where you refering to? I m on an active lymphoma message board that is very supportive but most are on treatment, I have only met one person that chose to not take chemo and is living their life with the cancer one day at a time. I am in touch with this person but he quit the message board. I would like to corespond with others who are refusing the chemo too. There is little info on what symptoms are in the different stages, everything talks about treatment.

I will check ******* and a few others for people like this and get back to you asap..I know how much easier it is to face when you can talk to others just like you... have a good one and check back for a link...better yet..whats your email address, ill email it because were really not suppose to post links to outside sites here at healthboards..

[as per board guidelines, personal contact information may not be posted. Please do not ask members to violate board guidelines. Only .edu and .gov links may be posted. Thank you, mod3]

[This message has been edited by moderator3 (edited 02-12-2002).]

Hello, My mom died from colorectal cancer. I really think she died from a Morphine overdose, but anything is better than the pain she went through. She had radiation, which was an expensive placebo. She tried shark cartiledge tablets, but didn't keep taking them long enough to see if they really work. My one friend said fresh carrot juice is the answer, but mom wouldn't try it. You have to drink 1 gallon of carrot juice a day. I don't know if it works, but my frient claims it worked for her friend. Mom died at 72. I thin the best thing to do and the hardest thing to do is to make your mom as comfortable as you can....favorite foods, relaxing music, funny TV shows, and prayer.

By now your mum would have either gone ahead with the treatment or declined it. Your mum may still be alive or she may have gone to heaven. I realise the prognosis was not good and offer you my deepest sympathies for your tribulations. I believe in eternal life in God and Christ and that the time we spend on earth is only a small fraction of the life God has in store for us. May God give you peace.
Love
Tek

Thanks for the reply Tek. My mom is stable and has not even been seen by a onc yet. Her supplimental insurance has denied auth twice. The contracted surgeon that she saw is a general surgeon, he does alot of cancer surgerys and after examing her, he said the cancer was too envolved and he could not and would not do the surgery.. He said she must go to an onc surgeon that soes the typr of procedure that she is going to need but insurance said no. The ins said they had qualified doc on contract with them that they would send her to but here it is a month after dx and no onc, there are no onc in the area that have a contract with them. They can see from the reports that she is going to die and all but they do not have to help her die sooner. She may not be able to get cured but she could be made more comfortable by beiing taken care of by the specialist.
Thanks for your kind words of reality. I will be fine. I worked the chemo floor at MDACC for 11 years before taking medical retirement and I saw my share of death and we had to learn then how to deal with it so we could deal with our job. We became very close with all our patients cause we took careof them everyday for months at a time, their rooms were like little apartments. Each patient personalized their own room with curtains for the windows and little lamp with wall hangings ect. It was cool and helped with the month after month stay in that little room...
I see you are froom Australia. My son has had a dream to go there for a visit ever since he was real young and he is 25 and still dreaming to go. I hope he gets his dream for he is a good boy and has been the caretaker of my parrents. My dad and his alzheimer is a hand-full for him and now my mom I feel so sorry for him. When my mom, ada, and myselg all die he will be sole survivor of the family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!That is sad but at least he came out male so he could reproduce and rebuild our family. Take care

My Dad died a year and a half ago from colon cancer at age 75. It was already stage 4 when the mass in his colon was discovered. He went ahead with surgery to remove the mass, followed by clinical trial chemo and then radiation after it had spread beyond his colon and liver to his spine.

Dad lived for 5 months after his diagnosis but never was able to rally after the abdominal surgery. (I only understood later that it would have been far worse to NOT have this done because of the blockage by the tumor of his intestines)

You asked in your first posting whether people felt that treatment is even worth it at that stage... I have to tell you that I wish Dad had stopped after the surgery. BUT.. Life is a funny thing when you're facing the end of your own. Its a very personal decision and I'm hoping that your Mom has been able to face her diagnosis and discuss the options with you.

I would like to share with you though, that Hospice was an absolute Godsend to our family. The diagnosis must be "less than 6 months to live", and they can come to her home and help with those difficult last months. We have a "Hospice House" available in our area and Dad died there, peacefully (thank God for morphine my friends) and we could all be there 24 hours a day with him. Which we were.

Gidget, I really don't know how I got through my Dad's death, I know that I hated having people use the phrase "moving on" (as if one leaves the love for a parent behind)but I do concentrate more on the funny things he said, and the wonderful memories, and delight in every similarity I find in his descendents.
I hope you know that you're not alone - I needed an "Aerosmith22" myself and hope that I can be of a little help too...

Thanks for your reply, sinse last post alot has happened. I had to call the TV station to get mom some help, I am too tired and sick myself and I needed help fighhting foor moms insurance to let her in to cancer hospital here. She starts this monday so aat least she wil get medical attenntion and you are right on how you feel about chemo, "DITTO"
This has to be short for now I am too tired to post,
thanks for caring and your input. I am sorry for your loss and I am sure I will feel it to when we lose mom to the beast. I really feel it is too late for her since she has lymphnode involvement. annd I dont want the end of her life to be sick froom chemo, the surgery will be hard enough on her.