I am becoming more and more annoyed with my GF. I tried not to get into this situation, but somehow I always do.

when begining a relationship i always like to talk to the girl a lot, and they usually do too, like for hours and hours on the phone daily!

well eventually this levels off at some point, with this one at 1 yr. There is absolutely nothing to talk about anymore and we constantly get at each others throat. i like her a lot and she likes me too, but i dont know what to do. its bad enough im in California and shes in New York, so its hard to see her, i only see her about once every 3 months. so i understand her wanting to be on the phone so much, but i think its killing our relationship.

any advice? Thanks, :wave:

I am becoming more and more annoyed with my GF. I tried not to get into this situation, but somehow I always do.

when begining a relationship i always like to talk to the girl a lot, and they usually do too, like for hours and hours on the phone daily!

well eventually this levels off at some point, with this one at 1 yr. There is absolutely nothing to talk about anymore and we constantly get at each others throat. i like her a lot and she likes me too, but i dont know what to do. its bad enough im in California and shes in New York, so its hard to see her, i only see her about once every 3 months. so i understand her wanting to be on the phone so much, but i think its killing our relationship.

any advice? Thanks, :wave:

Hmmmm....you only see each other every three months, you live in sunny, beautiful, star-studded CA, and she lived in hustlin' bustlin' New York, and you have nothing to talk about? This would be a problem even if you lived in the same state and did all your talking in person. You say you like her a lot, but after a year, like a lot may not be enough to sustain a relationship, even when you get to see each other every day. Do you love her? This may be the problem. Could it be you're just not that into her? Does she still want to talk on the phone for literally hours and hours every single day? Like, from when you get home, through the dinner hour and up to the time you go to bed, every day, you're on the phone with her? If so, I can understand why you wouldn't want to be on the phone with anyone for that long, no matter how much you loved them. Or is it that she just wants to talk more than you do? If you no longer have the passion for her to want to talk to her, and you dont' really miss her all that much, and you don't have any immediate plans to be in the same state, then perhaps it's time to consider whether you really want to still be in this relationship.

yes i do. and i love her a lot.

its just too much talking.

my drive has to consist of me talking to her on the phone.
my drive back home consists of me talking to her, till i walk in the house.
when i walk in and after greeting the parentals i proceed to talk to her till
dinner. then after dinner i talk to her, till its time to sleep.

i think ive talked about everything there is to talk about in the world. it ends up being a situation where we are both quiet on the phone, and i get frustrated because i dont want to be on the phone saying nothing.

i dont want to break up with her, i like her a lot, any other resolutions?

Thanks

How did the two of you meet that there is such a space barrier here? It's only natural that most guys dont enjoy long convo's on the phone. They like it short and sweet.

I think you just need to be honest with her. Tell her you dont like calling her to listen to silence on your way to and from work ect...Maybe limit it to a nightly call or if you would like more of that and good morning and a goodnight call. Gives you more of something to talk about if you let the day pass w/out talking 24/7.

Let her know you love her and dont want to lose her like you mentioned on here. Just that every free moment doesnt need to be spent over the phone...Good luck!

hey THANKS!!!

You know, my husband (bf at the time) moved to CA and I was in MO. Every night for three months we talked but we got to the point where irritation would set in too, and that was just after three months. WE did see each other every month though, and then I moved there. We loved each other but sometimes talking isn't what a relationship is about-you have to have those silences and that is okay. Sometimes we'd sit there and not say a word for a couple of mins. Finally one would say, sorry, I have nothing to say right now! and we'd hang up. I would get cranky b/c we'd talk after work and I was worked up from that and had not gotten to unwind yet so I'd get short with him. I think it is okay, maybe you two need to set up a new phone schedule. BUT, hubby and I had lived together for six months before he moved and even had been engaged, and we broke it off. His move to CA was supposed to help us decided if we really wanted to be with each other. Well, our two year anniversary is in June. I did post a sad thread last night about being afraid of the D word or if he and I should split but that was yesterday and a whole different story. I say, talk it out (no pun intended) and if you two love each other, fix it. Communication is key, don't forget that.
Good luck and best wishes. You are both very dedicated to be so far away.

Hey thanks for the helpful responses!