I'm wondering if there are any parents out there who have young children with ADHD and depression. My son, who has done well on meds and in school, has become very angry lately. He's been teased a lot about being gay, and we've always tried to be supportive. But lately it seems that he's so angry at me (his mom) about everything. He's changed into this angry, critical pre-teen. He was diagnosed with depression last week and he's started therapy with a great psychologist and we're doing everything we can. Any ideas or people with advice?

This is a new one on me so any info would help.

Some meds cause anger issues. My son (13) takes 30mg of regular Adderall and has developed more of an angry tone when 'coming down' which is usually from about 4:30 to 5:30. After dinner he is fine usually. He has had his issues with bullies but his ADD is not the reason. You would not know he had ADD - probably because there's no 'H' - he is not hyperactive. He is the inattentive type so the meds really help him focus on his school work and he made honor roll this quarter! Well, for a while he was walking around really moody and I found out that he was getting picked on by a group of 4 boys - 2 of which he thought were his friends! I gave him ways to deal with it depending on the situation because he did not want me to get involved. I thought it was just name-calling and then one day he came home from school and told me that one of the boys (who sits at his lunch table!) threatened to have two 8th graders beat him up if he touched one of the other boys in that group. These boys are in 7th grade. My son told me that the 8th graders were the biggest kids in school. So I got involved. I told him, when you get threatened with physical violence, I have to get involved. He seemed so relieved! So a lot of what your son is experiencing is the effects of the bullying. If he is on meds, then that contributes too. Having the underlying conditions are no help in mood disposition either. Don't you just want to 'smack' everyone who is mean to him?! Sorry, had to vent. The assistant principal handled the situation so well in fact that my son is inviting the boy who threatened him to his birthday party and sleepover!

I'll be here if you have more specific questions. Take care

Hi:)

My daughter has also been going through a bit of depression. I'm not sure if it is school or the medication. I took her off of Adderral because I thought it was that making her feel this way, but she is still down. She does have problems in school with teasing sometimes. She pretty much hates school right now. She is 15 years old, so I'm not sure what is going on with her. It could be so many things that I am stumped. Her grandmother also passed away about 6 months ago and she was close to her. See what I mean? I guess it could be a combination of things going on.

I'm not sure what to tell you to do, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this. I am thinking about bringing her to a "life couch" as they call it. I just need to find one in my area. Maybe you can consider doing the same thing? I hope something works for all of us.

Chantel

My doctor almost insisted that my son since being treated for ADD be seen by a counselor. He has had three appointments and she has helped him deal with issues and situations by offering unbiased opinions and actions he can take to make the situations better.

Just recently he was being bullied at school and didn't want me to get involved. I was lucky enough to have him tell me what was going on. Usually we talk like this just before he goes to sleep. If I'm quiet long enough (hard to do lol), he will just start talking about his day. I never nag or judge him on what's he's saying. I had to get involved with the school when a kid threatened to have two older kids beat up my son. I was able to approach it in a way that it didn't look like he 'ran to mommy' and the principal also was great in getting the kids past this. The crazy part is my son thought this boy and he were friends. They are both drummers in the band, have drumsets and take private lessons, eat at the same lunch table. Weird! But it has been a long time since I've gone to school. There was an article in our paper about bullying and it has changed and gotten more aggressive and hurtful - mentally as well as physically. Anyway, now my son has invited this 'bully' to his birthday party and to a sleepover.

Here's the difference on me and my husband's approach to this bully issue: I gave my son different ways he could deal with it since he didn't want me to do anything - at the time it was just name-calling. Once he got threatened though, I told him I had to contact the principal. He seemed so relieved and actually seemed much happier that day than he had been in a week. When I told my husband - the first thing out of his mouth was ' what did he do to instigate this?'

So, after all that, I would say to both of you to bring your children to a counselor. Treating ADD/ADHD, especially if depression is involved, is more than just medicine.

Thanks for all of the advice. The school is definately involved with the bullying issue, which helps a lot. And he is seeing a Counselor for the depression. I think I may start to take a look at WHEN he is exhibiting more anger. It might possibly be when he is coming down from the concerta. He really likes his therapist, and they've started working through a lot of issues. It's nice to know I'm not the only parent who has these difficulties.
Thanks

My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task :). I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.

Perhaps it's normal for teens and preteens to be angry when there body's are changing so much. There is an old quote about this being normal. Our 13 y/o hates me : ( They do need extra sleep and will stay up abnormaly late which can add to the anger when over tired. If anyone has an answer to this...please let us know...does everyone remember being that age? I hated my parents too at that age...and was truly embarrassed to be seen w/ them. This does not make it any easier to be living in the same house w/ an angry preteen or teenager. We just remind ours that we love him anyways. Any professional pediatricians w/ feedback on this would be greatly appreciated.

I'm wondering if there are any parents out there who have young children with ADHD and depression. My son, who has done well on meds and in school, has become very angry lately. He's been teased a lot about being gay, and we've always tried to be supportive. But lately it seems that he's so angry at me (his mom) about everything. He's changed into this angry, critical pre-teen. He was diagnosed with depression last week and he's started therapy with a great psychologist and we're doing everything we can. Any ideas or people with advice?

This is a new one on me so any info would help.

There has been a link recently established in studies between use of amphetamine medications and the eventual development of depression.

Also, kids sure can be cruel. Some people don't teach their kids respect and manners at all, what a shame. Thankfully, they won't be around him his whole life so they really are insignificant people as far as he should be concerned, other than making sure no physical violence takes place while he's still in school...

My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task :). I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.

Emotional lability and mood changes are listed side effects and can develop over time. It's really funny that your doctor wanted to put him on an antidepressant because Strattera is alot like Wellbutrin, which is an antidepressant! Strattera and Wellbutrin both are norepinphrine reuptake inhibitors; norepinphrine is basically adrenaline.

I think you made the right choice, and look at the good results! Develpment of depression is a possiblity after long term use of amphetamines according to a new study, so these stories are not far fetched by any means...

Sawbuck:)

What a great story:) I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Kids can be very cruel these days. I too sit down with my daughter and tell her different ways to handle the teasing. I've also had to contact her principle too. We are talking about putting her back in private school again because she didn't have any of these issues there. They don't tolerate any of this at this private school. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her feel better. This teasing has such a tole on her self asteem. She did so much better in private school. The only reason I put her back in public school was because she missed her friends. I'm not sure what to do now.

Anyway, thanks again for the information. I will definitely look into some counseling.

Chantel

My ten year old son was on Strattera for almost two years and was doing very well up until the last six months. He too seemed so depressed, was angry and had these emotional outbursts. I felt it was the medication but his doctor said Strattera did not cause that, he felt he was depressed and wanted to put him on an anti depressant along with the Strattera. I couldn't do it. We took him off the Strattera and within ONE DAY his mood was better. I couldn't believe it, his smile was back and within a few days I heard him "belly laugh" just a beautiful wonderful laugh! He has been med free since Christmas time and is doing wonderful. His impulsiveness is definately back but he seems to be holding his own with schoolwork, his teacher says she thinks he is actually doing better, that he seems happier. Home life and friends are still a bit of a struggle but he seems to be doing so much better. We are back to getting "behavior sheets" from school, but only two since Christmas. It was the most difficult decision to make to put him on the medication and maybe just as difficult was the decision to take him off, but we are all so much happier. We are trying to learn to accept his impulsiveness and forgetfulness and deal with him without the anger (our anger not his....not always an easy task :). I believe medication works for adhd and some kids need it to function well but I'm not sure when they start having side effects if it is still the most beneficial solution. The whole idea of medicating more to take away the side effects of one medication is a scary scary thing. This board saved my sanity many times it's great that we parents have some place to come and get "real" info about other people in our same situations. Good luck to you I hope this info helps.



I totally agree with you on taking him off the meds. I am so glad you didn't agree to put him on an anti depressive too. What a mixture that would of been! Yikes! I am going to continue to try the straterra and see where my daughter and I gets. She told me today that it is helping her so much with remembering. She also had a "test" with her friends and she did not act on it, which I'm so proud of her for. They were basically caught smoking in the bathroom and she wasn't smoking, which made me very happy. She is still a little tired and slightly moody, but it is just 2 and 1/2 weeks into it so I will give it a little while longer.

I'm so glad your son is doing good:)

Chantel

Sawbuck:)

What a great story:) I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Kids can be very cruel these days. I too sit down with my daughter and tell her different ways to handle the teasing. I've also had to contact her principle too. We are talking about putting her back in private school again because she didn't have any of these issues there. They don't tolerate any of this at this private school. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her feel better. This teasing has such a tole on her self asteem. She did so much better in private school. The only reason I put her back in public school was because she missed her friends. I'm not sure what to do now.

Anyway, thanks again for the information. I will definitely look into some counseling.

Chantel

If you can put her in again, (I know it's expensive), the private school sounds like a great idea. Kids diagnoised with ADD or ADHD seem to be targets for the bullies in school. Sometimes the public school system fails to address this sort of thing. What I liked about my children's high school is they had an alternative school down the street for the "unruly" or unproductive kids. The school didn't have any of the fun activities or programs the regular high school did and was more strict. Most kids did not want to go there, so there was incentive to behave themselves.

I never heard of this before, but it was a good idea I think. THey also had intervention type programs that helped students work out problems with each other. As a result, their high school was very highly rated despite the fact it was just a public school, nothing fancy.

But without such a system, I imagine most public schools don't provide much help in the area of bullies. Private school is a good way to go if you can!

Keep up the good work; from what I've seen you post, your daughter is lucky to have a mom working so hard to help her!

If you can put her in again, (I know it's expensive), the private school sounds like a great idea. Kids diagnoised with ADD or ADHD seem to be targets for the bullies in school. Sometimes the public school system fails to address this sort of thing. What I liked about my children's high school is they had an alternative school down the street for the "unruly" or unproductive kids. The school didn't have any of the fun activities or programs the regular high school did and was more strict. Most kids did not want to go there, so there was incentive to behave themselves.

I never heard of this before, but it was a good idea I think. THey also had intervention type programs that helped students work out problems with each other. As a result, their high school was very highly rated despite the fact it was just a public school, nothing fancy.

But without such a system, I imagine most public schools don't provide much help in the area of bullies. Private school is a good way to go if you can!

Keep up the good work; from what I've seen you post, your daughter is lucky to have a mom working so hard to help her!


Jennita,

Thank you for the kind words. It really encouraged me because sometimes I feel like I've failed. I feel like I always have the answers and lately, I don't have any. I know I will never give up, that is definitely not me. I will keep on keeping on.

You were very lucky to have a public school that was so into the kids. Where I live, highschool is so crowded that it's basically impossible for them to deal which each kid idividually. She wanted to try out the public school, so I gave her a shot, but things are just too stressful right now.....for all of us. I think I will be giving the private school a call again and see what I have to do to get her in. I enjoyed her going there because they didn't have a lot of kids and like I mentioned before, they don't tolerate misbehaving. They also give random drug tests. And if an argument starts, they make the kids either write a note to each other apologizing or make them talk it out, which I think is wonderful. I do think I am leaning more towards private school this year.

Chantel

Jennita,

Thank you for the kind words. It really encouraged me because sometimes I feel like I've failed. I feel like I always have the answers and lately, I don't have any. I know I will never give up, that is definitely not me. I will keep on keeping on.

You were very lucky to have a public school that was so into the kids. Where I live, highschool is so crowded that it's basically impossible for them to deal which each kid idividually. She wanted to try out the public school, so I gave her a shot, but things are just too stressful right now.....for all of us. I think I will be giving the private school a call again and see what I have to do to get her in. I enjoyed her going there because they didn't have a lot of kids and like I mentioned before, they don't tolerate misbehaving. They also give random drug tests. And if an argument starts, they make the kids either write a note to each other apologizing or make them talk it out, which I think is wonderful. I do think I am leaning more towards private school this year.

Chantel

Private school really sounds great. Best wishes for your daughter and you!

Chantel,

By virtue of our having relocated to Europe, my kids are in a private school for the first time in their lives. Socially, it has been a godsend for my 14yo severely ADHD son. It's wonderful how much easier it is for him to make friends in a school of 550 (grades K-12) than it was in a school of 2500 junior high kids. My 11yo ADD-inattentive son has done fine socially in either environment.

Honestly, though, I can't say that they are doing any better academically. One caveat that you need to be aware of in considering the switch to private schools is that private schools, unlike public schools, are not legally bound to make accomodations for disabled students (like those with ADD). So, if your daughter has been receiving any special services or accomodations, be aware that a private school may not be willing to offer that. Just something for you to check into before making the change.

Good luck to you and your daughter!

Chantel,

By virtue of our having relocated to Europe, my kids are in a private school for the first time in their lives. Socially, it has been a godsend for my 14yo severely ADHD son. It's wonderful how much easier it is for him to make friends in a school of 550 (grades K-12) than it was in a school of 2500 junior high kids. My 11yo ADD-inattentive son has done fine socially in either environment.

Honestly, though, I can't say that they are doing any better academically. One caveat that you need to be aware of in considering the switch to private schools is that private schools, unlike public schools, are not legally bound to make accomodations for disabled students (like those with ADD). So, if your daughter has been receiving any special services or accomodations, be aware that a private school may not be willing to offer that. Just something for you to check into before making the change.

Good luck to you and your daughter!


Hi Index:)

Thank you for your suggestions. My daughter was actually in this private school last year and they did give her a few accomodations because of her ADHD. It also was a little harder for her too, but I think it kept her on her toes. It gave her more to do. I'm going to talk with her again today and see what she says about it all. Of course it will be my decision, but I want her to want to go back there too. Last year when she went there, she had a lot of marks for forgetting, so if she does go back we will have to work on that. She needs to be on some type of schedual. Anyone here know of anything that can help children with this not forget so much?

Chantel

What exactly does she have trouble with forgetting?

What exactly does she have trouble with forgetting?


I guess I was not experienced enough to know that I should have had her on some type of schedual. At home, if I tell her to do like 3 things, she basically forgets the last thing. At school, she was forgetting to turn in extra point papers that her teacher made them do every month. I don't know, maybe I can write a note and stick it somewhere for her? I have two children and they are both bad at forgetting and it is hard for me to remember what I have to do let alone both of them too, lol. Sometimes I feel like my head is spinning.

For my youngest daughter, she gets reminder notes from school because she is only 10, so that helps me out a little. I usually just tack them on the icebox or on my mirror in my bathroom where I know I will see them.

Oh another thing I forgot. She has to wear an ID to school and she sometimes forgets to bring it or put it on. They get marks for that too and sometimes detention:( I know she should be a responsible adult.....BUT, sometimes these rules just drive me crazy. I wish the teachers were more into teaching her then worrying about these little things.

Chantel

Oh, I can sooo relate to what you are going through! At the age of 14, my son still can't follow sequential directions (at home or school). Seldom does he get 2 out of 3 directions; it's usually only the first that he successfully completes. It's frustrating for everyone involved.

We "live better with post-it notes" at our house. I quite often have reminders of things to take to school on the front door and I've put them on the inside of my son's binder to remind him of things to turn in. That's usually done when it's something that's already a day late. I've even encouraged him to write it on his hand if it's something *really* important!

"Z's Mom" has written some excellent posts about the importance of kids taking the responsibility for things like this. She encourages us-Moms to back off and I think she makes some very valid points. So, I guess we should give our kids the post-it notes and encourage them to write them for themselves & put them where THEY will see them.

Chantel, I broke this into 2 posts so it wouldn't be so long.

Does your daughter have an IEP or a 504 plan at her school? If so, I would be up at that school raising *holy hell*about sending her to detention for forgetting her ID! I would use the words that "she is being punished for her disability". That gets their attention because it reeks of lawsuit. Because the school knows of my son's ADD (it wouldn't be possible for them not to know, unfortunately), there is no way in hell that I'd let them send him to detention for something as insignificant as that!

Yes, they have to learn responsibility but sending them to detention for their forgetfulness isn't going to help, IMHO.

Oh, I can sooo relate to what you are going through! At the age of 14, my son still can't follow sequential directions (at home or school). Seldom does he get 2 out of 3 directions; it's usually only the first that he successfully completes. It's frustrating for everyone involved.

We "live better with post-it notes" at our house. I quite often have reminders of things to take to school on the front door and I've put them on the inside of my son's binder to remind him of things to turn in. That's usually done when it's something that's already a day late. I've even encouraged him to write it on his hand if it's something *really* important!

"Z's Mom" has written some excellent posts about the importance of kids taking the responsibility for things like this. She encourages us-Moms to back off and I think she makes some very valid points. So, I guess we should give our kids the post-it notes and encourage them to write them for themselves & put them where THEY will see them.

My son and I both can live thanks to post it notes and dry erase boards... :D

Oh, I can sooo relate to what you are going through! At the age of 14, my son still can't follow sequential directions (at home or school). Seldom does he get 2 out of 3 directions; it's usually only the first that he successfully completes. It's frustrating for everyone involved.

We "live better with post-it notes" at our house. I quite often have reminders of things to take to school on the front door and I've put them on the inside of my son's binder to remind him of things to turn in. That's usually done when it's something that's already a day late. I've even encouraged him to write it on his hand if it's something *really* important!

"Z's Mom" has written some excellent posts about the importance of kids taking the responsibility for things like this. She encourages us-Moms to back off and I think she makes some very valid points. So, I guess we should give our kids the post-it notes and encourage them to write them for themselves & put them where THEY will see them.


Hi again:)

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. I forget myself and I don't have ADHD/ADD. Can you imagine what they go through?

Post-it-notes is a great idea! I think I will start doing that from now on.....if I remember myself, LOL. I tell you, it can be so overwhelming at times.

I don't think I've read Z's posts, but I will surely look for them. Any help would be very much appreciated.

Chantel

Chantel, I broke this into 2 posts so it wouldn't be so long.

Does your daughter have an IEP or a 504 plan at her school? If so, I would be up at that school raising *holy hell*about sending her to detention for forgetting her ID! I would use the words that "she is being punished for her disability". That gets their attention because it reeks of lawsuit. Because the school knows of my son's ADD (it wouldn't be possible for them not to know, unfortunately), there is no way in hell that I'd let them send him to detention for something as insignificant as that!

Yes, they have to learn responsibility but sending them to detention for their forgetfulness isn't going to help, IMHO.


My daughter is on the 504 plan at school, but I don't think most of the teachers follow it. It's like battling with a wall. I do try as hard as I can, but I'm fighting right now with my thyroid and some other conditions, so sometimes it's a little hard for me. I did hollar and scream at the vice principle(which I shouldn't have done), and they did let her go in her Geometry class so that she wouldn't get behind, but she still missed other classes. They said that the teacher told her to put in on and a few minutes later she didn't have it on so they figured she was doing it on purpose. I don't think she would have done it on purpose because I know how much my daughter forgets. Most of the teachers at her school just blow me off when I tell them she has ADHD. I'm just so tired of having to fight you know? I am trying to put her back in private school next year. I'm hoping it helps her a little. She can have more of a one on one with the teachers since there isn't that many children.

Does your son have problems making and keeping friends?

Chantel

Gosh, I felt like I was reading something I posted. I have a 12 yr old son who gets teased all the time too. He is always being called gay, etc...He has been on ritulin for years off and on and just started Concerta. The last couple yrs though, he has gotten really moody and mean. I feel like he hates me too. So the doctor put him on Prozac. The Prozac is great. He seems more mellow and happy. He actually wants to talk and doesnt bite my head off if I ask him a question. I dont know about the Concerta cause we just started. But hopefully its a good combo.

Sawbuck:)

What a great story:) I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Kids can be very cruel these days. I too sit down with my daughter and tell her different ways to handle the teasing. I've also had to contact her principle too. We are talking about putting her back in private school again because she didn't have any of these issues there. They don't tolerate any of this at this private school. I told her that I would do whatever it took to make her feel better. This teasing has such a tole on her self asteem. She did so much better in private school. The only reason I put her back in public school was because she missed her friends. I'm not sure what to do now.

Anyway, thanks again for the information. I will definitely look into some counseling.

Chantel

I was telling my oldest son (15) how bad I felt that his brother was still dealing with kids who were mean. Example, at the lunch table in school one kid said that my son and one other kid had to leave the table so two others could sit there. Then the person who said this actually took 4 other kids from that table and sat at a new table leaving my son and friend. Well, my oldest told me that his brother needed to learn how to 'cope' with it. I never put that word to the situation before. I always told him how to deal with it and actually the night before I told him that he needed to get his own table going and act like nothing was wrong - still be friends with the kids who left the table too. A means of 'coping.'

Well, he got home from school that day and couldn't wait to tell me what happened. He said to his friend 'we need to get more guys sitting here.' So they got 5 more kids and one of them was from the 'group' that had been teasing my son! The next thing my son knows is the kid who initially told him to leave - invited him to his birthday party! I had to say it to my son, but I didn't want to make him feel bad, but I asked him 'are you sure he wants you to go or does he just want you there so they can all pick on you?' He said that everybody was doing okay and he wasn't worried. He did decide not to go though because it is a sleepover and he has another party to go to the next day (paintball - yea). The last birthday sleepover he went to (the week before) the boys stayed up all night! My son said he went to sleep at 4am and woke up at 7:30am! He fell asleep almost immediately when he got home and sat down at about 2pm the next day! Oh, I'm going on and on. Tired, sick and chatty.

Guess my main point is in dealing with bullying, you have to have a few quick 'maneuvers' and try acting like it doesn't bother you. I'll shut up now. This isn't the place to rattle on. sorry

Hi hun:)

I'm glad that those mean kids are now getting along with your son. Lately, my daughter hasn't been hearing anything either, but she did tell me that she got fed up and actually told a few of them off. I try to keep her from doing that, but I guess for her, enough was enough. I think they were all shocked by her reaction because they have been leaving her alone.

It's really sad too because my daughter is so outgoing. She is really fun to be around and makes me laugh so much. She can come up with some crazy stuff sometimes. When we go somewhere together, you can bet we will have a good time. I guess those kids are just missing out on having a good friend.

Chantel