Hey Everyone,

Hope all are well and fighting hard!

It's been a while since I posted, so I thought I update you all. I stopped Hydro December 22, and started Suboxone December 23. It has been 28 days without Suboxone. The hardest were the first 7, and it got easier from there.

Life slowly returns to normal. Sleep is better, though I still think about Norco daily (several times a day)

Visited my mom's (who's had three hand surgeries since Christmas) --She has a really nice bottle of diloduid (hydromorphone). That she, ironicaly, refuses to take, cause it makes her feel high! Wish I got that gene....

Anyway, The first time I went up to visit her, I actually went with the intention of finding her pills, and taking a few..You know--just to sample.

Well I couldn't find the bottle, Thank God! I did feel guilty about the pretense of the visit, but not any more. After I couldn't find them we talked for a few hours, and I left feeling better NOT finding them, and spent the time talking with my mom.

I went up again. This time, I found the bottle, was very, very tempted, but didn't take any. Same thing last time. Except I told her if she wasn't taking it anymore that she should flush it. She did.

Otherwise I may have visited more often, and well...who knows.

So the temptation is still there, I guess it always will be. But I won't go down without a fight!

Anyone thinking about Suboxone to taper off opiates, should seriously consider it. It got me clean with relatively minimal w/d symptoms. I did a short fast taper.

Physically I feel fine, except for all the weight I've gained since I stopped Norco--trying to work on that...

Mentally, I am challenged daily. Anxiety/panic/depression, have reared their ugly heads, but I continue to fight with the help of a good therapist, AA meetings, and this board.

See 'yall

I recently started suboxone for maintenance. I have chronic headaches and neck&back pain from numerous car wrecks so I see maintenance as my only option. I think sub is a good drug and it has helped me a lot better than methadone did. I think meth is too close to a real drug to do any good on. Seems like I allways want more. I am really suprised I was able to responsibly take the sub, I figured I would eat em all up in a day or 2 but I didnt. Actually it is the first controlled substance prescription I have ever taken as directed.
I know what you mean about raiding medicine from family and friends. I used to be an expert on that and slick too. Still though when I am at a relatives house or a friends I cant help to look at the bottles of pills just to see what they are. Dont get me wrong, I dont raid no more but I do have to fight the urge. I have raided med cabinets since I was 14. I had a pest control job once and used to raid on a daily basis. From doing that I had to keep up with all the new stuff and generic names. I know all knds of pills and cough syrups that have hydro or oxy in it.lol I dont think that is nothing to be proud of but you do know what I mean. Ya see!, I got on that subject and look what happened. lol. Nice to hear from someone who is truly clean. A lot of people on Sub or Meth consider themselves to be clean and sober but I dont believe I am clean cause I am still on a drug. That is the main reason I havent went to any NA meetings because I dont wanna be a liar and a hippocrit. I am not saying everybody on maintenace that goes to meetings and says they are sober are liars, I am just saying I would feel like one. Although I do feel a lot better and the madness is over, I just think of myself as medicated,, Sorry for the long post Good Luck!

hey nexcare...haven't heard from you in awhile. You sound very well. So it sounds like you were "tested" a bit at your mother's house???? Well you passed with flying colors!!! Good job!!! All that hard work is finally paying off. What a good idea to have your mom flush em if she wasn't gonna take them too!!! You know if she didn't do that, it would always be in the back of your head that they were there, and it would only be a matter of time before you were taking them. Good job!!!!
Tell me how the sub. taper went??? I am just curious if it is more difficult than vike or perc w/d....
Keep fighting those urges, AA or NA IS the way to go to get thru this. My husband hates me going to meetings now, he says they are brain washers and they are turning me against him.... I feel it has saved my life, along with this board. I really don't know anyone that has made it out of opiate addiction w/out some sort of support system.
Well it was good to hear from you....keep up the good work, I love to hear success stories, find it very comforting.
Keep poppin' in when you find time......
luv,
LISA

Jon,
I'm not an avid NA/AA followerer so my comments are strictly my own personal belief............pardon me but I feel compelled to differ with you. Granted, you are taking a drug, but with the most responsible of reasons. Like you said it is probably the only controled drug you have ever taken as directed, comparing it to methadone being close to a "REAL" drug. I had severe abdominal pain and went to ER about 2 1/2 years ago long before I had heard that it was being used to help control opiate addiction and was given a shot of Buphrenex and believe me in it's original state that is the bestest highest I've been in a very very long time. I've taken hydros for alot of years so the buzz is nonexistent anymore......it just makes it possible for me to function normally(thats what I tell myself) I believe that I understood that you have chronic pain as well, when you say maintenence are you talking long term..........are you planning to take it for pain relief? or just to help you to get away from your DOC

Back to my original point..........not agreeing with your clean/unclean issue.......your system may be tainted with the sub, allowing you to feel normal without the the depression that goes along with trying to stay away from the codones..........but Jon your heart is as clean as they come. Again I'm not a big NA/AA person but I can't see that you should feel like a liar or hippocrite, this is apples/oranges to me what you are doing is a good thing a very good and responsible thing and if they are as nonjudgemental and forgiving as I always thought they won't see you as a liar or hippocrite either.

Good luck and I hope that you continue to do well and please lighten up on yourself I think that you are doing great.
Marilyn