i think it's definitely normal to feel a little "desperate" when you're ttc. my dh and i have been ttc for about 4 months and even though i'm only 25 i feel really scared and discouraged at times. especially since my cycles have been very long and irregular since getting off the bcp. i did finish a course of provera and got my af last week. hopefully that will put things in motion for us. but hang in there and best of luck to you. and don't worry about being forty. my grandma had my mom when she was in her forties and my mom had my sister at 37. so there you go!