Well I am starting day 10 YIPEE... But am still looking for the pink clouds that I have heard about. I still feel as though I am walking around in a fog.
anxiety/panic/depression/ Is this normal? I just need some reassurance. I read about everyone saying 1 week. I don't feel physical things anymore just severe mental distress.
do you think it takes different people longer to get out of this funk.
My trip is next week...YUCK!

DV

Thanks LeeLee..
Yes I do know what you me certain things remind me of the pills. A family member needs to have a medical procedure & I had to get the precert # as I was walking thru the kitchen yesterday posted on the ref. was the precert #..looking at it I didn't see precert I saw percocet...I can't wait till the thoughts of these pills leaves my head.

I think maybe I need to push myself i haven't been out of the house for 10days but don't want to go anywhere either. I wake up every morning with these knots in my stomach and just pure panic, that sometimes I don't get out of bed till noon..then i wonder around the house like a lost puppy dog, picking things up, putting a few loads of laundry in, but then just climbing back to bed.

Today is the dreaded hair appt. & I will force myself to go, only because i have to can't go away looking like this. maybe just getting out of the house will be a step in the right direction.

JCS if you read this I know you said you too had the anxiety how long did it last for you? any help would be appreciated.

do you think I should go to my PCP before I go away & tell him my story...which I intend to do when I see him in March, but basically there really isn't anything he can do for me right? I don't want to go on any antiDs..as i do think the chemicals in my brain just need to stabilize, but I wish they would hurry up....easch day feels like a tougher climb. My poor husband I so want to say I feel better today..Instead of crying all the time saying when will this go away? He has to basically run our house & still work. he's a trooper, I wish I could be half the person he is.....Thats what I will for.

Here's to better days
DV :wave:

Dolce,

I've been following your struggles and happy that you haven't given in. I know you must have thought about it. Here's my advice, for what it's worth. if the physical difficulties have subsided, then get out of the house. Go for a bike ride, walk, play with a dog, lay on your back in the grass and try and make clouds disappear, swim, find a sauna, get a massage. Excercise will produce natural endorphins that our screwed up brains have stopped making on their own and will help you get out of your own head.

It's what I would tell myself to do and it would help me...no doubt. Also, be excited about your trip. Blue water, warm breezes, hot sun...man, those are the best natural highs out there for me. I'm going diving in April and one the one hand, I'm nervous about going without drugs (I will be clean by then), but I'm also very excited about being underwater again.

I wish you well...you're doing great.

dp

DV - Just saw your post...and felt so bad for you. I just have to tell you that my own symptoms were identical to yours. Absolutely the same. Such a gray, souless world...I barely had the impetus to roll over in bed. Leaving the house was a Herculian task that just caused more and more anxiety and depression. I really could do nothing during that time. So, I feel so much empathy with you.

I do take antidepressants and have for many years. My brain chemistry just never got it "together"--and the ADs absolutely saved my life. They gave me the capacity to feel "normal" again...and bit by bit, the color came back into my life. It was a slow but steady--and miraculous--process. All that despair just lifted.

Then--for several years, I got caught up in opiates--and my brain chemistry just went awry again. And, when I finally stopped these awful drugs in December--I anticipated all the depression that withdrawal would bring....so I went to an addictionologist, who put me on the withdrawal drug, Subutex. This Subutex has been a life saver. It took away the withdrawal--but more important--gave me my 'normal" feelings and emotions back. No euphoric highs....just a restoration to the normal "up and down" feelings I've had all my life. So, I am currently on 8 mg a day of Subutex...plus the Prozac and Wellbutrin I've always taken.

There is absolutely nothing worse than the feelings you are going through. I know they will subside in time--but I worry about your having to feel so terrible for any longer than necessary. I just wanted to pipe in with my opinion that antidepressants are in a class utterly different from all those opiates, benzos, etc. ADs are drugs that act to restore your chemistry to where it was--so that you can feel real feelings again.

I really felt so awful reading your post...because I do know how impossible it is to describe the actual moment-by-moment despair you are going thru right now. But, honestly, you WILL begin to feel better. I, too, could not leave my house, could not talk to friends and family...could not do anything. Depression is a physical force that just sits there with all its weight on you---and it can feel just unbearable. So, I just had to send some love and support your way...and tell you about my experience with these life-saving antidepressants. And...also this Subutex, without which I don't think I could have ridden out the depression that comes with withdrawal.

You will get better....but if you feel you need to do something for yourself sooner, please do go to a psychiatrist or addictionologist, who will understand just what you are going through and try to alleviate this soul-destroying depression.

Sorry if this post sounds rushed and rather garbled, but I am at work and have to get off this computer! I will be following you, though....and hoping so much that you will be feeling better soon. What you are going through is, unfortunately, quite common with withdrawal.....but you want to be sure that you get some help, if it lasts too long. And your own brain will tell you, very soon, when "too long" is.

thinking of you, xxx luv, Lynn :-)

Thank you for all the words of encouragement. Got the hair done & felt fine it's coming back home again that it all sets in. But my head feels as though I am in a fog. I am glad I forced myself to go.

Lynn THANKYOU on your wonderful post to me..Yes, you get it! someone who knows how I feel. Thank you for reaching out to me. I know I will get thru this, but sometimes I just wonder HOW.
What a great jog you are doing yourself. This is really a difficult road to travel, I really wish I had veered of to the other fork in the road, but this is the road I chose, so not I just have to get off, which I am doing & get back on the main highway. Thank you all for helping me along my journey.

When I get home from Belize I am going to go to talk with someone, I think that will do wonders.

Happy Thursday all...Survivor starts tonight..I'm a big fan.
Again Thank you Lynn, I look forward to talking with you again...

DV :)