now i am embarressed. i ate a whole bag of baby carrots (which were so heavenly), and i calculated how much calories i took in and its somewhere around 190? 200 cals? well, its 35 cals per 85 grams and there are around 425 grams in the bag. haha o heck, im not one for math...nehoo, i tried to feel good about it, but instead of headin to the toilet (which i pormised myself not to do AT LEAST till sunday), i ran up the stairs like a million times. but my god d** mother caught me so i couldnt finish:( so now i am embarressed. she knows why i was doing it. i told her last nite i try to excercise more than my friends. argh! this JUST happned. she was like "what r u doing?" and im like "NOTHING!" and went to my handy dandy computer and went on this website. god! i hate this! like, i never had gym class or nething today, so it would be like that if i ran up the stairs rite? and my friends have skating, so while their skating and being fit, i sit and get fat! grrr..... i dont care. later on today ill finish my reps.

u know, this website is like my diary. haha i write in here more than my own personal book. i come on here if i feel happy or mad, or whenever! i really appreciate u all!:):)

SammYx0x0x0x

by the way ---> i am going to a dance 2nite, so haha lets hope sum hot bois'll be there!:) lol

aw, you shouldnt feel guilty about eating baby carrots. 200 calories is so little and they're very good for you. maybe you would feel better if you got some regular exercize.. but it's not good if you start getting obsessed with it. I felt a little better about eating at first when I started jogging. but like maybe just take walks or short jogs . and dancing is good exercize too. :)

but eh, I'm one to talk. even after my new vows yesterday.. I just hated how much I ate. gr. setbacks, setbacks

yeh, i know what u mean. i jsut has stir fry which was very yummy and i was quite cautious. i had 2 helpings but i didnt have rice, milk or almonds. i know i have to gain weight, but it is just SO hard!!

Sammy - hope things are okay, no purging til at least Sunday - good luck, I'm sending you positive thoughts and stuff! The stairs thing...yeah, I used to do that too. It's difficult keeping it private though coz stairs are normally in the middle of the house. You do a lot of dance don't you? Coz you probably get enough exercise from that, and while you're dancing your friends probably aren't exercising are they? So if they go skating then it's okay coz you've already done dancing. I don't know, I wish I could do more to help you. All I'd say is if you're worried about over-exercising, try to only exercise with other people, never on your own. It's when you're on your own that you get carried away I find!

Hugs

J*L xxx

hey! o juicyluicy, u did help alot. yeh, there is one of my friends who skates AND plays hockey...i so usually try to get more excercise than her(which never happens). so...and she is SO pretty! i love her to death, we're like THIS haha, but man o man. i dunno, i told my mom and she was like "o who cares! do whats good for u" but that is JUST so hard!

keep in touch!

SammYx0x0x

Hey Sammy

You are a sweetie and you make me laugh with your 'man o man' and 'whatnot' comments...you are great to have on these boards!

Competition can be great, it pushes you and makes you do your best...but then it can be so destructive as well. The best thing you can do is to get the exercise YOU think YOU need. I know that is way easier said than done! But throughout life you will find people who you feel you need to compete with, whether it's because of intelligence, prettiness, fitness, thinness...whatever. There are ALWAYS people more beautiful, thinner, prettier than us and that is something that we all need to accept, no excuses. The thing is, there is someone out there who thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world. And also health is beauty :) I know it's easy to forget that in a world full of america's next top model and all these sickly thin sticks who somehow manage to feign health (lots of make up and facials I think!!!) but if you live in the real world, you need your health to survive. You can't dance with an ED the way you can dance without one (believe me, i've tried) and there are so many things that you miss out on if you're growing up with an ed.

Argh!! I can't write without rambling, I really need to work on that :nono: i could (and do) spend all day on this site....where would we be without it eh?

Take care Sammy, :blob_fire (hehe, thought he was cute)
J*L xxx

Juicy!! u are like a sister! lol, we both can ramble on about things...lordy knows what id do on this site either. lol! i come on this like every hour just to see how every1's doing. lol! yeh, health is beauty and i agree (those models are FAKE!!) haha well, maybe not all, but i like to tell myself that 2 make msyelf feel better. lol. o gosh, and competition is a good thing, EXCEPT for if its over done. it can make things even harder. lol i loved ur words of advice and u have just as much humour and spunk!:):)

its a slow progress, so if i just eat things i feel safe with i can build up to my forbidden foods.:)

ill ttyl!!

SammYx0x0x