:eek: I got out of treatment on Tuesday. Its Friday now. Ive been home with my 9 month old son trying my hand at motherhood sober for the first time. I have been very tempted to use and my family has made me feel very alone. No one is helping me but my mom who has a back problem. They haven't been taking me to meetings. I don't have my lisence so I can't drive myself and I don't know where these places are so I can't ride the bus. I'm starting to feel like all my work in treatment was in vain and I'm doomed back to a life to using. I'm supposed to do a 90 in 90, I've aleady missed three meetings. I'm supposed to be getting into day treatment with the help of my Childrens Services Case Worker but she won't call me back. Everything feels like it's falling apart. What can or should I do to help keep myself sober. I was addicted to Valium. I can't go back there again. Please help!!

~MoonLitWillow

slow down. everything sounds as though it can be taken care of. is there public transportation somewhere around you? if not a neighbor? someone at all. i know how you feel. i my self was addicted to xanax. it's so hard. i still don't have a completely clear head. feel as though i'm in a fog all the time and it's been 6 months. when you feel this way, and one thing goes wrong, it feels as though the world is crashing down on you. you are not doomed to a life of using. that part is completely up to you. maybe you can call the place where you're supposed to go to the meetings about transportation. they will usually help. as for the caseworker, don't give up. bug the crap out of her till she calls back. just don't use. you'll feel as though you're back at square one. i'll pray for you. :angel:

First of all - go back and read what you said to me.

Secondly I don't know if you realize that you an look up meetings on the internet and you may be surprised that there is a meeting in walking distance.

I'm sorry you don't have that support system you need so badly. That's always been part of my problem. Now that I told my husband and friend I at least have allies against this war. You have some too - use them as much as you can - be selfish. Later on they can all lean on you because you'll be whole again - and you can give back. When you get to a meeting - tell anyone that will listen about your trouble getting to meetings - I'm sure they will share how they get over hurdles and offer support. You can take your baby too - I've been told this many times. If you do get to a meeting - tell me about it because I haven't had the guts to go yet!

We're here Moonlit.

Tori

Call AA and tell them the same thing you told us. I think they will help you.

Can you tell us how you ended up in treatment?

Everything will work out if you stay clean and sober. It may not seem like it now, but it will.

Hang in there.

Take care,
Patty

PS Congratulations for getting off Valium. I for one know how difficult that is!!!

Thanks for all the advice, so far so good.
I got put in treatment by using too much too often. I left one night to use and my parents called 241-KIDS on me. Next thing I know, there is a Childrens Services worker at our door telling me either I go to treatment or I lose custody of my son. So I went to a 28 day treatment facility. They tried to refer me to another treatment facility after my 28 days there but I refused and came home. There were no negative reactions from Childrens Services so I felt by coming home I was doing the best thing for my son. I misssed him so much.
But now I'm having trouble just dealing with being a mom. I'm feeling things for the first time and I'm seeing things for the first time. Its crazy. He's almost walking and I missed everything up until now. I was in a fog for so long I cant remember what to do, how to act or anything. I'm so happy and I feel so guilty all at once.
My mom is helping to the best of her ability and my dad agreed to take me to more meetings. He helps a little but he is very much of the mindset of I need to do this all on my own.
I'll get by, one day at a time.
~MoonLitWillow

[QUOTE=MoonLitWillowWhat can or should I do to help keep myself sober. I was addicted to Valium. I can't go back there again. Please help!!

~MoonLitWillow[/QUOTE]

Hi sweetie,
You get yourself the phonebook out and call AA or NA or CA and let them know you MUST get to meetings and they have many many wonderful folks who are MORE than willing to stop and pick you up. We volunteer....I have done it. Let them know you have a little one and you are not sure what to do with the baby during meetings. Please call them today...........they(we) love to help.
Sparkles

Sparkles is right~Call AA or NA intergroup's office (you can get the # from the phone book or information) and they may be able to arrange for someone to pick you up and take you to a meeting and bring you home. Just explain the desperation of the situation and how close you feel to picking up. Part of staying sober is to be of service to others needing help. "Giving back" what was so freely given to us. Do it! Don't wait till the office closes. Once at a meeting you can share about it again, and maybe you can make arrangements with someone who lives near you on a more regular basis. Offering a little gas $$ is always nice, but probably won't be accepted.
I too went to rehab for zanax addiction and I so agree....You NEVER want to have to go through that again! EEEK!
Give it a try and let us know how it goes.
Ellen
P.S Welcome to the boards! Hang in there!

I have to agree with everyone else. I have been where you are.....unable to get to meetings with a little one....i ended up one day, finding a meeting nearby, called my mother-in-law asked her for a ride there...took my 2 yr old in with me and the people at the meeting were so nice. They kept taking turns walking around with him outside. It was great. I even hooked up with a ride home that evening and tons of numbers, so i could get to meetings by others picking me up on the way. You just gotta get to that first meeting and put yourself out there...ask for help and phone numbers, that is what they are there for. I know how demanding motherhood can be. You keep doing the right thing and i promise the outcome is gonna be wonderful!!! You gotta do everything child protective services says.....absolutely NO RELAPSING!!! So get on the phone call the 1-800 number for AA or NA, ask your dad for a ride, once you get there reach out.....they will approach you any way i am sure. They DO have meetings with babysitting during the day. Usually a noon time woman's meeting will have babysitting, i take full advantage of those!!! Don't get overwhelmed, it is o.k. One step at a time. make the call to the NA or AA hotline and from there you know what to do.
Post back soon,
Take care of yourself and that little angel of yours....
luv,
LISA

Take a deep breath. Next decide if you really want to stay sober or not. Are you really ready to be done with it? Are you sick of it? Next decide what length you are willing to go to stay off it? Also decide what exuse is a good enough one for you to relapse. If there is one then you are not ready. You need to make your mind up that you are doing the sober thing no matter what happens or if you have no help at all. I have been off drugs for three years now and I had no one and no driver's license. I made it work. Where there is a will there is a way! If you feel you need to go to meetings then look up the meetings and find a way there. Bus routes are usually online and so are meeting times. The thing is, you got yourself messed up on the drugs. No one else did that to you. It is no one else's job to try to help keep you sober or get you out of the hole you dug for yourseld. Your family has probably been burdened enough at this point that maybe they need a brake. Meeting people are good to lend a helping hand. You do it, and do it all by yourself (exluding family). The end result is much more of a victory than you will ever know if you do it by yourself no matter what! Good luck. It is all very overwhelming at first. Look at your glass as half full not half empty. The driver's license thing is a pain in the ***. There are ways around it and you can do it if you want.