Jennalicious
02-18-2005, 09:29 PM
Hi guys,
I'm sure you hear stories like these all the time, and while I can appreciate others stories, somehow I think that getting a bit of mine out will do something positive for me. I'm not unintelligent, I have a degree, I know that you are supposed to eat food to live. But years ago, following a disastrous relationship ending, I started starving, then playing catch up by eating until I felt like the skin on my stomach would pop open and my innards would whip out (sorry for the graphic nature). Anyway, I lost some weight naturally after a while, by cutting down safely. But the weight has crept up on me again, slowly....But today I went to the doctor on an unrelated visit matter (I've got a bad elbow) and the nurse made me weigh myself. 245 pounds. I'm 5'7" and she proceeded to lecture me on how I've gained 65 pounds since high school. That was six years ago. I still wear the same sized jeans I wore in high school, in fact I still have a pair of them. I'm not in denial, but I'm at my breaking point right now. She told me of the wonders of stretch denim(???), that I "carry my weight well" because I have a big frame,and that I should be careful because if I stay fat into my 30's I'm risking disease and death. She was condescending and took the wrong approach. And now I am at my lowest. I went to dinner tonight, healthy roasted chicken and vegetables and food didn't taste anymore. I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that is going to keep me from eating. I am less scared of overeating because of the hold food has on me. I was just starting to get better and now I'm right back to square one. I know others have solicited your advice and I think it's wonderful that such discussion forums exist. Perhaps someone can suggest something to snap me out of this mindset. Right now food is disgusting to me, even the things I love (I'm generally a healthy eater, I just eat way too much of the healthy stuff) and I don't want to fall back into the periods of feeling faint, my hair falling out and yoyoing back and forth. For once in my life I want to look in the mirror and not want to break it. I want to go to a store and try on the clothes and have them fit properly and not be plus sized.
Any healthy suggestions, aside from psychotherapy, that you've tried to redirect these negative and destructive thoughts?
Thanks guys, and keep up the great work on here.
Love
Jenn
I'm sure you hear stories like these all the time, and while I can appreciate others stories, somehow I think that getting a bit of mine out will do something positive for me. I'm not unintelligent, I have a degree, I know that you are supposed to eat food to live. But years ago, following a disastrous relationship ending, I started starving, then playing catch up by eating until I felt like the skin on my stomach would pop open and my innards would whip out (sorry for the graphic nature). Anyway, I lost some weight naturally after a while, by cutting down safely. But the weight has crept up on me again, slowly....But today I went to the doctor on an unrelated visit matter (I've got a bad elbow) and the nurse made me weigh myself. 245 pounds. I'm 5'7" and she proceeded to lecture me on how I've gained 65 pounds since high school. That was six years ago. I still wear the same sized jeans I wore in high school, in fact I still have a pair of them. I'm not in denial, but I'm at my breaking point right now. She told me of the wonders of stretch denim(???), that I "carry my weight well" because I have a big frame,and that I should be careful because if I stay fat into my 30's I'm risking disease and death. She was condescending and took the wrong approach. And now I am at my lowest. I went to dinner tonight, healthy roasted chicken and vegetables and food didn't taste anymore. I have this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that is going to keep me from eating. I am less scared of overeating because of the hold food has on me. I was just starting to get better and now I'm right back to square one. I know others have solicited your advice and I think it's wonderful that such discussion forums exist. Perhaps someone can suggest something to snap me out of this mindset. Right now food is disgusting to me, even the things I love (I'm generally a healthy eater, I just eat way too much of the healthy stuff) and I don't want to fall back into the periods of feeling faint, my hair falling out and yoyoing back and forth. For once in my life I want to look in the mirror and not want to break it. I want to go to a store and try on the clothes and have them fit properly and not be plus sized.
Any healthy suggestions, aside from psychotherapy, that you've tried to redirect these negative and destructive thoughts?
Thanks guys, and keep up the great work on here.
Love
Jenn