Hiya peeps,
Its me again - not been around as much lately for a variety of reasons that would probably bore you to tears.
But now I have a big time problem. I am an anorexic who is trying to recover. I use the word 'trying' too easily and often find myself in reverse mode to recovery. Anyway, I have been informed that it is very possible I am going to be 'sectioned' under the Mental Health Act. In other words, I will be detained in a unit and force fed. I do not see how this will help anyone, least of all me. For gods sake, I KNOW full well what I am doing to myself. I voluntarily recently started asking for help from an ed team again, so why on earth do they think this would be beneficial.
I have been scouring the nets for information how I can prove that despite bearing the label of 'mentally ill' for having an eating disorder, I am still completely aware of reality. It will literally be the nail in my coffin if they manage to do this to me.
So, any ideas, any help/experience about this issue would be very useful.
In the meantime, I am wondering how much water one person can drink in order to gain enough weight to shut them all up!
Hugs to you all, thanks for reading.
H xoxo

From a few experiences with friends I have heard the doctors say to the parents "Your daughter has been starving herself for such a long time that her brain is not working properly" She needs to get nutrition in her so that her brain as well as other parts of her body are not damaged forever"
To another parent "we can not deal with her when she has not eaten. She is unwilling to do anything because of her lack of food. She is depressed, moody, and weather she admits it or not her body hurts. You can not talk to anyone that is in pain. We feed her first to get her mood swings to calm down then we will start therapy"

Did anyone say why they think you should be admitted?

Jenteal

Thanks for your response Jenteal!
Well, firstly I am not under the age of parental control - I am 24. And the reason is that they think that I have compromised my body to a level where it is at risk of going into organ failure...BUT, I swear I did used to weigh so much less than I do now. So I don't see why they are suddenly so fussed about it. I have gained, ok so I lost some again recently...but I was voluntarily treated when I got down to my lowest bmi of just over 11. I am at bmi 15.5 now, so I can't see why they would want to do this to me.
I think its because I am seeing different people now from who I was seeing before, and they just see things differently I guess.
I can't let this happen though, I have a husband, responsibilities to work and friends. I simply cannot go through this. And I told them categorically that it will only make things worse in the long run if I gain too quickly. They think I am stubborn and uncooperative to their ideas, but I so have been trying.
I am so scared about this :(
Thanks again for your response, its so hard getting people to see that underneath the ed there is an actual person who wants to be treated like a person, not as a subject.
H :wave:

Hey H!

Long time no talk (but I know why and dontcha worry bout it!). Wow things are wuite messy now arent they? lol. WEll to be honest, I can't say that Im against what they are wanting to do. Sometimes, and I know you will never ever agree to this but here it goes- sometimes people just need a head start. And I know you feel like you already got yours, when you weighed less, but the fact of the matter is that you are still severely unhealthy and you probably ARE at risk for organ failure! I know youre very against being admitted because you dont want to leave your job or husband- but if you dont go, you risk leaving them forever (aka death). Is that really the better choice? Not to be harsh or mean, but you dont exactly have tons of time to think things through and try things out your way anymore...you are pushing life and death! I know you probably are in denial of sorts, but you have to see this, and you have to let the doctors do what they need to do! They aren't going to make you fat, and they certainly arent going to put weight on you overnight. It WILL be slowly, just probably not as slowly as you would like... Just please let them do what they need to do so that you have a chance at getting better! I want you around here for a long time still to bug and pester :P!

GG
P.S. DONT even think about water loading- they will catch on and thats not exactly going to go over well, now will it :nono:

I understand how you feel. It's scary thinking about putting on weight let alone being "put away" for awhile and force fed. But if you're near organ failure then it might be the best thing for you. My therapist has threatened to send me to the hospital before but I talked him out of it and I'd do good for awhile but then I fall right back into it. It's scary. I abuse laxatives and right now I'm having permanent cramping that I don't even want to tell anyone about and sometimes my stomach hurts after I eat (and that's without binging). I eventually know that sometime this year...I can feel it...I'm going to be sent to the hospital and that scares me to death. Is it your therapist or pdoc that's sending you away? How does your family feel about this? I agree that you shouldn't overload on water...that's not going to work at all and they'll figure out what you've done. I hope you make the right decision for yourself. :nono:

Hey H,

I can't send you enough hugs right now ((((((((((((((H)))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all this, you really deserve so much better honey :)

The thing is, H, that with long-term suffering like yours, even if your weight isn't as low as it has been it does not mean that your body is in better health now than it was at your lowest weight. Constant starvation does and will affect your organs, and there has to be an element of trust between you and your ed team and doctors on this one. They want to get you better H; force feeding is an absolute last resort and they don't section people unless they feel there is no other choice. I know how hard getting better is and it is even more difficult as you have your husband to think of as well. I think it's fantastic that you went voluntarily to seek help, I really do. I also think that maybe you are a bit freaked out by doctors suggesting you need to be force-fed because it's making you think about the damage that could actually be done to your body...I don't know. I do know that unless you begin to steadily gain weight - even if it's slowly, but it has to be gaining consistently - then the best thing could be sectioning. I'm not saying this because I think force is the best way to recover by any means - but I do think that if all other options have been exhausted and you still are not gaining or near a healthy weight, this could be the best option to keep you alive. Because that's what it comes down to in the end - keeping alive.

I hope you realise that I'm being honest with you and I'm saying what I really think, and I'm only thinking of what's going to keep you alive and give you the best chance of survival and getting you back to a healthy weight. Your husband, friends and job are clearly important to you but your health is the most important thing because without it you won't get to appreciate your husband, friends and job. I'm sure you've heard this all before H...I guess if you feel strongly enough about not wanting to be sectioned then perhaps you can use that as motivation to get better on your own terms? Because I do believe that doing it on your own terms is better because it pushes you to think sensibly and logically about eating and your reasoning for eating/not eating. I think maybe this could be a turning point for you though H - 'the ball is in your court' (I hate that expression actually!!) you can either do it on their terms, or do it on your terms. Either way, getting better is something that has to be done. It has it's hiccups (I know all about them alright!) but it can be done and you are strong enough to do it!

I'm sending you the biggest hugs in the world H, I just want you to be happy and healthy. Hope to speak to you soon hun :wave:

Love and hugs,
Lucy

Oh my dear friend. I haven't been here in a while and when I read this I just started crying. You must be so scared right now and confused. But let me tell you this when you starve your body for a long time your muscles start to eat themselves and your heart is a muscle. The doctors are probably afraid of long tem damage to your heart or even heart failure more than anything.
I want you to know that you are strong for asking for help and don't think of this a "force feeding" or "sectioning" per se. You are not an animal you are a beautiful human being. What they are doing is putting your health in the best care possible. They will take good care of you and make you better so when you come out you can enjoy being with your friends and husband who love you so much.
It is NOT the end of the world, it is not something to be afraid of. Sometimes things happen for a reason and we cannot see it in a positive light when it's actually happening but later on you will realise that this may be just what you need to save your life. If you can think of this as a gift to yourself. Remember your body is only a temple for your soul. Protect it, cherish it.
Someone I know went through the exact same thing and I remember her crying and saying she could do this on her own but in reality she couldn't, they saved her life. Please my dear go and let them help you. We all need you here and a problem like this is not going to go away over night.
I know you love your job and love your husband and friends and they will all be there when you come out. Please do this. Please keep us posted as I will be here everday just for you. Take care.
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))

Just a thought. It is possible that some of us will never be cured and that forcing us to receive treatment will only prolong our lives rather than produce a permenant recovery. For these folks, it is important to make a distinction between decisions about receiving treatment and decision about the quality of one's life. Although it may be perceived as irrational or involuntary for an anorexic to refuse food to the point of starvation or ill health, the same cannot be said about a chronic anorexic who refuses treatment because she feels the quality of her life is not worth enduring the torture of forced feedings.

I found that it was in August 1997, The Mental Health Commsission issued guidance on when anorexics can be detained, treated, and fed without consent. The need for such clarification was highlighted in Jan. 1996 by the death of Nikki Hughes. Acting on legal advice, her doctors refused to feed her without her consent, even through she was anorexic. The claim was that she knew exactly what she was doing and had the right to refuse therapy, even though it would result in her death. The MHC guidance makes it clear that it would NOT have been illegal to feed Nikki without her consent, providing such feeding was part of a program of therapy for her anorexia, or necessary to restore her to a condition where other therapies might have been effective. Question...DO YOU WANT TO LIVE? If so...get fed. If not..then perhaps it will only continue the pain you are already having. Please realize that the misery of feeding and undesired weight gain could result in the benefit of being able to look back with gratitude at the actions of carers, family, and partners who refuse to give up hope. I know this is MUCH easier for me to write than it is for you. I know because I was in the same position myself. I did manage to gain 2-3 pounds and thus kept the tube away. The doctors also recognized at the time that putting me on the tube would totally tear me down mentally, possibly permenantly. I would have wanted to committ suicide if that had happened. Eventually, I slowly gained more over several months on my own. I'll never be, that I'm aware of now..at the weight (Ideal) I should be. But having to deal with the weight I'm at now (which is too high of course) probably beats dealing with the chaos I made my life by living at a weight that was totally, obviously way too low. By the way..I am a male anorexic and bulimic and still dealing with this at the age of 45! It never goes away. FUJITAF5 :yawn:

Fujita made a good point and asked a really good question about whether or not you want to live. I know for me being force fed would only make the situation worse because when I get out of the hospital the cycle may start again. Do they have to have your consent to force feed you? How does your hubby feel about this? If you do have to sign a consent and refuse will your hubby declare you mentally incompetent? :nono:

Hey H

A couple more things...listen to Sumi for she is wise!! How she always finds the right thing to say I will never know but I agree with her wholeheartedly. One thing she said...'It is NOT the end of the world, it is not something to be afraid of. Sometimes things happen for a reason and we cannot see it in a positive light when it's actually happening but later on you will realise that this may be just what you need to save your life.' It just makes so much sense to me and I hope it does to you too. Things don't always have to be the way they are now in your life, you have the power to change things.

The other thing...bbybird and fujitaf had some good points...sectioning can be done against your will, can't it? I would say that anorexia doesn't always have to stay with you. It isn't a case of 'once an anoretic, always an anoretic', you just have to stay positive, use the people around you to help you through the bad times and focus on the future. Your life IS worth living, your husband needs you in his life and you are such a wonderful person, H; again Sumi is right, we need you on these boards, we need for you to do whatever you have to do to get through this.

Loads and loads of hugs,
Lucy xxx

Oh hells :( I dont even know what to say. I too am sitting in tears, I am so scared for you.

I know what you have been telling me on msn about your state of health. I know what you told me about how you cant lie to yourself any more. I also know from what you said you WANT to live. Part of you is not ready to give up yet. Hold on to that part hells.

I was talking to someone else about them making a decision between what they want and what is better for them (I wont name names because they use this board). She pointed something out to me:

Sometimes we think it will be easier if someone tells us what to do, when, in reality, it is not.

What will make you happy (in this case not being sectioned) is worse for you long term. What will make other epople happy will make you unhappy but be better for you long term.

In the end though, it is not a case of who you want to keep happy:yourself or others. It is a case of knowing the other people are right, that what they want is the RIGHT thing to do but it is the hardest. That it is a question of whether you are strong enough to do the right thing.

But ultimately it is your choice

I know what choice I want you to make, i've only known you a year but it feels like os much longer. I care about you so so so much as I know many others do. However, I am not you. They are not you. We cannot make your decision for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, you know you will always have my support. Get in touch as soon as you can somehow, I havent heard from you in a few days and you know how much I worry lol

xoxoxox