I'm kind of at a loss of what I should do. Last Thursday a teacher of mine and also a guidance counselor at my school confronted me about my weight. She said she was concerned because she's had anorexics bigger than me. I was a little confused with that statement. But anyway, she kept asking how much I eat, how many meals I eat, how much weight I lost. Of course I didn't tell her any of these things. I told her I was fine. She said she's heard that before from girls that have ended up in couseling and or facilities. She said she knows about this stuff from experience in dealing with it in other girls. I told her anything she could tell me I already knew. But now I don't know what to do with this whole situation. I have her for class everyday and now it just seems strange. I'm scared to lose any more weight right now for fear that she'll convince my parents to get "help" for me. At the same time, there is just no way I can gain weight right now. So I was thinking to myself that maybe I could just keep myself at the weight I'm at for awhile. I just don't know. Has anyone been confronted like this or does anyone have any advice on what I should do?

Hi lovelydaze,

I was in a sort of similar situation when I was in high school. My friend and I kept a journal that we wrote notes back and forth in, and she accidentally left the nb behind in one class. Her teacher must have read through it Page by Page, b/c she found the ONE note that I talked about my ED. She arranged for a meeting between the three of us and told me that she used to be anorexic. At first I tried denying it, and then I broke down (stupid me). She forced me to see the guidance counselor, who then gave me this horrible memorized speech about society and thinness, blah blah.

Afterwards he instructed me to tell my mom, and have her call him, or else he would call her and tell her himself. I thought by getting my problem out in the open, it would magically be cured- Yeah Right! I did tell my mom, but I down played it- like I was "just trying it" to lose weight. The issue wasn't brought up after that. And the school didn't force me to see a therapist or anything.

In my opinion, I wouldn't want the school involved. They actually put things like this in your school record- well mine did anyway! When you're ready to seek help, you should get it on your own terms. My advice would be to just deny it- some people really are naturally skinny (you could even use a thyroid excuse :rolleyes: ) I would also try not to lose any more weight, for health reasons as well :D

Good luck and take care! :)
~Nova

Thanks. I know I shouldn't be denying the problem, but the whole school/faculty does not need to know about this. I also do not want it in my record especially since I'm so close to being finished with high school. And maybe I wouldn't deny it, but the fact is, the guidance counselor just assumes that she knows more about this than I do. Well, I'm the one living through it everyday and she has never lived with it a day in her life. There's a BIG difference, in my opinion, in living with it and seeing people live through it. By telling me that I need to eat, she proves this to be correct.

How did you deal with your problem then... since it kind of faded away, publically anyway, in high school?

Hey Lovelydaze

I actually got confronted about my anorexia by a teacher...she asked me in the middle of class if I was anorexic during a science lesson about nutrition. I was mortified and tried to deny it, but you know what? I also felt proud of myself because for her to ask, it must mean I was thin...

As soon as teachers, guidance counsellors or whatever get involved, you should realise that you're not just dealing with losing a couple of pounds to be a healthy weight. You have to be pretty thin and look pretty ill for people to voice their concerns. Also, I think if you are under 16 (def in the UK) and a teacher at school thinks that your life is in danger from yours or someone else's activities, they are required by law to tell someone and take action. I'm pretty sure that is the case; they are not bound if you tell them something in confidence if they think your life could be in danger.

Lovelydaze, please think about what these people have said and consider getting some help. I had conselling sessions for a while before I felt ready to gain any weight - they always say that if you get to the root problem and 'sort things out' then the weight becomes far less of an issue. And you don't need anyone to tell you that at your weight (you've posted it here before I think) is scarily low: like I've said here before, people have told me I look gaunt at 112lbs and I'm the same height as you (if you're 5' 6" like I think you said you are - hope I'm thinking of the same person!!!) Take this concern shown by your teacher as an opportunity to talk through some of your problems. Find a counsellor that you get on with and talk about things - we all know from these boards that talking really does help :)

Anyways, hope that made some sense and hope you are doing okay sweetie,
J*L xxx

Juicy Lucy~
I had that proud feeling too. I knew I shouldn't. I knew she was being serious, but I couldn't help but have a smile on my face. She must have thought I was insane.

I don't know if my teacher could really do too much to me considering I am 18 and I live in the US, but I do fear her talking to my parents about it and convincing them to do something.

There is a part of me that wants to get better and I recently told my good friend in Cali that I have a problem. He is the ONLY person I actually admitted to that I have an eating disorder. This part of me that wants to get better and telling someone I really know and care about are knew to me. Maybe they are small steps. I don't know what I want though. It's so hard to want to get better when I can't see how small I supposedly am.

Hey lovelydaze

That's fantastic that you have found someone to confide in, because that means there is a part of you, however small, that realises what you are doing to yourself. That is a step in the right direction for sure, and you should be proud of yourself for admitting that you have a problem. I hope the friend you told is supportive and willing to help you because having a support network around you during recovery is an important thing.

I think that until you've recovered completely (a really scary idea for most ed sufferers) then there is only ever a part of you that wants to get better. I say that because the anorexia lives inside you and until you are free from it, there is always a part of you that is fighting your recovery. That's why it's so hard to recover because every step of the way you have this voice yelling at you that you're fat and ugly and you don't deserve to eat. But you have to get through it because otherwise your life is totally ruled by your ed. You have to be strong and keep going and hope that one day you'll have all of yourself back and you don't have to share your body with anorexia. It does happen to people and it CAN happen to YOU!!! You just have to stay positive and work at it with baby steps. Take it day by day, hour by hour, it's the only way.

Do you have any ideas as to what may have triggered your anorexia? You may have posted it before, you'll have to excuse my rubbish memory :confused: Working this out, even if it's in the past or you can't change it, really will help you to understand why you are going through this.

Keep believing in that part of you that wants to get better. That is the real you speaking, not your illness. That is the part that you need to listen to. Let me know how it all goes :)

:wave:

Juicy*Lucy xxx

Hey

The guy I told is so great to me. If I could be with one person in the entire world, it would be him. He's supportive to me no matter what's going on in my life. He's always there for me, and if there is one person that could help get me out of my situation, it would be him for sure. Seeing how it hurts him, hurts me because there's no one I care about more.

I've though about what's triggered it several times. I came up with a number of reasons that I truly feel have caused it. I posted them somewhere once, but I won't bore everyone with them again. Even still, I can't seem to stop any of this. I do feel like I've slowed it down though. Does that make sense?

Juicy Lucy~
I had that proud feeling too. I knew I shouldn't. I knew she was being serious, but I couldn't help but have a smile on my face. She must have thought I was insane.

Hey lovely daze... this is normal... Your depressed whether you know it or not. ED is a result of depression which I didn't realize while I was anorexic.. I thought I was happy... I would alwayz have a smile on my face because I didn't know how to express myself... plus I wanted to look happy to outsiders as I wouldn't let anyone in. It is hard gaining the weight but even harder getting help... you must take it one step at a time... Whats hurts me alot is like you my parents didn't realize that I had the ed and till now won't admit to it. Oh and by the way "only people who restrict binge" - this is because they just think oh I won't eat later.... I"ll make up for all this food that I'm eating now in the future.. unless your coe where you just gain. If you have any more questions let me know ... you need to get help my ed isn't anorexia nemore but my mindset sometimes goes back to it. It's hard to get over and I've been suffering for a year and a half now... I wish I could be fat and not care... no I wish I wouldn't be judged by neone no matter how big or lil I was... but when they talk to you about that it shows you that they care. My best freind wanted me to get help and I got so angry with her she went to my parents (and they still didn't believe) but then I secluded myself. I always had a very few really close freinds than other people were just to have fun with not to trust. And I seperated myself in denial. This is a bad choice... luckily after all the things I said ... they took me back and I love them dearly.

O by the way I'm 18 5'10 now 140 used to be 100.51bs last year. I have pictures I looked like I was going to break. My but was so grosss.. and I still wanted to loose!!!! well thats part of the ed but it's unhealthy and has created so many problems and I'm sure I haven't found out about all of them yet.... ask me questions... need to talk? let me know. I'm a really bad sleeper and am alwayz up

I don't know if my teacher could really do too much to me considering I am 18 and I live in the US, but I do fear her talking to my parents about it and convincing them to do something.

There is a part of me that wants to get better and I recently told my good friend in Cali that I have a problem. He is the ONLY person I actually admitted to that I have an eating disorder. This part of me that wants to get better and telling someone I really know and care about are knew to me. Maybe they are small steps. I don't know what I want though. It's so hard to want to get better when I can't see how small I supposedly am.

Lately I've been having more thoughts that ever about wanting to get better, but I just don't know if I could actually do it. The fact that a teacher brought it up and told me to eat just makes me want to lose more. It'l like, I hate her so much I don't ever want to admit she was right. I only want to rely on myself.

Saleenbty~ Thanks for being there for me. I did have a question for you. You said your ED caused a lot of problems already. I was wondering what those were if you didn't mind sharing with me.

Hey lovelydaze,

Sorry I didn't reply to your question sooner- my mom is visiting, so I've been pretty busy. My problem wasn't public, b/c she wasn't even my teacher, and I only told a couple friends, who'd never say anything. Anyway, I hate when people act like they know Everything about you, just b/c they know this one thing. And don't you love how they think by simply saying "eat" just magically fixes everything??? Well, I hope that this issue just fades away for you as well!!

~Nova

That's okay Nova...understandable. I wasn't in a hurry anyway. I've been fairly busy myself. And yah, I definitely love how eating is just supposed to solve everything. I want to tell them all that it doesn't work like that, but they wouldn't get it anyway. I hope my problems fade away like yours did. That would be ideal. I think that a lot of my problems are from living at home since my homelife kind of sucks. I hope that things will get better for me when I go off to college next year. But I also fear that things could just escalate because I have so much more freedom.

Hey lovelydaze

I've been thinking about your posts...about how you're having all these thoughts about wanting to get better and whether or not you can actually do it...well I guess I just wanted to let you know that when you make the decision to get better, your ED doesn't just disappear. So if you're worried about 'losing your identity' or letting go of your ed or whatever, it doesn't just disappear overnight. A decision to attempt recovery basically means that you start fighting more against your thoughts of restricting and you start to think more about why you have an eating disorder. It's about getting your own mind back and taking control. I'm sure you know all of this anyway...but believe me, recovery is NOT about getting fat, it's about taking back control.

Recovery, even if it's slow, is so much better than being in the grips of anorexia. Believe me. If you can involve this guy you speak to highly of :) in your recovery then do it, because he'll give you an extra incentive to get better. Please!! You will feel so much better for it!

Hugs
Juicy xxx

Thanks Juicy. I don't really know what to say right now other than you've really given me a lot to think about. Your advice means so much to me.

Hi , I'm new to this board as I guess I've only just begun to accept that what I am goin through is an eating disorder. It's difficult to admit that but I've now managed to confide in one of my friends and that has really helped, just to get it out in the open. I realise that I do need some other help but I just can't face it. I'm useless at talking to people face to face about personal things so now I don't know what to do! My other friends have started to become suspicious as they have noticed I'm not eating and they confronted me the other day saying that if I didn't talk to someone they would. I totally freaked so I totally understand where you're coming from. The thing is I reckon I should just take it slowly coz they don't seem to understand that after making myself sick for quite some time now I cannot just suddenly eat normally again- it doesn't work like that but I am trying. At the moment I am at a certain very well known Uni in England and I'm scared that the pressure building up to exams is not going to help! I never thought this would happen to me because my auntie is anorexic and i've seen what harm it can do. I do not want to end up like her!! If I were you I would be unconfortable about talking to teachers because I would not want them to just define who I am and how I'm doin by my eatin disorder. However, the more I've thought about it and tried to deal with my problem myself the more I'm beginning to see that I cannot deal with this alone. I know now I need to see someone to deal with the underlying issues but I'm not sure I have the guts as even talking on here is a big step for me.

Anyway, if you wanna talk about it with someone in the same position I'm here. There's no point denying the problem, I've been trying that for some time. Eventually it catches up with you!

x

Hey! Welcome to the boards.
I hate to think that I have an eating disorder too. I can barely say the word anorexia, especially if my name is in the same sentence.
I still have so many thoughts about not wanting to get better. It's like a part of me-a big part of me that I've devoted so much time and effort into. I don't want to feel fat and depressed. I don't know if I'm ready to take action into getting better.

okllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllll

Nice post Roxychic :)

Lovelydaze - you know I'm here to chat and to give advice and support whenever you want it! Don't worry about not updating the thread with what'd going on, sometimes loadsa stuff happens in a few days, and sometimes nothing happens for a week at a time! Just know that we're here to support you and that just because things are bad now, doesn't mean to say they always have to be that way.

Hugs,
Juicy xxx