Well I finally went in to get tested, after a stupid period of reckless behaviour. Protected sex with a number of people, a little "swinging phase" but there was one with whom there was no protection, and I have gotten myself worried sick, quite literally. I had the flu (so did everyone else I know) so of course that was one thing, I was diagnosed with BV and my doctor recomended an HIV test, that kicked it for me. I get anxiety attacks and general anxiety as it is, now I am a wreck. I went in this morning and got a full on STD screen, I told them to test me for everything known. I just want to be able to wipe the slate clean. Problem is I am overanalysing everything. I have had looes stools for about a month, I am told that can be nerves, especially because of my anxiety int the first place, and I tell you, I have been resigning myself to the thought that that is it, I have hiv and how am I going to deal with it and tell my kids. I am a single mom of 2 children who still live at home. They of course dont know that I have gone to get tested. I realy dont know anyone out here that I can talk to in Vancouver, the people I know basically know me as the "good church girl" and this could be a hell of a blow. I am at my wits end, I cant concentrate at work, I am completely distracted. The next 10 days are going to be the longest in my life. Is there anyone else in my neighborhood who has gone through the same? I feel kinda silly at 33 years old wanting someone to hold my hand and tell me it's ok, but that is where I am. :confused:
Misty

Oh i'm right with you on this one...
I had loose stools for a month as well, but i lost about 6 pounds and my doctor found a swollen lymph node...i had a cbc and all that and everything came out fine which i kind of was hoping for a thyroid problem or something.
fortunatley, or maybe unfortunatley depending on how you look at it, many viruses come and go throughout our lives and our bodies are changing ALL the time from stress/anxiety etc
As someone who has been labeled a hypochondriac by everyone i know, i can tell you that even having a cough is not something easy for someone who worries alot...all i can say is while you're waiting, keep in mind the fact that our bodies respond to EVERYTHING we put in it, including stress especially. In fact, if you analyze your symptoms greatley, stress can easily resemble hiv or something else...it comprimises your immune system, it makes you sleepless, gives you loose stools, and evrything else under the sun you could think of. Be glad you got tested, because alot of people dont have the courage to do so. were all human and we make mistakes, unfortunatley this is my second time here, but sometimes it takes more then one lesson for all of us to learn...finally, all i can say is really do not take this scare with a grain of salt as i did...remember there are people who are here for you, and who care so much about you, and that means more then anything in the world.
best of luck to you, keep everyone updated and keep smiling

Thank you so much for your response. And you are right, really I suppose if I look at it rationally (lol .. ok rational I am generally Not - neurotic is more the nail on the head), there is nothing I can do by worrying about the outcome at this point in the game. It is good to hear I am not the only Hypochondriac in the world out there, yes labelled as such by everyone I know. I will be sure to let you know how it turns out. In the meantime I will do my best to not make myself completely nuts :dizzy: Thanks again! And best of wishes to you as well.
Misty

I'd also like to add best wishes, and that its nice to know there are more worriers like me.

:bouncing:
Well I got the results back today. Non-reactive! Negative! I cannot describe the release of tension. A hard lesson learned for sure. I can honestly say I have a whole new outlook on relationships and sexuality. Thanks for the well wishes.

Misty

Congratulations !!!!!

congrats! must feel great. I am waiting for my 6-month definitive test in about 3 weeks. Driving myself crazy, on and off.