Hi,

I have a concern with respect to my daughter who is 11.

She has about a medium build for a child her age, she stands about 5'5 and weighs around 120lbs.

Out of nowhere now she is looking at the fat grams of everything in the house, doing jumping jacks during commercials of the shows she's watching on TV, and begging me to allow her to join the gym with her. I myself am not large at all but have never focused on any of the above when it comes to her. I always made an effort to keep things like that low-key. (if I was making an effort I never discussed it aloud, I didn't want to give her any type of distorted body image)

I am wondering if I have cause for concern or if she is just trying to be healthy. I am afraid that what is starting may snowball in time and become problematic.

I hope some of you have been faced with similar occurances and can offer me some tips of what to watch for or let me know if I should be as worried as I already am. I'd appreciate any help you can offer.

Thanks in advance.
Allie

Allie~

I don't want to scare you, but that's exactly how my eating disorder started. There were other things also, but I definitely did the things your daughter is doing right now. I was about her age too. It didn't really get bad until I was 16 or 17. Now I'm 18, and it is at it's worst. Even at such a young age I knew that if I burned more calories than I took in, I would lose weight. Unfortunately, I'm not too good with advice right now. If I was, I would give myself some. Maybe I would gain some weight. But I'm almost positive someone on these boards has some great advice to give you. They always do.

Also - what classes is she currently taking & what are they teaching? When my daughter was younger & they taught health issues in school she would all of a sudden be "into" fat/calories/carbs/exercise. This lasted about as long as the lesson.
This is not to say that your daughter may not have an eating disorder or maybe she is just having an image problem - she is fast becoming a teen.
I wish I had some good advice about what to do, but I also don't. If you really feel she may have a problem, get in touch with someone at Overeaters Anonymous. They may be able to help.

It may also just be that she's hit an age where being thin, dieting, and exercizing is the "cool" thing to do. It's a really unfortunate trend nowadays. It might be good just to talk to her about where the new interest is coming from and maybe you can work together with her to be healthy about eating and exercizing. And I've read that it's a lot better for a kid to join a sport or other activity than joining a gym.. being on a treadmill or stairmaster can make it really easy to obsess about how many calories you've burned. So maybe you could encourage her to play soccer or softball.. or simply do active stuff together on the weekends. Anyways, that's my two cents. I'd say it's the perfect time to intervene and have a good discussion with her!

I would like to add in with some of the other great comments is you know your daughter better than anyone else and a mother has a "mothers intuition" and should never be taken lightly. If you feel this is a problem then most likely it is. I am a mother and I am telling you now, go by your gut feeling. If you think you are not sure then i would still talk to a dr. about this. Time to stop it is now.. exercise is never a bad thing unless it is an obsession. It does sound like she may developing an issue but it could be because of her friends or a class at school, nonetheless, i would still get a professional opinion on this. Counting fat grams at the age of 11 isn't what most 11 yr olds do, however, it may be if that is what is being taught in health. I would definately check more into it even if it is just watching for the time being.
good luck,
wish

Thank you all so much.

I think in her Lifestyles class in school they have discussed fat/calories and the like. I think the reason why there is a lot of focus on things like this much more now than say, 10 years ago is because of all the hype about childhood obesity. It is unfortunate that through this step of attempting to change the eating habits of unhealthy, inactive children, it sets up the average ones to question what they are doing as well, especially if some of their friends slightly smaller than them.

I am planning a question and answer period with her tonight, but when I asked her before why there was this sudden interest with the gym and she said "because it's fun, I love doing cardio". I was surprised she even knew the term "cardio". It was a concern for me because obviously she has learned that cardio burns fat. My plan is to ask her where she learned it, and go from there.

I hadn't though about the machines keeping track of calories and having obession with numbers, until it was mentioned here. That was a really great tip. You guys are full of so much information and I appreciate it so much. It is such a help. I'll keep posting about how this progresses and appreciate anything further you may have to offer with respect to this.

Allie

hey how did it go?

Hope it went ok xoxox

Our talk went really well.

I asked her why all of a sudden she wants to do these things, count grams, go to the gym, etc. She told me because she wants to lose weight. When I asked her what was wrong with the way she is now, she didn't really have an answer for me.

I told her that she doesn't need to watch her fat grams, that I do it for her in the foods I make everyday. I also told her that she doesn't need to go to the gym but rather could join me in doing Pilates 3 days a week here at home. She agreed to do it, but has yet to. It seems the obsession is dwindling, especially with the gym thing but I'm not fool enough to believe it's gone for good. I think she still secretly checks fat grams, but I see her eating healthy amounts of food.

I'm still watching her very closely and monitoring what she takes for lunch to school, etc. I'll stay on top of it and keep everyone iformed. Once again thanks for your help!

Allie