OK, I had unprotected sex approximately six years ago at a friend's college. It was a one night stand with a girl I didn't know, and haven't seen since. She seemed like a respectable girl, but was really quick to get in the sack. Now I don't mean any offense by that - I really don't, she was no easier than me I suppose. She also had sex with my friend that night.

This girl was nice, and we probably chatted a little more after than before. I was drunk and flat out asked her, trying to be slightly humourous, if she had any STDs. She knew I was sorta joking, but answered anyway telling me that she had had a boyfriend for the past year. None of this really matters - I know.

Anyway, for a long while after I was really paranoid about STDs - namely HIV. No real 'symptoms' ever showed up. I did get very stressed, and formed what I think was a stomach ulcer, which I might be mistaking for a symptom - I don't know? This past year I had my appendicts removed, so it might have been related to that. Oh, and I did develop a case of coldsores which came a year or so after the encounter. This definitely scares me a bit.

Anyway, I've continued to think about this counter over the years. And during this past holiday I felt I got my worst scare. My girlfriend (whom I should have never had sex with without me getting tested first) came down with a terrible flu that led her to losing some vision temporarily in one of her eyes. She fully recovered two weeks later. She just went in to get blood work done b/c they don't know what she had. I've only on rare occasion had unprotected sex with her (almost all anal though - which is riskier right?). So now she's getting her bloodwork back in a couple weeks, and I'm scared stiff.

I've started getting the same stomach pains I got a couple years back. I need relief. I'm getting some bloodwork of my own done next week, so I'll know forsure then, but until then how can I cope with the stress? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Well, I don't have anything in particular to offer to help you feel OK about things until you do get tested except to say that all of this worry you are putting yourself through will not change a thing - whether the outcome is good or bad, nothing will change between now and the time you get the test results by worrying, besides making yourself ill from the stress~

Have you ever donated blood? If so, you would not be allowed to donate blood if they found you had AIDS. They would of informed you...

I truly feel you are fine - chances are you aren't positive for AIDS if what you say about your past is true. Of course there is a slight chance since all unprotected :nono: sexual encounters run that risk, but looking at the chances here, you are fine, I'm sure. ;)

Stop worrying, get tested and you will be all set! Please post back and let us know how you made out!

Thanks for the above message.

I just feel like such a jerk. Do a lot of people still go out and have unprotected sex? I did it this one time, and I've felt like such a massive massive ******* for possibly exposing myself and my girlfriend ever since. I love this girl so much, and I will absolutely die if I've done anything to harm her.

I was also wondering, what are the most commonly spread STDs? How high is HIV on the list?

Thanks for the above message.

I just feel like such a jerk. Do a lot of people still go out and have unprotected sex? I did it this one time, and I've felt like such a massive massive ******* for possibly exposing myself and my girlfriend ever since. I love this girl so much, and I will absolutely die if I've done anything to harm her.

I was also wondering, what are the most commonly spread STDs? How high is HIV on the list?

Yes, unfortuantely, there still are a lot of people out there who have intimate contact without proper protection, better then it was years ago, but it is still a problem if you look at the statistics. Then you have some people who WANT to be exposed to AIDS - apparently, there are websites that are used for people who want to be exposed to AIDS to go to - from there a party is set up and all the ones wanting to be exposed, attend and all the ones doing the exposing give them what they want - unbelieveable!

Most commonly spread STD's are gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis. All, of course, are bacterial diseases that are spread from person to person. There are numerous fungal infections that can also be spread, and there are viral infections, some of which have lifelong consequences associated with them: herpes -- which, once you're infected with, you're infected for life, as is true of most of the viral infections. Other viral infections also occur, CMV -- cytomegalovirus -- is also a sexually transmitted disease. Epstein-Barr virus can be a sexually transmitted disease. While most of us associate hepatitis B virus or hepatitis C virus with the liver, it also can be effectively transmitted sexually and, in fact, the main way that hepatitis B is spread is sexually.

As I said though, according to what you posted as your past, you are at a low risk. Keep yourself calm until you know for sure and once you do, go from there. I am 99% sure your test results will be negative (based on what you have said) but there is always a slight chance, which goes for anyone having sex without protection, obviously, the more partners you have without protection, the higher the chance you have of being positive for a STD and AIDS.

DON'T WORRY!! Get tested and let me know how you make out!! :-)

Sometimes I feel really confident that things will be alright, but when I do I always come crashing back down. I feel like if I am too confident about it that something bad will happen.

The mornings are the worst part of the day. I get so paranoid as soon as I awake in the morning. The first half hour to an hour of my day is constant stress thinking about the possibility of having infected myself and my beautiful girlfriend.

It realy sounds like you're more afraid of infecting some one else than having the infection you're self . YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN !!!!!!
Get tested and go on with you're life . What I can tell you is it certainly sounds like you're driving down the road to a nervous breakdown .
Guilt and parranoia will drive you insane get tested . Get it over with . Stop playing mind games with youreself and most of all stop being you're own worst enemy .
Some times when you're convinced you've lost.
.......... YOU WIN .................
Stop stressing and get tested ............
............ In good health .............
......................... Lost spirit ..............

GAAH -

Here is your morning "DON'T WORRY, YOU AND YOUR GF ARE OK!!" renforcement note - I work for Planned Parenthood and have see many, many others exposed but these people have been with MULTIPLE partners - some are men with men and others are into orgies - what you have done rates VERY low on the possibility of infection. Please, you obviously care and that IS refreshing, however, I hate to see you torment yourself over such a slight chance of infection when I have others with multiple partners who have no worrries at all - I wish the ones that need to worry could have just an ounce of your worry - :) Please, believe me when I say, I am 99% sure, you are OK!!! I am a *** (health care assistance at Planned Parenthood) and see many, many sad cases of STDs. If you were to come and see me, I would tell you that your chances are very small - still a chance b/c you did have unprotected sex, but I would not be worried, not like I am with many others who don't seem to care. :-) Take a deep breath and calm down - have you been tested yet?? If not, please go to your local Planned Parenthood and get thest so you can stop tormenting yourself. It is ALL CONFIDENTIAL and not even your GF needs to know you are coming in for a test. We aren't just about abortion you know!! We offer so much more then that. PLEASE, make an appontmment or walk in. Your torment will be over once you do!


-Pillz

pillzpillzpillz you have been very good to me. You help me ease my worries, and I thank you. I hope that one day I can reassure somebody with worries like you have for me. I am very very thankful for your kind words. I also vow when this is all over to donate at least a small amount of my time to HIV/AIDS projects locally. I feel I must do this. I feel very close to these ppl in suffering.

I just found out what swollen lymph nodes refers to. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is the section where your pubic hair sits. I have had discomfort in that area and I think I had it soon after my questionable experience. It wasn't a ball or anything just a field of very slight discomfort. I am now going insane again. Please pray for me for both my sanity and my status.

I don't understand why you are doing this to yourself. I don't underdtand why you can not realize that the chance of you having HIV is so very slim. and i especially don't understand why you won't seek medical help for this on the mental side. please don't take what i say wrong, i have been in your shoes and i know how horrible it was. but i also did something about it. it seems that your symptoms of anxiety are, by in large, your biggest enemy right now. there are meds out there that can help you through this rough time and help the wheels slow down a bit. i had to be medicated for 4 months with xanax because my anxiety and panic took over my life. i was a new mother and diagnosed with a very rare infection mainly seen in AIDS patients. when i was tested i thought for sure i was + as only 4% of people with this infection don't have AIDS or Leukemia. well guess what, i am negative. but having the poo scared out of you with a very real threat will send ANYONE into a tail spin. talk to someone about your fears and take control of this situation. get the right kind of help and do not look up symptoms any further. only you can stop this cycle!!!!!

My girlfriend just told me she has UVitus (sp?). A problem in the eye that occurs to 1 of 10000 ppl. It got me thinking about the slim chances of having HIV again, and how slim doesn't mean exempt. Sometimes I understand how slim it is, but I have such guilt inside of me - it tears me up. I feel like I am being punished with this horrible disease. I am so scared. And work was horrible today too. Things feel like they're crashing down on me. I don't know. I just don't know.

Thanks nyxin for your kind words. They do mean a lot to me.

I just found out what swollen lymph nodes refers to. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is the section where your pubic hair sits. I have had discomfort in that area and I think I had it soon after my questionable experience. It wasn't a ball or anything just a field of very slight discomfort. I am now going insane again. Please pray for me for both my sanity and my status.
I can see you are in need of me again !! :) You are fine. Why haven't you gone to the Dr.'s yet? Being scared has kept many men (I say men b/c they often will wait longer then women before going for help) from seeking treatment. Especially when it comes to colon and or testicular issues. Swollen lymph nodes could be a sign of a simple STD - NOT AIDS. You may very well have a TREATABLE STD - if that. I can't see you or examine you so I can't tell you for sure, but AGAIN, based on what you have said, the likelihood of you getting AIDS from this college girl who was in a monogamous relationship, would have given you AIDS. If I lived near you I would go with you. What can I do to encourage you to get treatment??? Can I be on a cell phone while you go?? Tell me how I can help you get checked out and reassured, what I already know, which is YOU ARE OK!! :)

Thanks again Pillz. I am starting to believe you that the likelihood is small, but i hate these worst case scenarios that run thru my head. I'll wake in the middle of the night or in the morning with these panic attacks. I have had sex with two girls in my entire life, and I am scared of this one. She seemed fine (like one can really tell), and she claimed to be in a relationship, but I really don't know that many girls that are willing or want to have sex with two guys in the same night. She wouldn't have been somebody I would have suspected, but... Not to put her down either (like she cares, wherever she is), and I know that sex with two different girls in the same night would be or would have been a dream come true once upon a time for me, but I run these things thru my head. I feel terrible guilt too. I was cheating on my girlfriend that night. I don't ever want to forget this pain of guilt. I want to take this with me, and make it a real lesson (which trust me it already has been). Talking to you on the phone might be really excellent actually.

Hey there - I think that remembering that you felt terrible about cheating on your GF is OK to do (especially if you find yourself in a situation where this could happen again, even though I don't think you would ever do it again :), but to continually beat yourself up is not productive. You learned that you felt horrible for doing it, you learned how much you really love your girlfriend and last but NOT LEAST, how dangerous this type of behavior can be.
{{{{NO PERSONAL CONTACT ALLOWED.}}}}******I am happy to talk with you on the phone anytime. I just don't want to post my number here ;) so, PM me if you would like to talk further. Are you going to go get checked? I was serious about being on the phone with you (if you have a cell) while you wait etc. I can purchase a prepaid calling card and we can chat etc. I have no idea what state you are in...Wouldn’t it be ironic if we lived in the same state!? Anyway, I believe you can private message me from this board; so if you would like to have a phone conversation, feel free to let me know.******

----Please note that any personal contact attempt will result in a banning.---

-Pillz

wow... you just completely descirbed my situation to a T. When i was 17 or 18, i cheated on my girlfriend at the time (i feel terrible that this ever happened and i wish it never had) with another girl who i ended up getting together with. she was my new girlfriend for like 5 months. i had unprotected sex with her a lot of times, but dont get me wrong i did use condoms a fair amount too. but being a young stupid kid from a small town i never figured that i would end up regretting it... now i very much do. anyways long story short after we had broken up i discovered that she had cheated on my a LOT, with girls even. i also found out that she had had sex with a couple guys who may be bisexual, and i cant doubt it because she is bisexual herself.... this is what scares me the most. anyways that was several years ago... now i have a beautiful amazing girlfriend whos completely in love with me and trustworthy as they come. she was a virgin, but we have had sex (weve been together almost a year). she asked me to get tested for STDs, so i went out and made an appointment for bloodwork, including an HIV test. now i keep noticing symptoms, ive noticed them before but didnt really think anything of it until she asked me to get tested. so i did some research on it (and i guess it wasnt the best idea, because it made me worry soooo much, worrying myself to death), i have swollen lymph glands that have persisted for a long time (i kept making excuses like well i was really sick last year for a period (couldnt have been ARS i dont think because i hadnt had sex with really anyone for quite some time before and after that (long distance relationship)), then i had some injuries cuts and scrapes due to a snowboarding incident. so i always had something that could explain it. i also get red patches on my chest sometimes. like dots and bloches of redness. ive also noticed little white bumps on my penis (but i went to a doctor who told me i was fine and discouraged me from getting tested for HIV due to life insurance policies etc, and said that he didnt think i had it.) he took a swab (shudder) and i tested negative for whatever i was tested for. that put me at ease for quite some time, but now im scared again and im worrying myself to death. im know i must have some sort of STD, butim worried it might be HIV. I dont know what to do. im going to get tested either way because it is just lingering on my mind and bothering me a lot. but im soooo scared, what if i test positive? it would destroy my life and everything ive ever lived for, but worst of all what if i destroy her life and dreams by giving her HIV? all i can do is get tested and wait and hope for the best. im so scared because its a small town that i live in and i know that if i had to inform her of it that eventually everyone in town would know eventually. someone would tell someone ---> everyone knows.... its driving me sooo crazy. to the point where i think of suicide fairly often... but then i think that everything ive ever known and made me happy would be lost forever and i think of how my family would feel and my friends, and my girlfriend. i couldnt bear to have her think that i just commited suicide or something, i know shed take that as that she didnt make me happy enough, which is exactly the opposite she makes me happier than anything ever has in my life... but then again i think... what if i gave her HIV would she completely regret ever meeting me and never talk to me again until the day i die? its so hard to deal with thoughts like this. it hurts me so much that i am now prescribed anti-depressants (well theres a lot more to it but thats a contributing factor). but anyways the bottom line is, dont beat yourself up over it, and try to think happy things while you go in to get tested.... thats what im goinna do....

so all i can do is hope for the best. but i read some stuff on here and read some stories people have about how they "know they have it" (exactly how i felt) until i read stories about people who have similar symptoms but test negative. it gives me hope that maybe im just making it out bigger than it has to be. i really hope so. and i wish you the best of luck. do yourself the favor and just get tested. its the only way to know.

GOOD LUCK I wish you all the best.

z150 - can I play devils advocate here? Let's say you get tested for HIV and test positive. You are aware that people live MANY MANY YEARS with HIV and do not get full blown AIDS and the sooner you know, the better b/c the medications have been proven to work very well early on in the infection- - Let's say you infect your gf as well. If she feels the same way about you as you do her, she may at first be very angry, but I believe that after she had time to think, she would realize that this happened well before her time and you would have NEVER intentionally hurt her this way. I believe she would then stay with you as was planned anyway.

This of course is HYPOTHETICAL - do you have AIDS...I don't know, but you can't put the cart before the horse. You must get tested, not only for yourself, but for your GF too and then deal with whatever the results are from there. People get many illnesses that mimic AIDS everyday - if everyone went to get an HIV test every time they had a rash and swollen lymph nodes there wouldn't be enough tests to go around. Early intervention is key to success, not only with AIDS but with may other diseases as well.

Let me tell you something. 14 years ago I was diagnosed with a very rare form of Ovarian Cancer called small cell and was told I would likely die within the first year. Cancer treatments are no picnic but had I decided to end it all after I had been told (and I thought about it rather then watch my family slowly die with me emotionally) I would have died and shortened my life by 14 years at least - - tomorrow is NOT promised to any one of us. This is why I didn't do it. I thought about the fact that at least I knew what I had and if I did die, I would have time to say my good byes where some people aren't as lucky and are killed in car accidents without being able to mend fences or tell someone they love, how much they love them etc.

Please get tested. If not for you, for your GF. If HIV is something you have, she has a right to know too so she can take her course of action as well. It sounds like if the roles were reversed, she would do it for you. Please don't be upset by what I just wrote - I just want you to get the help you need and the GF too, IF there is any reason to get help which I am sure you are FINE!!! Just think of the relief you will have when the test comes back NEGATIVE :)

-Pillz

hey thanks for the advice. i wasnt overly suggesting that my plan of action was for suicide. at least thats not what i meant if i came across like that. although sometimes it is an automatic reaction to think like that however i couldnt physically do it to myself. i just think about how. well what if i did then they found a cure 5 yrs down the road or something? that would be a damn shame. but i do suffer heavily from depression, so i think that some of my symptoms could be accounted for with that. but im hopeful anyways. i was also told by my doctor that there are no cases or next to no cases of hiv/aids in my area, and ive only slept with different 9 girls in my lifetime all of which were from my area, more than half were one time things, and i had used condoms with half of those 9 too. (i know its stupid, but one thing is for sure that im never going to make the mistake of having un protected sex AGAIN!) so im definetly very hopeful, and i have a feeling that it might be something else. what? i dont know. but im trying to find out. I know that my great grandfather died 2 or 3 years ago of leukemia, and a 16 year old girl from my town (small town) recently died of leukemia as well. although my doctor told me my pelvic lymph glands were not swollen to the same profile or size or whatever of typical lymphomas etc. but im still optimistic, and have taken NO offense to your words, they are encouraging. and i know you are completely right, my girlfriend has every right to know as much as i do. and when she asked me to get tested i didnt contest it. i knew it was the right thing to do. its just hard to wait because my thoughts race like mad, and i usually get the worst case scenario running through my head.... due in large part to manic depression. but i know i have an obligation now to have all of this taken care of and its already underway, so its going to be done. i just hope the wait doesnt last too long. thank you very much for your advice i very much appreciate it. and i commend you for your courage in making it through your run in with cancer. you are a very strong person. your words give me confidence and courage as well. :)

Hey z150 - I can't help but have a ton of comapssion for you and all others worried about AIDS - sex can be an intimate loving thing and to think there can be something so horrific tied to what can be such a beautiful thing is really too bad. Having sex (unprotected or protected) isn't a terrible thing, it is so natural for human beings to be attracted to someone and to want to be with that person in every way.

Anyway, good luck. I feel strongly you will be OK and so will your GF :)

-Pillz

My girl is OK! I can move on. Now I've gotta get tested, but if I have it, as awful as it would be, at least my girl is OK!

My girl is OK! I can move on. Now I've gotta get tested, but if I have it, as awful as it would be, at least my girl is OK!

Yay!! GAAH, I am now even MORE convinced you are fine, I was laredy 95% sure you didn't have AIDS (based on what you told me) but now that your girl is fine, likely you are too!! Let's face it, you have had unprotected sex with your girl probably hundreds of times, she tests negative for STDS/AIDS so you will likely be negative too - now I am 99% sure you are fine :wave:

GREAT NEWS!! Thanks for following up!!

-Pillz