Hey everyone. Sorry I have not posted in a while, i've not been at home.

How are you all doing?

I have a problem. there is a guy I have known at school for 3 years. We dated b i didnt ls long cus he didnt tust me around my guy mates (which bugged me cus we were just friends). But yeah, he claims he still cares and askd if we could stay friends. Thing is he seems only to talk to me to wind me up. Whenever I say that to him he comes back with 'well you say stuff back!' So, girls tell me, am I expected to roll over and let him offend me none stop? Take today for example, going into tech and talking about a few weeks ago when him and another guy had been jipping me off calling me pregnant (tht was another incident from before where he started calling me a **** and told my physics teacher I was expecting twins. I didnt say anything back. At all. I laughed) but anyway, someone brought that up and as we were going in he goes "I didnt say you were pregnant, I said you looked as if you could be." Now, he would be the guy with the loud voice wouldnt he. there are 3 girls (including me) in my tech group so the 20 odd guys were all going "you guna take tht, I think you should slap him" etc like teen guys do. But I didnt, I laughed and walked off even though I was so upset.

But my tech teacher had heard and asked me to go wait for him in his office. so theres me thinking I was guna get a lecture on under age sex (for some reason teachers tend to believe the insults that get thrown at me even though 99% of them are totally made up) but he came in saying how mad he was with this guy for making that comment. Then he said (I quote) "Look at the amount of anorexic people in this world, is that not enough without adding to the problem" and went on about how he thought I was just fine the way I was and to ignore this guy etc and said if I wanted him to talk to him I would. And did I say yes? No. Because I knew (thought) this guy was jsut messing around and I dont like getting poeple into trouble.

So I ate nothing at school. After school I was going up the escalators from teh bus station with this guy and he said "How come while the others were eating lunch you jsut had a bottle of water, AND when they were eating breakfast. Did you eat like nothing at all today?" and laughed because having a monster appetite he cant understand how people can go for longer than an hour without eating. So I said "No actually, I didnt eat today." And he looked genuinely shocked and asked why so I replied I was on a diet. He looked more shocked and asked why and I said wel you're the one who called me fat you work it out and walked off. So his friend logs onto msn tonight saying I have upset this guy a lot and he is claiming he didnt say it and this mate of his reckons I owe him an apology. Maybe I am being selfish and bitchy but how dare he say that? He knows I am ultra sensitive about my weight, he has made jokes about it on purpose before to wind me up, JUST like today. Now he's playing the victim. Everytime I tell him I am not interested in talking to him anymore he thinks I am joking and carries on winding me up anyway. Plus he hangs around in the same group as me so I cant afford to not talk to him.

I ate 800 calories today and feel so bad for it. It is my birthday soon and I promised myself i will loose 10lbs and be confidently into a nice dress for my birthday cus i have mates coming over for a meal and if I dont lose the weight I am postponing my birthday. That is how bad this guy has made me feel.

I have just spent an hour and 45 minutes (ish) crying about it and still feel bad.

He has done this before and I dont understand why he does it and then says he cares and doesnt want to hurt me. I am very cofused.

xoxoxox

Hi Emily -
I am so sorry to hear this story!!! He is such a jerk! It is so terrible that people can be so cruel and then be utterly shocked when you admit they upset you?!? I dont understand it.
My advice would be to loose some weight if you really think it will make you feel better but do it the right way, NOT by starving yourself. When is your Birthday?? With a good diet and exercise plan you can drop 10 lbs in no time w/ out harming your body!!!
Everything will be OK, no worries and DO NOT feel bad that he feels bad, hes a big boy and he shouldnt get pitty for doing or saying something he obviously knows was wrong!!
Just make sure you are loosing weight for yourself not this wise ***, b/c he doesn't sound like he is all your sweat & tears. Your too good for that. :)
I am here for ya
Jade :angel:

It is 14 days until my birthday.

The thing is with this guy is he is blunt and doesnt think things through. I know what he said he didnt believe. He told me that and I do believe it because he's done it before and I spent 3 days yelling at him asking him why he said it if he didnt mean it. I know that was kinda harsh but I am very sensitive about my weight. The thing is. I was really close to him. He knows I am super sensitive about my weight the same way I know he is a nice guy, I know i have made him sound like one but he really isnt a jerk, he can be really sweet. Thats why it hurts so much. If he was a jerk it would have made it a lot easier to disreguard.

I have spent most of today in tears and then I binged but even though I've binged I still havent eaten the recommended amount of caolries. I am planning fasts and restrictions all over the place and this bothers me because I was doing so well.

I even accidentally slipped to a friend that I was on a very strict diet and when she asked why I told her ecause I wanted to be thin enough for no one to call me fat again. That was stupid, I would never normally say stuff like that, poeple are then watching you, making sure you are at least eating something.

I was in tears today thinking about it and this guy logged on to msn and I was talking to him and I didnt say anything about how much he'd hurt me, I spoke to him normally and he didn't mention it. Yet I didnt say anything. Why am I so scared of hurting him after he hurt me so much without even thinking twice?

Thanks for being so sweet Jade :) and even though I sat and read what you said, it is so much easier to believe him. It is so true that bad things are so much easier to believe.

xoxoxox

Hey Emily!

Well Happy Birthday for two weeks time! I hope you have a great day and feel great, I often think of birthdays as a chance for a new beginning, like I was coming off my anti-depressants and managed to be off them by my 18th birthday, I was so proud of that! It gives you a chance to think things over and have a fresh start. I hope your next year is a good one :)

Right then, let's deal with this guy you're having trouble with. First off, teenage guys are nearly all idiots at some point or other. It's true that you get teased mercilessly by the guys who fancy you - they're too shy to just ask you out or be nice to you for fear of rejection, so instead most of them just tease you. It's stupid but true - they think that by doing this it gives them the upper hand and the control, and they still get to spend time with you and talk to you. Then all their mates jump on the bandwagon because let's face it, most boys like having a laugh. If they think you enjoy it then they'll do it even more (because it may mean there's a chance you like them and find them funny) and if they don't think you enjoy it then they'll do it even more because they think they can get away with it.

I had to deal with this for a number of years around your age. I started off trying to go along with the jokes but in the end I got so fed up with them I yelled at them, but then they found that so funny they carried on and it got even worse. It's a difficult thing to deal with; if you make them feel like their joke actually isn't funny and no one is laughing at them, this may get them to stop. By saying to the guy what you said about not having eaten all day, what you've done there is to make him feel guilty, and make the situation serious. So now that he's feeling guilty about what he said, he's trying to back out of it by making it YOUR fault. Don't stand for this!!! This guy is a wimp if he can't even admit that he's wrong. If you can, talk to him about it nd explain that you've done nothing wrong and you're not apologising for anything. If you don't think you can talk to him, are there other friends you can talk to? You could try to distance yourself from him and he may give up with his teasing.

Whatever happens, please don't let this idiot guy affect your self esteem. It's not worth it. He's not teasing you because he thinks you're overweight. He probably feels that he can get away with the 'you look like you're pregnant' comments because you're skinny. Spend your time with other people who make you feel good about yourself. I know you said he's in the same group as you but there are generally groups within groups, so stay away from him whenever you can. Oh yeah, and by the way, you're no way bitchy or selfish!!! You're just a much nicer person than a lot of people around these days, and it's just a shame that it's usually the nicer people who have to put up with the **** from the idiots.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...I'm not very good at just getting to the point for which I apologise, but I hope some of this helps! You probably already know this but I bet you don't need to lose 10lbs :) I hope you're doing okay Ems, give us an update when you can. :wave:

Hugs,
Lucy xxx