lacydog
02-28-2005, 08:48 PM
Can someone please help me? My family is falling apart. My sister has claimed she has crippling ocd, but I know for a fact that she is a bad drug addict. I just don't know if she has ocd at all. She has been a bad druggie for over 25 years. One of the drugs of choice is speed and that causes her to have EXTREME obsessive behavior (as well as others I've known to be on it) and others in my family swear she has ocd and is not on drugs. She can't leave the house for anything except for a pain dr. appt or to go gambling or do anything else self destructive. She stays out all night and sleeps all day despite the fact that she has a husband and little boy. She's now facing legal trouble and there's a chance of losing her son, yet will not get help for the drugs. She swears it's all ocd yet won't get counseling "I can't make it there" we've heard that for years and I'm at the end. Before I throw my hands up and totally give up on her I need to know if this sounds at all like it could be ocd???!!! She also has had an eating disorder for 28 years. (anorexia and bolemia-I hope I spelled it right) I love her and I don't want to give up on her I just don't know what to do. She won't help herself, and her husband is totally enabling...ugh!!! :eek:
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Rark
03-01-2005, 02:04 PM
Coming from a family of addiction, I can really sympathize. I worried myself to the point where I felt a constant physical anguish for my syblings' addictions. I felt like I was in this black pit, completely alone and hopeless but REFUSED to give up (after all, how could you just go and GIVE UP, right?).
But the sad truth is there is only so much you can do. You can offer help, you can let them know you are there for support...and that's about it. Only THEY can realize their problem for themselves and only THEY can make themselves want help. An intervention may be helpful, but it seems she's already well aware of her problem.
Maybe a last ditch effort of pleading with her about her child could help, but addiction is a hard thing to overcome no matter how hard the person may despise themself for it.
OCD sounds like nothing but an excuse for her bad habits. The only valid argument for OCD leading to drug abuse is that the person's OCD is crippiling to their life and they need the drugs to escape the stress of their mind...But the fact is, the stress YOU feel for her is everything and probably WORSE than anything OCD could have her go through--and this is coming from someone who has experienced both plagues. The REASONS for starting drugs are irrelevant (even if justifiable). The fact remains that they started and now they need help.
If her OCD is somehow inclining her to use drugs (not likely AT ALL. Even if that was the case, the addiction to the drug itself would overpower and nullify the initial OCD telling her to take the drugs), she still needs to go through the proper drug relief channels and then can work on some OCD therapy.
I am beyond sorry for what you have to face and wish you the best of luck!
But the sad truth is there is only so much you can do. You can offer help, you can let them know you are there for support...and that's about it. Only THEY can realize their problem for themselves and only THEY can make themselves want help. An intervention may be helpful, but it seems she's already well aware of her problem.
Maybe a last ditch effort of pleading with her about her child could help, but addiction is a hard thing to overcome no matter how hard the person may despise themself for it.
OCD sounds like nothing but an excuse for her bad habits. The only valid argument for OCD leading to drug abuse is that the person's OCD is crippiling to their life and they need the drugs to escape the stress of their mind...But the fact is, the stress YOU feel for her is everything and probably WORSE than anything OCD could have her go through--and this is coming from someone who has experienced both plagues. The REASONS for starting drugs are irrelevant (even if justifiable). The fact remains that they started and now they need help.
If her OCD is somehow inclining her to use drugs (not likely AT ALL. Even if that was the case, the addiction to the drug itself would overpower and nullify the initial OCD telling her to take the drugs), she still needs to go through the proper drug relief channels and then can work on some OCD therapy.
I am beyond sorry for what you have to face and wish you the best of luck!
lacydog
03-01-2005, 02:56 PM
Thank you so much for your reply!!!! I've been feeling so very alone. I know I said I'm ready to give up on her, but I really won't do it. I can't..I love her. She's my family. We can't help her with her ocd, or know how bad it is, until we get her off of all the crap. We've tried interventions. I really appreciate your kindness and suppport. Thanks. Good luck to you.
Rark
03-02-2005, 01:12 AM
I'm glad to hear it! I just want to make clear two points:
1. I hope I didn't imply that you didn't love her enough to NOT give up on her, or anything for the sort. I meant to show that even though you feel exhausted to the brink that you'll probably be unable to give up on her because of the love you have for her. BUT, this doesn't mean you need to CONSTANTLY be worrying your stomach into knots in order to be a good sybling. You can only do so much, and after that you can only be willing to be there for her after SHE accepts the fact she needs help.
2. If she doesn't clean up her act (or at least don't work out for a long while, as was/is the case with me), please remember that this is in NO WAY your fault. You've done everything and more than a person could be expected of and still keep at it. I know all the logic in the world can't stand up to the fact that you love your sister and can't let go of at least the idea of protecting her, but maybe hearing it from someone who's been through a similar mess will help console you if things get too bleak. Good luck, again!
1. I hope I didn't imply that you didn't love her enough to NOT give up on her, or anything for the sort. I meant to show that even though you feel exhausted to the brink that you'll probably be unable to give up on her because of the love you have for her. BUT, this doesn't mean you need to CONSTANTLY be worrying your stomach into knots in order to be a good sybling. You can only do so much, and after that you can only be willing to be there for her after SHE accepts the fact she needs help.
2. If she doesn't clean up her act (or at least don't work out for a long while, as was/is the case with me), please remember that this is in NO WAY your fault. You've done everything and more than a person could be expected of and still keep at it. I know all the logic in the world can't stand up to the fact that you love your sister and can't let go of at least the idea of protecting her, but maybe hearing it from someone who's been through a similar mess will help console you if things get too bleak. Good luck, again!
nateislate
03-02-2005, 11:23 AM
In no way do I wish to contradict the other responders, and you definitely need to look after yourself first. I just want to stress that your sister is troubled, and has been for some time. The drugs, eating disorder, fear of going to the doc -- they're likely symptoms of a deeper problem. You say you love her, and she's not a bad person. She just doesn't know how to get by. Her symptoms are ways that she tries to cope with the world as she sees it.
I don't know if this is possible, but maybe you could talk to her about why she doesn't go to counseling. If it's fear, find out what she's afraid of, then take steps to aleviate the fear. Not going to the doc is a symptom. You can't force her to go, just realize that she creates barriers to going... Then work on removing the barriers.
Best wishes to everyone involved.
I don't know if this is possible, but maybe you could talk to her about why she doesn't go to counseling. If it's fear, find out what she's afraid of, then take steps to aleviate the fear. Not going to the doc is a symptom. You can't force her to go, just realize that she creates barriers to going... Then work on removing the barriers.
Best wishes to everyone involved.