Thanks alot for your help. It gives me a bit of hope. I was so elated when I realized that the was a name for what was happening to me and that there was medication and therapy to help, but now I'm left feeling very hopeless.

I maybe read too much. I think I'm really confused now. I don't have any rituals - I'm much more obsessional and everything I obsess about is some form of an insecurity - I know that this form is harder to treat and that scares me.

I also abused meds so now I can't trust myself with anything to relieve acute anxiety and I have NO idea how to live like this. I have an appointment with my shrink tomorrow - so hopefully he can clear some of this up. He tried me on Anafranil right away after he realized that I had OCD, but I had a majorly bad reaction to the first small does so I'm still on a strictly antidepressant.

I feel awful - and very disillusioned.

Thanks agian for your help guys.

Tori