Hey everyone
Well tonight i went out to eat with one of my really really close guy friends. He is the only person who knows about what i am going through,(to some extent,) and i have told him not to comment on my eating habits because im extremely sensitive towards the subject. We were at the table, and he had to make a comment about almost EVERYTHING. It started with the appetizer, then a comment about me not touching the bread, then about me picking at my entree. And the thing was, i WAS eating!! I finally could not take it anymore and told him that i know what i can eat and what i cant eat and just to leave me alone! Well now he is mad because I "ruined the night" and i am sad that this stupid ed has gotten in the way of a good night, but shouldnt he try and be a little more supportive instead of constantly nagging and reminding me of the situation that already constantly nags and reminds me every second of the day!?! please girls, i need some support i am really depressed and feel alone right now!!
Liza

Hey Liza

I'm sorry this guy gave you a hard time. We give ourselves enough of a hard time without other people doing it as well. If he knows how sensitive you are about food then yes, he should be encouraging you when you're eating - I mean, it's a big enough step to go out for a meal in public, I'm damn proud of ya!! If he gives you a hard time again just tell him to be quiet and that if he doesn't have anything constructive to say then not to bother. If YOU are making the effort to eat and are doing well, then it doesn't matter what other people say. Only you know what progress you're making, so ignore comments from anyone else if they're not constructive! If this guy brings up the subject again then explain to him, even if you have done already, that you would find it more helpful if he didn't make comments on what you're eating. I know that just someone looking at what i'm eating can be enough to put me off, let alone comments...so I can understand why you're upset by it. Don't let it get you down though for too long or you'll undo all the good work you've done!!

It'll be okay Liza, don't stress it :) Let me know how you're getting on.
Loadsa big hugs!
Juicy xxx

Thanks so much juicy!! Im glad you understand how hard it actually was to go out to eat for me. Ive come to the realization that he really has absolutley NO CLUE what im going through. We work together, and today at work i commented on feeling a little off and one of my coworker said, maybe its something you ate... and he said, " oh dont even comment on the things she eats!!" i could not belive he actually said this! i just stayed quiet and acted like it didnt bother me. But for him to actually say that means he has no idea what im going through so im just not going to share anymore with him about it. Thanks again juicy for responding, it means alot that someone else understands!!
Liza

You asked him not to comment, yet he did and rudely, from the sound if it. And then he says YOU ruined the night. This guy has his own problems. And he has no clue. Move on, Liza2. I'm sure you can find a better supportive person. You may have felt really really close to him, but keeping him close to you sounds like it will be detrimental. Put him at arms length... or further.

i agree, if i were u i would have punched this guy in his face! haha, no no, thats harsh, but no, id be upset. i think u should actually talk to him about it tho. tell him what ur feeling. i went to a 5 day retreat and all we did was express our feelings and it felt SO god to get everything out! my rents and i can now communicate. if u have ne deep deep feelings about this incident, dont keep it inside of u. if so, ur emotions will build and build and build until u can no longer stand it then "PoP!"
thats just my suggestions neways...

take care hun!!

SammYx0x0x

Hey Liza

I know the work thing. A colleague of mine who's left now once said when some of us were out for lunch (and I was drinking a low-cal hot chocolate and not eating) how we 'had to have a talk' about my eating. Which really made me feel like s***. I already feel awkward enough eating in front of ppl at work without it being drawn to everyone's attention. I can eat okay in front of my mum and sister and boyfriend, and that's about it - even my dad called me 'the porridge monster' this morning when I was helping myself to breakfast. It's those kind of comments that make me want to throw away my food and starve myself for days. Some people just don't understand though; there are those who you can make understand because they want to help you, and there are others who don't want to learn about EDs or else can't be bothered. Those people are best left alone because they won't be constructive or supportive. I'm not saying totally ignore this guy but leave him out of any situations where food is involved if you can. And if he does say anything, just ignore it because he's obviously not the world's most nicest person or an expert of eating disorders.

How are things at the mo with your eating? I've just come through a rough few days of really hating myself quite a lot, and surprisingly it was buying underwear that made me feel better about my figure! I found some gorgeous stuff in the sale and fitted into an XS which made me happy :) and so things are a bit easier for me today. I hope you're doing okay and feeding yourself because you deserve it Liza!

Hope to hear from ya soon,
Juicy xxx

Hey guys,
Cazzie- Thanks for the advise, I pretty much have cut him off completley. He makes me feel badly about myself daily and i am tired of it, i dont have to take it anymore.
Sammy- It does make me feel better to be open too. I was extremely open with him after the fact and he still wasnt getting it. I guess some people just never will understand eds no matter how hard they try.
Juicy- Gosh i dont know what i would do if i went to lunch with friends and they did that. Well actually not too long ago i went out to eat with two friends, and just because i didnt touch the chicken in my salad it was a HUGE deal. As far as eating lately, i have to admit that i haven't been doing the greatest. Like i go into the day feeling like today i will eat normal, but then once i eat the smallest thing, i feel so guilty, fat, and ashamed. I just keep saying that after five more pounds everything in my life will be better and more calm, but i know its never enough.
Thanks so much guys for being there for me and responding!!
liza

Hey! Reading this thread has made me feel so much better knowing I 'm not the only one who feels that way when eating in public. Since my friends have known about my ed I have hated every minute of eating in hall at uni. I know they mean well but they just don't seem to get it that as soon as someone looks at me eating or asks me if I have eaten today it makes me want to starve myself even more. I know that must be difficult for them to understand because i know that its the reverse of what they think it will achieve. Why do I feel guilty when i eat in front of them tho coz they want me to eat?? I'm sooo confused and depressed at the moment. Its like ive got everything i want but im ruining it. I wanna talk about my problem because i feel lonely at the moment but at the same time i know my friends are there, willing to listen and to help me but when they say they want to "have a talk about my eating" I freak. I just don't know why im like this. Its taking over my life and i know talking about it would help but i just can't!! Liza, I understand exactly how u feel when in public. I can't give much advice coz i'm the same but if you wanna talk i'm here. Thanks for posting this thread- its helped me.

Im so happy its helped you!
Even little comments that i know aren't meant to mean anything can really bother me. I hate when people ask me what i had for lunch, even if its just casually or just outta curiousity, i feel like they are checking up on me and i feel really uncomfortable. I feel so bad passing on my parents invitaitons everytime to go out to eat with them because as much as i want to spend that time iwth them, i dont like the situation.. and when i just order coffee i get a lecture. Its so frustrating!! thanks for making me feel like im not alone, please keep me posted!
liza