jo905
03-02-2005, 10:47 AM
Just to let you know I will be leaving this message board my baby was born on 25th Feb I was 19 weeks pregnant he had the cord round his neck four times and had been dead 2 weeks apparently although Im sure I felt him kick in between this time. Dont really know what else to say as I am grieving so much it hurts to talk about my experience. I was in labour for half hour and had to be induced We will try again but not just yet as I feel I need time to get over this if anyone knows of anyone else this has happened to please let me know as I feel so unlucky and cant believe this is such a rare thing to happen and that it happened to me
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USPS84
03-02-2005, 10:59 AM
I am so sorry...
This post makes me paranoid! I am 18w, and I always thought the cord was so slippery, it was impossible to wrap that early..
I am assuming there was no sign/feeling of this...it just happened?
Sometimes I forget I am pregnant...Just wondering if you felt different in those last two weeks.
Sorry, again. :(
This post makes me paranoid! I am 18w, and I always thought the cord was so slippery, it was impossible to wrap that early..
I am assuming there was no sign/feeling of this...it just happened?
Sometimes I forget I am pregnant...Just wondering if you felt different in those last two weeks.
Sorry, again. :(
jmcummins3
03-02-2005, 11:02 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could write that would make you feel better, but I am at a loss for what that might be. Take as much time as you need to grieve and take care of yourself.
Jessthemess
03-02-2005, 11:03 AM
I'm sorry this happened to you. That scares me a little too. There have been a few other women on this board with similar situations, but I can't remember names. Maybe they'll find you. I hope you get to feeling better. :wave:
hillaryb
03-02-2005, 11:30 AM
I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks. I know how it feels. I had labor, my water broke, and they induced me as well. Im sorry. I know its little help, but you will feel better someday. :angel:
jo905
03-02-2005, 12:54 PM
They said I was just unlucky and the chances of this happening are so rare but no I never knew my baby had died I went to the Doctor on the Thursday as I hadnt felt any movement since the previous weekend (about 4 days) I was totally un prepared for them to tell me there was no heart beat thought I was being paranoid
tamaraheiner
03-02-2005, 01:40 PM
i understand the feeling paranoid. i thought i was paranoid too. we were excited to have an ultrasound.
this happened to my mother. my brother died at 81/2 months b/c of the cord. my mother was induced and delivered a healthy boy- other than the fact that he was dead. she still grieves and it's been 25 years.
i'm sorry for you. the loss is always painful, i've discovered. never a good time to lose an awaited and wanted loved one.
this happened to my mother. my brother died at 81/2 months b/c of the cord. my mother was induced and delivered a healthy boy- other than the fact that he was dead. she still grieves and it's been 25 years.
i'm sorry for you. the loss is always painful, i've discovered. never a good time to lose an awaited and wanted loved one.
reetu2004
03-04-2005, 12:19 AM
I am sorry for your baby. One of my friend had same issue but it was at 36week. She felt that the baby is not moving. They immediately rushed to the hospital and baby heart bit was low. Doctor suggested immediate c-section. Luckily, baby servived after c-section. I think it difficult to know at 19 week whether baby is moving or not.
I really sorry for you and I disturb too.
Reetu
16w4d
I really sorry for you and I disturb too.
Reetu
16w4d
valleygurl
03-04-2005, 11:37 AM
Jo, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that at this point regardless of what anyone says nothing is going to make you feel better. Experiencing the loss of a child is one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through. I worked in Labor and Delivery for many years and i have seen the same thing you went through happen so many times that i dont care to think about or count. I know that it is a rare occurrance but it happens more than you can imagine.
I also wanted to comment on the statement you had made about your tragedy being so rare and it happening to you. When it comes to ANYTHING bad you always hear people say "IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME", I always tell them "well it can and does happen to unsus pecting people". I know first hand. My last pregnancy i had the feeling for quite sometime that "something" wasnt right, the whole time i was constantly being reassured by my doctor that "everything was fine". I gave birth to my son and immediately after birth he just wasnt acting right and it didnt take long for things to go down hill very rapidly. My son survived, however, he has severe brain damage. My little angel is 8 years old now but he is on a 6 to 8 month old age level.
I know that what i have told you most definately isnt going to make you feel any better. But i wanted to share with you the fact that bad things do happen to good, normal people like us. I never ever dreamed i would have a child whose health was so compromised. This is something i live every single day of my life, not to mention that i never know from one day to the next if my child will even be here, for with his brain damage he is so suseptable to illnesses and he gets sick very fast. He has been on life support and near death several times, as well as children with such severe brain damage as his doesnt have a very long life expectancy. We love him soooo very much and we cherish every moment that we have with him.
Again, i am so very sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation to you, i truely believe everything happens for a reason. I truely belive God has a plan for each and every one of us, so the loss of your precious baby is part of Gods plan for you. It may not seem fair or right or even unclear as to how this could have been part of God's plan, but someday you will get your answers. Just remember this " GOD DOESNT GIVE US ANYMORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE".
With deepest sympathy, ValleyGurl
I also wanted to comment on the statement you had made about your tragedy being so rare and it happening to you. When it comes to ANYTHING bad you always hear people say "IT WONT HAPPEN TO ME", I always tell them "well it can and does happen to unsus pecting people". I know first hand. My last pregnancy i had the feeling for quite sometime that "something" wasnt right, the whole time i was constantly being reassured by my doctor that "everything was fine". I gave birth to my son and immediately after birth he just wasnt acting right and it didnt take long for things to go down hill very rapidly. My son survived, however, he has severe brain damage. My little angel is 8 years old now but he is on a 6 to 8 month old age level.
I know that what i have told you most definately isnt going to make you feel any better. But i wanted to share with you the fact that bad things do happen to good, normal people like us. I never ever dreamed i would have a child whose health was so compromised. This is something i live every single day of my life, not to mention that i never know from one day to the next if my child will even be here, for with his brain damage he is so suseptable to illnesses and he gets sick very fast. He has been on life support and near death several times, as well as children with such severe brain damage as his doesnt have a very long life expectancy. We love him soooo very much and we cherish every moment that we have with him.
Again, i am so very sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation to you, i truely believe everything happens for a reason. I truely belive God has a plan for each and every one of us, so the loss of your precious baby is part of Gods plan for you. It may not seem fair or right or even unclear as to how this could have been part of God's plan, but someday you will get your answers. Just remember this " GOD DOESNT GIVE US ANYMORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE".
With deepest sympathy, ValleyGurl
racefan2448
03-26-2005, 01:21 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to what you are going through because I recently went through a similar situation myself. On Valentine's Day this year, I was scheduled to have a level 2 sonogram just to make sure there weren't any abnormalities in my baby since I'm 37 years old. I was about 24 weeks pregnant at the time. The sonogram showed that my baby had died about 2 weeks prior. I too thought my baby was still moving and didn't suspect anything was wrong. I was never sick throughout the whole pregancy and there weren't any type of warning signs. My doctor had me deliver my baby and I had to have a D&C to get the placenta out. I requested an autopsy since there weren't any visible signs as to why my baby had died. The pathology report showed that my placenta had aged prematurely and degenereated, which ultimately starved my baby of oxygen and nutrition. There isn't any explanation why this happened, just an unfortunate circumstance. I doubt that I will try to have another child since I have 2 other children that are teenagers. Plus, I'm still going through a lot of emotional pain and grieving right now that I really don't want to consider trying again for the fear that it might happen again.
willsmommy
04-02-2005, 06:01 PM
Hi,
Gosh I feel so very sorry for your situation, reading of your story took me back to the loss of my first precious son, who was also a much wanted and loved baby Joshua. My circumstance was different in so much as what caused his death, he had urethral valve syndrome, which is very rare, and cause such damage to the kidneys that a baby severley affected as was our son is incompatible with life. A term I will never ever forget. I really do know how you feel and the intense pain and agony that every day seems to bring. Letting go and coming to terms with your babies lossis a long process that takes time. A really horrid thing to hear when you are in the midst of grief swinging bwteen the rage of 'why me' and the pure sadness of 'why my so wanted baby'/ Every where I looked people had bumps and buggies and babies, life was very hard for a period. I personally coped by keeping it very concealed except for a very few select few, my husband in the main. To others it was as if my heart had healed when in fact my very being ached with pain and sadness. I probably liked you searched for the reason 'why' and then eventually accepted that there is no reason really, its all down to bad luck and unfortunate chance. On a more optimistic note I know have a beautiful daughter and two large brown eyed boys, the youngest just one years old. You never ever forget, my first born shall always be Joshua but you learn to live again and find a sense of peace and acceptance. The experinece has taught me how to value my children more and wonder at the sheer miracle that they stand before me safe and well. You will get through this very sad time. Thinking of you ((((((hugs)))))) xxxx
Gosh I feel so very sorry for your situation, reading of your story took me back to the loss of my first precious son, who was also a much wanted and loved baby Joshua. My circumstance was different in so much as what caused his death, he had urethral valve syndrome, which is very rare, and cause such damage to the kidneys that a baby severley affected as was our son is incompatible with life. A term I will never ever forget. I really do know how you feel and the intense pain and agony that every day seems to bring. Letting go and coming to terms with your babies lossis a long process that takes time. A really horrid thing to hear when you are in the midst of grief swinging bwteen the rage of 'why me' and the pure sadness of 'why my so wanted baby'/ Every where I looked people had bumps and buggies and babies, life was very hard for a period. I personally coped by keeping it very concealed except for a very few select few, my husband in the main. To others it was as if my heart had healed when in fact my very being ached with pain and sadness. I probably liked you searched for the reason 'why' and then eventually accepted that there is no reason really, its all down to bad luck and unfortunate chance. On a more optimistic note I know have a beautiful daughter and two large brown eyed boys, the youngest just one years old. You never ever forget, my first born shall always be Joshua but you learn to live again and find a sense of peace and acceptance. The experinece has taught me how to value my children more and wonder at the sheer miracle that they stand before me safe and well. You will get through this very sad time. Thinking of you ((((((hugs)))))) xxxx
besafe20
04-10-2005, 12:54 AM
will's mommy. My friends son was born with the same problem. They discovered the problem at her 20 week ultrasound and told her the baby would die 100% for sure. They told her these babies often die in utero or are born early and die shortly after birth. They suggested she abort the pregnancy. She refused and went through it all anyways. She had a c-section when labor couldnt be stopped and had her boy with her for 2 hours until he passed away. It was very sad but she was so strong. He was prefect on the outside and you would never know he had a problem. Just thought it was a coincidence since this condition is rare.
cbvb
04-24-2005, 03:19 PM
I don't know if you are still reading messages, but your message struck me. My baby also died at 19 weeks (and 3 days) - the cord was wrapped around his neck 2 times. I believe he died a week earlier (so he was alive 18 weeks). We had a little boy, and named him. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions - sometimes I feel normal, other times angry or depressed. This all happened last month on March 23. I would love to know how you are doing with all of this - it would be comforting to hear from someone else who had also dealt with something so very similar.
donttell
04-29-2005, 09:50 PM
I was 27 weeks preganant when my son died. our first baby. I know how you feel. Your sorrow will last forever , but you will survive, I promise. I still to this day answer that I have three children when asked. I will always include him real and true. Some people may avoid the subject for fear of making matters worse, that is normal. You will be angry and there will be days when it will feel unreal, go with it and know there is no time you should be over it.
Talk about it if you want to who ever will listen. Every part of pregnancy or birth process you want to talk about it talk!
My prayers are with you.
Talk about it if you want to who ever will listen. Every part of pregnancy or birth process you want to talk about it talk!
My prayers are with you.
Sheilainschool
04-30-2005, 11:40 PM
Hello, I can feel your pain and know what you are going through. I have lost two babies, both at 13 weeks. It is a devastating loss and very hard to come to terms with. It is very easy to get depressed and immobilized by the grief. Keep in mind, that it is ok to grieve and feel down, but make yourself get back up and keep going. The chord wrapped around the neck is actually a pretty common problem. I have a son who almost died at birth because the chord was wrapped around his neck twice. Thankfully, he pulled through, but it was touch and go for a while. People aren't going to know what to say to you and will say really stupid things. They mean well but that doesn't always make it easy to deal with. Find people you can talk to and keep a journal. I wrote to the babies in a journal for a little while after I lost them. We always remember them at Christmas. We bought them each an ornament and that is the first ornament we put on every year. We also named each of them. It made their existence real to me. Some people don't do this, but it made me feel good and there is no right or wrong in these situations, just what is best for you. Take care and keep posting!
navysab
05-23-2005, 08:11 PM
Hi, I have never lost a baby, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, I know that there is nothing that I can really say to make it any better. Please take care of yourself, and reach out to family or even a counselor for help if you need it. Many prayers for you.
sebring
05-25-2005, 03:12 AM
I also miscarried at 18 weeks about 2 weeks ago. It is hard to deal with because four days before the baby died I heard the heartbeat and say him for the first time.
jo905
06-06-2005, 06:40 AM
Thank you all for your kind replies this is the first time Ive looked back on these boards (June) and when I saw my post was here I just started crying didnt think it would still be here. Dont know why Im so emotional but I still cant talk to people about it without crying, I have accepted losing my baby but itstill hurts I just dont talk about it anymore (seems like so long ago now although it was only 4 months) anyway I found out I was prgnant again a few days ago got an early scan booked as this is my 5th preg (I have 2 children) so fingers crossed for this one thankyou all for your stories and for listening and wish you all good luck for the future
EMH
06-06-2005, 10:39 AM
Jo,
I am so sorry for your losses. I work very closely with pregnant women through births and losses of all kinds and at all stages, yet, I still feel dumbfounded when it comes to offering any comfort. I know there are no words that make you feel any better. I am just so sorry.
I happy for you and your current pregnancy. I am sure you are happy and scared to death all at the same time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Michaela
I am so sorry for your losses. I work very closely with pregnant women through births and losses of all kinds and at all stages, yet, I still feel dumbfounded when it comes to offering any comfort. I know there are no words that make you feel any better. I am just so sorry.
I happy for you and your current pregnancy. I am sure you are happy and scared to death all at the same time. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Michaela
kirstyjepson
11-23-2007, 02:49 PM
I'm unsure uf anyone uses this board anymore but after my recent loss ive been seeking solice in the internet and came across this thread. I to gave birth at 19 weeks to my son leo who weighed 10oz on 30th oct 07. im devastated. he breathed for half an hour yet was registered as a miscarraige im disgusted.
wen10
11-23-2007, 04:31 PM
Dearest Kirsty,
am so very very sorry, i dont see how they can class this as a m/c, that is wrong. Am sending you a gentle hug my friend, please dont feel alone as there is always someone about to listen.
Takecare
wenXXX.
am so very very sorry, i dont see how they can class this as a m/c, that is wrong. Am sending you a gentle hug my friend, please dont feel alone as there is always someone about to listen.
Takecare
wenXXX.
kirstyjepson
12-28-2007, 08:33 PM
Thankyou for your kind message =] Still not coping and now have a serious womb infection to top it off :(
sorry for hijacking this thread!
sorry for hijacking this thread!
wen10
12-30-2007, 12:06 PM
Hi Kirsty,
you must be feeling awful and really do not need this infection on top of everything you are having to cope with. Has the hospital offered you any cancelling, this helped me to see that my feelings were all totally normal aswell as having the chance to say things in confidence. Do takecare and your not hyjacking this thread, everyone can write where and what they like so dont worry.
wenXXX.
you must be feeling awful and really do not need this infection on top of everything you are having to cope with. Has the hospital offered you any cancelling, this helped me to see that my feelings were all totally normal aswell as having the chance to say things in confidence. Do takecare and your not hyjacking this thread, everyone can write where and what they like so dont worry.
wenXXX.
angelmom808
01-11-2008, 01:09 PM
Just to let you know I will be leaving this message board my baby was born on 25th Feb I was 19 weeks pregnant he had the cord round his neck four times and had been dead 2 weeks apparently although Im sure I felt him kick in between this time. Dont really know what else to say as I am grieving so much it hurts to talk about my experience. I was in labour for half hour and had to be induced We will try again but not just yet as I feel I need time to get over this if anyone knows of anyone else this has happened to please let me know as I feel so unlucky and cant believe this is such a rare thing to happen and that it happened to me
I'm sorry for your loss...I lost my baby boy Kapena at 37 weeks due to the cord around his neck 3 times and a true knot in his cord. I've been off and on "Okay" but, for some reason two days ago I hit the bottom of the pits again and I feel like jumping of a building (I won't do that) but, thats how I feel. I can't understand how or why this has happened and to make it worse, i work as a Welfare Fraud Investigator and see people everyday who pop kids out like Pez Despensers and some (not all) don't even care about their children. I have a 13 year old boy, who is my angel on earth....but I do miss my Kapena so much.....
God bless you and please know that you are not alone and will never get over this. I've heard the phrase "you don't go back to 'normal' you have to find a new normal".....I've always read the posts on here, but only registered so I could respond to your post....I'm really sorry and I feel your pain. NO one can understand unless they've been through the same thing......I'll check back often to see if you've responded....Aloha and God Bless
Christina
BF Billy
Angel on earth Adrian
^^BABY ANGEL^^ Kapena W. Garcia
I'm sorry for your loss...I lost my baby boy Kapena at 37 weeks due to the cord around his neck 3 times and a true knot in his cord. I've been off and on "Okay" but, for some reason two days ago I hit the bottom of the pits again and I feel like jumping of a building (I won't do that) but, thats how I feel. I can't understand how or why this has happened and to make it worse, i work as a Welfare Fraud Investigator and see people everyday who pop kids out like Pez Despensers and some (not all) don't even care about their children. I have a 13 year old boy, who is my angel on earth....but I do miss my Kapena so much.....
God bless you and please know that you are not alone and will never get over this. I've heard the phrase "you don't go back to 'normal' you have to find a new normal".....I've always read the posts on here, but only registered so I could respond to your post....I'm really sorry and I feel your pain. NO one can understand unless they've been through the same thing......I'll check back often to see if you've responded....Aloha and God Bless
Christina
BF Billy
Angel on earth Adrian
^^BABY ANGEL^^ Kapena W. Garcia
tasha17
01-29-2008, 02:09 PM
Iam so sorry that this happens to you! that happend to my bestfriend and she was devastated! she was induced and the baby kived 4 4hrs and died!
bradnclaytonxx
02-08-2008, 09:29 AM
oh my goodness, hi ANGELMOM i lost youngest baby 7 years ago, i call my 10 year old my earth angel too, he loves it, i truly believe in my heart that he saved my life and pulled me through my loss. i know you dont "get over it" i think we just learn to live life differently. i knew from that moment on a little piece of me would be sad forever, but we have our earth angels to help us "cope" with the hard times. i am sorry if i disturbed you at all its just that, well it rang a bell with me, thought i would say hi. oh and while i am having a bad moment, thanks for making me smile. all the best to you. also can anyone tell me, my oldest son, i am so paranoid about him, i have nightmares that something has happened to him, i am so terrified that he too will be taken away from me, can anyone tell me am i going mad !! i would like to advise people too, please try again, i did not, ok i have one baby, but please try again.
jukaam
02-17-2008, 02:48 PM
I am so sorry for you loss, a friend of mine lost her baby (cord wrapped around his neck) at 34 weeks. Sorry for your loss.
Jinny22
05-21-2008, 02:07 AM
Hey What can I say, your pain is something no one can understand. It just happned to me today and I am just crying after that. I was 9 week pregnant and Today went for ultrasound and doc told that their is no heartbeat from last four weeks and baby is not grown more. I never thought that can happen to anyone . I always thought three months are critical and I am just crying so much I donot think I can survive..It was my first baby it is baby for me i lost my baby. Everyone in family is saying that it is okay but how can be I am crying so much that from last 7 and half hours. Their is no happiness anymore fofr me..I wish this shouldnot happen to anyone
Jinny22
05-22-2008, 11:43 PM
Hi Kristy,
I lost my baby around week 19 too. Or Ican say I went for ultrasound and I found that my baby died 3weeks ago and I didnot feel anything. I was eating everything and thinking my baby is eating too. It is just making me sick that my baby is dead inside and I was having so much fun. I am really sad this was my first baby and First I was sick for first trimester but I was getting better in 2nd and I was very excited. oh gash I feel like breaking my head because I donot even know what happned to my baby, baby's heart beat was 150 doctor didnot suspect anything nothing I had no bleeding just my baby died..
I donot know Nothing is making me feel better...
I lost my baby around week 19 too. Or Ican say I went for ultrasound and I found that my baby died 3weeks ago and I didnot feel anything. I was eating everything and thinking my baby is eating too. It is just making me sick that my baby is dead inside and I was having so much fun. I am really sad this was my first baby and First I was sick for first trimester but I was getting better in 2nd and I was very excited. oh gash I feel like breaking my head because I donot even know what happned to my baby, baby's heart beat was 150 doctor didnot suspect anything nothing I had no bleeding just my baby died..
I donot know Nothing is making me feel better...
DOLFIN3708
06-30-2008, 03:43 PM
I am very sorry for your loss and I completely understand what you are going through. I lost my baby the same way at 38 weeks on Christmas Day 1999. It is pain that is just undescribable. I see that original post was in 2005 so you have some time to process things. I am sure that you understand now how you never forget, but it does get easier. For me it has changed who I am forever. I have severe panic and anxiety attacks all the time. I always feel like I am dieing. When my baby died for the first time I realized just how fast someone can die. Like a light switch one second it's on and in a simple flick it's off. That is how it was with my son. One night he's all squirming around inside of me and the next morning I never felt him move when he used to always wake me up in the mornings. I only had 2 more weeks I was so excited. I had already had my baby shower which was huge. The nursery was all set up beautiful in the baby noah's ark theme. He was so wanted and everyone in the family couldn't wait to meet him. Then he died. They did a CS to take him out. I held him. I have never cried so hard and for so long in my whole life. He was perfect in every way, but he was dead. How could this happen? Everyone says that God must have wanted him for a reason, but I ask if God wanted him so badly then why did he give hime to me in the first place just to take him away from me? It has been 9 years since he passed and even today I cried my eyes out over my son I brought out his pictures and stared at him. I still to this day cannot believe this happend to me. I do have 2 other children and they are my world. When people ask me how many children I have I always say 3. People don't really want to hear about my son that passed. I think it maked them uncomfortable, but I try to explain to people that I talk about my other 2 children all the time and just like I talk about them I want to talk about my son that is in heaven. It does make me feel better to talk about him. I am sure that you have experienced this from time to time. My son's name is Dawson and he is my little baby angel. I miss him dearly, but we will be together again one day. I hope you are ok.
DOLFIN3708
06-30-2008, 03:43 PM
I am very sorry for your loss and I completely understand what you are going through. I lost my baby the same way at 38 weeks on Christmas Day 1999. It is pain that is just undescribable. I see that original post was in 2005 so you have some time to process things. I am sure that you understand now how you never forget, but it does get easier. For me it has changed who I am forever. I have severe panic and anxiety attacks all the time. I always feel like I am dieing. When my baby died for the first time I realized just how fast someone can die. Like a light switch one second it's on and in a simple flick it's off. That is how it was with my son. One night he's all squirming around inside of me and the next morning I never felt him move when he used to always wake me up in the mornings. I only had 2 more weeks I was so excited. I had already had my baby shower which was huge. The nursery was all set up beautiful in the baby noah's ark theme. He was so wanted and everyone in the family couldn't wait to meet him. Then he died. They did a CS to take him out. I held him. I have never cried so hard and for so long in my whole life. He was perfect in every way, but he was dead. How could this happen? Everyone says that God must have wanted him for a reason, but I ask if God wanted him so badly then why did he give hime to me in the first place just to take him away from me? It has been 9 years since he passed and even today I cried my eyes out over my son I brought out his pictures and stared at him. I still to this day cannot believe this happend to me. I do have 2 other children and they are my world. When people ask me how many children I have I always say 3. People don't really want to hear about my son that passed. I think it maked them uncomfortable, but I try to explain to people that I talk about my other 2 children all the time and just like I talk about them I want to talk about my son that is in heaven. It does make me feel better to talk about him. I am sure that you have experienced this from time to time. My son's name is Dawson and he is my little baby angel. I miss him dearly, but we will be together again one day. I hope you are ok.