Hi,
I am new to this site. My name is Carol and I lost my mom almost three years ago this month. Every year I feel I am going to do better then last year but I am wrong. It still hurts very much and I miss my mom so much. I know my mom is with out any pain now .Like she use to always tell me the one's left behind are the one's who are hurting. I never really understood what she meant until she died. My mom had heart failure. She died in her sleep. I took her to the doctor and he said she was fine. But we knew she wasn't feeling all that great but never thought of her dying. I had just talked to her that Wednesday night and Friday she died in her sleep.. So you can imagine what a shock it was. I use to tell my mom I would die before her she told me no way. You know for some reason I never thought my mom would die.People use to tell me you will get over it soon. Not even , everyone grieves in thier own way and it could be until the day I die and maybe thyen I might not even be over it. From what I have experieced from death is grieving is like a roller coaster round and round you go and you are always back to where you started.Sounds crazy coming from a 49 year young person. To me age doesn't matter when your mom dies or a loved one you feel all these crazy feelings. It took me awhile to really believe my mom had died. I use the word died instead of gone because gone means the person will be back died means gone forever. It took me two years to say died. But I can say it now. My pain I had for my mom comes and goes but the missing and our memories will never come and go they will be with me forever. So to all that has lost a loved one or loved one's my prayers and thoughts go out to you...

Carol
California

i hear what you're saying. i lost my Dad 15 years ago, and a day doesn't go by that i don't think of him. I know he's in a better place and i have so many good memories to hold onto.

Hi
Yes you are right they are in a better place and yes we do have a lot of memories to hold on to but it is just so hard at times. I just wish loseing a loved one just didn't hurt so much or make you want to see them one more time. Sorry about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you[/B]

My heart goes out to you. I agree, we never get over a loss. I lost my Dad 10 years ago, still hurts sometimes. And, I lost my husband 6 months ago, that will always hurt.

Renee

My mom died of cancer two years ago, after a 3 year long struggle with her illness. I've been emotionally and physically exhausted ever since. I know what you mean about thinking, "She can't be dead." Memories of seeing her suffer haunt me. Before this, she never got sick. Fortunately, I'm close to my sisters. We help each other through the grief, but, a day doesn't go by, when it doesn't hurt. You're not alone. My heart goes out to all who are grieving....

Hi Renee,
I am so sorry for your loss of your loved one's. My heart and prayers are with you. Yes I am very certain losing your husband will always hurt I am so sorry. Boy why I ask myself do we have to go through all this. Why do the one's we love so dearly have to leave us. I know it sounds dum but I sometimes don't understand death. I am not going to tell you it will be okay because it won't so all I can tell you is take care and grieve for as long as it takes even if it forever.
carol

Hi wmkcolors,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am having a hard time right now with my mom's death almost 3 years ago on March 23rd. I lost my dad and nephew 8 years ago six months a part. That was very hard to go through. Now my mom's death. Boy I sometimes feel okay put then sometimes my heart just feels empty. I also have two sisters which we grieve together. I have another sister and one brother but we do not speak to each other since my mom's death. Sad I know but that is what death does to siblings. Someday the pain will ease off but don't know when that wil be. It took 7 years for my pain to almost go away for my dad but the missing and memories never will go away. As for my mom gee I am not sure it might take until the day I die to go away.
For some reason my grieving for my mom is different then my dads. I miss them so much but I guess it just has to be this way. You take care and you are in my thoughts and prayers .
carol