Hello: Just wanted to let Cheryl and all know how things are. Thank you for asking , my friend , Cheryl.
My husband this week has lost his strength majorly. He speaks so soft we can hardly understand him. He keeps drifting off to sleep while holding on to items. So, since he still is smokeing, I have to watch him closely.
A while ago he fell asleep and wet his pants. This one time he did not have his 'pull up diaper ' on.
He slowly came to me and asked me if I was mad at him! He was stern! I told him , no, of course. Then he wanted to know why I poured his cup of coffee on him just now! He had fell asleep and wet his cloths. I had to prove to him how his clothes were from the inside out..wet. Don't know if he believed me. I got to smile at that... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif there is not much of anything oto laugh at for so long now.
You know,, Cheryl..I have said several times lately, that I miss getting hugs. My husband used to 'hug away all of my worries', but now I try to gently hug away his.
As you know...this is the 'End' of our lives, too, as we have known our lives to be for ohh,, so many years. So, it feels like a bit of me is really dying away too......no, most of me.
The nurse says his lungs are filled up nearly solid now. She just got his a Nebulizer to help him get some air through his lungs. We have to do it every 6 hours. At 3 am he is at his worst condition of trying to get a breath.
Got to go put him to bed now. I just keep telling myself, the Lord is with us and will be through the frightening , unknown ahead for the both of us.
I came to this site, again, in hopes of strength. Thank you, for the boost, Cheryl .
I keep praying for you , as I lay in the dark trying to comfort myself with prayer. I try to name off all of you precious people...so thaat in a way, perhaps...I am helping you a little.
I send Spiritual gentle hugs to you all, Christian Love and prayers in Christ's precious name.
(I loved what was said...on this site..no better time to go to the Lord , then this holiday time, with the focus on Christ.) No offence to anyone, intended..that is just my feelings. Donna

Donna, I don't know how you are coping. I said this before on Eva's thread, I was so lucky that Danny never became unable to get up and walk to the bathroom. I never had to watch his dignity crumble. He didn't linger. Maybe that's why it was/is so hard to lose him. It was so fast. It didn't seem fast at the time he was in so much pain, we begged God to take him. But after reading what you and some others are going through, I wonder why it ended when it did for him. And me. As you said my life ended too.
I'm sorry, I'm crying so hard right now I can hardly see and I can't think straight.
I agree, not having him to hug me, or just put a hand on my arm is the worse.
I hope your husband is treating you like Danny treated me. He never raised his voice even once after we found out about the cancer. I kept waiting for him to explode like everyone said he would but he didn't. Does your husband stare at you? I used to catch Danny looking at me with this far away look and he never would say why.
Oh God Donna, I never meant to turn this to being about me. I wanted to try to comfort you and I messed up.
Remember I'm praying for you both. Keep in touch. I needed your hugs.
I hope you feel mine.
Cheryl