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Losec20mg
03-03-2005, 08:53 PM
The devil made me do it

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach and with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said "Yes." And Woman said,

"I'll have one too.... with sprinkles." And lo they each gained 10 pounds.

Then God created healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 2 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green garden salad." And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut shrimp, butter dipped lobster chunks and chicken-fried steaks so big they needed their own platters. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats, adding copious quantities of salt. And Man and Woman packed on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan introduced cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil when changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretchy lycra jogging suits.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes...and super size 'em!"

And Satan said,

"It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

Satan chuckled and created HMO's.

it really makes sence, doesn't it.?? :)

nikki11
03-03-2005, 09:16 PM
hehe.. like that :)

rheanna
03-03-2005, 10:18 PM
Right on!!!

--Rheanna

Lenin
03-04-2005, 06:37 AM
Unfortunately God also made ONE BEAUTIFUL RED APPLE!

Starrbelie
03-04-2005, 06:42 AM
Losec, you are too funny! I needed that laugh this morning! Thanks

Starr

Losec20mg
03-04-2005, 07:43 AM
Unfortunately God also made ONE BEAUTIFUL RED APPLE!

yup..

oh and, who said im funny.?? ;)..

Jess75
03-04-2005, 08:10 AM
Hahahhaha, that was sooooooooo true!!!!!!!LMAO I always think the tasty SALTY, SUGARY foods as being the devil, and man is the one that created all this good food, and tempting resturants which leaves us to OUR FREE WILL to choose like we do in all other aspects of life. Ya know, some things are just so tempting(damn that devil)LOL. :D

auntjudyg
03-04-2005, 10:16 AM
:d :d :d

Losec20mg
03-04-2005, 10:28 AM
hey aunty..those smileys are not working :( :)..LOL

and, hey Jess.. you sound really intelligent with the way you type.. :) ;)

BTW/ all that junk is the devil..yup..im pretty convinced :)

Lenin
03-04-2005, 10:32 AM
I think you need CAPITAL D's!
:D:D: :d:d:d

Losec20mg
03-04-2005, 10:55 AM
hahahaha.. you'r right, LOL.. :D :D :D >> :d

auntjudyg
03-04-2005, 11:36 AM
What I was trying to say was . . .

:D :D :D

Must have had my cap lock on ;)