I couldn't bear to visit this board until now - it is just too painful - all of it.

Mom made it 15 days without my dad. I know they are both happy now and painfree, that is a comfort among all of the other pain.

Mom's passing "APPEARED" to be a lot less painful than Dad's - she too had the "death moan" though but spoke up until the very end and said she was in no pain.

If you have read my post of when Dad passed you will remember that Dad mentioned to me that he saw his father (who died about 12 years ago) near a beautiful gate entering heaven waiting for my Dad and Dad even told me he would be meeting Grampa at the Gate on Saturday - and he did die that Saturday night.

Mom appeared to be in a semi coma type state - she was talking -- sometimes you could understand what she said other times you couldn't make it out. She was unaware of us being with her and eventually her eyes stopped blinking and she got a thick teary film over them - but she was still mumbling. My mom was on no medication at all other than Tylenol - she was very lucky in that she had no pain. But at the end she had no idea that we were all with her, she was leaving - the very last thing my mother said was something to the effect of a beautiful gate and then she said my fathers name and said aloud - "He is so handsome!" and then she said "I won't go back! I have to be there on time!" and she slowly took her last breaths of air - that lasted for about 30-40 minutes and she was gone.

Now they are both gone and I am here wondering where to start - where did I leave off when I quickly put my life on hold two years ago - I don't remember.

I am still researching the Natural Gas connection that I mentioned in an earlier post and will keep you guys informed though it may be a while before I post again. I am reading the board daily, but it is just too hard to respond for now.

Thanks for all of the inspirational messages I have received and the prayers you guys have said for us - I feel a closeness to yall like I never would have dreamed. This was my first experience with a "message board" and I don't think I could have made it without some of you - thanks and love, Hope B. Memphis Tennessee

Hope, I'm so sorry to hear. As sad as your current state may be, the relief is almost comforting. You are undoubtedly one of the bravest people I've come across. Stay strong for all of us and especially for what good and not so good that will undoubtedly come in the future.

My thoughts are with you and your parents.

Caroline
happy916

Hope

Take all the time you need and want. I am glad to hear that you will continue to read the posting. When you are ready, you will find other people who want and need the strengh that you got from this board. Some messages, I still can not reply to, I can not even imagine, losing both of your parents 15 days apart, or putting your life on hold for 2 years. But.... When you are ready to go back to your life, it will be there, and yes there is alot of pain for the future. One moment at a time.

Leisa

I tyr to get comfort thinking my husband and brother went together. (Only one week apart) Prayers are with you...Cheryl

My thoughts and prayers are with you Hope. Take care and God bless, Ann.