Hi everyone,
I haven't been on in a long time. I went into the hospital in November for my ED. I left the middle of december and ended up back in less than two weeks cause I was so depressed. I left again beginning of January. Now I'm home and I'm actually doing well. I've gained weight, I look healthy, I'm not freaking out about eating out or spending time with friends in restaurants, etc. The weird thing is that I'm in recovery and I never thought I would be. I'm still nervous and kind of skeptical but I'm doing it.
It's so completely true about how we starve ourselves or eat because we don't want to feel our feelings. I have been starving myself for over two years and now I'm finally not. Well mostly. I still have my moments where I try to go a while without eating but I always give in. I still think about food alot and get nervous when I'm too hungry. But I'm just working through it. I'm not really back to feeling my feelings, but I'm on my way I think. It's just so weird. I NEVER thought this day would come. I got so depressed and that's why I went back to the hospital. I felt so hopeless but it worked! I guess I'm just scared though. I'm scared that I've lost the control of starving myself. Even though I know that sounds ridiculous. I feel like I've lost self control in my eating habits. It's just really confusing. I don't have that wonderful feeling about it yet but I'm hoping that will come. I'm just not completely comfortable with it yet. It's early though.
Well I just wanted to share. Thanks for listening.

Lauren
:confused:

Thankyou so much for posting this thread. Its good to hear that recovery is possible. Its an inspiration to all of us. You're bound to feel like you've lost your control because if your anything like me then part of the reason behind the ed is wanting to make up for losing control elsewhere by being strict with your food but you should try and see the way you feel as a positive thing - a sign of recovery. You are doing so well. I'm so jealous. Keep at it. Hope il be at that stage sometime. Well done! x

Lauren,

That is so awesome!!!! Congratulations!! Take it form someone else who's recovered...it's not strange to say you lost control over you're eating...you absolutley did!!! And don't worry about feeling scared...that will pass when you see how great you feel, and realize how HARD you worked to get where you are. It's easier to stay recovered that way...when you remember the hard work, and feel proud about it. It's the hardest thing you ever had to do, hey?
Keep coming here sweetie...especially since your still so new to it...I'll be here, and I know that there are others who can help you get more comfortable with it too. It will come, you'll see!!

Yay you!!!

Jenn

hey!

i am so glad for u! i mean, wow, huge step! u should really be proud of urself!! everything has pretty much been said! just keep up the good work! i am so proud!:)

Take care!!

SammYx0x0x

Im trying to recover my ED on my own and I've currently been successful at it gaining about 10 pounds so far. Will I get my old figure back if i continue to gain weight?

u will!:) just keep thinking POSISTIVE THOUGHTS!!! health is the first key !!! :)