Hey everyone, i have a question to ask, i'm anorexic/bulimic and i just saw my psychiatrist on tuesday and he said he was very concerned because my weight is getting so low (so he says :rolleyes: ) and because i'm not functioning as well anymore and he told me i look ill and emaciated, so because of this he wants to put me in the hospital, i really don't want to go. I have myself on a waiting list to get into an eating disorder inpatient program but theres a long wait, i'm scared enough about that but i'm willing to go but being in a regular hospital just terrifies me too much cause i think they're just gonna fatten me up and then send me on my way and i won't have the support i'll need to handle it. I'm afraid i'll just be surrounded by nurses and doc's who don't care or understand. I don't want to stop seeing my psychiatrist because of this though because right now i'm on 3 different meds and i know i'll go majorly downhill w/out the meds and i really won't be able to hold myself together so i was thinking about calling my family doc tomorrow and having my blood work done...maybe if my blood work comes back normal then my psych. won't feel the need to hospitalize me :confused: i'm not sure but maybe. Has anyone else been in this situation. Do you think i should just get the blood work done and if so what kind of blood tests should i get..i know i need my electrolytes checked and an ECG but is there anything else? Maybe my family doc will know what to get done....do you think?? I dunno :confused: Just wondering what you guys think

Hi Fallen...

I've been in the same position you're in a few times...It's a hard position to be in...i know.
First...don't worry about being off your meds. The hospital should provide you with whatever you are currently taking (not sure what country you are from...but as long as you have some kind of insurance, you should be fine) There will be a team of doctors, psychiatrists, nurses and therapists helping you and supporting you as you go through the program. They should be seinsitive to your feelings as they are trained to help you cope with recovery.There are usually other patients in the program that will be going through the same thing you are too...so you can give each other mutual support. As for bloodwork -your family doc will know what to order...but regardless of whether or not it comes back 'normal'...if your weight is too low or you have chronic 'bad habits' due to your e.d., you will probably still be advised to go through the program. (you should probably let your doc know that you are on a waiting list as well)
Having said all that...I have to tell you ....it won't be easy. You really have to committ yourself to getting well again if this type of treatment is going to work. The hospital program is pretty structured...so you'll be on a meal plan that they'll expect you to follow. There will be threapy groups and nutritional info sessions and they'll monitor all your meals, snacks and bathroom time pretty closely. It's all about learning how to eat and function normally again...and how to find a healthy relationship with food, deal with your emotions and any underlying issues that might need to be addressed.
Please don't get too nervous...I'm just trying to let you know what to expect so you'll be prepared when you go.
Just know that all the staff are there to HELP you. You wont be alone or isolated through it all. And it can't hurt to give it a shot right!

I know...this is all pretty scary....You want to find help and get better....but the fear of putting on weight (especially relatively quickly) is overwhelming. Just try to think of the alternative...going through life with an eating disorder is a horrible way to live. Trust me I know. I've been anorexic and bullemic for 12 years now. The longer it goes on...the harder it is to get out of. Think of the toll on your health - physical and mental - that your e.d. will have on you a few years down the road. It's not a pretty thought. It will affect how you age and your appearance, how your body functions, how you cope with day to day life, your relationships, your job, EVERYTHING!
Don't forget...people have died from this illness as well.
You CAN defeat this...and it's better to battle it now than later!
I'll be rootin' 4 ya!
:wave:
GOOD LUCK!!
goldilocks.

goldilocks,
just curious, are you recovered from the treatment center?

I hate to admit it...but no...I'm still battling with this.
The first time I was put into the hospital...I was 15 and was forced into a program agianst my will b/c i was a minor and my weight was getting too dangerously low. I was there for around 3 months and did put a bit of weight on...but I wasn't cooperating with the program. I didn't want to be there and I was completely resentful of everyone who was trying to help me. I rebelled against all the rules and eventually they kind of gave up on me. I was way too naive to realize I was only hurting myself by fighting the program.

The second time around I was much older, more mature, and actually WANTED to seek help.
I signed up for a program voluntarily...it was really scary...but I was desperate for change. The problem was...while I wanted to get better...I was still unwilling to give in to the treatment and put the weight on.
The rationale behind most programs is that when you are underwieght...your body and mind can't proccess information, emotions or normal bodily functions and responses properly. Refeeding and putting wieght on actually helps you to FIGHT all the inappropriate and self-destructive impulses the eating disorder is creating. Once you are eating healthily - routinely - and reach a healthier weight and frame of mind, your brain sort of starts to rationalize things much better.
I was in the second program for just over a few weeks...but I wasn't completing meals or cooperating with the therapy sessions as much as I should have been. I wasn't completely COMITTED to getting better.

I think I'm ready now...so I 've signed up for an inpatient program again.
3rd times a charm, right!

I think I have FINALLY realized that until I make the conscious decision to recover from this...to give up what i have always thought was control (which was really an illusion...having an e.d. is more like a LACK of control) and that recovery REQUIRES putting on weight...until i take control back...life is just going to SUCK!

It comes down to what's more important...being thin...or living life and being happy. So far my e.d. has prevented me from really living or being happy.
I don't want to waste any more time trapped in this horrible existence.
We all deserve so much more!
:)
take care.
goldilocks.

sorry for going on and on ...and on!!

By the way...
On a more positive note...many of the girls (and 2 guys as well actually) that were in the program with me are now recovered and doing really well.
They completed their programs, followed up with outpatient transition programs and are living their lives relatively 'normally' now. They have told me that they still have to fight their eating disorder impulses on occasion, but have learned how to cope and overcome those urges.
It gives me hope anyway!
Hope it helps you as well!

Fallen,
It can be scary, but it sounds like you are probably not able to make the best decisions for yourself right now. I would listen to your psychatrist and believe he has your best in mind.

I was in a partial hospital program for 12 1/2 weeks, where I went to the Behavioral Medicine Center each day monday through friday for 7 hours a day. Much like you fallen my therapist and doc told me for over 6 months that I really needed to get into some sort of program. But just as Goldilocks said, one has to be ready. When I was finally ready I went. I got ALOT out of it. I went to an amazing facility with a fabulous staff and I worked my butt off. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but the most worthwhile as well.

The center's/program's goals are not to get you 100 % better, that won't happen. What they reach for is getting us 51 % better then when we get out we continue our recovery road by going to therapy, seeing a psych, going to groups and following a meal program. It is a long and hard process, but as I have said it was more than worth it.

I am doing well now, still have to work at making healthy choices each day, but am living a life more fulfilling than I could have imagined possible.

Please give it a chance.

Im recorving my ED on my own.. Will I get my old figure back if i continue to gain weight?