Anyone have any suggestions how to handle the constant calls to work. My mother is calling my husband at his job over and over. I have edited the phone books at her house ---tore out the pages with office number; I have checked all her little papers for the number. ... I don't know how she is finding it...but she is...he said she called 5 times today and he told her not to call anymore. The calls go through a secretary and they are getting pretty tired of it. HELP!! Of course, if she is not calling him...she is calling the house...yesterday she called 24 times between 1:30p and 5pm. and left that many messages. No one was home. It is the most irritating thing to find your machine filled when I get home. I understand she forgets but some of the calls were every 3 minutes--long enough to leave the message on machine and redial. I am gooing to tape a "do not call..." on her phones tomorrow but anyother suggestions.

Dolores

What is she trying to accomplish with these calls, do you know?

Disconnect it?

If you see her daily'ish .. perhaps you could uplug the phone in the morning, and replug it in at night?

Wow ... amazing how they're all good with numbers eh?

Hugs ..goodluck
Sally

I've tried disconnecting it but she goes across the street to the neighbors, calls the phone company that her phone is out, and gets charged for the visit. I tried taping DO NOT Call notes on phones, walls, etc. Just spoke with husband and she called several times this morning. I just don't know where she is getting the phone number. She cannot recall numbers unless she has them written or off caller id. I feel really bad for my husband--and I just don't know how to make it right.

She is trying to call him to let him know that "they? are coming to take my house";"I need help moving because they? are coming". Her delusion that someone is taking her house and she will have to move is constant lately. So, she calls him. I think she calls my house ; no answer; so she figures she can call him. He is not at his desk all the time....so his secretary gets the constant callls.

There is a lock you can buy to prevent any outgoing calls. Ask at an electronics shop. It's used to lock phones away from teenagers,or children. Alert the neighbors that when she comes, tell her their phones are not working either. Soon it will pass, she will move on to some other form of bizarre behavior.

Good luck! This is a hard job. Very challenging and very depressing. As I have said often on this Board: I am all for nursing homes But my siblings cannot or will not agree. As long as I was the full time, only caregiver, their attitude drove me nuts. Now that my brother has promised to take over Mom's care as of June 15, I am thankful and pleased with him and his wife. My sister still doesn't admit or see the need for any help..TOMORROW MOM IS GOING TO HER HOUSE FOR A LONG VISIT. we shall see what she says after that! I would love to have Mom in a nice facility. No one but me seems to agree . outside of every dementia Caregiver ....

Love,

Martha

Thanks I will try this suggestion.

This is all very hard. I am glad you will have a break...it is exhausting work. I am considering a nursing home --I have no one else to challenge my plans...I am the only one available. My sister is Down's syndrome so I have to figure out care for both of them. I think I keep delaying it ....it is just so overwhelming.

I'm sorry if this is a dumb idea, but would a strong anti-anxiety agent help calm her anxieties (though I understand they are imaginary, but of course they're real to her) about losing her house so maybe she wouldn't need to keep calling him about it?

Your suggestion is an excellent one. She is already on antipsychotic medication for the delusions. We have a dr's visit in 2 weeks so I am hoping we can increase the amount. She is also on anti anxiety and anti depressant. Thanks for the suggestion. We are trying all ....it is all a hit and miss effort. I sometimes have to wonder if there is really any help for these situations--at least any easy ones.

It is absolutly the hardest job to take care of an alzheimers patient. The fact that there is no medical coverage to help pay for home health aides and outpatient daycare programs is outrageous. The physical and emotional responsibilities are tremendous. This leads many people to put their loved ones in nursing homes where they spend down their savings to apply for medicaid. It is very unfortunate to have to do this but many times there just is no choice. There are many nursing homes with dementia/alzheimers units, some better than others. My family made this decision 3 months ago. It was (and continues to be) the hardest thing we have ever had to do. But knowing that Mom is in safe place with caregivers who are trained in caring of AD patients, is some relief. Although she is very sad and depressed, she is in a wonderful facility and we know that this was the best decision for everyone involved. The point that I am trying to make is that you should investigate the nursing homes in your area. They can be a real lifesaver for the all.

Thanks! I am thinking about nursing homes. I am planning to start looking into them in the next month. I know this is the direction I am going to have to go. I have her here with me right now and what an ordeal. I gave her dinner and she started going on about her house and it being safe. "are the lights on?" I forgot to lock the HOUSE?" ....it goes on and on. She came into the living room and said"you are going to get mad at me. but take me home." She asks to come here to sleep. I told her my husband took my car and I couldn't take her. She got irritated and said she'd walk home. It has been a LONG week....I told her " fine!" and opened the door for her. I know that is childish...but I am so so so tired! I am on the verge of tears...it's been a long week. She looked at me and turned around and went to her room. MY poor sister (who is down's but pretty with it) just looked at me and her...like "WHAT???
is going on?" I just reassured her and she returned to her jigsaw puzzle. Sorry, this was not what you reply about....just had to vent......

re: your suggestion. It is a good one and I am considering a nursing home probably sooner than later.

Dolores