Hi,

I am new to this forum and would appreciate any responses from you concerning moving overseas with a child who is adhd. We are considering a relocation to Tainjin, China. Our biggest concern is how our 10 year old son will adjust. Has anyone out there been through this? If so, would you be willing to share your experiences. Actually any advice or comments are welcome.

Thanks,

Divamom :)

Hi Divamom,

Welcome to the board! While we haven't done anything as exotic as China, we did relocate from the States to Europe last summer with a severely ADHD 14yo boy, and a mildly inattentive ADD 11yo boy. They are both really enjoying the experience of being oversees and we like living in an expat community where it is easier to make friends.

The area that is something of a problem for us is that the international school they attend is, naturally, a private school. As a result the school is not obligated in any way to make modifications for my eldest son's disability. And, I can't advocate too strongly for him because they will simply ask us to leave. :confused:

So, if your son is currently receiving accomodations, I'd say that's one thing you should consider. Otherwise, I think it is a good experience for them to see that the rest of the world lives differently than we do.

Thanks for your input. Did you move to a country where English is spoken? One concern we have is our/his ability to grow accustomed to living in a city of 9 million people where we (English speaking citizens) are the minority. The company my husband works for has only one other American employee. The rest are Chinese. I think it would be a great opportunity for cultural growth but, I am afraid it will be too much of a culture shock for him.

Will there be an American/International school there for him to attend? If so, you will find that he will make his friends there, he'll continue to be surrounded by English-speaking people, and maybe his little life won't be too drastically changed.

For you, though, it will be a bit harder. Grocery shopping is a real challenge if you can't read the labels...

There are 3 international schools there. All are English speaking. I don't think he'll have any trouble making friends. What concerns us most is the transition from one country to another. There is soooo much to moving overseas. Domestic moves are crazy, I can only imagine what international moves are like!!! He needs stability, routine, and a plan or his little world turns upside down. In talking with counselors, the transition period takes anywhere from 3 to 6 months after the move. That's not including the time it takes just to get there. (selling the house, packing, .....you know). So we're looking at anywhere from 6 to 12 months of transition. Then with this being a 3 year assignment, We'll be going through another 6 to 12 month transition just to get back to the states.

We have learned since he was diagnosed that giving him plenty of warning ahead of time helps tremendously. Right now our children have no idea this is a possibility. My husband and I are deciding this weekend whether or not to take a "look see" trip . We have to prep him for that. (our being gone for a week or so and in China for that matter) We can't even tell him our real reason for going because he'll worry about it.

Moving to another country would truly be an exciting adventure for us all. BUt is it worth it to take a chance of disrupting his life for such a long time? Keeping his environment stable makes it easier for all of us. We are lucky that our daughter is not adhd. She's very laid back and sees everyday as a new adventure. She is 8, he's 10. She is also very perceptive and bright and understands that her older brother requires special consideration sometimes and does her best to help out when needed. How you did it with two, I'll never know. Kudos to you.

As far as me and grocery shopping....I don't see that as too much of a problem. In China, Expats hire housekeepers for about $100 a month. I figure we can do it together for a while until I get the hang of things. Sure wish we could get a housekeeper in the states for that much!!!

Index.html----I really do appreciate your input on this. It is a HUGE decision we have to make. It's comforting to know that there are others who have done this and are willing to offer support. Thanks a bunch!

Divamom :

Divamom, I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can't. I don't know your son.

My kids, at 14 and 11, adjusted easily and well. However, we moved to a country where English is spoken and most of the people look like we do. What I've found, though, is that my kids are still mostly surrounded by Americans at school, as play-dates after school, in sports, and at home. That only leaves being around "foreigners" when we go sight-seeing or shopping. That's a small percentage of time and, so, it doesn't effect them as much as you would think.

My kids need routine, too, although your son sounds a bit more inflexible. It isn't nearly as difficult as you would think to have the same routines wherever you are.

Food, I would think, will be something you'll need to consider. How easily will he adapt to different foods? The other area to consider is the first that I posted - how sure can you be that a private school will work with him like his previous school did? That's been our biggest problem.

Personally, I'd vote for the "look-see". When you go, obviously you'll spend alot of your energy deciding if you think he can adapt.

Let us know what you decide, okay?

Index,

We're trying to get info fromt he school about accomodations for him as well as info on other American/English speaking students. Not having much luck by email yet. We'll just have to keep trying.

The food thing might not be too bad. In talking with someone who just moved back from Tainjin, there are at least 3 western grocery stores there. As long as I can get peanut butter and Mac and cheese we should be okay! (ha!)

I'll keep you posted on how things progress!

Thanks,

Divamom