Hi there !!
:wave:
I've been quiet for a few days eh? Arm/neck still aching and sore, I am very limited in my strength and mobililty of my right arm. Not exciting when I'm right handed and tend to reach out for something and get halfway there and go "Ouch!" ... Martha, I'm waiting with baited breath on E's discovery of the truth, but I'm with Barbara on the "hardly likely" LOL LOL

But .... I digress ........ I rang the Carer Respite Group who have arranged for the people to come and shower FIL during the week and begged for a respite night, Saturday night so I could get the kids away from here and have a bit of fun .. they rang me back Friday morning and said "ok" .... I went trotting down to FIL and told him the events, and he sounded a bit "oh" about the whole thing. We didn't go into specifics, but I did say the KIDS deserved to go out with us and have a bit of fun at a friends house. The bloke who showered FIL on Wednesday was our respite worker last night. This went WELL !! MIL prefers BOYS !!! Respite worker (we'll call him Geoff but that's not his real name) went down and chatted with MIL, and supervised a bit of cooking she did (even the flaming grill ..hmmm) ....

We got home this morning and everybody is fairly calm and reasonable ... and I think "Well that went well .. GOOD"

Then the truth comes out ........ :confused:

MIL grilled what should have been a broiled meat, so it was as tough as boots, she did her little vegie mix thing with mayonnaise, cheese spread and teeny chopped up vegies, (tastes putrid) and a bit of potato. FIL was NOT impressed, but grudgingly ate it anyway. Then he asked her if he could have some ice-cream with chocolate sauce.

She brought him ice-cream with liverwurst on it.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (shuddering at the thought )... so he told her "nope, liverwurst doesn't go on ice-cream, but chocolate sauce does" and she came back with ice-cream and cooking oil .......... the Geoff came in and saved the day and found the chocolate... (phew) .. she took his instruction without complaint or anger !!!!!!!!!! TYPICAL !!!!!!

OMG !!!!!!!!!!! It just got worse !!!! I'll never face ice-cream again !! LOL

This morning, after DH took MIL to church, I checked her meds. She's supposed to be on Adefin and Noten (Blood pressure) Natrilix (fluid tablet) 1 aspirin and the anti depressant. I've discovered today she's only taking the Natrilix , 1 aspirin and 1 anti depressant (we knew she was taking the anti depressant wrong, but she won't believe us or listen to a change of instructions cause SHE'S RIGHT!!) ...... so now she's on NO blood pressure tablets which probably explains WHY her behaviour's going ballistic !!!!!!!!! I'm dreading the next few days, she's going to be raving .... *sigh*

Shower day tomorrow with D (shower aide Monday and Friday last week) and BIL should be around .. we're minimising water damage finally (by parking FIL in a different spot and using a steel bar across the door with LOTS of tape) ..... so it shall be interesting .. to say the least.

Anyway .. HELLO to everybody .. it's nice having a break in the routine, and I discovered with my sore arm, I can't play darts right handed, however, I play darts equally as well with my left arm (that is, I can actually hit the target, but don't ask for specifics LOL I'm not very good at darts right or left handed) .. we sat out in my friends backyard, and watched the pink Galah's (wild birds) eat seed, and found 2 baby galah's who can't fly yet (awwwwww) and had a laugh when one of them looked up at the bird bath which is only 6" off the ground like it was the Empire State Building he had to traverse .... they'll be fine, they'll watch the other galah's and learn .. by the end of the evening, one of the babies could actually fly onto the fence (and teeter on the edge until he got his balance) - it was so nice being able to SIT and not get summoned every 15 - 20 minutes!!!! (Although FIL DID ring once at 6pm .. but got short shrift from DH .. the respite aide worker had my phone here at home !!!!)

Hugs to all .... hope your well, Martha .. stay rugged up and warm. You know, I'm discovering that when the stress of caring is lifted, I get sick, it's like my body says "RELAX" and it goes into overdrive ....

Sally

Interesting comment, Sally , about getting sick just when you finally get some free time. I've been sticking to home mainly, although we had warm enough weather today to finally melt most of the snow. Do you get snow at all in Australia? (not now in your summer, of course!) Tomorrow I want to do SOMETHING all on my own but haven't decided what yet.

I am so tempted to call E's house to ask how things are, but I will keep myself down!
I would only hear 'all is well.'

If that's the story I get, I can always say, "if you do so well with Mom, the only logical answer is to have her live with you permanently!" See what happens then!!

Love,

(we missed you!)

Martha

:wave: Hi Sally!

Good to hear from you. As Martha said, you were missed, but only in the friendliest of ways! We wish you no chaos du jour. Sorry to hear about your ongoing pains and limitations. Guess your body has found a way to slow you down even though your giving heart would have gone on, angel that you are - on, sorry, saint that you are!!

Cheers that you and your family had time off and the thrill and hilarity of baby birds to watch. Nothing is more restorative!

Ah, yes, the creative cooking, ingredients, and toppings that go with losing it to Alzheimer's. In my Mom's case, the creativity extended to how to package leftovers. It was not pretty. I shudder to visualize liverwurst on anything, but in ice cream is horrifying!! In this case, poor FIL - but wonder how much wider open his eyes got about MIL's real problems?!!

Cheers for Geoff who survived and didn't let the house get burned down or anyone get poisoned. He's a keeper. Can you request he be the one who always comes to shower FIL and arrange a weekly respite night??? Not too shabby!

So, are the conclusions that....
* MIL is not allowed to cook?
* MIL's pills will be laid out for her so she cannot take them incorrectly? Maybe put them in a plastic pill box, one dose only?
* assisted living for FIL and MIL is imperative ASAP for the family's sake or hire Geoff for 24/7?!?

Don't let anyone delay the move!!!!!!! Missed you :)


:wave: Hi Martha!

I love your planned reply to E. and hope, hope, hope that is exactly what you say to her if the situation arises! Do ask your brother to report what E. tells him!!!


Hope both of you are feeling better soon!!!!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Hi Girls ....

Yes, it does snow in Australia, but only way down south (1 days full driving) or a bit out west. Not too close .. unfortunatley and much to the horror of my kids LOL LOL ... they've never seen snow (except in the freezer), I was 14 by the time I went to camp (down south .. Mt. Koskiusko - pronounced Koz-e-os-ko) and discovered snow .. it's good when you go hunting for it, it's not fun if your stuck in it. I can't ski for love nor money, broke my ankle way back then traversing a small slope .. I prefer ice-skating, I have more control .. haven't done that in years either, because there's no rink near me (I lie .. 2 hours drive north of us there's a rink .. but at $12 a head, it turns into unaffordable and my skates are rusty)

MIL SHOULDN'T cook .. however, I jump up and down and demand my 2 nights a week off ... he CAN put up with what she does, I'll make sure the grill and oven are cleaned properly this week which will minimise the fire hazard ...Actually .. I'm doing damage control on Wednesday by sending 'extra' food down for her to serve ... that way she feels she's doing it, even though I've controlled it ..

As for the tablets .... <b>I'M </b>not taking them off her .. I'll be hit!!!! She's quite adamant she's in control of her medicines ... end of discussion !!!!!!! I am seeing the family doctor on Friday, and I'll discuss any options with him .. I can't even find her scripts to GET the tablets .... *rolling eyes* Lord knows where they've ended up .. I've retrieved FIL's scripts from the bin before too !! If I tell her she's got a blood pressure problem, she deny's it ... whaddya do???

BIL from China sent his Dad an email the other day advising that father look wider at this situation and look at Aged Care Facilities for him and mother. I've been on tenderhooks all weekend awaiting a summoning to ask about this email, but nothing has been mentioned .... so FIL is probably ignoring it. Apparently local BIL has been trying to have chats with father, but father keeps changing the subject.

Plan B is to wait for FIL's next admission (give it a week or so) and pound into him them the stupidity of staying in hospital longer than being at home ..

*sigh*

I'm trying ... I'M TRYING ........ I guess it will happen, but eventually is the word of the day now.

BTW ... L is doing an AIN course at College (Assistant in Nursing) specialing in Aged Care. I said to her the other day "When do you do personal care?" and she said Next week, so I started chuckling and said "GREAT !! You can take FIL in for Show and Tell!!!" .... I also said (in the nicest way) that when her course finishes in June SHE'LL be able to come and help shower/shave/personal care FIL ..

she almost threw up ......

And she's doing this course why ????????

People are beginning to annoy me ................

But hugs to you gal's .. my friends :-)

Sally

Hi Sally, Barbara and Martha!
Sally, good to see you're back. I was beginning to thing your shoulder was keeping you away from your pc.
The pill thing. That's a toughy. My dad went through that with me when I first moved in with him. I wound up buying him a new pill organizer. It was a weekly one. I told him to go ahead and fill it. Then when he was sleeping, I would check to see if he did it right. Of course, most of the time, he made mistakes. I would make certain all the pills were in there and in the right place. Sometimes he'd notice the difference and say "the doctor said I didn't have to take that one anymore" and I would tell him "I know but she called and told me she wants you to start taking it again." Of course, she didn't really call but that seemed to make things ok for him-at least for a while. Soon after, I was able to convince him to leave his meds in the kitchen. After about a month or so of gingerly dancing around the subject of meds, he started letting me get his meds ready for him. He depends on me to do it now.

I hope that Geoff will be able to come and bathe FIL all the time. It's really hard on patients and caregivers when aides are constantly being switched.

Ice cream with liverwurst topping? YUK!!! I shall never look at ice cream the same way again! That would be a good thing for me bc I LOVE ice cream and I really need to lose weight. Hey, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Take photos of really disgusting food combos and put them on the refridgerator door. That way, when I get really tempted to eat something I shouldn't, I'd lose my apetite or craving before opening the door! :D

Barbara, how are you? I'm curious what state you live in now? I think you may have mentioned it before but I don't recall.

Martha, I hope you're feeling better, dear. Do you still have a lot of snow on the ground? Ours has all melted away except for a dusting we got last night.
You're doing great resisting the urge to call E. I must admit I'm curious what E would say if you did suggest your mom live with her. I think we know the answer to that, though. All of a sudden, out of the blue, E would say "I see what you've been saying all along, Martha and you're right. I'm so sorry for doubting you. Honestly, I don't know HOW you've managed this long!" And then she would send mom back to you.

Have a pleasant evening ladies. I'm exausted so off to bed I go.

Love, Barb

Hi Barb -

I'm in VA. We moved here in July 2002 because my mother had Alzheimers and I'm an only child, so wanted to come. Mom was already in an assisted living facility and started wandering just 2 weeks after we arrived, so we never had her living with us. She died last September, but I'm so glad we could be here during her last 2 years.

We love being here and interestingly, our home is just 20 miles from where my grandmother was born and 4 miles from where my great-great-great-great grandfather registered his will in 1775. Among the family things was a little painting of a flower drawn in 1839 by my great-great-great grandmother. Isn't that amazing? No wonder I feel like I'm home.

If we could get through with this house remodel, I think I'd be just fine!

I'm headed for bed, too. Good night all! Barbara

My psychic predictions are becoming eerily correct more and more every day !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight, DH took FIL to the club for his nightly couple of beers. A) gets FIL out of the house that he spends ALL day in and B) Away from MIL so they all get a break and C) he can do some socialising. His whole day is spent medicating himself to give himself enough energy to struggle down the stairs into the car, into the club, then into the car, UP the stairs and into dinner. Fair enough I think, he's got NOTHING else ....

tonight, my kids call me and say "Nanna won't let us put dinner in the oven" and I reply "so do it anyway" .... their reply "Nanna wants to have dinner on her own with Pa" ..... Pa says "Like hell .........." and I sit and thing "oh Geez, it's gonna hit ............." and guess what??

IT DID !! Surprise surprise !!

We got home, and I brought the Good Ol' Tuna Casserole down and got the NO NO NO from MIL .. She's cut two bread rolls in half, put uncooked bacon on them and about to serve dinner!! FIL says "Like hell ..... I want Tuna Casserole" .......... so I set him up at the solitary dinner table and he says "I want to eat dinner together" and I said "I don't think so .. she's in a mood, and it's just going to make things worse if we're down here tonight"

So he's not happy. She's not happy. We're upstairs away from it, not happy but happier we're not down there .. (LOL) ...

And FIL is getting sicker, I'm surprised he hasn't called me to call the ambulance .. maybe tomorrow ....... and THEN BIL can have words about seriously considering the Aged Care Facility .... because since DECEMBER, FIL has only been home 5 weeks .... pretty sad eh?

Now .. I get to dodge MIL .. lucky me ....

Hugs girls .. had to vent
Sally

Hi everyone!

Wow I slept until 4 AM! Usually I am up around 2 and it's all I can do to stay in bed until 3. It's both my Mom waking me up and a type of depression, says the doctor. I take St John's Wort for it and feel happy most of the time, but sleep is still a problem.

Last night I dreamed about my Dad, who died in 1977. We were drinking coffee in the kitchen (he was a coffee addict just like me. Yes, I know that aids my sleeplessness) and "I told him, Daddy, I am so sorry I have to throw away so many of Mom's belongings," he said "Don't worry, they are only THINGS!"

I had the pill hassle last summer. I noticed when it came time to refill Mom's prescriptions that she had 7 left of one, 10 left of another, none left of a third one etc, even though all the bottles began with 100 pills. Obviously she was taking too many of some and not enough of others. I also bought a 7 day pill holder, and put the right pills in for every day.

After 5 months she was either taking none, or the pills for 2 or even 3 days all at once. Now I keep the pills on a high shelf (I am tall, Mom is tiny - think Mrs Petrillo and Dorothy - and she is afraid to stand on a step stool) and I put out only the ones she needs for each day. Since I am at school when she eats breakfast, I can only hope she actually swallows them, I do find an occasional pill on the floor where she dropped it without noticing. She could also take it into her head to put them in the garbage or the toilet .. no one would know.

Mom was not angry when I started sortring out the pills for her, she said she had a hard time figuring out which was which. She still calls a long narrow pill 'half a pill' and thinks the aspirin, the largest one, is much more powerful that the tiny little ones ...

Love to all, keep up the caring, NOTHING from Ohio..

Martha

Hi all!

Well, today is dad's 79th birthday. We had planned a nice lunch at Texas Roadhouse but he is in bed saying he doesn't want to go anywhere. And dh is complaining that he is hungry and wanted to go there to eat NOW. Poor baby can't get what he wants. So today has started out just wonderful....sigh.....

Barbara, sounds like you're into genealogy? I am too. I love researching my family history. I actually met (on the 'net) two distant cousins of mine while searching for info on my mother's dad's family. They've invited me to go to a family reunion (actually two of them) this year. I'm so sad that I won't be able to go to either. One is in Tennessee and the other in Alabama.

Martha, Martha, Martha. Still the lack of sleep. Of course coffee doesn't help but do you think you're so used to your mom waking you that your body is conditioned to waking early in the morning even when you're exausted?

Oh dear Sally. Things are really terrible for you now. I think of you often and pray that peace will come to you soon.

How are things today?

Love, Barb

Hi all -

Sally, is it better today? Hope your shoulder and neck are behaving normally again and you're pain free. What is your psychic prediction for what's next?

Has happiness leaked down the stairs or did MIL wake in a happy world today?!

Hope FIL is feeling better. Hope he's had your cooking to eat, too!

Martha, I think your dream about your father is so sweet. You've had understanding from "beyond" even! You're doing good!

Barb - My cousins have told me things about the family that they know because they've lived here all of their lives. but I have not done any genealogy research myself. Where is the reunion in TN? I'm from Memphis.

Hope all goes well for each of you and your "bundles".

Good night! Barbara :)

Today's update:

MIL woke up in a good mood .. why? Because today is her Ten Pin Bowling Day. She's ALWAYS in a good mood when the day is all about her !! LOL

FIL very fragile, but hanging at home by a thread ... 85% of us think "Go to hospital, it's easier" whereas the other 15% says "oh but let him stay at home a little longer ...."

Anyway, the community nurse came through this morning to change a dressing I don't want to touch (it's ulcerated) on FIL <B>AFTER</B> I had taken MIL bowling ~ <i>**It's all in the timing**</i> ~~chuckling~~, and he and I put our heads together ... ok .. MIL isn't taking ANY of her tablets .. not one today .. FIL had pointed out to her she should and she flatly refused .. so ......

I rang the doctors surgery .. and put the dilemma to the long time secretary we're on fantastic terms with and she said "Well, I've just had a cancellation .. bring her in" which JUST HAPPENED to coincide with the end of bowling today !! Ah ha !! Theory was, we would get her to the surgery and he would have 'words' with her about her tablets. He had to do that last year when she went off kilter, and except for the 'odd' day here and there (which I admit I forget some of my tablets once in a while ... I think we all do) was pretty good up until recently. So .. today was BIL's day to pick her up, so I rang him and gave him the job of getting her to the doctor !!!! He got her there with NO problems fortunately (she always behaves for him .. grrrr) and she went into the doctor, and came out of the doctor with a fistful of scripts. Never mind we have these scripts at home .. LOL .. so he took her around the corner to the Chemist, who gave her a sheet of each and kept the rest. They're going to be put in a Webster Pack (don't know what you guys call 'em, but they're all your tablets in bubble packs for the week ~ you pick up each weeks supply) and BIL is going to over-ride any of her problems.

Of course, because HE'S doing it, she'll love it .. if it was me it would be a whole different deal ....!!!!!

I snuck around MIL today when she was gardening with BIL and said "Chicken for dinner tonight" and she said "Oh lovely, chick chick thrang that there 3" so I'm assuming we're eating together tonight with no drama's like last night!!! Don't think I could handle too many more of them !!

Shoulder & Neck a bit tender today .. I had to fly downstairs and get the washing off the line when some rain hit .. and it stopped the MINUTE I took the last item off ** how typical **.

FIL asked for Liverwurst on his sandwich today .. she gave him peanut butter. Oh well, at least MIL is giving him SOMETHING .. LOL

OK .. for now .. that's the latest in the day of this version of Bold and the Beautiful .. LOL LOL

Hugs
Sally

Hi! Hey Sally, remeber the Liverwurst the other day? At least she didn't give him ice cream between the bread! :D
You're right about it being all in the timing. I think timimg is extremely important when it comes to people with alzheimer's or dementia.
Barbara, the reunion is in Nashville. Apparently my grandfather had many relatives who settled in Goodlettsville, just north of Nashville. My mom was born and raised in Huntsville, Alabama. That's where the rest of her immediate family were.
Ok, I'm starting another thread now because I'm at my wits end again. My saga will continue on the thread titled I WANNA SCREAM!!!!!
Barb

Actually Barb, we've been laughing that she might give him ice-cream and chocolate sauce between bread for a couple of days now ....

**It's just a matter of time** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

A friend asked me how FIL was, and I said "hanging on by a thread" and she said "Want some scissors?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm going out for morning tea, I have BIL coming over to parent-sit (he's promised he'll be late, I said I don't care) ........... RUN AWAY .......... RUN AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Dinner went well last night .. *phew* .. schnitzel tonight .. fingers crossed

Hugs girls, cya at lunchtime!!

Sally

Thank you for the laughs! I needed that today. That's the same thing I told Martha on her thread about turning AD on and off.

Btw, check out what she said about Lifesavers. :D

Sally, you're going for morning tea now and it's 3pm here when you submitted your post. Have a lovely time and spend more time with that friend who has that sense of humor! LOL!!!

Love, Barb

OK .. back from Morning Tea .. had a few more giggles there ... My Friend, T, went to Sydney with hubby and friends to see the Neil Diamond Concert. Had a fantastic time, but couldn't get a taxi to take them back to their hotel (too short a distance, taxi's get fussy in big city's apparently .. us poor country cousins forgit ... LOL) but just happened to bump into ........

<b>Greg ...... the Yellow wiggle !!</b>(The Wiggles, a kids band famous World-Wide for those who don't know) ....... so my friend T, was dancing in the street saying "I met a wiggle, I met a wiggle (bugga Neil Diamond) I met a wiggle ..." and then somebody in the crowd said "You waiting for a taxi Greg?" and another person in the crowd said "Nah .. he's waiting for the big red car" (the car the Wiggles Drive)

Ok .... well, if your not a Wiggles Fan this probably sounds like the rantings of a hysterical woman .. ....LOL LOL

They ended up having a drag race on the highway with a 'butch' kind of lady on a motor bike on the way home, and all in all, she had a good weekend - she had respite from her kids! LOL

I've been muching on passionfruit Melting Moment biscuits (cookies), having my lemon Twist tea and some good therapeutic girlie chat ......

I came home, FIL is feeling more 'with it' (darn, I even brought scissors .. hahahahaha) MIL is happy cause BIL is spending some time with her ... daughter No. 1 is home from school (yesterday and today) with an upset tummy, but she's happy cause I brought her home a Melting Moment Bikky (cookie) and I thought I would jump on here and share my morning.

I'm in a good mood today .. all's right with the world at this moment of time, right now, right here, right at this second.

Barb, my bestest friend, S is of German Heritage. The care parcels that were sent during the war, with the literal translation, were taken, quite literally .. I have heard that story before .. and good ol' life-savers, well my friend had some with her when she toured Russia ... she was taken in by the KGB and interrogated for several hours on this medicine she had brought in and what it was for .. LOL LOL LOL .. ok .. that's about 25 years old now .. I HOPE things have improved!! (She was also acosted by locals in Russia for her jeans too !!)

We need a "funny story's" thread !!!! All those in favour say "AYE" LOL

Hugs
Sally

Aye!

My 2 grandsons love the Wiggles, they see them on videos from the public library in Indiana ..

Aye!

When our younger son was 3, he came into the kitchen where I was and said he'd hurt his kidneys. WHAT??? He was crying a little, but it took a few minutes for me to realize he'd fallen and hurt his knees - being a small child, he called them his kid knees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laughter is the best medicine! :D

Hang in there everyone!! Barbara :wave:

One of my 3 year old students asked me, "Miss Martha, are you a boy or a girl?" Somewhat taken aback, I replied, "I'm a girl. If I were a boy I would be Mister Martha!"

Humor helps. But there are also times in this Dementia Caregiver Life when tears come more easily.

Have a good day!
Love,

Martha

AYE!!! to the funny stories!!! I swear if I hadn't have been on this board the last couple of day, I'd have CRACKED! Bing, bang and off to the funny farm I would be!

I have heard about jeans in Russia years ago. Levi's were the popular thing on the black market there in the early '80's. I hope things have changed by now.

The Wiggles, hmmmm. I must be out of touch with children's bands and such now. My only child is 16 now and never was into chilren's music even when he was little (unless you want to count Barnie). Ooops, almost typed Barbie. I'm big but I'm not purple... LOL!!!

Oh, one of my personal favorites came when my son was about 5. I was driving and he was sitting in the passenger seat. He looked over at me and asked me how do babies get in mama's bellies. Utter shock consumed me as I had to carefully search for the right words to say. Never mind the fact that I nearly wrecked the car in my shock! The right words weren't coming so I said "Honey, babies are brought to mama's by the stork". "But how does the stork get them in there?" And before I could answer, out from the mouth of my babe came "I know already mommy. The stork doesn't bring them and he doesn't put them in there. Daddy's put them in there." Ok, I'm pulling over now before I wreck the car. "Honey, tell mommy what you know." "Well, daddy takes a stick like from a tree and then he takes a egg but not a chicken egg and then he pushes the egg down mama's throat to her belly and then the egg get's cracked and the baby comes out I think by her belly button and then you have me." "Thank you Lord!" and a sigh of relief.....LOL!!!

Have a great day everyone!

Love, Barb

Hi Sally,

How goes it these days?? Is FIL in hospital yet? Hope MIL has had more good days.

I got this today and wanted to send it to you as I did to Martha,

A Hug Certificate for You!

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.


You are in my thoughts so often and wanted to let you know.

Take care, friend. Blessings - Barbara :)