I think I am heading for a nervous breakdown..
The 9 months have been really rough for me
I have experienced:
1. The death of an uncle at an early age
2. Death of my grandfather
3. I have had to deal with my mother's mental illness which hasn't gotten any better. She has been depressed for a number of years
and refuses to seek treatment. She is not taking care of herself and exhibits bizarre behavior. She appears to be emaciated and doesn't keep up her apperance. you can tell something is wrong with her by just looking at her.
4. A breakup which involved children that I loved, but weren't mine. The gal and I actually talked of getting married, but then I became depressed and things fell apart.
5. I spend nearly 11 hours a day, including commute, at a job I absolutely hate. I am afraid to just quit because of how it may look on a resume. But all the time I spend there is preventing me from finding another job.
6. Doctors found 5 tumors on my best friend's mother's liver last week.

I feel totally numb at this point in time. I feel like I am just drifting and have no direction, and I can't get happy or motivated about anything anymore. My vigor and life have been sucked away from me. I am usually good at dealing with adversity, but I have lost my strength I really need to just get away and go somewhere. I feel all alone and just don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Should I just leave everything and get away for a while? Any suggestions? Any help is appreciated

Hey,

I read this and although I normally lurk you seemed really in need of support so I thought I'd reply! You don't say whether you're on any antidepressants/in any kind of therapy, but that's always an option, you could go and see your primary care physician.

That being said you've had a *horrible* nine months, I think most people would be depressed! I've had both what I call "environmental" depression (i.e. lots of really crappy things) and just randomly fallen into depression for no real reason, and I find the former much worse, so I really feel for you. It's horrible when you're trying to keep going and life just keeps kicking you in the teeth as you get back up. Do you talk to anybody about any of that stuff? I know guys (my male friends at least) don't really "do" talking, but it can help SO much to just have somebody listen to you for half an hour. Not even a professional, a mate or a relative or someone.

Oh, and quit your job if it's making things worse! It doesn't look bad on a resume to quit, they'll just ask for the reason, and there are any number of reasons you could give (the commute, for one!). Just make sure you can find another one before you jack it in, unemployment probably wouldn't help at this point. ;)

Anyway I really hope you feel better soon, and that life stops being a b*tch! Take care,

Lori

I think I am heading for a nervous breakdown..
The 9 months have been really rough for me
I have experienced:
1. The death of an uncle at an early age
2. Death of my grandfather
3. I have had to deal with my mother's mental illness which hasn't gotten any better. She has been depressed for a number of years
and refuses to seek treatment. She is not taking care of herself and exhibits bizarre behavior. She appears to be emaciated and doesn't keep up her apperance. you can tell something is wrong with her by just looking at her.
4. A breakup which involved children that I loved, but weren't mine. The gal and I actually talked of getting married, but then I became depressed and things fell apart.
5. I spend nearly 11 hours a day, including commute, at a job I absolutely hate. I am afraid to just quit because of how it may look on a resume. But all the time I spend there is preventing me from finding another job.
6. Doctors found 5 tumors on my best friend's mother's liver last week.

I feel totally numb at this point in time. I feel like I am just drifting and have no direction, and I can't get happy or motivated about anything anymore. My vigor and life have been sucked away from me. I am usually good at dealing with adversity, but I have lost my strength I really need to just get away and go somewhere. I feel all alone and just don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Should I just leave everything and get away for a while? Any suggestions? Any help is appreciated

Hi! :wave: It does sound like you're having a "series of unfortunate events." I'm not sure what to say about all your misfortunes, except, I'm sorry. I wish I could do something more for you. Here's a virtual hug ((((((((((pittguy))))))))))).

The one thing I can offer advice on, is your job situation and your desire to get away. First, how long have you been at your job? If you put in a two week notice, then that would look respectable on any resume. I think, since that is the one thing you seem to have complete control over, you can start "fixing" things beginning there. Once you've put in your two weeks, and left the job, then you can start considering getting away, and the pros and cons of that. What will you be leaving behind? Can you afford a vacation? (Remember, having the money to do something and being able to afford it are different.) Where would you go and what would you do there? Would you be able to put your troubles aside and simply enjoy yourself?

If you go away, when you come back, go over the list you've just written here and decide which things you can do something about, and which you cannot. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. " If you can change something, work on it. For those things you cannot change, find a way to work through those hurts, whether through therapy, books, positive self talk, medication, etc.

It seems, overall, you need some *you* time, and getting away would be great for that, so long as you vow to not take your troubles with you. I would go for it, if it's a viable option.

Take care, sweetie. You owe happiness to yourself.

-EoR-

What a horrible year! Any one of those things is enough to get a person down, but 6!

What you need is a vacation. Big time. Take sometime to look after a very important person...you! Let everything else fall to the wayside. Your mom has been depressed for years, take a break from trying to help her. You can't save the world. Hopefully you have the financial resources to take some time off work. Maybe you can go to a doctor and get diagnosed with depression and get some sort of paid stress leave. (Being paid is good, yes)

Figure out what you want to do. Even just planning to watch movies or dig around in the garden. Or maybe something bigger like a trip to another city. Then do it, you owe yourself.

As for your feeling all alone, depression can do that to a person. There must be someone who can talk to...friends, counsellor? Another thing that I've found that helps me is to help someone else. Volunteer at your local animal shelter, an old folks home, help other depressed people on this forum. ;)

The 1 good thing about having such a bad year is that you *know* that the next year has to be better. Good luck!

Thanks for all of your advice. I had been living with my mom to keep an eye on her, but I am staying with my dad temporarily to get things sorted out. I contacted an advocate yesterday to see if big brother aka the state can't at least make her talk to someone and give their own diagnoses. I will post more later.

This is the first time in my life that I have been depressed. I am usually a very positive fun loving, and caring person. I am pretty good about dealing with stress and handling things. I definitely thank everyone for their advice. I will post more later. I am at work now ;)

Hi! :wave: It does sound like you're having a "series of unfortunate events." I'm not sure what to say about all your misfortunes, except, I'm sorry. I wish I could do something more for you. Here's a virtual hug ((((((((((pittguy))))))))))).

The one thing I can offer advice on, is your job situation and your desire to get away. First, how long have you been at your job? If you put in a two week notice, then that would look respectable on any resume. I think, since that is the one thing you seem to have complete control over, you can start "fixing" things beginning there. Once you've put in your two weeks, and left the job, then you can start considering getting away, and the pros and cons of that. What will you be leaving behind? Can you afford a vacation? (Remember, having the money to do something and being able to afford it are different.) Where would you go and what would you do there? Would you be able to put your troubles aside and simply enjoy yourself?

If you go away, when you come back, go over the list you've just written here and decide which things you can do something about, and which you cannot. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. " If you can change something, work on it. For those things you cannot change, find a way to work through those hurts, whether through therapy, books, positive self talk, medication, etc.

It seems, overall, you need some *you* time, and getting away would be great for that, so long as you vow to not take your troubles with you. I would go for it, if it's a viable option.

Take care, sweetie. You owe happiness to yourself.

-EoR-Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I had to get my computer fixed, and the guy that was fixing it was slower than molasses.

I really don't know where I am going to go. I just need to get away from here. I need a change of scenery. I would like to go someplace that is warm, and sunny. I hate the cold dark, dreariness of the NorthEast. I think things got worse because I started getting depressed during the fall, when there is obviously less sunlight, and SAD also kicked in. I can afford to get away. I have over 1 years salary in savings at this point in time, and no debt whatsoever..

I have been at my job for about two years. I have been unhappy for well over a year. I didn't join the company to do the job I am doing now. I was hoping to put my year in that position, and then be able to post out into an area that intererests me. However, I haven't been able to do that. It seems like I get turned down every time I apply for a position despite my stellar performance at my current position. I have applied for positions as far away as Florida... I feel like I have given two years to this company, and I haven't gotten anything in return. I dread going into work every day. I see it as totally pointless. My commute is two-2 1/2 hours a day...and then I have to work 8. So I am spending nearly 11 hours a day at a place that I don't see the point of stayin at.

The other thing is I am looking for jobs outside the company, but I have had no such luck there either. I don't think I can interview as well as I used to...since I am not myself. I am usually a happy, go lucky individual that loves to have a good time and make people smile. I have been through so much that I dont' feel like myself anymore. I am thinking that is showing in my interviews and having a negative effect. That is why I think I just need to quit my current job and get a job doing something different and less stressful for a while to recharge my batteries.

Hi! Glad to see you back. I think I would go insane if my computer were to break. :) Happy yours is fixed.

I'd suggest you take a trip to where I live--in New Mexico, which is typically warm and sunny by this time of year, but seems to have been cold and cloudy lately. :( I have SAD, too. So, the weather isn't helping. Have you considered light therapy? There are some insightful threads here that touch up on the subject if you think you could benefit.

Perhaps you could head down to sunny and warm Florida and do a little more job hunting while you're there (but onyl after you've relaxed and had a true vacation.) It sounds to me that your company doesn't have any idea what a valuable asset you are, and if they haven't acknowledged that in two years, then the likelyhood of it happening seems dismal. I found out the hard way that many companies will overlook a performer in favor of an *ss kisser, any day. Heck, I work for a company like that, now, but I love my job--thankfully.

As for interviews at other jobs, my step-mother once told me that sometimes you have to be an actor, write out your lines, rehearse your parts, and then super-act your way through the tough situations. If you can pretend to be your old happy-go-lucky self, if only for an hour, maybe you'd have better luck. I know, likely a lot easier said than done, but it could be worth a shot. My wish for you is that things will improve for you and that you won't have to act.

I think you are absolutely right in your resolution to recharge. I believe that leaving your job and taking a vacation will be the perfect opportunity for you to put things into perspective and get a fresh start. I really, really think you deserve to reclaim your happiness.

To hoping the smiles outweigh the stresses--EoR