Hi.
I’m 21 years old and live in SA.

Well I’m feeling VERY bad at the moment.

I dated this girl for 3 years. Then she broke up with me about a month and a half ago.

The story is. Her and I dated for a year and a half, and things were perfect! Then her mom found out that we slept in the same room at my house.
Then after 6 months her mom said that we must brake up. And her mom also said we can see each other again when she is out of high school.

So her and i did not brake up then, we decided that we will see each other behind her moms back. So after 1 year of seeing each other behind her moms back. We faced her mom about seeing each other again, and her mom said yes we can see each other once a week.

So we saw each other once a week for 2 months, after waiting that 1 year. During that time her dad found out that we were seeing each other and he seemed fine with it.

Her parents never liked me.

And then after the 2 months after waiting that year, she broke up with me. I cant believe it!

Her and I went through so much together! We held on and waited a whole year for each other! Then she broke up with me after waiting that year!

So her and I were together for 3 and a bit years. 2 years and 1 year of seeing each other behind her parents back, waiting for her to be out of high school. Then she let go!

When she broke up with me. She said that she lost her feelings for me and does not love me anymore!

I did my VERY best for her! I did everything I could do for her! How could she let go after 2 years and a year of waiting and holding on! Things just started getting better with her parents then she let go.

She even promised me she will never let go, the night before she did!!!! 5 days before, she gave me a great letter saying she is so in love with me!! She even broke up with me on our month anniversary!!!

I cant believe that someone so sweat so caring and so loving could do this!

Everyone I speak to that knows her, say that she has changed. They say she’s not the sweat caring loving person anymore. They also say it’s a very good chance that she found someone else.

I’m feeling SO devastated! I’m feeling SO alone! I can’t explain how I’m feeling! I’m loosing control over everything! I just want to crawl into a hole and die!

I feel I will never again find someone else. I feel I’m not good enough for anyone! PLEASE HELP! :eek:

Hey kdes,
Sorry to hear you are so sad. The only advice I can give you is that you need to move on and saddly you can't force someone to love you. I dated a guy for two years and we were best friends a year before that. He meant the world to me, we did everything together. Then he cheated on me, stupid me took him back, begged him to stay with me, but sadly he was in love with the other girl. Honestly I was heartbroken. I thought I could never love anyone like I thought I loved him. It took me time to get over him. The best thing you can do is distance yourself from the friends you have in common. I made the mistake of staying friends with all of his friends and would hear about his every move which made everything worse. The fact that he was happy and moving on and I was in so much pain was the worst part. It took me a while to realise that I had to move on and make new friends, go to different places and distance myself from him. About a year later I saw him at a club and he started calling again and wanted me back, but it was too late. I think the gratification of telling him that I didn't want to be with him was the best!
Now I am married to the most wonderful peson ever, he treats me with respect and loves me for who I am.
You should take the time to heal and find yourself. Don't rush things, in due time your wounds will heal. Hope you feel better.
Remember: if you love something set it free, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't it never was.
Take care.

Thank you for your reply it helps!

Im glad to here that you married, you deserve it!

I just feel i was not good enough for her. I feel she started to hate me. But i did nothing wrong.

I did my very best for her. I feel she started to believe i was not good enough for her.
I dont know why i was not good enough for such a sweat person.

I feel its going to take me forever to get over her.

Words that I always tell myself to remember when going thru a breakup, but it seems i never do are : YOU WILL GET OVER IT!! as insane as that may sound right now, its like getting a cut on your knee..whether you like it or not, you will heal. You have to have faith that the moment will come. You have to have faith that everything you felt with her you will feel doubly, even tripley with whomever you meet next, but you have to be over this girl so you can give the next your all. If she was just out of high school, you may want to take in to account that she's still pretty young. I was engaged to my high school sweet heart of 3 years, and a few months after college started for me, the whole idea of marriage and beign with this guy forever seemed absurd to me. The break up wa tough, but we are still good friends. He's married with kids now and I never feel jealous or like I missed out. I've had a blast dating around and being single.. im with someone now and i feel all the more stronger because of my past. Dont forget to remind yourself YOU WILL GET OVER IT!! Circle a date on a calendar for 1 month from today and when you get there, see how much better you feel and remind youself, it can only get better! Best of luck

Thank you that helpt so much! Ill give it a shot!