I'm so sorry for bothering everyone but I am having a VERY VERY difficult time accepting my condition? that is as yet not properly diagnosed. As well as all of the symptoms I suffer with on and off most days, last night something strange has happened. I knew something wasn't right as my TMJ got worse (heard strange JAW crunching noises when eating. My depression worsened. I clamed up and didn't want to converse with anyone. I took 2 Tylenol PM's and went to bed. I normally sleep from 11-6 waking up a couple of times and then ALWAYS at 6am. Last night I was awoken (was having yet another strange vivid dream. This time, I looked at the bottom of my bed and saw my son standing at the bottom of my bed. I closed my eyes a couple of times to do a double take but upon opening them he was still there. He eventually faded away after a couple of minutes. Of course my son was fast asleep in bed. I feel like I am going nuts!
Since I woke up this morning, I have a horendous sore throat (which I normally don't have only hoarse voice and red throat - not sore!). I have been in a really panicky mood all morning. My legs feel week, my tinnitus is louder than normal. I also feel more dizzy than normal. On top of this, I've had to go into work (I'm still working full time. Im frightened that I might loose everything if I stop working).
I want to go to the doctors but they will probably send me away calling me a hypochondriac again. I'm SICK of this. I am ill. How can I have all of the symptoms below and have (flares?) like this. The worst part is not knowing what is wrong and feeling like Im going insane!. All of my Brain MRI's and Cervical spine MRIs are normal as is all bloodwork and thyroid!. I'm waiting to see an Endocrinologist. I can't take any antidepressants (only ones that I didn't have reactions to are Amytriptiline and Dothiepin) but they didn't do anything!

Does these episodes sound like flares? It is very grey/windy and cold outside. I do feel better when the sun is out. Could this be connected? I'm scared I'll be like this for the rest of my life!. I don't know where else to turn.

Recap of flare? symptoms
===================

Tinnitus worsens (gets louder and more noticeable)
Depression worsens (just go inwards and not wanting to talk to anyone)
Anxiety which I have daily worsens (sheer panic, can't think straight)
Normally red throat/hoarse voice becomes SORE
Dizziness worsens
Drugged, light bodied feeling
Legs feel light but can still walk, goto work etc.



Recap of my normal symptoms.
=======================

Waking up 06:00 every morning with broken sleep (neither awake/asleep from 6am - strange thoughts run through mind automatically)
Vivid dreams and nightmares every night
Random Episodic Anxiety
Random Episodic Panic Attacks
Random Episodic Depression
Crying outbusts for no reason
Extremely sore neck and shoulders (worse when in bed)
Sore Leg calf muscles and knee cap joints (worse at rest)
Burning Eyes but no redness
Puffy Eyes
Thick bushy eyebrows
Hoarse voice (loss of lower ranges)
Discolored phlegm (sputum) - worse when lying horizontal
Tinnitus
Dizziness
Carpal Tunnel (mild)
Clumsiness
Short term memory loss
TMJ
Face fullness episodic jaw pressure
Forehead pressure
Random short headaches
Neck pain/forehead pressure worse when lying down with pressure on back of head.
Intolerence to Antidepressants of SSRI kind (can tolorate Tricyclics but dont do anything)
Nasal openings swell and extremely painfull to touch for days (one sided)
Post nasal drip
Periodic Belching
Periodic Excessive Flatulance
Cant walk into large buildings (mall's, supermarkets etc)
Cant tolerate excessive loud noise

Also, I can't stop thinking about symptoms and illness EVERY single day since I first became ill (18 months ago). I worry about what effect that has also had on my brain. It's like it's automatic now. I have developed a panic when speaking to people or making eye contact. It's like I feel inferior since I developed this thing...... Can anyone relate?

Hi,
It sounds like you may be having a panic attack. They can cause all sorts of physical symptoms, such as some of the ones you mentioned, like dizziness, agoraphbia, nighmares. You are NOT going insane, for sure. For immediate relief you can try relaxation exercizes such as deep breathing. Also, remember, the panic does not own you. You may feel it's effects, but acklowledge what they are. Sometimes it makes them seem less important. Sorta like "OK, I'm having a panic attack, oh well, gotta go to work". It used to work for me, and I would get thenm so bad I couldn't go out the front door. I also think you should talk to a doctor about the panic and the depression. They are most likely effects of trying to accept the Fibro. It's like trying to accept the unacceptable. It's more like you have to learn how to live along with it, and one day at a time. If time and insurance permit it, I think a good psychiatrist and therapist would do you a world of good. If not, I'm here to talk to. I've been thru the panic and I won. I am still trying to beat the depression and win the acceptance, so I can easily say I've been there and I am there, and I am here for ya!
Good luck. I'll be thinkin about you!!
Hugs,
Maria

hi, i really feel for you. i think it sounds like severe panic. i have had this. i am here if you need to talk. it does get better. it does so much to your body yu woulddnt believe. have you been diagnosed fibro? them tablets you took probably caused hallucinations? i have been ill for 17 months, since i had my son. im waiting mri results. hope mine are clear too. love aprilxx

Hi,

Just wanted to say thanks for listening yesterday and for your replies. I am feeling calmer today but still with symptoms unfortunately. After spending over an hour in my GP's yesterday evening, he decided to try me on 200mg of Doxycycline just in case this thing is lyme disease.

I seem to have more symptoms today. I have a throat that feels like broken glass. My eyes have dark black rings (worse than usual!). I am constantly clearing my throat. The ringing in my left ear is louder than usual (like the sound you hear when you go for an audiolgical examination - 2 tone alternating high pitched. It's always there, just more noticable when in quiet rooms (which I try to avoid!).

I always seem to have a weird kind of forehead pressure. With a dull presure sensation behind the eyes/nose.

My nose always seems to be tender on one side at the openings of the nostrils. They tend to 'flair' up and go red.

I don't quite know why the Anxiety is so bad at the moment. Some times I can talk to other people face to face fine, but a certain times of the day when I look at someone else, I panic.

Is there anywhere I could go (either UK or USA) to get a definate diagnosis of what I've got? (I know there are no tests yet for CFS/FMS) but surely there must be some good indicators from a mixture of tests and exams.

Some days I'm not sure what's worse....The Symptoms or NOT knowing what you've got !!!

Take Care,

Mike.

Mike,
I think you will find the more you research your symptoms on the internet the more info you will find. You are your own best advocate. I know there is a group of specialists in fibro and fatigue that have opened offices in diffrent cities in the US. I am not sure of their exact name, but I am sure if you surch, you will find them. Can't tell ya if they are good either as I ahve never been, but being fibro is their specialty, I would hope they could help a person out with that.
Hugs,
Maria

Have you been checked for Cushing's Disease? Your symptoms of bushy eyebrows... calf pain.. feelings of panic etc sound like levels of cortisol , the calf pain can be a symptom of elevated blood pressure, which can result from high levels of adrenelin from this disorder? As well, the bushy brows a result of possible early hursutism? ( excessive hair growth in women). I am not a Dr, but maybe bring it up at your next appointemnt, maybe research Cushings Disease and/or PCOS.. these are nothing more than ideas of course. And of course...FM... :(