Hi everyone!

A friend told me about this website and said that it would be a good place to get some feedback.

To make a long story short, our mother moved out of state last week so my teenage brother and sister are living with our dad to finish out the school year. This past weekend, my dad told me to ask my mom about my 13 year old sister pooping her pants.

I was shocked to learn she was still doing this. I knew she did it years ago, but thought she'd out-grown it. After speaking to Mom, I found out that she only stops in the summer. As soon as school starts up, so do the accidents.

After doing some reading on Encopresis, I'm pretty sure she has this. My only problem is how to bring this up to her without embarrassing her. I can relate in a way since I was a bedwetter until I was 19, but she really doesn't like to talk about it. She will deny it and practically get offended if someone even asks her if she's had an accident.

Mom told me to have her take a woman's laxative right after school so she'll have a BM before going to school the next day. I did this, but I still want to see this properly treated by a physician. Dad isn't the type to take off of work, so I would probably be the one taking her to the doctor. The good thing about that is, she sees the same doctor as my children, so they all know me quite well and would let me bring her in.

So my question to you all is, how can I talk to her about this? I want to keep the embarrassment to a minimum. I know she's going to be uncomfortable just talking about it, but I'm not the type to just let stuff go by without seeking out the causes or treatments. Any advice you can give me on how to approach her about this would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

~Shelly

Go online and look up soiling, constipation, encopresis. I am not allowed to give webpages on this board, but there are webpages that offer excellent info on all of these and some are written in a language that everyone can understand. Print a couple of them and leave them in her room with a note "I think we should talk. It is not a problem you can easily solve, it is your body. We need to heal your body".
Then give her a couple of days to digest all the info...

I don't have a 13year old so I am winging it here..but even my 7 year old felt so much better once she understood the problem. We met a doctor who sat her down and drew a picture of her belly and of mine and then explained what was different in each one (My intestines work properly, hers don't).

I am not sure if she would be old enough, but maybe she can have a say in what doctor you see? Your pediatrician or a male/female gastroentorologist?

This is a very embarrising problem, the aggression and denial are all part of it and very normal.

Hope this helps...
L.