Hi Friends,

Well it's a whole week since Mom flew to Ohio.

Except for the one call I made to be sure she was safely there, and the one 2 sentence e-mail saying, "Mom is fine, I see no signs at all of dementia, what have you been talking about" no further word. I am resisting the temptation to call her.

It is a different life. I don't have to rush home, and I am free to come and go as I wish. It is quiet at home (not counting the neighbors) and if I could I could sleep all night with no interruptions.

It is a strange and sudden change, and of course going much too fast. But now, I think : just over 2 more months of Momcare, then off to the peaceful Midwest and 'my own life' which remains to be defined....

It looks as if my job will continue until June 14, I think!

I read this Board several times a day and keep all of you in my prayers.

Love,

Martha

Hi Martha,

I'm glad you're enjoying your time of (as my Dad used to say) peace, quiet and, tranquility. It surely must be a refreshing change.

Hope your energy and batteries are recharged so you can deeply enjoy the remaining time alone, your birthday, and your upcoming trip!

I hope, too, that your mother isn't a bigger handful when she returns home. Don't close the door to leaving May 1 or at least your brother taking over then even if you stay until mid-June. Just keep it in mind and we'll hope it's not needed.

Happy St Patrick's day!! Barbara :D (green, you know!)

<b>**note to self**</b>

<u>STOP JEALOUS FEELINGS </u>...... be nice .. play fair .... Good Sally ...... Good Girl ....

No really Martha, I hope your first 'free' week has been (other than sleep) all you could imagine ....

Hugs
Sally

Hi Everyone!

May 1 is still an option. Bill thinks it would be hard to justify Mom's move if I am still at home. But she does not need to know it. She will be at their house and in 'another world', uless I came over, and even then she would think I am visiting from Indiana ..if she thought anything at all ...

But I kind of want to spend these last few weeks with her if it is possible ... if she isn't beginning to run away, or doing gross and dangerous things in my absence.

I already suggested they might take her on a weekend twice a month to give me relief or to get her used to her new home. No decision yet on that idea.

Meanwhile I've picked up a bladder infection which kept me up all night running to the bathroom. I'm on cranberry juice and cranberry extract tablets so it's already improving, plus lots of water and NO coffee ..I MUST go to school today: a parent is putting on a huge birthday party for her daughter, complete with pizza and a pinata ..and needs lots of help in controlling and directing the children, who can get quite wild when their usual routines are broken. If I don't think I can wait 1.5 hours for the bus commute, I may have to take a cab for the second bus ride, the shorter (cheaper!) leg of the commute ..or stop at a Mac Donald's along the way to use the rest room .. what a pain!

Love,

Martha

Oh Martha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your Mum goes away and you crash in illness!!! ACK !!!!! NO NO NO .. you have to improve so you can Appreciate your free-time!!!

This is orders .. from Sally !!!!!!!!!!

At least I'm crashing in front of my charges .. LOL .. stop doing it behind your mothers back !! LOL LOL LOL ............

Good one on the cranberry juice, and major fluids .. we also have a 'supplement' you can get from the supermarket and the chemist called "URAL" .. it makes a kind of fizzy drink when mixed with water. You drink a couple of sachets of those, and one UTI is GONE GONE GONE ... Oh gee it's frustrating living in diff. countries, you WOULD have the same stuff, possibly different name ..... works a treat ..

My *almost* 10 year old (on the 28th March) has suffered badly from UTI's all her young life .. when she get's it, it goes straight to her kidneys, and one of them shuts down instantly ... painful, and annoying !!!!!!!! She had an ultrasound with the last one and the kidney that shut down was the size of a raisin. Once the infection left her body, it 'pinked up' and was almost normal size. They've estimated that when she get's older, she'll probably end up having it removed .. then again .. who knows what's going to happen over the next 10 years? She was a chronic asthmatic for 3.5 years, and then it just 'miraculously' went away .... flares occassionaly, but NOTHING like it was .... so I sit and wait. If nothing, she will keep us guessing for the rest of our lives.

Just a small update on today: My blood pressure was 160/80 the first reading and 140/80 the second. I spent 45 minutes with the doctor HOWLING because of the 'truth' aspect ..

I gotta learn to be tough ......... I don't quite know how ..... but tough I have to learn to be ....

Lotza learning curves with our loved ones with this disease eh?

Hugs ......... Martha ...... Paracetamol, water and anything else you can get your hands on.

Hugs & Cheers

Sally

Hi Pals, I got through the day. Now I will take a weekend all for myself. I have to get well by my flight to FL on Thursday afternoon! No big cleaning projects. I can still do some early in the week after school, and still have 2 days (work days) before Mom's return ..and whatever I have not sorted out will be done later by me or Bill. I did a lot. I threw out lots of dishes too. More than half of them. I did not touch my Mom's china closet with her 'good' dishes .. . I think we will keep those for now. Store in Bill's garage or basement for (for what???) No one wants them. It is sad, but the objects and accumulations of a lifetime are of way less importance than the RELATIONSHIPS we have...

Now I need to rest. I wish I had that medicine you mentioned, Sally. I don't think we have any non prescription drug for UTI's here in the US. But my home remedy of cranberry juice is helping a lot. I'm just tired out. Plus a caffeine withdrawal headache .. maybe one teensy weensy cup is OK?

Love to all of you,

Martha

Just doing some checking up for you Martha,

"Due to the eliminative nature of Natural Apple Cider Vinegar, the kidneys and bladder can benefit tremendously by a 'flushing', which they receive when the following cider vinegar therapy is undertaken: two teaspoons of cider vinegar in a glass of water six times a day. It would be beneficial to drink a couple of glasses of water in the morning, taking one teaspoonful of cider vinegar in each drink. Comfrey tea, first thing in the morning with a teaspoon of cider vinegar will also create a sufficient cleansing action. Inflammation of the kidneys, called pyelitis, in which pus cells are present in the urine, will generally clear up with the above-mentioned treatment." (author unknown)

Looks interesting eh?

Will keep hunting .. gotta get Martha well quickly ....

Hugs
Sally

Hi Sally, You are a girl after my own heart! This is the kind of thing I will take long before I'll go to a doctor. (sorry all you RNs out there) .. I don't have any apple vinegar in the house but there are grocery stores all over the place..will try it!

Thanks!
M

Hi Martha,

Sorry you're bothered by this annoying malady while oh-so-free. Bummer! A urologist I used to work with declared that almost nothing your be wrong with kidneys that enough water wouldn't flush out. This weekend, drink lots of water!!

Hope you're better soon - cranberry, cider vinegar, water, and you'll float away if nothing else!!!!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Hello again .. well, my infection got worse instead of better and I got scared when the odor of my urine became like rotten eggs.

Well, of course this began in the middle of Friday night with my doctor not available until Monday - but, when Mom had a bad cold in February, he had prescribed an antibiotic for her "in case it gets worse and turns into an bacterial infection." It never did. But I have the pills in the house.

It is a drug called levaquin and is for a variety of bacterial infections. Well, after much thought and looking up all the restrictions and side effects on the Internet, I decided to self medicate (I KNOW it's a NO NO ) and took the first of 10 pills.
One of the side effects is extra sensititvity to sunlight. I'll have to cover up in Florida. But at least I should be feeling well again! It is a 10 day course of medication and you have to take all of it.

In any case, I can always contact an emergency medical facility if I should have major side effects or if the drug does not work. I got myself into this by not having my throat checked last week .. I now think I had strep throat also, and a common complication of that is a kidney infection.

Meanwhile, My FREE time is being spent being sick. Darn!

But I am glad Mom is not here right now, with me feeling so ill and not being able to depend on her to do anything to help me, or even to remember that I am sick.

Next posting will surely be good news! I have NOT received the e-mail or call I am longing for from Elsie, saying,"NOW I understand what you have been going through!"

love,

Martha

Oh Martha,

I'm sorry your sicker'er and not better'er .... it wasn't supposed to be like this .. but like I said, <b>NOW</b> you've relaxed some, your body has gone "oh good, some time for ME" and fallen apart .. LOL

It's a hint Martha, it's a hint .. **chuckle** Your free time WILL come .. your body just has some catch up to do.

I heard on the news today that the USA has 'chronic' episodes of Strep throat happening .. which means <b>ALL YOU READERS IN THE USA BE CAREFUL ....it's almost epidemic .. !!!!!!!!!!!</b> .. fortunately, our weather is just starting to get cool (oh gee it's nice after all this sweating .. lol)

Stay out of DIRECT sunlight is the main issue, which should be our day to day existence now (well, it is here in Australia ... I walk outside and instantly burn, but I have very fair skin ....) we're even being recommended to make sure our BABIES (newborns +) have sunglasses !!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Dad got put on tablets before he died last year to help his heart (a few years ago after a silent heart attack discovered 6 months after the event) .. and if he had sun exposure for more than 20 minutes he would turn blue ......

We had great delight in chuckling about him being crash tackled on the golf course for CPR around the 4th Green and being a lovely shade of blue ....

Oh and Martha ........ get some chicken soup ..... it really does work .... !! (water content helps flush the system ... )

Hugs and bestest wishes for feeling better

Sally

I need chicken soup for the soul ..and for the body ...

As soon as the sun comes up I'll go out and buy some plus that apple vinegar ..

I am afraid my brother and closest friend will object to my self medication and will insist I go to some/any doctor ..and if so he will probably be right ..we'll see how the day goes.

I do believe all illnesses have a psychological component and you are probably right that I am 'crashing' because I have been in a state of constant tension, fear and anxiety over my Mom for about a year. Yes, I've had breaks, like Christmas in Indiana, and now. But basically it has been go to work, hope Mom is OK for the 3 hours alone, put in my day at school, with lots of fun and joy but also the usual hassles, rush home, deal with Mom's irrationality all afternoon, evening and often at night too, go off to school etc... around the clock, for weeks and weeks on end ..then another short break ..(2 weeks in July/August, one week in December.)

It is a wonder I didn't fall apart before, but I couldn't: I always had something i absolutely had to do, couldn't get sick! Now I can, and obviously my body is yelling: you have to get a life of your own ..enough of this .. thus being much more susceptible to germs which would normally have no chance against my immune system ..

Thanks for caring

Love,

Martha

have you read the chicken Soup for the Soul books???

Absolutely AMAZING ......... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go shopping .. look after yourself ........... I would be on your doorstep if I a) knew where you lived and b) lived in your country .. LOL

Hugs
Sally

Yes, I've read some of them. They are great.

Bill says he'll drive me to HIS doctor who is open on Saturday mornings, it always involves a very long wait and I hate to do it. I might wait until Monday. i should see major improvement by then, and if not I can then go to a doctor near here.

My trip is on Thursday and I have to be well by then!!

M

Hi Martha,

I vote you go to the doctor and get on the best possible medicine today so you're chances of feeling better by Thursday are improved. If you wait until Monday, the best medicine will have 2 fewer days to work. Continue the cranberry juice and liquids - plus the soup.

Hope you feel better soon!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Bill agreed ..his Dr is open this morning but it's still to early to get through on the phone. He'll drive me there as soon as I get an appt. Will keep you posted, thanks for caring!

Martha

Now nearly 2 weeks.

Nothing came in from Elsie, neither phonecall, email or letter. Unbelievable.
It's like you said Barbara ..she would rather bite off her tongue than say "I was wrong."

Tomorrow late afternoon I fly off to sunny Miami. Snow is predicted for the night and the mornng, so I'll have to go to school dragging my small suitcase through snow onto the 2 buses .. I plan to take a taxi from school to the airport. Then - if no delays - I should be in Miami by 7:40 PM. Four blessed days with my son and the warm weather, the sea. and the flowers and brightness of a warm climate.

K does not have an internet connection at his apartment, but has to go to the University to send and receive email. I may not get a chance to visit this Board after tomorrow early AM.. but I'll be back , God willing, Monday afternoon and tell you all about my visit.

Love and blessings for the coming Easter holiday,

Martha

Vindicated .......... YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am jumping up and down on your behalf


MY TURN .............please?????????

Hugs
Sally

Martha, I just want to say have a GREAT time in sunny Florida!

I am SOOOO jealous! :D

My husband and I have friends who are retired. They spend their summers here and winters in southern Texas, near the Mexican border. They bought a mobile home out there a few years back. Our friend called yesterday to say it was 80 degrees and they had their windows open. OH HOW I WISH I WERE THERE! :)

Have a fun and safe trip!

Love, Barb

Martha, did you go to the doctor? How are you feeling? I hope you're all better for your trip.

Love, Barb

Yes, I did get antibiotics from the doctor and I'm much better now. Thanks!

Love,
Martha

Hi Martha,

Have a wonderful time in Florida!!!!!!!! Happy almost birthday, too!

Vaya con Dios, amiga!!

Blessings - Barbara :wave:

Happy Holiday's Martha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy , enjoy, enjoy !!

And Happy Easter to all as well !!

Hugs
Sally

Thanks girls for your birthday and Easter wishes, and for being happy for me that I can get away from winter (YES, it snowed again last night and there are 2" of slush on the ground right now!) for 4 days. I spoke to K last night and he has plans to do intersting things without being in the direct sunlight .. a sunset boat ride, a visit to an old mansion brought over brick by brick from Italy and full of antiques, and surrounded by lovely gardens, going for a swim late in the afternoon, to his church on Easter for a Pot Luck breakfast and Easter service, and to a nice restaurant on my birthday. On Monday - my return flight - he has an all day dive (his research project involves a lot of scuba diving) at 6:30 AM and will have to take me to the airport early, for my flight around 9:30. That's OK, I don't mind hanging around large airports, they are exciting.

Hope you all have a crisis free weekend. Let us know how the doctor's visit goes, Barb. I'll be back on Monday, God willing.

Love,

Martha

Hi Martha!

Welcome home!!! Hope your visit with your younger son was a delight from start to finish - even as early as you got up this morning! I agree that airports are interesting places to people watch.

Did your brother have any news to share from E. or BIL about your mother??! I've wondered if your brother got an ear full or a computer screen full during your absence!!!!!!! Oh, to be a fly on that wall!

Do keep in mind that it is possible to pack Mom off to your brother's home in May while you stay in the apartment until mid-June. Give yourself permission to ask for that help if you need to. Your mother won't care for long.

And now for a few last days of serenity and peace - may your enjoy yourself to the fullest!

Hugs - Barbara :wave:

Hi again,

I read your home-again report on the other thread and just wanted to tell you that K. is a gem!!!!!!! You must be so proud of him, his good sense, and his loving support. Cheers!!

How wonderful that you had this time away from NYC and to see there is another world out there! You are not running away and did not run away from Germany. You chose LIFE then, and you choose LIFE now - as a positive option and not selfish in the least. You are finishing up your turn and have done a wonderful, caring service to your mother. You are giving her care over to others who are prepared and willing. You are going to be where you can enjoy your daughter and her family, to be of help, to be included, to be there for school plays, for bring-your-grandmother-to-lunch days, for birthdays, and holidays, and sleep-overs, and choloclate chip cookies. As the commercial says, that's priceless. Go for it!!!

Requirement: All guilt stays in NYC.

Go find your Central Park picture!!!

Hugs - Barbara :)

Thanks Barbara, YOU are a gem! I'll find that picture yet! I had a turbulent flight home, late due to rainstorms all along the coast, and a drenching way home (bus and subway from the airport, no umbrella) but got home safely. School tomorrow.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Love,

Martha

Welcome back Martha! We missed you! :)

Hope you had a great time.

Love, Barb

Welcome Home Martha !!!!

I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time away ... a well deserved break and then some. Battery's recharged a little for the final stint??

Go get that Central Park Picture and put it up at eye level where you will keep seeing it constantly !!!

Many hugs

Sally