Hello Friends,

I went to the doctor and it was quite amazing. He was very understanding, and besides handing me free samples of the antibiotic I need (I told him I have no prescriprtion drug insuarance) he listened for a long time about my Mom's problems and the way it is affecting my life.

His opinion is, she ought to be in an assisted care facility. He also 100%agreed with you, Sally, by saying taking full time care of your mother and a full time job is too much for anyone. It is a wonder you did not get sick long before this.

I have to go back to the pharmacy to pick up the other drug, something to ease the pain ... but he gave me 8 (sample) antibiotic pills for nothing!

He told me all 6 of his adult children have their orders: "if Mom or I ever get Dementia, we WANT to be in an assisted living facility and NOT stay at home or go to live with one of you, NO MATTER WHAT WE MAY SAY THEN."

I told my brother this on the way back in the car. He says we will not rule it out altogheter, but maybe later ... not yet.

Now I have to conitnue on the cranberry juice and start the 2nd drug. Oh, by the way, the antiboitic is the SAME ONE I had begun taking early this morning .So I was not wrong , after all -

- yet this visit did me a world of good, just to hear a professional tell me what I already know!

Love,

Martha

What a great doctor! And for him to listen to you about your mom and all was just wonderful. It feels really good to have your thoughts and feelings validated by a person who knows about dementia, doesn't it?

Oh Martha, if I only knew your addy, I would send you a nice care package with all the fixin's needed to drive that infection out of you. But all I can send is warm wishes and cyber hugs.

I've missed you guys the past couple of days. My pc crashed. My Windows XP went bonkers. A major file was deleted somehow. I tell ya, with all the protection my pc has, you would think it belonged to the Pentagon or something. Something still got in and caused me to have to spend $240 to repair it.

I think dad's getting ready to go into hissy fit again soon. He gets really quiet before he goes into one. He knows I had the plumber here to give me an estimate on how much it would cost to replace a main water valve and kitchen faucett. Any time work has to be done on the house, he freaks because he doesn't realize that whatever is being done HAS to be done. You should have seen him a couple of years ago when my brother-in-law replaced a window. Dad didn't think anything was wrong with the window because the inside glass was still intact. Even when we showed him that everything on the outside had actually FALLEN OUT on to the ground, he INSISTED that he didn't need a new window. Hmmmm. Ah well, such is life at the moment.

Chicken Soup for the Soul-I love those books! So calming.

Take care and Love to all!!!

Love, Barb

Welcome back, I was wondering where you were!

Update on Mom's visit: my sister did not write, but my Brother in Law did!

AND, he admits - in his own less dramatic way than I might put things - that Mom can never be allowed to live alone, she would always forget her pills or take too many (they give them to her, then she asks if she had them.) She tells garbled and false stories, misplacing my brother's house and job, etc. After a particularly busy day (when she is there it is vacation for all, nobody goes to work anyway, so they take her to concerts, swimming, visiting and much more) she said at night "I am not tired, we didn't really do anything today."

SO .. HE SEES IT! HE admits it. Without saying Mom is in bad shape, he more or less admits that there is indeed a deterioration taking place, and the longer she is there, the more will become visible. I think my sister comandeered him to the Internet to write, because she might have to admit something if she writes ...

Anyway, that and the Dr's undertsanding made my day, now I just have to get well fast so I can work until Thursday noon (the woman who substitutes for us is sick in the hospital with a heart bypass..) and then OFF to sunny Florida. Even if I have to stay in the shade, 80 in the shade sounds like paradise after the snows and storms of this long long winter.

Meanwhile, Bill told me he is now having insomnia worrying abut how to manage everything once Mom is at their house, and there's a new baby coming in June, and Anna has promised to baby sit when her daughter in law goes back to work, etc.

I can't say just relax, all will work out! He did say that he puts a deadline on Momcare and that is January 2008. She would be 100 the October before ..I don't think she will last, but if she does, THEN it's time for the assisted living quasi nursing hme ... so he and Anna are actually only promising just under 3 years of Momcare. I am hoping she peacefully goes to Heaven before getting much more confused, forgetting how to walk or swallow, etc.

I think she is too old to need to go through those stages.

Love to all

A much relieved and happier

Martha

Martha, I had a feeling that someone there would say "I see something is not right with mom". I had hoped that it would have been E but, hey, this is a good step. Who knows? Maybe E was behind it, maybe not. The point is that if others are seeing it there, so is E.

I thought that if you hadn't stayed in touch, they would admit somehow that things were not as good as E was trying to convince you.

I am SOOOO happy for you!!! First the validation from the doctor and now, a sort of "you were right" from Denialville....lol! :)

Lets hope the good news keeps coming.

How are you feeling today?

Love, Barb

Hi Barb,

I think it's partly the antibiotic and partly the disease (UTI) but I am totally wiped out. Had to walk to and from the pharamcy - 4 blocks each way - and buy a few items at a local store and that's all I did all day outside of the doctor visit.

Yet it has been a good day.

My daughter is going to drive to Dayton with the 2 boys on Easter Sunday afternoon. It's a 4 hour drive each way. They'll stay overnight in a motel. She wants to see her grandmother once more before Mom either departs this world or gets too senile to remember her. Her husband is working (he's an RN) so she's going alone with the 2 and 5 year old boys. I kind of hope Elsie invites them to sleep there, they have room enough. But I'm glad she agreed to having them come down .. they tried it once before when Mom was there and were told 'too stressful'.

My brother took 2 more packages to mail to Indiana for me ... that's it now, I think. In the firm belief that SPRING is coming, I sent off all winter clothes except things I don't want any more after this ..things I'll throw out instead of moving.

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

Love,

Martha

Hi!!

Martha, that's just the best news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll be on the mend soon, a great doctor has commended you for enduring all you have for this long, and the email from your BIL - as my Dh says - WHAT EXONERATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hooo Haaaa!! E. has seen the light haha, E. has seen the light! What she may say can be countered with, "when did you become an ostrich? Mom is like she is and you know it no matter what you choose to say out loud." Do add a Bronx cheer!!! Oh Ho HO!

Hope you have a good book or favorite TV show, a cozy quilt or blanket, a quick and easy supper, and a cup of tea. No where you must go, no one you must tend to, and just relaxing, recooperating time!

((hugs)) and blessings - Barbara :)

YAY Martha !!!!!!!!!!!!

What good news ........ see .. we told you it would happen, you just had to be patient, and HAPPEN IT DID ....... !!!!!!!!!!!!

Betcha start feeling better too ... internally and externally ....

Only a few more days until your glorious holiday .. can I come too???? Puhleeeze?? I'll try and hide away in a suitcase ... lol lol ....

Stay on your cranberry juice diet ... and the Apple Cider vinegar is brilliant. I tried it many many years ago when my asthma flared and I was sick for weeks .. finally got onto the Apple cider vinegar and within 2 days was able to leave the house and talk on the phone without choking ........

I'm SO glad this is all falling into place for you !!!!!

Big squeezy hugs
Sally

Hey Sally, does apple cider vinegar work for bronchitis too? I've had a couple of really nasty bouts over the winter. I still have the ugly coughing episodes from my last one.

Love, Barb

Yes it does Barb ... it's anatural diuretic (sp?), cleanser and booster upper of auto immune systems .......

Actually .. you should have 1 tablespoon in a glass of water EVERY morning, whether ill or not .....

My friend had adult chicken pox, and felt beyond death (which I experienced 3 weeks later .. lovely friend shared) once she started on the Apple cider Vinegar, she improved, so she handed it to me when I got the Chicken Pox (Note to readers: IMMUNISE, IMMUNISE .. you do NOT want adult chicken pox) and I must admit, it made me feel much better .... then again with the asthma/bronchitis thing .. and I still have it in the fridge. I don't take it every day (probably should tho) ... tastes like crap, but it does help !!

Well, my personal opinion that is .... :-)

Goodluck .. I can see sales of Apple Cider Vinegar booming ... LOL

Hugs
Sally

Wonderful words, ladies: validation, exoneration ..you all pass the essay test with flying colors :D :D ! These words express my relief. At last, on one day, 2 other people told me that they understand how hard it is to live with Mom day in and day out. It is not her fault, nor are we blaming her, it is just by nature hard. Dr S. also said he had had a patient who was 'impossible' to live with, also an AD victim and living with a daughter. That woman was a fussy eater and could not be pleased. Finally she went to one of those assisted living places, and, amazingly, she was happy there! She said 'at last someone knows how to cook for me!" Go figure.

Feeling slightly better this 'morning' at 3 AM ...

Love,

Martha

"I think dad's getting ready to go into hissy fit again soon. He gets really quiet before he goes into one. He knows I had the plumber here..."

Dear Barb, it is interesting that you 'feel' the oncoming explosion. What could you do to prevent it or ease it. Is there anything that calms him down, like a certain type of music, chocolate candy or asking him about a favorite subject?

When Mom seems unusually quiet (happening more often now) I ask her about the day her family arrived in New York. She had already been here 2 years, working and saving money to help pay their passage. When her brother, around 14 at the time, saw the dirty snow - they arrived in February, 1928 - he exclaimed, Mama, in America the snow is BLACK! Talking about those old old times cheers her up, even if she gets the facts wrong.

Wishing you well for the 'hissy fit!"

Love,

Martha

Thanks Martha! I'll try that next time.
And Sally, when I get off wotk tonight, I'll get some apple cider vinegar.
Have to get ready for work now.
Have a great day everyone!
Love, Barb

Hi Friends,

Off to work today .. I have a bit of a hassle with side effects of antibiotics, and am taking acidophilus tablets to counteract that - so here's hoping my commute is not a disaster ...

Also on yoghurt for the same reason. I did get the apple cider vinegar and drank a cup of hot water with 1 tbsp in it ; is it right to drink it hot? I think it tastes fairly good!

Antibiotics, a red pill for UT pain - which turned body fluids bright RED, apple cider vinegar, cranberry juice, chicken soup, lots of water, I guess I'll be fit as a fiddle in a few days!! (German proverb: what doesn't kill me makes me stronger ...)

Have a good week, everyone. Hope solutions are found to the various caregiver problems, and other problems in your lives as well.

Love,

Martha