rmc12
03-25-2005, 01:14 PM
Hi,
Ok, as some of you know I am in the middle of a huge bout of peri ANXIETY at the moment. I know many of you have "been there" and "are there" and I thank you ahead of time for listening.
I am 50 soon to be 51 in April and as I mentioned in a post at some point I have not had a routine colonoscopy yet and they say one should get it at 50 and over. I am obsessing about this to the MAX and I know it is peri that is making me do it. But I cannot seem to help myself out of it!!
Last year when I went for my yearly physical , this first came up as the doctor just mentioned in passing , that "oh, you will be 50 this year so at some point schedule your colonoscopy." I panicked, even though I knew he was not saying it for any reason other than routine (he also at the same time said he'd write an order up for my husband too as he thought he was turning 50 , which he wasn't ...it is this year he turns 50 so I knew the dr. was just doing it routinely). ANYWAY...I did not get it done. I just was so stressed and also found out anyway that our insurance did not cover it till we were 55 if it was just for routine which it would be. So that was that and I figured I'd get it done then.
NOW....I found out this year our insurance as of this year is covering all routine procedures and that is included. I have been stressing terribly about this and wake up anxious about it almost every morning, try to get it out of my head, sometimes successfully but then it creeps up at some point at times.
I self talk to myself : "why are you getting all upset about something A LOT of people have not even done yet who are older than you and also A LOT of people have got it done and say it is not a big deal, the prep is the worse thing, etc. etc. I have people I know who are older than me that have never had it and are not at all stressing, so why am I??? " My husband just feels he'll get it done when he is 55 and is not the least bit worried about it. Two friends of mine , my age are getting it done this year and it is not a big stresser to either of them. A friend recently got it done for the 2nd time (she has a history in her family so had her first one in 1998) and has written me too that it is not a big deal. SO why am I so upset over this and keep in mind I have not even made the appt. yet!!
On one hand I was just going to not do it this year as I am so stressed with peri that I thought why add to it by stressing about this?? But since I can't seem to stop obsessing over it I am also thinking why not just get it over with. The place I'd go to has a consult first and then you make your appt for the exam, and I already cancelled once this month (the consult) and I could have had the consult and the exam done by now . I am making myself a wreck over something as I said that most people have had and say it is not a biggie, or people have not had yet, older than me, and they are not at all stressing over it.
What I stress over with it is : the exam itself, I know you are giving sedation of some sort but that in itself scares me. I had two teeth pulled as I had to have them out to be able to wear Invisalign braces , 2 years ago and I did not want to be out as many people opt for with that and wisdom teeth. Even years ago for my wisdom teeth I opted for not being "out". That really scares me. I know with my wisdom teeth they gave me something that just relaxed me, in my arm and I remembered little about it later. I would rather be aware but not feeling pain of course. And I hope it is a quick exam. I am also stressed about what they find and I am thinking that maybe that is why I am so obsessed with it : that something is wrong with me. I also am stressing something is going to happen to me with the sedation or the exam!! I know this is all ridiculous by the way as I am stressing!! It is like I have two people talking to me, the rational me and the irrational peri me.
I know this is largely due to my hormones bouncing all over but I am in such a state over it that I am near tears at times.
I am writing to vent but also want to know if any of you get upset about this particular exam and stress over it?? Also if any of you have had it and what you can tell me to hopefully ease my fears. I have a birthday coming up in 2 weeks, our 25th anniversary in the summer and my husband's 50th that I am excited to plan...I do not want this one routine exam to be occupying so much of my mind and not being able to be productive due to it and not able to enjoy things fully. My husband is very understanding and has said to either just try to forgot about it and not get it till I want to as it is just routine, or just get it over with and that everything is going to be alright. I know he is right but I can't seem to focus and am getting my whole system upset. (then of course I am thinking something is wrong when that happens!!)
I go for yearly mammograms and Paps and naturally get apprehensive about the outcome but I do it. I do not like to do the Pap as far as comfort lately as these past 2 years she has had to dilate my cervix (she said that in peri the opening to the cervix gets smaller, especially if one has not had children, which I haven't). So when she does that it is obviously not pleasant but I go. This test just scares me, the prep, the sedation, the exam process, etc.
SO, that is where I am today. We are having relatives here for Easter, arriving today and I am barely getting thru, at least not to where I usually am when we are having a celebration like this. I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other and do what I can. I just am so mad at myself that I have allowed this one "thought" of an exam I may or may not have this year, get me like this.
Do you sometimes feel like Peri anxiety is taking hold of your mind??
Thanks for your input as always.
rmc
Ok, as some of you know I am in the middle of a huge bout of peri ANXIETY at the moment. I know many of you have "been there" and "are there" and I thank you ahead of time for listening.
I am 50 soon to be 51 in April and as I mentioned in a post at some point I have not had a routine colonoscopy yet and they say one should get it at 50 and over. I am obsessing about this to the MAX and I know it is peri that is making me do it. But I cannot seem to help myself out of it!!
Last year when I went for my yearly physical , this first came up as the doctor just mentioned in passing , that "oh, you will be 50 this year so at some point schedule your colonoscopy." I panicked, even though I knew he was not saying it for any reason other than routine (he also at the same time said he'd write an order up for my husband too as he thought he was turning 50 , which he wasn't ...it is this year he turns 50 so I knew the dr. was just doing it routinely). ANYWAY...I did not get it done. I just was so stressed and also found out anyway that our insurance did not cover it till we were 55 if it was just for routine which it would be. So that was that and I figured I'd get it done then.
NOW....I found out this year our insurance as of this year is covering all routine procedures and that is included. I have been stressing terribly about this and wake up anxious about it almost every morning, try to get it out of my head, sometimes successfully but then it creeps up at some point at times.
I self talk to myself : "why are you getting all upset about something A LOT of people have not even done yet who are older than you and also A LOT of people have got it done and say it is not a big deal, the prep is the worse thing, etc. etc. I have people I know who are older than me that have never had it and are not at all stressing, so why am I??? " My husband just feels he'll get it done when he is 55 and is not the least bit worried about it. Two friends of mine , my age are getting it done this year and it is not a big stresser to either of them. A friend recently got it done for the 2nd time (she has a history in her family so had her first one in 1998) and has written me too that it is not a big deal. SO why am I so upset over this and keep in mind I have not even made the appt. yet!!
On one hand I was just going to not do it this year as I am so stressed with peri that I thought why add to it by stressing about this?? But since I can't seem to stop obsessing over it I am also thinking why not just get it over with. The place I'd go to has a consult first and then you make your appt for the exam, and I already cancelled once this month (the consult) and I could have had the consult and the exam done by now . I am making myself a wreck over something as I said that most people have had and say it is not a biggie, or people have not had yet, older than me, and they are not at all stressing over it.
What I stress over with it is : the exam itself, I know you are giving sedation of some sort but that in itself scares me. I had two teeth pulled as I had to have them out to be able to wear Invisalign braces , 2 years ago and I did not want to be out as many people opt for with that and wisdom teeth. Even years ago for my wisdom teeth I opted for not being "out". That really scares me. I know with my wisdom teeth they gave me something that just relaxed me, in my arm and I remembered little about it later. I would rather be aware but not feeling pain of course. And I hope it is a quick exam. I am also stressed about what they find and I am thinking that maybe that is why I am so obsessed with it : that something is wrong with me. I also am stressing something is going to happen to me with the sedation or the exam!! I know this is all ridiculous by the way as I am stressing!! It is like I have two people talking to me, the rational me and the irrational peri me.
I know this is largely due to my hormones bouncing all over but I am in such a state over it that I am near tears at times.
I am writing to vent but also want to know if any of you get upset about this particular exam and stress over it?? Also if any of you have had it and what you can tell me to hopefully ease my fears. I have a birthday coming up in 2 weeks, our 25th anniversary in the summer and my husband's 50th that I am excited to plan...I do not want this one routine exam to be occupying so much of my mind and not being able to be productive due to it and not able to enjoy things fully. My husband is very understanding and has said to either just try to forgot about it and not get it till I want to as it is just routine, or just get it over with and that everything is going to be alright. I know he is right but I can't seem to focus and am getting my whole system upset. (then of course I am thinking something is wrong when that happens!!)
I go for yearly mammograms and Paps and naturally get apprehensive about the outcome but I do it. I do not like to do the Pap as far as comfort lately as these past 2 years she has had to dilate my cervix (she said that in peri the opening to the cervix gets smaller, especially if one has not had children, which I haven't). So when she does that it is obviously not pleasant but I go. This test just scares me, the prep, the sedation, the exam process, etc.
SO, that is where I am today. We are having relatives here for Easter, arriving today and I am barely getting thru, at least not to where I usually am when we are having a celebration like this. I am just trying to put one foot in front of the other and do what I can. I just am so mad at myself that I have allowed this one "thought" of an exam I may or may not have this year, get me like this.
Do you sometimes feel like Peri anxiety is taking hold of your mind??
Thanks for your input as always.
rmc
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jacqbu
03-25-2005, 01:32 PM
I have done the same thing. When I was going through the period of having all these tests done I would almost stroke out. I never used to get so anxious about things. I have become a complete worrier. The thing is, usually when the test is over it wasn't that bad. Hang in there.
molly123
03-25-2005, 01:33 PM
Hi RMC,
Hey, OK, I'll make the decision for you...just b/c you are turning 50 doesn't mean you have to have done this year. So, DON'T have the colonoscopy until you are feeling better, less anxiety ridden, have your peri-meno symptoms under control, or when you are just better ready for it. Make that decision and forget about it! You are a responsible person and have always had other routine med checkups so we know that you're not going to not ever have it done - it just a matter of when you will. Right now, the time just isn't right for you!!
I had a colonscopy appt. scheduled the year I was 50 but it was scheduled at the time when I was going thru my bad peri-meno symptoms, incl. having peri-anxiety! I couldn't handle having to go thru it so I cancelled it. I was feeling so bad that I couldn't even get my teeth cleaned, get my haircut even and I didn't care either!
I will turn 52 next week (Aries!) and did just make a call to the dr. to have a colonscopy schedule some time in April - haven't heard back from the receptionist yet. Since my last post to you, I have decided to do it and get it over with. I keep thinking about it too but I know I should have it done and everyone tells me it isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. They say you end up falling asleep/knocked out from it anyway. I think it can't be worse than having a pap. See, I have problems going for the pap. I always get really scared, panicky, anxious over it. With me, it's very painful and invasive and embarrassing! I hate it! I never had kids so it's not that easy for me. So, I understand the extent as to how nervous you have been feeling!
So, what do ya say, RMC? You're going to have it done, but not right now, right?? You are going to have it done when you're ready for it and no one says you have to have it done this year just b/c you turn the big 5-0!! By the way, Happy Birthday! You must be an Aries too?
molly
Hey, OK, I'll make the decision for you...just b/c you are turning 50 doesn't mean you have to have done this year. So, DON'T have the colonoscopy until you are feeling better, less anxiety ridden, have your peri-meno symptoms under control, or when you are just better ready for it. Make that decision and forget about it! You are a responsible person and have always had other routine med checkups so we know that you're not going to not ever have it done - it just a matter of when you will. Right now, the time just isn't right for you!!
I had a colonscopy appt. scheduled the year I was 50 but it was scheduled at the time when I was going thru my bad peri-meno symptoms, incl. having peri-anxiety! I couldn't handle having to go thru it so I cancelled it. I was feeling so bad that I couldn't even get my teeth cleaned, get my haircut even and I didn't care either!
I will turn 52 next week (Aries!) and did just make a call to the dr. to have a colonscopy schedule some time in April - haven't heard back from the receptionist yet. Since my last post to you, I have decided to do it and get it over with. I keep thinking about it too but I know I should have it done and everyone tells me it isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. They say you end up falling asleep/knocked out from it anyway. I think it can't be worse than having a pap. See, I have problems going for the pap. I always get really scared, panicky, anxious over it. With me, it's very painful and invasive and embarrassing! I hate it! I never had kids so it's not that easy for me. So, I understand the extent as to how nervous you have been feeling!
So, what do ya say, RMC? You're going to have it done, but not right now, right?? You are going to have it done when you're ready for it and no one says you have to have it done this year just b/c you turn the big 5-0!! By the way, Happy Birthday! You must be an Aries too?
molly
rmc12
03-25-2005, 02:40 PM
Molly,
Thanks for your reply, I had tears in my eyes (So what else is new?!! LOL!! Seems like a routine thing for me lately!! ) reading it!! Yes, I am an Aries also(birthday is April 12th and will be turning 51 this year, last year was the big 50. But my husband and I make big events out of our birthday so i am looking forward to it as I am celebrating his 50th this year. When is your birthday in April, by the way?
You make great sense as always , that just because I am 50 and will be over 50 in April I do not have to have it immediately done this year. Your sharing with me that when you were at the height of your perianxiety you cancelled yours and also could not go to the dentist or get your haircut, points out again to me that it is peri that gets a hold of us of course. I just hope that if I do not get it this year that I do not always find myself in an anxiety ridden state about it when I do go to have it done. But from what you are saying you feel better equipped mentally and emotionally now to do so and did not 2 years ago. So that says a lot.
I understand fully your feelings about the Pap. Especially since I have not had children either it is something that I have never been relaxed about when they are doing it, especially the manual exam. And now that she has to dilate every time I go , it is painful and I do dread it. From what people tell me about the colonoscopy it probably takes less time than the Pap does!!
I think that the illiac crest area twinges that i know you are famliar with, get me thinking that something is wrong (haven't had them really much this week though) and then I do have some loose stool at times ...but nothing like runs or anything and the way I am working myself up I know that I probably am doing that to myself!! Then there is the gas that we all have talked about and I start thinking it has something to do with the colon...again do not have this all the time and I know it is something many of us deal with in peri. But while I am obsessing over the colonoscopy I do start thinking about it and worrying I am delaying it and shouldn't. I know our mind is very powerful that is for sure and mine is overactive at the moment.
Last year it took a good 3 months and a bit more for me to feel myself when the peri physical symptoms subsided and with it the anxiety. I hope I get to that point again!!
Thanks again for your post and for taking the time to talk to me as you do. I was reading some posts from earlier last year and I was in a state then too. Then I read posts I wrote from June on and I was so much better. I really hope that happens again!!
Thank you again Molly from one Aries to another!!
rmc
Thanks for your reply, I had tears in my eyes (So what else is new?!! LOL!! Seems like a routine thing for me lately!! ) reading it!! Yes, I am an Aries also(birthday is April 12th and will be turning 51 this year, last year was the big 50. But my husband and I make big events out of our birthday so i am looking forward to it as I am celebrating his 50th this year. When is your birthday in April, by the way?
You make great sense as always , that just because I am 50 and will be over 50 in April I do not have to have it immediately done this year. Your sharing with me that when you were at the height of your perianxiety you cancelled yours and also could not go to the dentist or get your haircut, points out again to me that it is peri that gets a hold of us of course. I just hope that if I do not get it this year that I do not always find myself in an anxiety ridden state about it when I do go to have it done. But from what you are saying you feel better equipped mentally and emotionally now to do so and did not 2 years ago. So that says a lot.
I understand fully your feelings about the Pap. Especially since I have not had children either it is something that I have never been relaxed about when they are doing it, especially the manual exam. And now that she has to dilate every time I go , it is painful and I do dread it. From what people tell me about the colonoscopy it probably takes less time than the Pap does!!
I think that the illiac crest area twinges that i know you are famliar with, get me thinking that something is wrong (haven't had them really much this week though) and then I do have some loose stool at times ...but nothing like runs or anything and the way I am working myself up I know that I probably am doing that to myself!! Then there is the gas that we all have talked about and I start thinking it has something to do with the colon...again do not have this all the time and I know it is something many of us deal with in peri. But while I am obsessing over the colonoscopy I do start thinking about it and worrying I am delaying it and shouldn't. I know our mind is very powerful that is for sure and mine is overactive at the moment.
Last year it took a good 3 months and a bit more for me to feel myself when the peri physical symptoms subsided and with it the anxiety. I hope I get to that point again!!
Thanks again for your post and for taking the time to talk to me as you do. I was reading some posts from earlier last year and I was in a state then too. Then I read posts I wrote from June on and I was so much better. I really hope that happens again!!
Thank you again Molly from one Aries to another!!
rmc
rmc12
03-25-2005, 02:45 PM
Jacbu,
Thanks for your post. I too never have got so anxious about things as I do now in peri. I hate it!!
Thanks for your input and you are right that the tests usually are not as bad as we are obsessing about but it is getting that mind to stop obsessing that is the hard thing!!
rmc
Thanks for your post. I too never have got so anxious about things as I do now in peri. I hate it!!
Thanks for your input and you are right that the tests usually are not as bad as we are obsessing about but it is getting that mind to stop obsessing that is the hard thing!!
rmc
molly123
03-25-2005, 03:54 PM
Hi RMC,
Oh, I thought you were turning 50 this year - guess the old bonker of mine isn't working too clearly today! LOL! Anyway, my birthday is on the 29th of March. I don't make a big deal about my birthday - never have. I usually get anxiety and even get sick whenever I turn the "0" age - meaning it happened to me when I turned 30, 40, and the worse was 50. I really dread getting old - it all means everyone else is old too and that means problems, illness, death.
The peri-meno stuff can really affect you physically and emotionally so psych yourself out NOW and come to terms NOW that you are not going to have the colonoscopy done this year and then go on taking care of other things in your life now. I think peri-women have a enough things to worry about when something like the colonoscopy can wait a few years. I know men and women who haven't had it done til their mid to late 50's and some never had it done at all. My friend who is 96 never had it done until last year - she had some bleeding and is fine now. She is from the time where people didn't go to the dr. unless you are sick amd she thinks that sometimes the more drs. you see, the more pills they prescribe, and more stuff happens to you! I think it's true too.
You are not having colon problems - you can have loose stools from anxiety! And the same goes with gas. You make yourself all scared and nervous making your stomach upset. If you had anything wrong with your colon, you would probably be bleeding, pooing black stools, or is so constipated that you feel like you have to go but can't and I don't mean for a day or so - I mean feeling this way all the time for weeks.
My illiac crest area has been better. It's better today than yesterday. There are days when I'm achy and stiff only - not in pain really. Then sometimes I'm achy near my spine area, upper hip area. I find I have a hard time bending down. My knees aren't like they used to be either. I don't spring up like I used to! Very frustrating, esp. since I work out and walk a lot too! I sometimes think something is wrong too but it definitely feels like a joint thing. It is suppose to be very common as we get older, esp. in our 50's, when we get hit with aches and pain. It runs in my family also - my mom, my sister, my brother - we all have aches and pain - or maybe we just complain louder about it than some people! LOL! Are you taking anything? I use FlexAll sometimes and it helps a bit too.
I much rather have a mouthful of root canals than to go get a pap! Just thinking about it brings on the anxiety! LOL! So, hang on there, RMC, and have a good Easter weekend. Only you can make yourself well and feel better!
molly
Oh, I thought you were turning 50 this year - guess the old bonker of mine isn't working too clearly today! LOL! Anyway, my birthday is on the 29th of March. I don't make a big deal about my birthday - never have. I usually get anxiety and even get sick whenever I turn the "0" age - meaning it happened to me when I turned 30, 40, and the worse was 50. I really dread getting old - it all means everyone else is old too and that means problems, illness, death.
The peri-meno stuff can really affect you physically and emotionally so psych yourself out NOW and come to terms NOW that you are not going to have the colonoscopy done this year and then go on taking care of other things in your life now. I think peri-women have a enough things to worry about when something like the colonoscopy can wait a few years. I know men and women who haven't had it done til their mid to late 50's and some never had it done at all. My friend who is 96 never had it done until last year - she had some bleeding and is fine now. She is from the time where people didn't go to the dr. unless you are sick amd she thinks that sometimes the more drs. you see, the more pills they prescribe, and more stuff happens to you! I think it's true too.
You are not having colon problems - you can have loose stools from anxiety! And the same goes with gas. You make yourself all scared and nervous making your stomach upset. If you had anything wrong with your colon, you would probably be bleeding, pooing black stools, or is so constipated that you feel like you have to go but can't and I don't mean for a day or so - I mean feeling this way all the time for weeks.
My illiac crest area has been better. It's better today than yesterday. There are days when I'm achy and stiff only - not in pain really. Then sometimes I'm achy near my spine area, upper hip area. I find I have a hard time bending down. My knees aren't like they used to be either. I don't spring up like I used to! Very frustrating, esp. since I work out and walk a lot too! I sometimes think something is wrong too but it definitely feels like a joint thing. It is suppose to be very common as we get older, esp. in our 50's, when we get hit with aches and pain. It runs in my family also - my mom, my sister, my brother - we all have aches and pain - or maybe we just complain louder about it than some people! LOL! Are you taking anything? I use FlexAll sometimes and it helps a bit too.
I much rather have a mouthful of root canals than to go get a pap! Just thinking about it brings on the anxiety! LOL! So, hang on there, RMC, and have a good Easter weekend. Only you can make yourself well and feel better!
molly
dwp512
03-25-2005, 04:27 PM
Hey Rmc,
I had to have a colonoscopy last month because they couldn't figure out why I was loosing weight. The worse part was the drinking of the prep stuff that cleans you out the night before. My suggestion is to make your appointment for early morning so you don't have to fast all day...and you get it over with. the procedure itself is a breeze. I remember them giving me the anesthetic and then nothing till they were all done. That night actually felt great...probably the lingering medicine. You should also know that I am probably the most paranoid, health anxiety person in the world right now. My hands are shaking as I write this!
Hang in there.
DWP
I had to have a colonoscopy last month because they couldn't figure out why I was loosing weight. The worse part was the drinking of the prep stuff that cleans you out the night before. My suggestion is to make your appointment for early morning so you don't have to fast all day...and you get it over with. the procedure itself is a breeze. I remember them giving me the anesthetic and then nothing till they were all done. That night actually felt great...probably the lingering medicine. You should also know that I am probably the most paranoid, health anxiety person in the world right now. My hands are shaking as I write this!
Hang in there.
DWP
newbie5
03-25-2005, 07:15 PM
Hi Rmc! I agree with Dwp, the procedure isn't too bad, it's the prep that is worse. I'm 41 and have had many, many colonoscopy's due to Crohn's disease. I personally LOVE the anesthesia they give you to put you in the "twilight sleep" state! I said I would love to have a pump of that by my bed at night! The prep, now that is another story! Nasty, but tolerable. I always tell myself when I have colonoscopy's, pelvic ultrasounds (just had one the other day), mammograms, paps, etc. that these doctors do this all the time and have seen many butt's, boobs, crotches, etc. and mine probably isn't much different then anyone elses! :) I agree about the "health anxiety". I think I have been to the doctor SO much lately trying to figure out what is wrong with me that I have truly reached my limit and want to be left alone. I had a couple of different doctor appointments that I cancelled awhile back because I felt this way. I guess I see both sides, if you get it over with, you will, well "get it over with". And if you decide to wait, it might help to set yourself a deadline and say, I will call and make the appointment in 6 months or whenever you feel ready and then try to forget about it the best you can. I hope you feel better soon, I can totally relate!
kittenlover
03-25-2005, 11:54 PM
Oh how I can relate to your peri-anxiety. I swear that it seems so silly AFTER the ordeal you have dreaded about, but at the time, it seems overwhelming.
So many great suggestions already....don't go till you're ready. After all, what did people do prior to this becoming a routine screening? My DH will be 65 in June and he STILL has NEVER had one. I'm not saying that waiting that long is wise....but it beats stressing over it.
I personally think your biggest fear is that they will find something; anyway, that is always my biggest fear. I cannot drive to my gyn for a routine exam because in my head, I worry she will say ovarian cancer.
On a better note...I have had a sygmoidoscopy (similar to a colonoscopy except they just don't go up quite as far)....and I had no anesthetic. I was 42 at the time. I had some bleeding and they wanted to make sure things were OK. Turns out it was nothing (fissure and hemorhoids(sp?)). SO....if the anesthetic is worrying you, you could skip it. It absolutely did NOT(!!!!!) hurt at all...nothing...not even a twinge or a pinch...nada, zip, zilch, zero pain. Less discomfort or embarassment than a pap (in my humble opinion).
I have to say, you expressed yourself almost exactly the way I think when a doctor tells me something....I too have to reassure myself that "it is routine" and not specific to me. I guess it finally hit me when I reminded my gyn about something she had said the year before and she TOTALLY FORGOT....so there you go....we are not special to them. They tell us stuff to cover their basis and to provide us with good info to keep us healthy...but they don't know anything in advance about how our tests will turn out. They can't make us have something simply by telling us to test for it! It was a huge lightbulb moment for me.
I wish you luck. There is no rhyme or reason why these feelings hit us...but let it ride. Go with the feelings and don't punish yourself for having them. When you're ready, you will make the appointment.
So many great suggestions already....don't go till you're ready. After all, what did people do prior to this becoming a routine screening? My DH will be 65 in June and he STILL has NEVER had one. I'm not saying that waiting that long is wise....but it beats stressing over it.
I personally think your biggest fear is that they will find something; anyway, that is always my biggest fear. I cannot drive to my gyn for a routine exam because in my head, I worry she will say ovarian cancer.
On a better note...I have had a sygmoidoscopy (similar to a colonoscopy except they just don't go up quite as far)....and I had no anesthetic. I was 42 at the time. I had some bleeding and they wanted to make sure things were OK. Turns out it was nothing (fissure and hemorhoids(sp?)). SO....if the anesthetic is worrying you, you could skip it. It absolutely did NOT(!!!!!) hurt at all...nothing...not even a twinge or a pinch...nada, zip, zilch, zero pain. Less discomfort or embarassment than a pap (in my humble opinion).
I have to say, you expressed yourself almost exactly the way I think when a doctor tells me something....I too have to reassure myself that "it is routine" and not specific to me. I guess it finally hit me when I reminded my gyn about something she had said the year before and she TOTALLY FORGOT....so there you go....we are not special to them. They tell us stuff to cover their basis and to provide us with good info to keep us healthy...but they don't know anything in advance about how our tests will turn out. They can't make us have something simply by telling us to test for it! It was a huge lightbulb moment for me.
I wish you luck. There is no rhyme or reason why these feelings hit us...but let it ride. Go with the feelings and don't punish yourself for having them. When you're ready, you will make the appointment.
pat52
03-26-2005, 01:19 AM
I had the procedure done last June at age 50. I too was a nervous wreck. I was crying when I went into the hospital -so upset. The nurse looked at me and knew I was about to back out-she talked to me and the doctor prescribed Xanax prior to the procedure which helped alot. I was scared because I have MVP and high blood pressure. I had blood in the hemocult test done at the doctors office twice in 2 years. She kept trying to talk me into getting it done -I kept putting it off until I had a very bad case of anemia. Turned out-I had two pre-cancerous polyps removed from my colon. Now Im glad I got it done. Not looking forward to having it done again but like everyone says-its the nasty stuff you have to drink-thats worse than the procedure. I dont even remember leaving the hospital! When you decide to get it done-I had two small bottles of stuff to mix with a liquid-someone at work told me they used Gatorade or 7-up. I used 7-up and it was the most nasty tasting thing I ever drank so I dont recommend mixing it with that-just thinking about it I can taste it-lol GOOD LUCK and my prayers are with you.
rmc12
03-28-2005, 01:17 PM
Hi Molly,
Thank you for your 2nd post.
Yes, the peri stuff sure does "affect us emotionally and physically" and I think they both go hand and hand. I think I just was so unprepared that I was going to have a reoccurrrence of all that I had for a few months last year. And so it took me aback and I got freaked out about it and obsessing about everything. I am doing better today and hope it continues.
My weekend was a struggle on and off, some days or hours even , better than others. We had relatives visiting and I got thru it, all the preparations, etc, (which I enjoy but with feeling exhausted from peri anxiety, some of which I know is my own doing, it was hard). I did take xanax this weekend to get thru (half dosages of an already low dose anyway). Also am taking Motrin (Ibupofren) for my aches and that seems to help. So need to do that more regularly.
You are right about the gas and other intestinal stuff. I didn't have anything this weekend or in the past few months that is anything unusual. And from reading these boards I know a LOT of women deal with the gas or going to the bathroom more often. The book the Pause is one I own and you'd think I would have read that one page on this symptom over and over and got that thru my head. But when anxiety takes over us it is really hard.
As far as this particular exam, I know it is a good idea to be done over 50, but I am so stressed right now I'd rather just not think of it. One of the relatives that was visiting this weekend (my husband's aunt ) is 80 and has never had it. Very few people in my own family, way older than me have so I figure I am not going to obsess about it (at least that is my feeling now and hope I can keep that feeling). I certainly keep current with all my exams and know it is one I will have but like you said sometimes we are just so stressed we have to just do things when we are ready. i don't (at least hope not) think I am harming myself by not doing it right away as it is something that we are told to do 50 or over and so it is not like I am far off that mark.
I am trying to work on my anxiety issues right now and so part of me says to get it done and over with but I am so stressed that it is just something that I would rather not get into right now.
My symptoms of peri right now are mainly the anxiety and fatique and now and then some gastro things but nothing unusual and nothing that I have not dealt with way before this. The anxiety and fatique are the biggest things. I think the fatigue is partly due to the anxiety as it is draining !!
I did toy this weekend with taking low dose birth controls (i have samples from last year my doctor gave me), but decided against it (I would have had to start Sunday). I am worried about the risks of breast cancer and also introducing other symptoms just from taking them that may not agree with me right now. if I have another month as I have had, I may change my mind and take them. I can always stop if they do not "agree" with me.
I do also think my muscular/skeletal issues do not help matters. A lot of the pelvic hip thing for me which is all very near our abdominals does as the gyn and dr. said affect that whole area as it makes muscles tense. I have a massage coming up on Thursday and I think that will be helpful. It is all on my right side of the body, shoulder at times waist muscles, etc. or joints and them the hip/buttocks area. So it may be a nerve too that is the problem but there is definitely a degeneration there that can't help that whole area for sure. I never had these issues until my back went out a few years ago. I have not tried the FLexAll that you mentioned by the way.
My gyn said once that peri is a long PMS for many and I think I am one of those people. I got my period at day 27 last Mon and it feels like I am in a somwhat pre period state again this week , but again I know that others have commented on this too that they always feel like it is coming even when it is not.
Thanks again Molly, for listening to very anxious me!! I had some rough spots on the weekend but got thru them and seem to be doing a bit better. Hope it continues.
Hope your weekend went well and thanks for all your help always.
rmc
Thank you for your 2nd post.
Yes, the peri stuff sure does "affect us emotionally and physically" and I think they both go hand and hand. I think I just was so unprepared that I was going to have a reoccurrrence of all that I had for a few months last year. And so it took me aback and I got freaked out about it and obsessing about everything. I am doing better today and hope it continues.
My weekend was a struggle on and off, some days or hours even , better than others. We had relatives visiting and I got thru it, all the preparations, etc, (which I enjoy but with feeling exhausted from peri anxiety, some of which I know is my own doing, it was hard). I did take xanax this weekend to get thru (half dosages of an already low dose anyway). Also am taking Motrin (Ibupofren) for my aches and that seems to help. So need to do that more regularly.
You are right about the gas and other intestinal stuff. I didn't have anything this weekend or in the past few months that is anything unusual. And from reading these boards I know a LOT of women deal with the gas or going to the bathroom more often. The book the Pause is one I own and you'd think I would have read that one page on this symptom over and over and got that thru my head. But when anxiety takes over us it is really hard.
As far as this particular exam, I know it is a good idea to be done over 50, but I am so stressed right now I'd rather just not think of it. One of the relatives that was visiting this weekend (my husband's aunt ) is 80 and has never had it. Very few people in my own family, way older than me have so I figure I am not going to obsess about it (at least that is my feeling now and hope I can keep that feeling). I certainly keep current with all my exams and know it is one I will have but like you said sometimes we are just so stressed we have to just do things when we are ready. i don't (at least hope not) think I am harming myself by not doing it right away as it is something that we are told to do 50 or over and so it is not like I am far off that mark.
I am trying to work on my anxiety issues right now and so part of me says to get it done and over with but I am so stressed that it is just something that I would rather not get into right now.
My symptoms of peri right now are mainly the anxiety and fatique and now and then some gastro things but nothing unusual and nothing that I have not dealt with way before this. The anxiety and fatique are the biggest things. I think the fatigue is partly due to the anxiety as it is draining !!
I did toy this weekend with taking low dose birth controls (i have samples from last year my doctor gave me), but decided against it (I would have had to start Sunday). I am worried about the risks of breast cancer and also introducing other symptoms just from taking them that may not agree with me right now. if I have another month as I have had, I may change my mind and take them. I can always stop if they do not "agree" with me.
I do also think my muscular/skeletal issues do not help matters. A lot of the pelvic hip thing for me which is all very near our abdominals does as the gyn and dr. said affect that whole area as it makes muscles tense. I have a massage coming up on Thursday and I think that will be helpful. It is all on my right side of the body, shoulder at times waist muscles, etc. or joints and them the hip/buttocks area. So it may be a nerve too that is the problem but there is definitely a degeneration there that can't help that whole area for sure. I never had these issues until my back went out a few years ago. I have not tried the FLexAll that you mentioned by the way.
My gyn said once that peri is a long PMS for many and I think I am one of those people. I got my period at day 27 last Mon and it feels like I am in a somwhat pre period state again this week , but again I know that others have commented on this too that they always feel like it is coming even when it is not.
Thanks again Molly, for listening to very anxious me!! I had some rough spots on the weekend but got thru them and seem to be doing a bit better. Hope it continues.
Hope your weekend went well and thanks for all your help always.
rmc
rmc12
03-28-2005, 01:22 PM
DWP,
Thanks so much for your response. It is helpful to hear from someone who has had it. I just am so nervous about everything right now that I do not know when I will have it but know I will at some point. I know they say when we are 50 and over we should do it and I am soon to be 51 as I said.
I agree with you that when one does get it done it is best to do so in the morning.
Thanks for telling me you are "the most paranoid, health anxiety person in the world right now"...makes me realize again that we all are dealing with this anxiousness. It is the worst thing of this whole peri thing for me and I thought this time would just be hot flashes and that was it!! Not to minimize those at all but would rather have one than the anxiety!!
Thanks again,
rmc
Thanks so much for your response. It is helpful to hear from someone who has had it. I just am so nervous about everything right now that I do not know when I will have it but know I will at some point. I know they say when we are 50 and over we should do it and I am soon to be 51 as I said.
I agree with you that when one does get it done it is best to do so in the morning.
Thanks for telling me you are "the most paranoid, health anxiety person in the world right now"...makes me realize again that we all are dealing with this anxiousness. It is the worst thing of this whole peri thing for me and I thought this time would just be hot flashes and that was it!! Not to minimize those at all but would rather have one than the anxiety!!
Thanks again,
rmc
rmc12
03-28-2005, 01:29 PM
Hi Newbie,
Thanks for your input. As I said in a previous post it is good to hear from others that have gone thru it and when I do have it I will remember what you said. i have been told too the prep is the worst part of it. I know it sounds so silly to fret over something that I do not have to do immediately for any thing other than routine.
I go back and forth on it and i am sure still will...just get it over on the one hand ,on the other, just wait for another time when I am not so stressed. I know I will be stressed when I go no matter when that is for sure. But my anxiety is so high right now it is just hard to focus.
Thanks again!!
rmc
Thanks for your input. As I said in a previous post it is good to hear from others that have gone thru it and when I do have it I will remember what you said. i have been told too the prep is the worst part of it. I know it sounds so silly to fret over something that I do not have to do immediately for any thing other than routine.
I go back and forth on it and i am sure still will...just get it over on the one hand ,on the other, just wait for another time when I am not so stressed. I know I will be stressed when I go no matter when that is for sure. But my anxiety is so high right now it is just hard to focus.
Thanks again!!
rmc
rmc12
03-28-2005, 01:36 PM
Hello Kittenlover,
Yes, I know what you mean. After what we are frettting over is done, it does seems so silly but while we are fretting we can't help ourselves. and I hate that!! LOL!!
As I said I, too know people way older than 50 or 51 that have not had it and do not even stress over it. So wish I could be more like that. I do think it is good to go as it is preventative but guess I am so stressed right now I cannot think straight about it and it just added to my already stressed out self.
Thanks so much for telling me your experience. You are right that one of the worries is what they will find and that is why I feel it is dumb of me to delay it but it is not like I have delayed it by much so far. I am just not wanting to focus on one thing like that right now with the way my stress is at the moment.
And thanks for saying that I shouldn't punish myself for having anxiety . It is so hard for me to deal with the fact that I am now a basketcase that I do think I am losing it at times. I need to reread the boards and see that many of us , a LOT of us are in the same situation.
Thanks for your calming words,
rmc
Yes, I know what you mean. After what we are frettting over is done, it does seems so silly but while we are fretting we can't help ourselves. and I hate that!! LOL!!
As I said I, too know people way older than 50 or 51 that have not had it and do not even stress over it. So wish I could be more like that. I do think it is good to go as it is preventative but guess I am so stressed right now I cannot think straight about it and it just added to my already stressed out self.
Thanks so much for telling me your experience. You are right that one of the worries is what they will find and that is why I feel it is dumb of me to delay it but it is not like I have delayed it by much so far. I am just not wanting to focus on one thing like that right now with the way my stress is at the moment.
And thanks for saying that I shouldn't punish myself for having anxiety . It is so hard for me to deal with the fact that I am now a basketcase that I do think I am losing it at times. I need to reread the boards and see that many of us , a LOT of us are in the same situation.
Thanks for your calming words,
rmc
rmc12
03-28-2005, 01:42 PM
Pat52,
Thanks for your post and for sharing your experience. You sound like me as I will surely be a nervous wreck when I do get it done as I am one just simply thinking of it as you know!!
It is interesting about the Xanax, taking it beforehand as I was thinking of that too and whether they'd let you. I know when I had two teeth pulled I was given a valium beforehand. That procedure was a piece of cake and I fretted over that one big time!! That seems miniscule by comparison to this one.
I have a friend also who they found 2 precancerous polyps so I know that the exam makes good sense and it was good you got it done due to the bleeding they found, it is just a matter of doing it and I know I must sound so stupid to not want to do it right now due to anxiety issues over it. I guess as it is a routine thing I feel that I do not have to rush it but I know I will at some point.
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
rmc
Thanks for your post and for sharing your experience. You sound like me as I will surely be a nervous wreck when I do get it done as I am one just simply thinking of it as you know!!
It is interesting about the Xanax, taking it beforehand as I was thinking of that too and whether they'd let you. I know when I had two teeth pulled I was given a valium beforehand. That procedure was a piece of cake and I fretted over that one big time!! That seems miniscule by comparison to this one.
I have a friend also who they found 2 precancerous polyps so I know that the exam makes good sense and it was good you got it done due to the bleeding they found, it is just a matter of doing it and I know I must sound so stupid to not want to do it right now due to anxiety issues over it. I guess as it is a routine thing I feel that I do not have to rush it but I know I will at some point.
Thanks so much for your thoughts.
rmc
dwp512
03-28-2005, 01:48 PM
Rmc,
I thought I might be about to get a break, but I am a mess again. i've had all kinds of tests, and i still can't get Parkinsons out of my head. I am sleeping 10 hours at night...with aide, and I still can't get up in the morning. I am so sick of myself...then I freakout because i'm such a mess. I can't stand the weakness and shaking!. Any ideas?
DWP
I thought I might be about to get a break, but I am a mess again. i've had all kinds of tests, and i still can't get Parkinsons out of my head. I am sleeping 10 hours at night...with aide, and I still can't get up in the morning. I am so sick of myself...then I freakout because i'm such a mess. I can't stand the weakness and shaking!. Any ideas?
DWP
rmc12
03-28-2005, 03:31 PM
Dwp,
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling a mess...and believe me I can relate!! I think of all us , for sometimes similar reasons and symptoms and sometimes different symptoms have been there.
The thing I think to focus on is that you have gone thru all the tests for your symptoms and it is all fine. I forget how old you said you were but I know by posting on the board you are in perimenopause and the muscle twitches that you are talkng about I know that others on here have mentioned. quite a few people talk about "internal shakes" and I have only had that one time (last month) and it was very scary to me , so I know it must be very hard to deal with. I get where my legs are very restless at times or I feel like I should have a couple blankets on when I am feeling shaky. I think anxiety is a real cause of it and it is not any wonder that we all are with all the symptoms that we have on and off. Someone in one of the posts said that no sooner do we get used to one symptom , another crops up and it causes us to be anxious again.
I wish I could give you concrete advice on how to alleivate the weakness and shaking. I think re-reading some posts on this subject (doing a seach) will help to be calming. Also the fact that you wake up still tired in the morning I can totally relate to. One or another person on here has referred to this peri tiredness as "crashing fatique" and it really to me fits the description. I know it does not solve things to know others are going thru it but hopefully it will help you to know you are not alone and others are feeling as you do or have been.
I am finding myself so exhausted lately and I know part of it is the anxiety that has taken over for awhile. I am just trying to relax and calm myself by talking and taking deep breaths when i feel more anxious.
Be good to yourself and if you feel like just resting do so.
Hope you are feeling better and keep posting and reading too.
rmc
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling a mess...and believe me I can relate!! I think of all us , for sometimes similar reasons and symptoms and sometimes different symptoms have been there.
The thing I think to focus on is that you have gone thru all the tests for your symptoms and it is all fine. I forget how old you said you were but I know by posting on the board you are in perimenopause and the muscle twitches that you are talkng about I know that others on here have mentioned. quite a few people talk about "internal shakes" and I have only had that one time (last month) and it was very scary to me , so I know it must be very hard to deal with. I get where my legs are very restless at times or I feel like I should have a couple blankets on when I am feeling shaky. I think anxiety is a real cause of it and it is not any wonder that we all are with all the symptoms that we have on and off. Someone in one of the posts said that no sooner do we get used to one symptom , another crops up and it causes us to be anxious again.
I wish I could give you concrete advice on how to alleivate the weakness and shaking. I think re-reading some posts on this subject (doing a seach) will help to be calming. Also the fact that you wake up still tired in the morning I can totally relate to. One or another person on here has referred to this peri tiredness as "crashing fatique" and it really to me fits the description. I know it does not solve things to know others are going thru it but hopefully it will help you to know you are not alone and others are feeling as you do or have been.
I am finding myself so exhausted lately and I know part of it is the anxiety that has taken over for awhile. I am just trying to relax and calm myself by talking and taking deep breaths when i feel more anxious.
Be good to yourself and if you feel like just resting do so.
Hope you are feeling better and keep posting and reading too.
rmc
wmkcolors
03-29-2005, 04:53 AM
I have had four colonoscopies in 5 years. When I was 36, I had blood in my stools. The doctor found a precancerous polyp, but, fortunately, the cancer was caught early, though I immediately went into early menopause, because of the pelvic radiation. The menopause has been difficult, to say the least. Please do not be afraid of this test. First, the prep is the hardest part. Schedule your test, so you'll be the first or second one the doctor does that day. You might have schedule the test 2 months in advance, because, the early appt.s fill up fast. By doing it early in the morning, you don't have to be dehydrated any longer than is necessary. Being put out goes by quickly. You are given a mild sedative through your IV, before being put out, which really calms you. The test is over in 20 minutes. The doctor comes in and talks to you a few minutes later. You're tired and thirsty afterwards but plan ahead and have everything you might need at home, like soup or any favorite beverages. THE TEST IS NOT THAT BAD!!!! Just think, your anxiety is causing you more pain than actually having the test and getting it over with. And, if you are not having any symptoms, they probably won't find anything. Colon cancer is so preventable. I was unlucky, because I was so young. Even some doctors downplayed my symptoms. Like I said, the early menopause has been hard, but I was fortuante because my cancer was caught early. I believe people should get this test at 40, for the first time, and not 50. When I was being treated, I met a girl, who was 23, and had colon cancer. All the best....
rmc12
03-29-2005, 05:19 PM
Thanks wmkcolors for your post,
Sorry to hear what you went thru but glad that it worked out well and was caught as you said and that you are doing good. I have a friend also who has this in his family and he had his first at 50 actually and they found 2 pre cancerous polyps. A friend I have got it also due to it being in her family and also the bleeding you had too, and , they found 3 polyps but they were fine but she then was to go 5 years later but just went this year (2 years over the 5 years) and they found one but nothing that was of concern.
There is no question it is good to do and the earmark seems to be over 50 with insurance and I did find out that it is not fully covered until mid 50s for a lot of people's insurance , including mine it seems. The person at the clinic I would go to said this is common and a lot of people come in at that age due to that. I am a bit calmer knowing that and since I do not have any of the symptoms that she did ask me on the phone. So that helped.
Perimenopause as you know can give one such anxiety over everything , even when it is routine as this is and I have such a hard time with the anxiety (as you could read from my post!!)
Thanks for your input and when I do go for the test, I know I will re read your note over again and it will help me.
rmc
Sorry to hear what you went thru but glad that it worked out well and was caught as you said and that you are doing good. I have a friend also who has this in his family and he had his first at 50 actually and they found 2 pre cancerous polyps. A friend I have got it also due to it being in her family and also the bleeding you had too, and , they found 3 polyps but they were fine but she then was to go 5 years later but just went this year (2 years over the 5 years) and they found one but nothing that was of concern.
There is no question it is good to do and the earmark seems to be over 50 with insurance and I did find out that it is not fully covered until mid 50s for a lot of people's insurance , including mine it seems. The person at the clinic I would go to said this is common and a lot of people come in at that age due to that. I am a bit calmer knowing that and since I do not have any of the symptoms that she did ask me on the phone. So that helped.
Perimenopause as you know can give one such anxiety over everything , even when it is routine as this is and I have such a hard time with the anxiety (as you could read from my post!!)
Thanks for your input and when I do go for the test, I know I will re read your note over again and it will help me.
rmc
JudeNZ
03-30-2005, 03:02 AM
Dear rmc you poor old darling- wanted to give you a hug when I read this.
I have become so fearful over my health, and never been like this in my life until the last couple of years. I am better than I was, but I fully understand where you're coming from.
I hate going to the dentist, and get myself in a real state, and tell myself I'm a daft old duck and it is only the dentist! I felt a sudden panic when the optometrist told me he'd do tests and they'd let me know if there was a problem. I would not have even given it a second thought before. Then I rang about my iron count while I was away on holiday a few weeks ago, and got told Dr needed to see me, so spent next 8 days worrying. Was all fine when I went.
I totally agree with Molly about waiting till you feel you can cope with the colonoscopy - and you will. I was thinking about having a mammogram done at 49, and was just like you. Convinced myself it'd be bad and what would I do if the result came back bad, and this... and that... and.......... so did just what Molly said. I waited till I was 50, I still felt anxious, but not in a state as I had been, and it came back clear.
I'm due for a cervical smear and have to force myself to have them annually. My Mum had cervical cancer, so is always a cause of anxierty for me, which is why I have them done annually.
I asked my Dr about a colonoscopy, and she says don't worry yet, and I'm 51. I was having major iron problems ( still do) 15 mths ago, and had to have faeces tests done. I was in such a state as suddenly realised she was discounting bleeding from the bowel and cancer - I could harldy function till results came back clear.
So see you're not the only panic pants lol I do laugh at myself, but hate being like this. I think we have so many things go wrong we get anxious. I like to think it'll pass and we'll be great when it is all over.
Hugs
Jude
I have become so fearful over my health, and never been like this in my life until the last couple of years. I am better than I was, but I fully understand where you're coming from.
I hate going to the dentist, and get myself in a real state, and tell myself I'm a daft old duck and it is only the dentist! I felt a sudden panic when the optometrist told me he'd do tests and they'd let me know if there was a problem. I would not have even given it a second thought before. Then I rang about my iron count while I was away on holiday a few weeks ago, and got told Dr needed to see me, so spent next 8 days worrying. Was all fine when I went.
I totally agree with Molly about waiting till you feel you can cope with the colonoscopy - and you will. I was thinking about having a mammogram done at 49, and was just like you. Convinced myself it'd be bad and what would I do if the result came back bad, and this... and that... and.......... so did just what Molly said. I waited till I was 50, I still felt anxious, but not in a state as I had been, and it came back clear.
I'm due for a cervical smear and have to force myself to have them annually. My Mum had cervical cancer, so is always a cause of anxierty for me, which is why I have them done annually.
I asked my Dr about a colonoscopy, and she says don't worry yet, and I'm 51. I was having major iron problems ( still do) 15 mths ago, and had to have faeces tests done. I was in such a state as suddenly realised she was discounting bleeding from the bowel and cancer - I could harldy function till results came back clear.
So see you're not the only panic pants lol I do laugh at myself, but hate being like this. I think we have so many things go wrong we get anxious. I like to think it'll pass and we'll be great when it is all over.
Hugs
Jude
wmkcolors
03-30-2005, 03:15 AM
I'm at a loss as to why people here are so afraid to get a colonsopcopy? I've had five. I was diagnosed with colon cancer at an early age. I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid of the tests and all the poking and prodding. My mom died of cervical cancer. I never miss a pap test or a mammorgram. I went to one of the best hospitals in the country, and the doctors there told me the suggested age to get a first colonsocopy is 50, though I think it should be 40. Why is anyone waiting? For a symptom? Because then, that can be a sure sign of cancer..... Don't you want to prevent this disease? I was so young that doctors automatically assummed I had IBS or hemmoroids(sp?). Fortunately, my cancer was caught early. Please look at this test as a way to prevent cancer....as are annual pelvic exams and mammorgrams. Everyone is afraid of the test. Just go.... All the best....
rmc12
03-30-2005, 01:33 PM
Hi Jude,
Thanks for your post and hugs...I appreciate it.
Also appreciate knowing that others get in this peri anxiety state about everything they normally would not think twice about.
I found out this week that it is still not covered fully as I think I mentioned and I did talk to the person at the clinic and she said this was quite common and that is why a lot of people do come in , in their mid fifites as it is then not out of pocket and covered completely.
I understand your apprehension about the mammogram and other tests...and although we all know they are preventative and that is the point of having them , it all does cause a stress and when we are in peri I think we deal with it far worse. At least that is what I am finding. That you went at 50 for the mammogram and were not in the state you had been before with your anxiety says a lot and is hopeful to me as I am hoping this super anxiety phase does not last!!.
it is good to know I am not the only one that panics and I too hate being like that about everything it seems lately!!
Thanks so much for understanding and for your input,
rmc
Thanks for your post and hugs...I appreciate it.
Also appreciate knowing that others get in this peri anxiety state about everything they normally would not think twice about.
I found out this week that it is still not covered fully as I think I mentioned and I did talk to the person at the clinic and she said this was quite common and that is why a lot of people do come in , in their mid fifites as it is then not out of pocket and covered completely.
I understand your apprehension about the mammogram and other tests...and although we all know they are preventative and that is the point of having them , it all does cause a stress and when we are in peri I think we deal with it far worse. At least that is what I am finding. That you went at 50 for the mammogram and were not in the state you had been before with your anxiety says a lot and is hopeful to me as I am hoping this super anxiety phase does not last!!.
it is good to know I am not the only one that panics and I too hate being like that about everything it seems lately!!
Thanks so much for understanding and for your input,
rmc
rmc12
03-30-2005, 01:47 PM
wmkcolors,
Thanks again for your post and I am sure others appreciate it too, that are fearful of this exam or have not had it, and I think there are a lot of them.
As to why that is...really I am at a loss to explain that fully for myself and can't speak for others. I do go annually for all my other exams and have for my mammogram since age 40, even got a baseline at 35. Paps since I was I think 18. So it is not a usual thing for me to not go to something that is suggested at a certain age, although all those preventative exams were fully covered for me when I went. I am sure if I never had a mammogram or a Pap before this age, I would be in this state now due to my anxiety also...so not quite sure it is just this specific exam. If we are all supposed to go over 50 for a stress treadmill test (which actually some doctors do suggest some time in ones 50s ) I am sure I would be frettting over that. I know it makes no sense as the anxiety makes no sense and that is the frustration of this peri phase.
Insurance is a whole other matter and many ( I found this out at the clinic where I will go for the test when I go) do not cover it at all for some till mid 50s and some cover just a portion and the rest is "out of pocket" which is why it is common that people wait they said.
This exam as you said is like all the suggested annual exams that I do get and I know that and I am sure others do too that have not had this particular one, that are my age or even older. I will have the test and know no matter when I go, now or next year, etc. that I will be anxious or fearful about the process etc. and that is normal. I have that when I go for my mammogram and pap but not to this extent. The kind of anxiety I am experiencing now about everything (not just this exam) is something that feels totally unnormal to me and I am working on it as best I can.
I thank you so much for your post and your thoughts,
rmc
Thanks again for your post and I am sure others appreciate it too, that are fearful of this exam or have not had it, and I think there are a lot of them.
As to why that is...really I am at a loss to explain that fully for myself and can't speak for others. I do go annually for all my other exams and have for my mammogram since age 40, even got a baseline at 35. Paps since I was I think 18. So it is not a usual thing for me to not go to something that is suggested at a certain age, although all those preventative exams were fully covered for me when I went. I am sure if I never had a mammogram or a Pap before this age, I would be in this state now due to my anxiety also...so not quite sure it is just this specific exam. If we are all supposed to go over 50 for a stress treadmill test (which actually some doctors do suggest some time in ones 50s ) I am sure I would be frettting over that. I know it makes no sense as the anxiety makes no sense and that is the frustration of this peri phase.
Insurance is a whole other matter and many ( I found this out at the clinic where I will go for the test when I go) do not cover it at all for some till mid 50s and some cover just a portion and the rest is "out of pocket" which is why it is common that people wait they said.
This exam as you said is like all the suggested annual exams that I do get and I know that and I am sure others do too that have not had this particular one, that are my age or even older. I will have the test and know no matter when I go, now or next year, etc. that I will be anxious or fearful about the process etc. and that is normal. I have that when I go for my mammogram and pap but not to this extent. The kind of anxiety I am experiencing now about everything (not just this exam) is something that feels totally unnormal to me and I am working on it as best I can.
I thank you so much for your post and your thoughts,
rmc
molly123
03-30-2005, 02:27 PM
Hi RMC,
How are you feeling these last couple of days? I know others have been posting that the colonoscopy is really not as bad as we think it is. I've heard the same thing and I'm sure it's not. But, I think it's the fear of the unknown that gets to most of us.
Since your insurance isn't covering it all right now and since we are paying a lot for insurance these days, it seems that if we can avoid haivng to dish out 'out-of-pocket' expenses, we should do so. Don't know about you but my insurance went up quite a bit the year I turned 50. If you were having some symptoms or bleeding, I would then tell you to get it done right away even if the insurance doesn't cover it all. But, if you're not and it's just a matter of a couple of months or years when your insurance will cover it all, get it done then. Then go on with your life and don't think aboutit anymore! Remember, most drs. recommend it at age 50 so a baseline can be established - it's not really b/c the dr. suspect you have something.
I think you should with your anxiety and fatigue first. Your physical and emotion state has to be more stable first. Those are the exact symptoms I had also. Penny also is experiencing fatigue right now - something she didn't before....could it be a peri-symptom that we go through before we start feeling better? I often have said that it seems like we have to go thru our worse before we get better.
What do you feel like when you are having anxiety? The reason why I ask is that if you feel this internal shakiness or nervous like inside - it can be those internal shakes that I've experienced because in a way it could feel like anxiety but it really isn't. Do you feel better right after taking the Xanax? You might want to take it on a regular basis for a week or two to see if you feel a little more stablized and then wean yourself off of it slowly and see if it comes back. Are you sleeping oK?
Try and relax,
molly
How are you feeling these last couple of days? I know others have been posting that the colonoscopy is really not as bad as we think it is. I've heard the same thing and I'm sure it's not. But, I think it's the fear of the unknown that gets to most of us.
Since your insurance isn't covering it all right now and since we are paying a lot for insurance these days, it seems that if we can avoid haivng to dish out 'out-of-pocket' expenses, we should do so. Don't know about you but my insurance went up quite a bit the year I turned 50. If you were having some symptoms or bleeding, I would then tell you to get it done right away even if the insurance doesn't cover it all. But, if you're not and it's just a matter of a couple of months or years when your insurance will cover it all, get it done then. Then go on with your life and don't think aboutit anymore! Remember, most drs. recommend it at age 50 so a baseline can be established - it's not really b/c the dr. suspect you have something.
I think you should with your anxiety and fatigue first. Your physical and emotion state has to be more stable first. Those are the exact symptoms I had also. Penny also is experiencing fatigue right now - something she didn't before....could it be a peri-symptom that we go through before we start feeling better? I often have said that it seems like we have to go thru our worse before we get better.
What do you feel like when you are having anxiety? The reason why I ask is that if you feel this internal shakiness or nervous like inside - it can be those internal shakes that I've experienced because in a way it could feel like anxiety but it really isn't. Do you feel better right after taking the Xanax? You might want to take it on a regular basis for a week or two to see if you feel a little more stablized and then wean yourself off of it slowly and see if it comes back. Are you sleeping oK?
Try and relax,
molly
JudeNZ
03-30-2005, 05:55 PM
WMK colors - I understand you are coming from a base of having had something go wrong and wanting others to avoid it. However anxiety is a biggie for many of us. Don't underestimate it's power to control our lives at times. It is a constant battle to push it away and take control ourselves.
Of course we want to prevent disease, which is why if you read again, we say we have regular smear/pap tests and mammograms. Here in New Zealand 50 is when your first mammogram is scheduled. Colonoscopies are mainly if it is in the family, or have had problems. Is not a routine thing yearly for everyone. Why do I have an annual smear/pap done? Because my Mum had cervical cancer in her 50's, and I know it is the best thing to do.
What you seem to have missed along the way is that anxiety is also an illness of it's own, and needs dealing with and treating. What seems like growling at rmc and others like her (me) can make us feel even more stupid and hopeless cases. We usually know we are being irrational, but so much has been going wrong we develop a fear of ...what next. Also a 'first' is difficult. Once in the system you somehow feel calmer about having things done. rmc needs to be congratulated for what she has done, not spoken to for what she hasn't. I agree with Molly, and stand by my comments, wait till you feel better. You have no signs of anything, you feel well, and if it is another 6 mths then wait. If you had symptoms I'd be twisting your arm till you went. You will have it done I know. Because at the end of the day, you're an intelligent woman who does look after herself and knows it is what is needed to be done.
I did note wmk colors, you stated [QUOTE=wmkcolors]I'm at a loss as to why people here are so afraid to get a colonsopcopy? I've had five. I was diagnosed with colon cancer at an early age. I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid of the tests and all the poking and prodding. (QUOTE - wmkcolors)
So you were also afraid before having one done. Now you've done it, you know there is nothing to fear from the actual procedure. All credit to you for continuing with regular checks and now being well. rmc will be the same, and I for one am grateful for having crossed your path, as you have helped me realise I am okay. What I feel is normal for many women our age, and Molly has helped me realise it will pass. We're 50 (ish lol) and fantastic.
Jude
Of course we want to prevent disease, which is why if you read again, we say we have regular smear/pap tests and mammograms. Here in New Zealand 50 is when your first mammogram is scheduled. Colonoscopies are mainly if it is in the family, or have had problems. Is not a routine thing yearly for everyone. Why do I have an annual smear/pap done? Because my Mum had cervical cancer in her 50's, and I know it is the best thing to do.
What you seem to have missed along the way is that anxiety is also an illness of it's own, and needs dealing with and treating. What seems like growling at rmc and others like her (me) can make us feel even more stupid and hopeless cases. We usually know we are being irrational, but so much has been going wrong we develop a fear of ...what next. Also a 'first' is difficult. Once in the system you somehow feel calmer about having things done. rmc needs to be congratulated for what she has done, not spoken to for what she hasn't. I agree with Molly, and stand by my comments, wait till you feel better. You have no signs of anything, you feel well, and if it is another 6 mths then wait. If you had symptoms I'd be twisting your arm till you went. You will have it done I know. Because at the end of the day, you're an intelligent woman who does look after herself and knows it is what is needed to be done.
I did note wmk colors, you stated [QUOTE=wmkcolors]I'm at a loss as to why people here are so afraid to get a colonsopcopy? I've had five. I was diagnosed with colon cancer at an early age. I was a nervous wreck. I was afraid of the tests and all the poking and prodding. (QUOTE - wmkcolors)
So you were also afraid before having one done. Now you've done it, you know there is nothing to fear from the actual procedure. All credit to you for continuing with regular checks and now being well. rmc will be the same, and I for one am grateful for having crossed your path, as you have helped me realise I am okay. What I feel is normal for many women our age, and Molly has helped me realise it will pass. We're 50 (ish lol) and fantastic.
Jude
mgraylorn
03-30-2005, 06:00 PM
I am torn here.
I don't want to add to anyone's anxiety, but I don't think its right to give the impression that everyone will have an easy time with a colonoscopy. I had 2 in the early 90s and found them quite painful. Whatever pain drugs they used then on me did not work. I have not had one since because of my experiences. I had the procedures from a highly respected gastroenterologist at a big name university medical facility, so it wasn't some quack in a budget medical center.
I suspect that I had some strange reaction to the drugs which made me hypersensitive instead of the normal sedative reaction. There is a very small minority of people who react this way. Incidently, I have had atypical reactions to other drugs as well, so this is a pattern with me.
The odds favor you being normal, and the drugs used 15 years later being better. But not everyone finds it a piece of cake.
I don't want to add to anyone's anxiety, but I don't think its right to give the impression that everyone will have an easy time with a colonoscopy. I had 2 in the early 90s and found them quite painful. Whatever pain drugs they used then on me did not work. I have not had one since because of my experiences. I had the procedures from a highly respected gastroenterologist at a big name university medical facility, so it wasn't some quack in a budget medical center.
I suspect that I had some strange reaction to the drugs which made me hypersensitive instead of the normal sedative reaction. There is a very small minority of people who react this way. Incidently, I have had atypical reactions to other drugs as well, so this is a pattern with me.
The odds favor you being normal, and the drugs used 15 years later being better. But not everyone finds it a piece of cake.
molly123
03-30-2005, 06:55 PM
Mgraylorn and Jude, I agree with your posts. Each person is different and each of us will respond differently to tests/meds. I find it extremely painful when I get a pap - often I bleed. I find it rather invasive - I'm just not too keen on the whole idea - maybe it's b/c I never had kids. My sister thinks nothing of it. She doesn't understand why I hate going. I used to be scared to go the dentist too but once I got going, I can handle anything there now - from having my teeth drilled to getting shots on the roof of my mouth. Hey, also one of the most intriguing experience I had was having my eyeballs poked with a dental floss! How's that for pain? LOL!
It is normal for everyone to be scared esp. the first time and each experience doesn't necessarily mean it'll be the same as someone else's. In fact, I find it rather abnormal if you're not a little bit nervous or scared the first time. Anyay, I guess there's no definite answer to anything - all we can do tell is each other about our experiences and hope for the best.
Take care,
molly
It is normal for everyone to be scared esp. the first time and each experience doesn't necessarily mean it'll be the same as someone else's. In fact, I find it rather abnormal if you're not a little bit nervous or scared the first time. Anyay, I guess there's no definite answer to anything - all we can do tell is each other about our experiences and hope for the best.
Take care,
molly
wmkcolors
03-30-2005, 08:27 PM
All these posts have been helpful, knowing you're not alone in this world. I guess my main concern, having had colon cancer and 5 colonoscopies, is that, when I was being treated and met others, dealing with colon cancer, is that often, there are no sypmtoms. This is such a preventable disease, when people get tested. I understand too much the degree of anxiety about all these tests. Every colonoscopy that I've had is like a mountain to climb, because they once did find cancer, and I'm scared everytime, and, because, my mom recently died of cancer. When I hear people putting off tests because of anxiety or even because of insurance guidelines, I feel a responsibility to pass on what I've learned. I just don't want anyone to go through what I went through. Everyone was suprised about my diagnosis, but I was educated quickly about cancer. Now,since I've been in menopause early and have had pelvic radiation, I'm always anxious about uterine cancer and osteoporosis. The stress has been debilitating. I'm sad to hear that other countries don't have guidelines, suggesting having this test sooner. I met so many people who were diagnosed in their 30s and 40s that I think the baseline should be at 40. This isn't about be overly anxious. It's about realizing colorectal cancer is a very preventable disease. My heart goes out to all of you...