Hello All,
I used to post awhile ago (like five months) back when I was taking like 40 mg. of Oxy's a day chewed. Now I'm up to a 100. I hate it. I cry every night becuase I no longer have control over my life. I don't even enjoy the high anymore I just take it so I can stabilize myself. I dont know what to do. I have contemplated going to to a doctor and asking about Suboxone or dropping to Hydrocondones. I dont know I am so confused I know so little about both. I hate myslf I hate my life,I live every day in fear that the people I care about is going to find out. I want out so bad...any words of wisdom or advice would be SO apperciated. Is it possible to kick the habit? Because I'm beginning to think death might be better than living this life.

YES it is possible to kick oxycontin.....
You have a few options....
Taper down with the vicodins, you will still feel some minor w/d, but nothing compared to cold turkey off of the oxy!
You could go to rehab, sometimes a break from work, family, friends etc, is just what a person needs to get the proper medical attention needed. They also will teach you the tools you need to go on in life w/out always self-medicating.....
Suboxone or methoadone.....many have used these two substances to get some clean-time in and re-learn how to live life w/out drugs....Minimal cravings, balances the brain out etc....
I am glad you found your way here. There are many of us here that have or are still battling oxy....i am one of them. I havent touched oxy in well over a year now, but i still battle for my life every day. It is a daily struggle that will get easier with time.
You have made the first step, admitting you have a problem....
Are you close to your doctor??? It would be helpful to seek some medical advice, there are many meds they can give you to make you more comfortable while detoxing at home. And it is a good idea to be monitored.
You can't go at this alone....that is one important thing i have learned about this disease we have.....you need support and love right now....
NA and AA are great ways to seek support as well. It has literally saved my life a couple of times now. The people in the rooms are very welcoming and will go out of their way to help you achieve your goal of sobriety.
Please, please, please, consider these options. those dam pills have a way of turning on you, i know. At the beginning, they make you feel oh-so-good, and then you find you are taking them by the handfuls just to get out of bed in the morning...... i know i have been there, done that a time or two.
This board is full of really caring people. You have found a wonderful support network right here! Stick around and ask some more questins, read some posts... I look forward to talking to you more....
hang in there, we have all been where you are....
you are not alone....
luv,
LISA

Hello, ScaredHelpless...

It is good to see --- you are at the point of deceiding to do something about your Habit.! Congraulations, for that.! Just don't let this desire disappear back into the euphoria, or "just getting stable" feelings that the Oxys give you. Cause it will only bring you further down the abyss. Act Now.!!!

Although I have chronic nerve pain, from a failed Spinal Fusion, I have had some problems keeping my Medications at the proper level. Because of my past lifestyle, I "way too easily" can justify my going OVER that proper level, and just plain ole wanting to get High.! It is something I have to continuosly work on...

Anyway,--- a while back, I was at the point of doing daily 80-140 mgs. of Oxy, with some Dilaudid (sp.), and also wearing a 75mgh Fentanol Patch, and "abusing them" in other ways that I don't want to print here.! I was soo High ALL THE TIME, -- that I "thought" no one noticed.! But when you are on that kind of amount, as you are also --- they do.!!! I wouldn't be surprised if "some" of your Family members know about your addiction, or at least "suspect" there is something "wrong" going on with you.! --- When I finally came to my senses, after denying about it for soo long, I deceided to get help... My Family and I contacted one of my Doctors (The one who I was the most "comfortable" with) and he set me up for DETOX at a hospital where he sometimes worked from. I was REAL NERVOUS about it,--- but I knew it would be the only way I could stop the "craziness" of it all.! They weaned me down on Methadone, along with some other stuff (Blood-Pressure patch, phenobarbital for sleeping help, and some others I don't remember) at low amounts,-- but enough to at least keep you comfortable. And by the end of the 5th day, I was feeling "Okay" enough, that I checked myself out.! --- Probably should have stayed longer, but I did leave with a script for Meth, to continue my "wean-down". And I didn't abuse it! And I also had a "Lower Desire" to go back to the Oxys and Fent.!! The WHOLE expierence wasn't anywhere near as BAD as I thought it would be.! --- I guess I have watched "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" one too many times, ya know.? LOL.!!! But "Sleep Issues" still remained, and DEPRESSION was very strong.! Maybe I didn't learn "The Tools" that they offered,--- and so I relasped shortly there after... But Anyway, I would "highly" recommend it as a safe, supervised way of stopping the Oxys, without going thru too much discomfort.! And if you stay longer than I did,--- they will teach you some "skills and methods" to keep off them for good (?). --- The only "Down" side is the cost. ($$$). I am lucky enough to have my Work Insurance pay for it all...

Or as Lisa mentioned,--- alot of people seem to be going the "SUB" route now. It is a "stay-at-home kinda Detox.! There are both Pros and Cons about it though. (?). But it will keep your withdrawals to a minimum.! From that point on,--- "I think" it depends on how badly you want to keep off the Oxys, to keep yourself Clean. I hope others will Post here, and tell you more of their Personal Stories about it.!!!

Again,-- you are at the point where you "want and can" do something about this "Hold On You" that this powerful drug has on you.! --- To do NOTHING now, will only bring you further down towards the "Bottomless Pit".!!! And none of us really want to be there......

I wish you Well....

Kinda-unwell.

Hello All,
I used to post awhile ago (like five months) back when I was taking like 40 mg. of Oxy's a day chewed. Now I'm up to a 100. I hate it. I cry every night becuase I no longer have control over my life. I don't even enjoy the high anymore I just take it so I can stabilize myself. I dont know what to do. I have contemplated going to to a doctor and asking about Suboxone or dropping to Hydrocondones. I dont know I am so confused I know so little about both. I hate myslf I hate my life,I live every day in fear that the people I care about is going to find out. I want out so bad...any words of wisdom or advice would be SO apperciated. Is it possible to kick the habit? Because I'm beginning to think death might be better than living this life.

Don't ever think that you should end your life over this addiction.
YOU can get help and things CAN get better. PLEASE understand that.
If I were you, I would go to a doctor and find out what your options
are immediately. Do you have anyone that you can confide in? A good
friend or family member that will not tell anyone your problems?
YES it is possible to kick the habit. I did it. I got on Methadone and it
worked for 3 months then I relapsed and I am back on the Methadone.
Only take one a day but it keeps the cravings away.
I was taking over 20 hydros. a day.
Please understand that YOU CAN GET BETTER.
Hang in there please.
let us know how you are doing.

I remember feeling like i would rather be dead than continue the way i was and i saw no way out. The thing is that you just have to buck up and stop. I know it sounds really crazy and we all try to come up with every other option we can, doctors, sub, methadone, ect... and all that happens is we postpone what will have to be faced eventually. I remember coming up with all these illaborate plans to get off of it and when i finally did I just did.

I remember feeling like i would rather be dead than continue the way i was and i saw no way out. The thing is that you just have to buck up and stop. I know it sounds really crazy and we all try to come up with every other option we can, doctors, sub, methadone, ect... and all that happens is we postpone what will have to be faced eventually. I remember coming up with all these illaborate plans to get off of it and when i finally did I just did.


So, Jessy, you just stopped cold turkey??

Tell me, how was that?

No, I should have explained that better. I went to jail. But that was not the first time I had gone to jail and the other times i got out and did it again. I went to jail and had no choice but to go cold turkey off of 200mg of methadone. I had been in rehabs and tried meetings and clinics and thought about going the god/ church route ect... I looked for the thing that would help me. When really it was me the whole time. The last time i went away i finally just said enough is enough and started doing some serious soul searching. That time it was as simple as not forgetting the awful parts of my active addiction and saying I quit. What came along with that is the will to want to be a good person. Now it has been three years. I never thought i would not want to get high anymore. I just don't. That stuff robbed me of everything and for once i did not allow my brain to only remember the high and not that it robbed me of me. I was a mess.

Oh my goodness that must have been hell for you.
Cold Turkey off 200mg of methadone a day?How long did
it take for you to feel "normal"??

Wow it has been three years since you have used any drugs?
Awesome.
You must be a very strong person...

Cold turkye off 200 hurt like hell. It was a weird with drawl. It did not fully kick in for like three to four days and then it went on for like 30 days. It took a long time to get out of my body. When it finally did I was good for about a week and enjoyed the fact that i could sleep and did not have the body aches and then I crashed hard. I slept for like 22 hours a day for the next 6 or 7 weeks. I was in jail so i had the oppurtunity to do that there. Thank god i was there and could give my body what it so badly craved. I ate like a pig and slept. When I got out i seriously felt like i had been in a car accident and had to recover. I gained like 80 pounds by the end of treatment after jail and had to get back in the swing of things and get back to normal. I still felt weird 9 months clean but not bad at all just weird.

Thank you guys all so much, its amazing what just a few words from people who dont judge but understand can do. I wont lie I am coming off a binger this weekend- however the good news is I have found the name of a physcian who perscribes suboxone. Now I just have to find the courage to make the appointment. Thanks for the advice LisaH I have been "supplementing" if you will with Lortabs but its better than taking 100 mg. of synthetic herion. You are so right Jessie every night I go to bed and think of a new "plan" to get my life back. It's almost like you feel better by planning-like thats enough. Did you guys ever look at an ordinary person walking down the street or sitting at lunch and envy them, envy them simply because they weren't slaves to a substance. I miss my problems, I miss my emotional pain, I miss feeling....feeling anything but scared. I 'm lucky to Kindaunwell, I have really good work insurance but I am afraid to use it because I would die if they found out. Okay You guys have been so helpful. I have made a tiny step, makng an appointment on Monday will be the next one. I hope I can find the courage.!

Remember that to quit and be detoxed from this you have to be ready to quit for real.
I am an addicted i have been clean for the first time in 4 years for 3 months.When i was using i would tell my self everday i hate these things running my life.But when i was detoxing i could not quit so you need to be ready and really want off.good luck i could not do it at home i had to go to a hospital to do it. They put me on soboxine and librium soboxine for the opiats and librium to keep me from going into the shakes and convultions.

hey i need someone to help...

I am 21 years old and oxycontin is taking over my life, I have never had any addictions before this, not even smoking ciggerettes or drinking alcohol. Let me start by saying, I haven't talked with anyone other than my boyfriend about this addiction,and he too is an on-going addict...it all started about a year ago, when I was 20, I started doing hard-core drugs, not just pills, but meth, ecstasy, cocaine, pot, etc.. I was never really into pills other than a xanax every now and then until sometime around last October, 04'. It all started out so innocently, someone crushed me up an Oxy 40 and I snorted the whole thing and INSTANTLY I felt invincible, like I could do anything, and I absolutley loved it. I was doing Oxy's and Roxicotton (generic oxy's) pretty regulary but not enough to where I had developed an addiction until sometime in January of this year, that is when I had my first REAL withdrawal from any drug, I didn't know what to do. I hated it!! I could not make myself get out of bed, I could not face the day, suddenly the things I once cared about (school, work, family, friends, and bills) became less important to me, and the only thing I craved was my next Oxy in order to get out of bed and face the day. I was taking the Oxy's just to feel 'normal', the high was nothing like the first initial snort, but the withdrawals where so bad that I just HAD to have it!!! After a few months of that a friend of mine had a prescription to methadones and sold me about 40 of them, my boyfriend and I used them over a 2 weeks period and was basically off the Oxycotton, the cravings where less and the withdrawals where mostly gone, it seemed so easy. We thought that once we got off them that we could do an Oxy here and there and use it for just fun and the high I once got from it.. so as soon as my methadones ran out I decided to get 5 OC 20mg's and take them straight to the dome, I crushed and snorted, and the feeling that I use to feel was back, I loved it again!! All though, I didn't go through any withdrawals the next day, so I thought "I'm cured" so I decided to wait a few days before snorting my next Oxy..so after 2 days I snorted a 40mg and by the next morning i woke up with the withdrawals I had beaten once again!! Now I am in a huge financial mess, I don't have the money to keep up this habit so I have got to the point to where I take percocet or hydrocodones to make the withdrawals go away for they are cheaper than the price of Oxy...this addiction is ruining my life... I don't know why they make a pill that is THAT good...the feeling I get when I take a Oxy to the head is the best feeling I have ever experienced, I really feel like superman, but the feeling I feel when it goes away makes me want to just cut the rest of the world off from me and hide... is anyone else a recovering drug addict who could help me through this time? My parents are not understanding and I don't have anyone to REALLY talk to, so many people I know are in the same situation as me, addicted to Oxy's, so it is hard to find someone who is a recovery Oxy addict who can tell me there is hope.. please help...

Post this again as a new thread and you'll get lots of advice. Plenty of people on this board were in the same oxy boat as you and beat it. Plenty are struggling to beat it right now. You can win this battle, but only if you're willing to do whatever it takes...doesn't really seem to be an easy way out.

I can tell you, without question, it will get worse and when it does then it's even harder to quit. That is one absolute certainty in everyone's active addiction...it will not go away on it's own and if you do nothing about it, then it will get worse.

Oh Sweetie. I know where you are coming from. I am an oxy addict myself. I know just how it makes you feel and I know what horrors are in store for you if you continue. I just started on Suboxone yesterday. I have been addicted to pills for a long time now. I will write more later when I have more time. I just wanted you to know that it's GREAT that you reached out. People here are SO supportive. We WILL do what we can for you. I will call out to you on a new thread as soon as I am able. I just happen to have all 4 kids home now and 2 of them are sick! Such is life. Well, at least I am not sneaking upstairs anymore to get those oxy's in my system every 2 hours. Thank GOD for that.


{{{HUGS SWEETIE}}}
~Kim

Dear WhyDoIUse,
The question you probably need to ask yourself and answer honestly is...do I want to quit? If you have reached a point of living hell, you will realize that you must quit. I had an accident that broke my back and had several fusions, however, my regular use of pain medications, particularly oxycontin, did not start until I developed arthritis years later. I was only 24 yrs. old when I had my accident. That was over 10 yrs. ago. Oxy WILL take over your life. There is no question. It will strip you of your humanity, spirituality and your connection with others, especially the people most important to you. If you want to quit, sorry if this sounds cliche, you should work the 12-step program. You may learn a few things about yourself and why you are so compelled to use. Often, I think we are running scared, afraid to face difficult issues. Many people start using for legitimate reasons but addiction will be the end result. It doesn't matter who you are...people from all walks of life, can easily become addicted to Oxy. For me, I have to wake up in the morning and say to my higher power, I am incapable of handling this alone so I am giving it to you. And I think talking about it with others is very helpful. The withdrawal is terrible, but it can be done and it helps to have help, actually, I think it is imperative. I don't think it can be successfully overcome without some compassionate help from someone. I don't mean to sound like I know all, only offer advice from someone who has been there. Ann