After much soul searching, I realized the only way to get over the pain that someone has caused you is by FORGIVING them. You will be taking control of your life and you will be set free! It is the only way. Forgive and Forget by Lewis B Smedes is unbelievable. If you truly want to get out of your trapped soul of pain, this author hits every emotion right on!!!

You know that is great that you found something that works for you. Unfortunately some people have to go through all the stages so they can let go. one of those stages is anger- if it is repressed it will turn into depression quickly. It is normal to feel angry when wronged restoration of balance of justice it is survival instinct. Some people who are in it can't control it blind rage, mostly women because we've havenot been taught to physically get rid of this adrenaline. It is made worse by multiple stressors. It is made worse my the phases of the moon and hormones. It is also made worse by Vodka for some reason (I've heard this from two men <drinking and then doing w/cocaine or anphetemines> and three ladies just the drinking of it turns them into vicious B###### ).

I've seem to have gotten by this by getting rid of major stressors and allowed to be vent being mad, crying, angry, bitter, deppressed, anxious feelings. Now I just laugh sometimes. I know everything is for a reason but sometimes we are so close we can't see it, the big picture will eventually come along with time.

Star44 ......... I found that forgiveness is a promise that can be made and kept regardless of fruit, faith, or feeling.
It's a promise that involves three things:
1. I won't raise these matters with you again.
2. I won't tell others about them.
3. I won't "dwell" on them in my own mind.

Keeping this promise MAY lead to forgetting. But forgetting is another story. We can forgive but only God has the power to forget - or help us forget some things.

Have A Nice Day
RL@

Thank you so much. It is uplifting. Anger takes a long time to get over, I still have it, it won't ever go away it seems, but at least in my own heart I have tried to let it go and move on for my sake and my little family (my kids and husband). I had a sister, but she betrayed me in the worst way, my Mom has died, she had dementia and sister took her to a lawyer and cut me out of the will. Its not the money its the pain of losing love , family love, maybe which I never had from my only sister. But I know my Mom loved me, but she is gone now, and it is frustrating we cannot talk about what happened during her illness. Don't know how this will ever get solved, guess
I just have to pray, read alot, and let it go. Thanks

I am still angry over what happened to me a year ago which I'm still trying to get over.

i read a great thing that helps me it is what ghandi said he said everyone is just doing their best what they think is right.people dont realise what they are doing when they cause you pain and i believe if they did then they would not do it. often when they do things that cause you pain it is from their own pain that they are acting.i try to think these things but i still get mad so easy.they just help you cope with things when you are not mad.i got mad today and thought i was just mad cos life wasnt going my way.and it still doesnt go my way when i get mad!!!!!

[This message has been edited by iduno (edited 05-05-2003).]

is there a chapter in this book on how to forgive the person who continues to cause you problems? i have a situation with my brothers ex-girlfriend (which technically started 4 and a half years ago, but has continued to get worse the past 8 months or so) and i used to be able to ignore her and go on about my business, but now i hate her with my every being and cannot stand the thought of hearing her voice, seeing her face, putting up with her crap..... nevertheless hearing her name. is it possible to make yourself forgive someone who continuously tries destroying your family.... your kids, and if so, how do you go about it? i've tried everything i can think of.... nothings worked yet, i'm open for any and all suggestions. i have no control over my temper or my actions anymore, i have started blacking out..... i feel like i'm going crazy (litterly) and it scares me. thank you and God bless!

I just wanted to relate my story....I have had some Raging Anger issues for about a year....I swear they were triggered by a course of Prednisone I was on for an Asthma attack last year....it took me a few months to really recognize that I was NOT chemically "right" anymore, and that even though my little girls (3 and 5) did cause me alot of stress and aggrivation with their naughtiness and occasional public tantrums....that it was NOT normal or right for me to get SO raging angry at them! I finally called the Dr., feeling like I was about to have a nervous breakdown, and he prescribed me Celexa, an antidepressant....it helped alot, we played with the dosage over the next few months...but I would still get 'pushed over the edge' of sanity at stupid things, and I was wondering if a different medication might be better. Then, a few weeks ago, I had an acute Asthma attack, and was prescribed Prednisone and a bunch of inhalants, which all together made me totally psyschotic...(Steroid Psychosis), I was flipping out angry at the stupidest little things, also hysterically crying, anxious, speedy, hot flashes...it was horrible! Thank God the Dr. put me on Valium to counteract it...and I am SOOOO much better now!

I've since been to a psychiatrist who changed my med to Clonazapam, still in the valium family...and I feel so much better than I have in years! I think maybe I've been having an anxiety problem without really knowing it for a long time.....I'm still getting these steroids out of my system, but when I get all agitated, my little half a clonazapam can make a world of difference!

I'm certainly not a Dr., I just wanted to tell you my story so that maybe you may realize that it could be a chemical imbalance in you too, one that could be easily corrected by finding the right med....CALL YOUR DOCTOR! It feels SO GOOD to FEEL NORMAL again!!!!!

Good Luck! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

Set boundaries. Don´t be close to her. Don´t let people talk you about her. Get out of her arena. Try to ignore her. Pray. Get out your anger in letters you will not send. Keep your mind bussy. Don´t let her uppset you.
You are the one who controles your life.........good luck rucachuca