Hey everyone, i am almost into day 2 here.. and I really cant handle this. These withdrawls, are so much worse than the last time i CT.....I have turned into a wussy.......I am really thinking now, that I should go to the clinic and try the meth thing....i have a 25 mg dose there.....

Should I do that, mabey I can keep my dose low, because i have already been in withdrawl......

Any ideas, IS THERE ANYONE HERE, THAT HAS GONE ON THE METH, AND CAME OFF IT, AND IS CLEAN.....I here so many horror stories about this stuff....but, I dont want to crack and go back to the oxys, and i feel I may at this point, The mental breakdown, has been unreal tonight.....No sleep, mabye 1 hour...

Chris.

Hey Oxy.....well this choice is yours.....at least with the methadone, it is a lifetime maintenance thing....
But on the other hand, you are already two days into this, by Friday, you will be feeling ALOT different. Remember those voices in your head telling you to use are your addiction trying to resurface. It knows if is almost defeated...
Whatever you decide to do, NO OXYS....
Either hit the clinic and be TRUE about wanting to clean up and do exactly what they say.....
or go at this cold turkey with your clonidine and valium. Have you been taking those??? No one ever said this would be easy, but this is a fight for YOUR LIFE BACK!!! It is going to take a little discomfort to get to your prize. Everyone on this board can relate to what you are going thru.

O.k....let me know what is going on...i gotta help my son find his baseball gear, he has school try-outs today.
luv,
LISA

Hi Oxy, Lisa is right, the choice is yours as to what YOU think will be best for YOU!!!!!! I know how hard going through w/d is and especially when it is always going through your mind " If i just take one little pill, i will be all better", i know that is what always would get me. Just keep telling yourself that you are well into this now, no turning back! Also, keep asking yourself, "If i go back to the pills, what is my life going to be like? How many more of my "things" will i have to sell to get more pills? In a month or two, what will i have left?"

Really, as far as the w/d's go, stay focused and deal with the here and now to get through it, look to the future and imagine what will happen and what it will be like if you keep using.

As far as the Methadone, that is a choice that only you can make. If you think you just cant take the w/d's anymore then go to the clinic. Nothing says that you have to stay on it forever. You can do this, just remember, how ever you decide to get clean and stay clean, is ok, there is no wrong way to go about it. Stay strong and good luck!

ValleyGurl

i know..i know...but this is soo hard, i have so many problems, to face right now, i am mentally dehabilitaing.....(sp).....I dont know if i would make it through today.........i havent sleep at all last night, and i have been going really mental, last time i CT, i didnt have half the problems i have now....i do have an incredible desire to be clean, but i just feel like the meth will help me sort out my life for a bit, why am i so confused about the meth, why.......has any faced this, meth vs ct, and how will i be able to make up my mind........i feel like i should go there right now and get the stuff....but on the other hand, i feel like, it wont help me, or i wont feel clean......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh

i know..i know...but this is soo hard, i have so many problems, to face right now, i am mentally dehabilitaing.....(sp).....I dont know if i would make it through today.........i havent sleep at all last night, and i have been going really mental, last time i CT, i didnt have half the problems i have now....i do have an incredible desire to be clean, but i just feel like the meth will help me sort out my life for a bit, why am i so confused about the meth, why.......has any faced this, meth vs ct, and how will i be able to make up my mind........i feel like i should go there right now and get the stuff....but on the other hand, i feel like, it wont help me, or i wont feel clean......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh

Chris, If you need to go to the Meth clinic.....GO..... it is OK. REALLY!!!!! Whatever you need to do to get clean and to get your head together is OK! You have your mind set that you want to be clean, that is a good thing, go to the Meth clinic and get your dose. If the 25mg. stave off the w/d's then that is super....stay with just enough to keep the w/d's away, get your head together and then slowly decrease your meth dose until you are off of it.

As long as you keep your mind set that you want to be drug free and stay away from the oxy's and ONLY get the meth from the clinic, you will be ok. You can do this, Really! In long run, if you cant get through the c/t w/d's then you would be much better off being in the Meth program then what you have been doing!!!! THINK ABOUT IT !!!!

ValleyGurl

God gives us all a cross to bear, and he doesn't give you one that you are not capable of carrying. If you have faith, pray, meditate, slow down and relax, focus on something, a doorknob, a candle, anything. Sit down or laydown and in your head talk to yourself, "reelax", feel the anxiety, worry, depression and pain flow out of the bottem of your feet or your finger tips. Focus on getting through half a day at a time, after that amount of time passes, pat yourself on the back for making it. Hang another hour on to that each day untill your making it through a full day, and tell yourself you did good. After the physical withdrawls are over, its ALL mental. You can do this.

Sending you the power.

Dear Oxy-You are running the spectrum of emotions known as WITHDRAWAL. You want to be clean BUT there is that desire to feel better. TRY and hang in there til Friday and you will. It is damn hard, I know but if you want it bad enough, you will do it. If not, you will just have to do iot again at another time.......PEACE to you.....think posisitve.....Kahlia